Only Him
by NightWrighter511
Summary: Four years after the conclusion of LS Rose & Dimitri are going strong, Lissa is a queen worth waiting for and Moroi combat magic is finally taking off. Life is good. Until someone from inside Court becomes a threat to Lissa. Now Rose must find out who among them has it out for the queen before they do something irrevocable. There's also the matter of a little miracle to deal with.
1. Chapter 1

**Four years after the conclusion of Last Sacrifice Rose and Dimitri are going strong, Lissa is a queen worth waiting for and Moroi combat magic is finally taking off. Life is good. Until someone from inside Court becomes a threat to Lissa. Now Rose must find out who among them has it out for the queen before they do something irrevocable. And there's also the little matter of a miracle to deal with.**

 **I have had this story in my head since before the Bloodline series was published and finally decided to write it. As it is, I have decided to incorporate certain things from Bloodlines but not others. There was no discovery about dhampir-dhampir reproduction in this story.**

 **General disclaimer: This is a pregnancy fic. However, there is much more to it than just Rose, Dimitri and a baby. Pregnancy doesn't come into play for a few chapters.**

 **I know this is a common theme for VA fanfictions but I thought it was worth writing anyway. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA, I own this plot.**

* * *

 _In a very bad breach of guardian protocol, he caught a hold of my hand and pulled me toward him. "And?" he asked, wrapping me in an embrace._

" _I think she'd ask, 'What have we gotten ourselves into?'"_

" _What's the answer?" His warmth was all around me, as was his love, and again, I felt that completeness. I had the missing piece of my world back. The soul that complemented mine. My match. My equal. Not only that, I had my life back—my own life. I would protect Lissa, I would serve, but I was finally my own person._

" _I don't know," I said, leaning against his chest. "But I think it's going to be good."_

 **Four Years Later**

Gentle fingers trailed over the bare curve of my hip and down to my knee before retracing the path up and up. They trailed over the swell of my breast. "Mmmmm," I moaned, eyes squeezed tightly shut, "five more minutes." The body pressed up against my back shook with silent laughter. Dimitri tightened the arm he had wrapped around me, pulling me closer.

"Trust me, Roza," he said in my ear. "I would love to stay here with you all day. But we have work to do."

I made a creative suggestion about what work could go do. Dimitri made a gentle sound of admonition deep in his chest before pressing a kiss just behind my ear. I shivered at the contact.

"Now," he said as he pulled away from me. I cried out in surprise as he slipped out of bed, flipping back the covers as he went. The cold early January air struck my bare skin and sent instant shivers through my body. "We promised Christian. And you were late last time."

I groped for the missing blankets but Dimitri had yanked them completely off of our bed. I opened my eyes to glare at him as he tossed them out of the bedroom door and into the living space.

Part of my mind stopped to admire the striking figure he made in the light of the setting sun that crept through the curtains of our apartment. Tall with lean, hard muscles and tanned skin. His hair was the most beautiful shade of brown and barely brushed his shoulders. His pajama pants rode precariously low on his hips. He was twenty-nine but didn't look a day over twenty-five, a result of his healthy lifestyle and the lasting effects of his time as a Strigoi.

The part of my mind that wasn't preoccupied with ogling him was debating the pros and cons of darting quickly across the room to retrieve the blankets. Our apartment wasn't big here at Court, only one bedroom and one bathroom. Cozy and perfect for us considering were rarely home to do anything more than sleep. The small distance seemed far too big at the moment to bother with, however.

"The shower's warm!" Dimitri called as he disappeared into the bathroom. I heard the sound of running water a moment later.

That decided it for me. As much as I loved sleep I loved the idea of a quick morning shower—and maybe something else—with Dimitri before the day officially started even more. And yeah, he was right. We had to be at the gym soon. We were helping Christian and Mia teach their Moroi Combat Magic class. It had finally gained Council approval last year (after everything that had come to light four years prior regarding Queen Tatiana's experiments with the subject). Now, in Lissa's forth year as Queen, the program had finally kicked off. Funding had been secured, teachers hired, and the first recruits located. The lessons had begun at the beginning of the month and it was necessary for both Dimitri and I to be there. We had actually fought side by side with Moroi before and therefore had valuable experience to share. Also, we were badass at our jobs and who wouldn't want to learn combat skills from us?

There were a few other guardians involved. Mikhail Tanner was one of them. He helped on occasion, when he wasn't on duty or caught up in the happy daze of domesticity with his wife Sonya and their two-year-old daughter. But the class was small enough for now, only five of each element users. There was a teacher for each element—Christian taught fire obviously, and Mia water—and the two of us, most classes.

Which meant that it was pretty important that we were there. With a sigh I slipped from the bed and headed to the shower with my ever so responsible boyfriend.

* * *

In the event, we were late anyway. Dimitri was scolding me for our tardiness but I hadn't heard him complaining earlier in the shower when we weren't actually showering. I rolled my eyes at him as he held the door to the gym open for me.

The class was milling around at the back of the gym, which was the space that had been allotted to our cause. Christian was there, dark haired and slim, leaning against the far wall with the same snarky look on his face that he'd had when we were seventeen. He'd changed a bit though. Where he had once been borderline scrawny he now had very subtle but definitely there muscles roping his tall frame. He'd been very diligent in his practices over the years.

"Well well well, look who is late," he drawled as we reached his side. "And look how not surprised I am."

"Stuff it, Sparky," I snapped back. "Just because Lissa isn't giving you any doesn't mean you have to be jealous of us."

Christian glared at me. He wasn't particularly happy with how familiar I was with his love life. It wasn't my fault that Lissa confided in me. I may not be able to see into her head anymore but I was as familiar with the ins and outs of her personal life—and by extension, Christian's—as I ever had been.

"I don't know how you put up with it, Belikov." Christian made it clear that I was the 'it' he'd been referring to. Dimitri just chuckled and they moved off to call the class to order.

The two of them had come a long way since St. Vladimir's. They both had broken out of their anti-social shells and become fairly good friends. Of course, Dimitri was his sanctioned guardian so the two of them spent a lot of time together. Christian traveled a lot, whether with Lissa on business or on business of his own. While the Moroi combat classes were just kicking off he'd done a fair bit of traveling over the past several years, going from different schools to courts and other large Moroi congregations, first advocating for Moroi magic use and later recruiting victims—er—students.

Dimitri had been through everything with him. The two of them made an interesting team, one that I was reluctant to acknowledge. I already shared Lissa with Christian; I didn't like sharing Dimitri with him too. But it could be worse.

The two of them carried a mixed air about them, followed always by their pasts. Christian, his parents decision to turn Strigoi and then his Aunt Tasha's betrayal, Dimitri, his past deeds as a Strigoi and then orchestrator of the jail break for yours truly. But the good on their records outshined the bad and people listened to them.

I spent a lot of time traveling with Lissa, myself. School visits, royal functions and events, political unrest, the list went on. Everywhere Lissa went, I went.

And it was necessary, too. Over the last few years there had been an increase in Strigoi attacks. I didn't know if they were getting bolder or if there were just more of them. Either way it was always a risk to leave the safety of the wards. I was Lissa's head guardian but there were as many as ten others that accompanied her outside Court.

And she was off Court soil for more than just her queenly duties; she also went to school.

She attended Lehigh University as she'd planned with Queen Tatiana before her death. She would be graduating at the end of this semester. I still didn't know how she managed to balance running the Moroi world, exams and a social life but that wasn't my job. My job was to make sure that she stayed alive long enough to figure that out for herself.

It had been a good few years. Full of danger, yes, but good. Lissa had done so many great things for the Moroi and dhampirs since she'd been crowned. While nothing changed overnight there had been a subtle change in the treatment of dhampirs ever since she'd become queen. It sent ripples through our world and everyone could feel the effects. Dhampir's were no longer treated as second-class citizens.

That wasn't to say that we weren't treated as hired labor, though. Our population still relied on the interaction with Moroi and that was never going to change. We were inexplicably linked and therefore still had predetermined roles. Moroi were fragile and protected, dhampir's did the protecting. But there was a little more concern for our wellbeing and feelings towards the situation as a whole.

Lissa had also started to implement laws that gave more political power to the masses of common Moroi. Their influence was limited but it was an opportunity they'd never been afforded previously. Most of the royals were up in arms about it but the one benefit to Lissa not having a huge royal family at her back was that she wasn't forced to consider their perspective. She did what she damn well pleased and in this case, it was mending the rift between Moroi social classes.

The class had settled down as Christian called them to order. Mia stood by his side. She'd been as involved in kick starting the combat classes as Christian and Lissa. Her curly blond ringlets were pinned back and her face was set in a no-nonsense look as she studied her students. The students were a wide range of Moroi from all walks of life. There were young people barely out of school and a few middle aged Moroi who approached the curriculum with a lot less zeal than their younger counterparts. A majority of the students were in their late twenties though. There was also a fair mix of royal and non-royal.

Christian was laying out the day's exercises for them, instructing them to break up into groups and rotate through different stations, which would be manned by both Dimitri and I as well as Serena, one of the two original guardians who had participated in Queen Tatiana's trial runs. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Serena to agree to help. At first she'd been too torn up over the death of her partner Grant; she'd gotten over it eventually (as much as its possible to get over the loss of a great friend and mentor) and joined us.

We spent the rest of the morning walking the Moroi through the basics of self-defense: block this, hit that, aim here, stand like that. It would be a while until the class was well versed enough in the basics that they could move on to the stuff we were all interested in. Still, I found the work comforting and not all that unpleasant. When the class finally came to an end for the day I was somewhat disappointed.

I left Dimitri at the gym with Christian discussing an outing he had planned for later that day while I went to find Lissa. She had classes on campus later that day and we had to leave during the daylight hours (Moroi night) to ensure that there were no Strigoi attacks in transit.

I found her in her office. It had once belonged to Queen Tatiana (and presumably all previous kings and queens). My first memory of the room had been from the time I'd been ordered in front of the old bitch and chewed out for my then non-existent relationship with her great-nephew Adrian Ivashkov. The room looked completely different now, decorated to Lissa's less grand tastes but the bones were still the same. I glared accusingly as the spot where Tatiana had once stood before making my way over to where Lissa sat behind a large mahogany desk.

The desk was cluttered with heaps of papers. Looking over Lissa's shoulder I watched as she signed one document with a flourish before flipping to another document and crossing out a few lines, initialing by the changes, and setting it in a different stack. After that she pulled out yet another paper, this one her Political Science homework. She knew I was there but she didn't say anything until she scribbled down the answers to the final two questions and slipped the paper into her backpack, which was tucked under the desk in her leg space.

"Busy day?" I asked her. She leaned back heavily in her chair and exhaled, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She looked immaculate as always, corn silk hair pulled back into a neat bun, sweater-dress unwrinkled and tailored to perfection. She gave me a bleary smile.

"The beginning of the new year is always hectic. People trying to submit new changes before the Council resumes and all that."

"Take a break with me," I suggested, moving to clear her desk of papers.

She cried out in protest.

"Rose," she exclaimed. "Those were all sorted out. Now they're mixed up!"

"You know me," I said blithely. "Bringing chaos to order for the past twenty-two years."

She gave me a weary look. "I'll never get those all sorted before we have to leave for class."

"Oh good," I said. "Then no point in wasting time trying. Come on," I pulled out her chair from the desk and gave it a shake. "Let's grab breakfast, I'm starving."

* * *

Dimitri and Christian found us at our favorite café, coincidentally it was the one that I had been arrested in and charged for the murder of Lissa's predecessor.

They each pulled up a seat. Christian filched a croissant from Lissa's plate as he dropped a kiss onto her cheek.

"I didn't think you'd ever get away from your work," he said to her as she snatched the pastry back. It tore in half and they both looked okay with the result.

Dimitri hadn't dared to try and take my chocolate éclair from me, instead contenting himself by wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer. I leaned in happily, inhaling the soothing scent of his aftershave.

Lissa mock glared at me. "It's Roses fault," she responded. "She made a mess of all my papers."

I shrugged deprecatingly, unbothered by the accusation.

"Someone had to get you out of that office," I said. "You've been hold up in there for too long. We were beginning to forget what you look like." I hadn't been lying earlier when I accused Christian of being jealous of Dimitri and my intimacy. I knew his own love life had been lacking the past few weeks in accordance with Lissa's overly busy schedule. She was working ungodly hours and dropping into bed at the end of each day, exhausted.

"It will slow down when the Council convenes in a few weeks," Lissa assured us. "The paperwork up until then is crazy but once all topics for discussion have been properly submitted and approved the only work I'll have to do will be during the actual meetings. Outside those chambers I'll be a free woman."

"Thank God," Christian agreed.

"Have you heard from Jill lately?" Dimitri asked after a few minutes lull in the conversation. Jill, Lissa's half sister, went to school in California under the ever-watchful gaze of her guardian/boyfriend Eddie Castile, her bond-mate Adrian Ivashkov, Adrian's wife/Alchemist/badass witch Sydney Sage-Ivashkov and a backwoods Keeper turned guardian, and was supposed to visit winter break but had decided last minute on a romantic get away with Eddie instead. I didn't blame her. Court life was not something Jillian Manstrano-Dragomir was made for.

While she had been an awkward girl in her youth she'd really come into herself during her time in California. All of the drama she'd gone through with the Alchemists, the Circle of Light and an ex-Strigoi/crazy boyfriend had helped her mature. She was now the picture of confidence and a large proponent for Moroi combat magic. But she sill wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with her relationship with Lissa. That too had gotten better over the years but things could still be tense. She was also supposed to be coming to Court at some point in the near future to help out with the magic training.

"Yes," Lissa answered. "I talked to her the other day. She's coming out over spring break. She said she wanted to celebrate Rose's birthday while she was out here." She turned a flashy smile in my direction, one I returned. A visit from Jill and the gang would be nice. There were always fun stories to exchange, whether they be about awkward situations when she used to get sucked into Adrian's head (something I found extremely funny when it wasn't happening to me), anecdotes about something crazy Angeline did, or spells Sydney had been experimenting with (something even _I_ found hard to believe but couldn't refute once I'd seen it with my own eyes). Plus, a birthday celebration sounded fun. I loved a good party, particularly one where I got presents.

We finished our meal in peace before moving on with the day. Lissa and Christian went off together (I hoped they would sneak in some alone time), and Dimitri and I headed off to our shifts with the Court guardians.

* * *

 **This chapter was to sort of set the stage for everything to come. Action is coming!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.**

* * *

2

When Lissa had first announced her intention to attend Lehigh University after she took up the mantle of Queen, I had thought she was crazy. I had been against it and had spent several days listing out all of the things that could go wrong, starting with the stupidity of having a scheduled time outside of the wards that Strigoi could take advantage of and ending with the reminder of homework.

In the end she had gotten her way, as we both knew she would.

It had actually worked out much better than I could have hoped for. While her class schedule was unfortunately inflexible and something that couldn't be kept from the public, we—the guardians—took great care in mixing up the times we left Court to head to campus, what we were driving, and where we were staying. Not to mention the veritable SWAT team of guardians that prowled the campus while we were there, all dressed in plain clothes and doing their best to blend in with the general population.

There had been a few incidents over the past few years and I often found myself wondering what happened to the time where guardians could go years without encountering a Strigoi. As Lissa's guardian I was no stranger to Strigoi. I had gained five more _molnija_ marks since she'd become queen and there were a few kills still unaccounted for.

Today's convoy to campus had consisted of three silver Honda—Dimitri would be so proud—Pilots. Lissa and I rode in the last one. This was an arbitrary choice, sometimes we would be the head of the procession and sometimes we would take the classic middle position. The hour and a half drive to campus was uneventful, as it usually was during the day. We could not afford to relax our guard though because of the ever-increasing threat of both humans working with Strigoi as well as Moroi radicals. There were still many Moroi living under our noses at Court who did not agree with Lissa's title. They tended to rear up at the most inconvenient moments, like during a crucial vote, but for the most part they stayed away from physical violence. Or, well, they mostly had since Jill was killed four years ago. She'd been brought back by Adrian of course, but we had really cracked down on known threats within the Moroi community since then.

Honestly, the whole gig as Lissa's head guardian (and near guardian in public settings) was nearly perfect.

Nearly.

I got to spend time with my best friend, protect her, and get into some pretty awesome parties while on duty; I could handle the occasional physical altercation with Strigoi or verbal smack downs with radicals as compensation. What I couldn't handle was Lissa's Political Science class.

As her near guard I sat beside her in all of her classes while other guardians took up positions near the exits in the classrooms and patrolled the hallways and campus. It had been easier when she was a freshman and sophomore, just completing her undergraduate requirement classes. Those classrooms held over two hundred people and, while it made keeping an eye on everyone difficult, it was much easier to blend into the crowd. In her final upper level classes I actually had to enroll along side her and participate in the classes just to keep from drawing unnecessary attention to her.

If someone had told me when I was in high school that I would be graduating college with a political science degree alongside the queen of the Moroi I would have asked them what kind of drug they were taking.

Now, however, I was actually kind of proud of myself when I wasn't busy hating my life or studying for exams. Lissa was acing her class while I was a steady C student, good considering I was technically on duty while taking exams.

Still, proud or not I found political science one of the most boring subjects to sit through. I liked the dhampir way of handling things better; hitting someone until they conceded.

One thing that had resulted from my old bond with Lissa was that I'd become pretty good at dividing my attention and focusing on more than one thing at once. So, today I was able to somewhat follow along with the lecture while devoting a majority of my attention to my surroundings, watching the fading sun through the blind-covered windows located three quarters of the way up the wall.

The windows weren't really a concern right now (they were too high to be used as a point of entry) but the steadily decreasing sunlight certainly was.

Lissa came to campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays for her classes this semester. She had two in the early morning and this final one in the evening. While four o' clock wasn't an incredibly late time to get out of class, in the winter months in the mountains of the northern USA it got dark fairly early. This class usually let out early and gave our convoy enough time to whisk Lissa back to Court before full dark truly settled. At the rate this lecture was going I thought we might possibly run over our allotted class time. In that case we'd have to seriously re-evaluate moving Lissa tonight.

While the idea of having Lissa outside of the protective wards all night was not a comforting one we could at least lock down a house and be alert for any changes in our surroundings. If we were to drive her back to Court we would be, by definition, constantly changing our surroundings. We wouldn't be able to see a Strigoi attack as quickly. And the few extra seconds of warning counted in a fight. In addition to the risks run from constantly changing surroundings, there had been reports of increased Strigoi activity in one of the towns we'd have to pass through to get to Court. There were usually back roads that could be taken to avoid them but we'd had a snowstorm two days ago and the snowplows hadn't gotten to clearing the less used roads.

I listened carefully to my earpiece as all of the guardians reported in on their quadrant checks.

All clear. The campus was secure enough at the moment. Lehigh University wasn't a particularly big school compared to others but around here it was a large aggregation of human. If there were any Strigoi around who were looking for an easy meal and weren't particularly picky about whether it was Moroi, dhampir, or human campus would be the perfect hunting grounds.

With an impatient sigh I turned back to the lecture and waited anxiously as the sun sank lower and lower.

* * *

In the end we were forced to stay for the night. Court held several small properties near the campus (specifically for situations like this) and we moved Lissa to one directly after class, sequestering her away in the interior living space of the second floor apartment. This wasn't the first time this had happened.

Lissa quickly got settled at the dining room table, spreading out a combination of homework and business papers to deal with. I left her calling Christian while I moved into the kitchen to scrounge up some food and call in the change of plans to Hans.

When I returned five minutes later, sadly empty handed, Lissa was busily scribbling down notes in the margins of some random, but no doubt important, document.

"Did you get a hold of Christian?" I asked her. I nodded to Daniel, a guardian in his thirties who was guarding the large bay window. I knew there was another guardian in the bedroom guarding that point of entry, two outside the front door and the remainder guarding the perimeter. They were calling in the occasional check-in and all clear.

"No," she sighed. "It went to voicemail. He probably just got back to Court himself. He's been up all night, too. I bet he fell asleep." I could hear her slight disgruntlement. She wanted to hear his voice, I knew. She was pretty sappy about wanting to hear his voice before she went to bed and was quite possibly pissed off that Christian hadn't wanted the same in return.

I, on the other hand, decided to let Dimitri sleep. As much as I'd like to hear his voice too I knew I'd see him when we returned the next day and would content myself with that.

"Probably," I agreed.

We lulled into a comfortable silence for a while, Lissa intent on her work and me doing my own homework between communication with the team. When Lissa finally went to lie down for a nap in the bedroom I followed, changing positions with the guardian in there.

It was late by human standards, about four in the morning, when I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't nausea, that indicator of Strigoi had disappeared with the bond, blessedly taking the ghosts with it. However something felt off to me. I moved back to the window, peering out the tinted panes and to the snow covered ground below. I didn't see the other guardians patrolling but I knew they were there. That hadn't been what unsettled me. I watched out the window for a few minutes more, seeing nothing but the occasional rabbit hop across the courtyard. Chalking it up to paranoia, I turned away from the window and tried to relax, focusing on individual muscles one by one and commanding them to loosen.

It didn't work.

Was I overreacting? I wondered. Caught up in the excitement of being out of the wards in the dark? It didn't happen often. Maybe I was treating it like a novelty, like something _had_ to happen. That wasn't the case of course. I couldn't think that Strigoi were stupid enough to try and attack the royal guard and expect a good outcome. The ten of us would give any number of Strigoi a run for their money. The risks definitely outweighed the benefits for them.

Still, that didn't mean I wanted there to be an attack. I was long past the point in my life where I craved action and attention. I still liked them when the opportunity presented but I preferred if they didn't come heralded by a bloody attack by the evil undead.

Mature or not I couldn't shake the feeling. After another few minutes of sitting on pins and needles I caved to my baser instincts and gently shook Lissa awake.

"Wha-?" she groaned groggily as she sloughed off sleep. "What's…Rose?" She squinted at me, her jade green eyes luminous in the night. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," I admitted, shifting from one foot to the other. "But something doesn't feel right. Can you move to the living room?" I asked. "I'd feel better if we weren't in such close quarters."

The living room was better protected and allowed for more guardians to be present. Lissa had known me long enough not to argue with my instincts. She immediately climbed to the edge of the bed and slipped on her pumps before preceding me to the bedroom door.

The living room was dimly lit, the guardians on duty as vigilant as ever though clearly sensing no threat. Feeling slightly stupid I confided my concern with them. They took it in stride and quick orders were relayed through the com systems asking for immediate check-ins.

"Its cold as balls out here. But the road's all clear," said Alan immediately.

"Parking lot's clear,"

"All's quiet between building's C and D." The apartment we were in was building C.

"Same with B and C."

The reports kept coming in as one by one the guardians secured the perimeter.

Alan.

George.

Stella.

Xavier.

Jeff—

"Jeff?" I called through the com when I realized he hadn't checked in.

No answer.

"Jeff?" I asked again.

Static.

"Does anyone have eyes on Jeff?" I demanded, moving to the back of the living space to peer out the window towards the back of the apartment complex. I scanned with sharp eyes, looking for any signs of movement, both hoping to see Jeff and dreading anything else. There was no movement outside. The snow was unmarked by footprints. It was dead quiet inside the apartment as the inhabitance waited on baited breath—the guardians listening to the drama, Lissa only understand half of the situation but connecting the dots.

I saw nothing and a few moments later a voice crackled over the coms.

"Its Jeff," Jeff said. "Sorry, the mic cut out for a minute." I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "It's all clear back here—hang on."

My breath froze in my chest once more. I saw a figure dart across the back lawn, moving with the catlike grace of a trained guardian. Jeff moved towards the shadow cast by a building on the far size of the complex and disappeared inside it.

Just when I was about to ask him what he was seeing there was a movement from within the shadows. A figure came flying out of them only to land heavily on the lawn a few yards away.

Jeff.

And suddenly we were all moving. Pale figures darted out of the shadows faster than any dhampir or Moroi could move.

My stake was in my hand before I even processed the movement. Orders rang over the coms as I sent Alan and George to get Jeff. I called for Xavier and Stella to start the cars.

"You need to go," I told Lissa, moving from the window and grabbing her by the upper arm. I started towing her towards the door. The two guardians outside the front door—Brandon and Thom—were waiting. "Get her to the car," I ordered.

"Rose!" Lissa gasped, finally emerging from her shock. "Rose no!"

"You have to," I said. "There are too many points of entry here. The front stairs are still clear. You need to go. Now."

We moved out of the apartment and down the exterior hallway, the biting cold of the winter night piercing us through our thin clothes. Neither Lissa nor I had spared a moment to grab our coats. Daniel led the group and I followed up the rear, stake in hand, muscles tense. Lissa was packaged tightly between the guardians but she was still entirely too exposed for my liking. Behind us I heard the breaking of glass from the apartment.

"Go, run!" I called. And then we were running. Thom and Brandon practically carried Lissa down the stairs and across the short distance to the idling cars. Stella was at the wheel of the SUV that Daniel reached first. He threw open the door and Lissa was shoved unceremoniously thorough. I could hear fighting in the distance, moving closer and I stopped on the sidewalk, turning to face the direction of the fight. I heard as Daniel and Thom got into the car with Lissa. "Go!" I shouted when I realized they were still there. I looked over my shoulder to see Lissa forcing the door to the SUV open, clearly waiting for me. I shook my head and yelled "Go, go, g—"

Something grabbed me and suddenly I was airborne. _Shit,_ I thought. _So much for major guardian mojo._

I had gotten distracted. I had turned away from the direction of danger to argue with my charge. That was a novice move. A really, really bad novice move. Of course, in my defense Lissa was being entirely stupid holding up their departure.

I don't remember much of the actual fight but I certainly remember the impact. I slammed into the brick siding of the apartment with stunning force, stomach first and forehead second. I saw stars.

I fell to the concrete below, stunned as slowly the stars floating through my vision cleared into the stars of the night sky above.

My chest hurt and at first I thought it was from the bruising impact. Only moments later I realized it was from lack of breath. I took in a large gulp of air, gasping like a fish out of water.

I heard the squealing of tires and managed to turn my head and see the receding taillights of the SUV as Stella got Lissa the hell out of here.

 _Good_ , I thought. That was what mattered.

There was an all out battle going on around me as the remaining guardians clashed with the Strigoi. The Strigoi probably thought I was dead and, to be honest, I felt like I should have been. The pain in my abdomen, where I had absorbed the brunt of the impact, was overwhelming. I'm pretty sure that being hit by a car would have hurt less because, well, a car wasn't as heavy as a three story colonial condominium.

But I had to continue. A quick survey of my body reveled that, miraculously, I hadn't broken any bones. I painstakingly flipped over onto all fours and grabbed for the stake that had rolled a few feet away from me.

There weren't too many Strigoi, though, not a small number either. Counting, I saw five, each locked in deadly battle with a guardian.

I launched myself into action, realizing mid-motion that I might have been wrong in my initial assessment, I was fairly certain I'd at least cracked a few ribs.

I slammed into the back of the first Strigoi I came across, stake first. The Strigoi, a tall, wiry man that must have been Moroi at one point, hadn't seen me coming. The stake slipped between his ribs with the ease that accompanied too much practice and he went down. Brandon glanced at me, looking mildly surprised to see me alive, before nodding in thanks and throwing himself at the Strigoi attacking Xavier.

I returned to the fight as well. The next few minutes took on the haze of battle, where time seems to simultaneously slow down and speed up. I distinctly felt each blow I traded with the Strigoi as well as the surprising resistance put up by flesh as I staked a second one, but I didn't remember moving between opponents as I aided first Alan, then George. The haze only ended when there were no more Strigoi to stake.

I looked up, blinking blood from my eyes, to survey our surroundings.

The incredible thing about guardian and Strigoi battles was that, while seeming cataclysmic to those involved, they could be rather quick and quiet. There were no screams from humans startled out of sleep, no sirens as the police were called. Our battle had taken place in near silence.

Alan walked over to me, limping slightly.

"You okay, Rose?" he asked, reaching out a hand to lightly brush my forehead. I hissed and pulled away. I had forgotten I'd hit my head but I realized now that must be the source of the blood in my eyes.

"Yeah," I said, wiping the back of my hands over my eyes. "Nothing too bad. You?"

"I'll live."

That was the general consensus of the rest of the guys and I felt relief wash over me. Momentarily. Until I realized we were missing someone.

"Jeff!" I gasped, looking to Alan and George who had gone to his aid originally. They looked back at me in surprise. They'd forgotten him too.

We darted around the building, leaving Brandon and Xavier to call in to Hans and the Alchemists.

We found Jeff next to the bodies of two more Strigoi. If I hadn't been so concerned with my coworkers wellbeing I would have let out an impressed whistle. Seven Strigoi. How had they found us?

I'd worry about that later. Lissa was presumably on her way back to Court, the sun was starting to light the horizon and I knew that no more Strigoi would risk attacks tonight.

Jeff lay crumpled next to one of the Strigoi he'd killed, a dark red stain marring the otherwise white snow. I reached him ahead of the others and fell to his side, wincing as the act jolted my own sore body.

"Jeff? Hey Mather's," I called, reaching out a hand to shake his shoulder. "Wake up. No sleeping on the job." The others had reached us by now and we carefully rolled Jeff onto his back.

I winced at the damage revealed. One of the Strigoi had managed to rake him pretty gruesomely across the chest. His white dress shirt was tattered and stained scarlet with his own blood. At first I didn't see any other injuries until I realized that what I'd assumed was blood from the injuriy on his chest was actually coming from another source. His shaggy blond hair obscured it at first but I suddenly saw the shredded side of his neck.

"Oh shit," I whispered, reaching out swiftly to cup one hand over the bleeding wound. I'd been trained in emergency field trauma care and swiftly acted, reaching up to pinch off the exposed artery, trying to reduce the rate at which the blood pulsed from his body. Already though, I knew it was too late. He was soaked in his own blood and so was the ground. He didn't have much left in him. Certainly not enough to wait for help.

Jeff knew this too. He blinked up at me sleepily and gave what passed for a smile.

"Hey Hathaway," he croaked. "You look too serious."

"Yeah well when I catch one of my guys lying down on the job I get a bit testy," I teased back half-heartedly. Jeff was in his late twenties, like Dimitri, and half of me saw _him_ lying on the ground instead of Jeff. This made me feel guilty because it most certainly _was_ Jeff laying here and he was dying. He deserved to have the people attending to him paying their undivided attention to him in his last moments.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I'll do better next time."

Alan and George were kneeling on Jeff's other side by now. With my free hand I stroked back the blood-soaked blond hair from his forehead.

"Better?" I asked, choking back a sob. "How could you do better?" I demanded. "You took out two Strigoi before any of us even knew there was an attack! What else could you do?"

"I could _not_ die," he gave a choked laugh that ended in a gurgle. Blood stained his mouth.

"Yeah, well at lest you won't be undead." That was the only bit of good news he could have in the current situation but by the look in his eyes it was comfort enough.

"Lissa got away, right?" he choked and more blood went flying. I felt flecks of it land on my face and neck but I didn't move away. "You wouldn't be here if she hadn't."

I couldn't find my voice to answer so Alan did for me. "Yeah man," he said gently. "She got away. With Stella." It was a poorly concealed secret that he and Stella had had a thing for the past two years. On and off but they still cared for each other. I had struggled with the decision to have one of them reassigned, old fears about romantic relationships getting in the way of duty resurfacing, but had decided against it. Now I was glad for that, seeing the relief on Jeff's face. "You gave them time to get away."

He was fading fast now. He was cold to the touch and there was barely any blood seeping through my fingers anymore. When he spoke, it was so soft that I had to strain to hear him. But I heard him.

Jeff died in my arms a moment later and we all sat in somber silence until we heard the sound of tires on pavement. Alan informed us that the Alchemists were here and I realized vaguely that I'd lost my earpiece in the fight. Both he and George gathered up Jeff's body and carried him towards the waiting SUVs, none of us wanting to leave him behind with the Strigoi that had taken him from us.

The Alchemists were efficient and cold, as usual. They assured us that they would clean up the remaining mess and send a report in to guardian headquarters by the end of the day.

As we pulled onto the highway and headed back to Court I thought about what Jeff had said right before he died and wondered, would it always be this way?

 _They come first._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA. I own this plot.

* * *

3

The Court was settling down for the night when our SUV finally pulled through the gates and into the garage. Alan and George once again took up Jeff's body and brought him into the sanctity of the guardian headquarters for the last time.

I took a few moments to verify that Lissa's convoy had made it back unscathed and that the rest of the guardians were safe before darting off across the grounds towards the main business building where Lissa's office was located. The sun shown brightly on the snowdrifts, a rare sunny day for this time of year, and I saw nobody save for the occasional guardian. They did a double take as I went blazing through the quad but I paid no attention to them, intent on finding Lissa and personally seeing that she was okay. News of the attack wouldn't have gotten out yet, everyone had gone to bed, but I knew that by morning it would be everywhere. I wanted to make sure that she got the full story before having to deal with the questions.

I made it to the main building within a few minutes and slipped inside the warm, brightly lit hallway.

I heard the low rumble of voices coming from the office down the hall. My shoes were silent on the polished wood floors as I made my way forward. I stopped before the double doors of Lissa's office and the guardians on duty, after another surprised look, let me in.

The conversation inside cut off abruptly as I entered.

I was exhausted, the weight of the days events only adding to the sore muscles and fatigue I felt. Despite my exhaustion, however, I straightened my shoulders as I walked towards Lissa. No need to let her feel any more worried than I was sure she did. I suddenly, and with a strong vehemence, missed the bond. Having that connection with her, knowing that she was okay, would have been such a relief throughout the past night. As it was I felt immediate relief upon seeing her now. That relief grew when I saw whom she was speaking to.

"Roza!" Dimitri pulled away from Lissa and Christian and made a beeline towards me. I barely had time to take in his worried expression before I was caught up in his arms.

I wanted to cry out in protest as my muscles stretched and cracked ribs groaned but the overwhelming sense of relief and comfort I felt in the circle of his arms overpowered that need.

"Hey comrade," I choked out. "You missed a great fight tonight."

He made a noise of disapproval in his throat before pulling back. Lissa and Christian had come to join us by now, equal expressions of relief on their pale faces.

"Thank God you're al—oh my God! Rose! Are you hurt?" Lissa's eyes widened as she took me in.

 _What kind of question is that?_ I wondered. I'd just taken on a legion of Strigoi and nearly had my ass handed to me. Of course I was hurt! But not enough to warrant her reaction. Both Christian and Dimitri were now looking at me with the same expression. Dimitri moved one hand from my shoulder to the front of my shirt where, I saw for the first time, blood was smeared. In fact, I was fairly covered with the stuff. I'd washed my hands at some point since arriving at Court but hadn't done a great job of it. I could still see blood under my nails, in the bend of my elbow. In addition to that my shirt was soaked with it and I suddenly remembered the wound on my forehead. I must look like hell.

"Not mine," I sighed. "Jeff's."

Dimitri's tight grip on my shoulder relaxed minutely. The tension in the air diffused slightly but Lissa still looked worried.

"Is he…" she trailed off, unsure how to proceed.

"Dead," I said shortly.

"Oh," she breathed, a profound look of sadness overtaking her expression. "Oh no. If I'd been there—"

"If you'd been there you could be dead too," Christian said sharply. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "It's not your fault."

"Sparky's right," I said, making a face at the words. There had been a day, once upon a time, that those words would have never crossed my lips. A lot had changed over the past four years but I still caught the faintest flicker of a smirk on his lips. Christian was thinking the same thing I was. "For once," I tacked on, just to be petulant. The smirk vanished. "Jeff knew what he was doing. His death is sad but it won't upend Moroi society like yours would."

Dimitri pulled me to his side. We were guardians. This sort of thing was common. Hell, it was almost expected from time to time. Still, it was scary when it did. I could feel the slightest tremor in the solid arm that ensnared my waist. He was fighting hard against whatever his initial reaction was. I thought part of it was his instinct to hunt down the Strigoi and dole out justice. The rest was his restraint against throwing me up against a wall and kissing me senseless. While the latter action sounded more pleasurable on my own part I'd been thrown up against enough walls today.

"Hans will want a word with you," I told Lissa. "I sent the other guardians in for debriefing but he still needs to talk to the both of us."

"I did when I first got back," she told me.

I shook my head. "A few words to prove you're alive isn't going to cut it with Hans."

"You know me well, Hathaway," drawled a voice from the doorway I'd just come through. Hans stood there flanked by the rest of the guardian detail that I had arrived with and a few others.

I shrugged, wincing as pain raced through my ribs. "It's easy," I replied. "I ask myself what the most boring course of action would be and, _bam!_ there's your answer."

Hans scowled at me. The old man certainly hadn't gotten any younger over the past few years but he was as solid as ever and had that same commanding presence I remembered from when I was a teen.

"Are we ever going to get past your insubordination, Guardian Hathaway?" he asked tartly.

"Probably not."

Lissa cleared her throat. "If we could please proceed…?" she trailed off.

Our commentary cut off as Hans took her cue and began the tedious process of debriefing us all, gathering the story from all angles.

"Has anyone told Stella?" I asked at one point. I didn't clarify what they would have told her but I didn't need to. I felt Dimitri's arm tighten around me, thankful that nobody had to have that conversation with him.

Brandon nodded. "I did. She's gone home to rest." I could only imagine what she was going through and decided that I would go pay her a visit before I went home myself. I was close with all of my guardian partners but Stella and I had a different relationship, both being women of similar ages in this profession. We both worked as near guards on occasion, able to blend in with Lissa more easily than our bulkier, taller counterparts. I rested my head against Dimitri's arm, grateful to have him by my side.

As the proceedings progressed I found myself sagging more and more against Dimitri's side, exhaustion overtaking me. Jeff, Stella, the attack, my fear for Lissa, it was all too much to handle when I hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours. I started spacing out as other guardians told their version of events. Bed, that's all I wanted. My soft, warm bed with my tall, muscled Russian next to me. That desire was enough to distract me as I was sent off into daydreams of warm blankets and even warmer touches.

"Hathaway."

Dimitri shook me lightly and I tuned back in. Everyone was looking at me. Hans gave me an exasperated look that made it easy to deduce he'd called my name more than once.

"Ha—" my words cut off as my muddled brain tried to send slow signals to my mouth. I tried again. "Hans?"

"What's your account?" he asked without preamble. "Her Majesty said you had a 'feeling' before the attack. Care to explain what tipped you off?"

I tried to think back to the moment in time he was referring to but it was so long ago. A few hours? More like a few decades. Couldn't they let me sleep now?

"I don't know," I said slowly. My words tasted funny in my mouth. "It wasn't…wasn't something I saw or heard. It was something I _felt_."

"Nausea?" Dimitri asked, head bent down to look at my face. "That used to happen to you."

I shook my head. Or I think I did.

"No, that hasn't happened in years. It died with the bond. This was…" was what? I had no idea what it was. Nothing I'd recognized at least. "I don't know." I said at last.

Hans pinched the bridge of his nose in suppressed frustration. "Fine. We'll talk about that later. Now if you'd please…"

I didn't feel right. Suddenly the exhaustion I'd been registering took on a whole new level. It wasn't mealy exhaustion preventing me from lifting my arms, moving my head. I simply couldn't feel them. My brain wasn't registering any attachment to my body. I might have made some sort of noise but I don't know what it was.

Then everything went black.

* * *

Dimitri was taken by surprise when Rose dropped. She'd been leaning heavily on him but had been supporting most of her own weight up until that moment. When she suddenly dropped he could do nothing more than help ease her to the ground with an exclamation of alarm. Conversation ceased in the room as attention turned towards the fallen guardian. Lissa dropped to her knees on Roses other side with her own exclamation.

"What's wrong with her?" she demanded. "She said the blood wasn't hers!"

It wasn't.

Dimitri ran quick hands over his girlfriend's prone body and, seeing no life threatening outward signs of injury, gripped the torn hem of her once white blouse and yanked it up. Buttons went flying as they popped off their fastenings but Dimitri paid it no attention as the sight beneath it was revealed. A bit of blood had soaked through the starched material of her shirt but beneath the drying red smear the dark red-purple discoloration of internal hemorrhage stained Rose's abdomen from waistband to ribs.

There was a general outcry of astonishment among the gathered people.

Dimitri, tight lipped and tense, reached out one hand to smooth back Rose's hair from the gash on her forehead, the other resting on her waist. His heart pounded furiously in his chest as fear spiked within him. The injury looked bad. He'd seen blunt force trauma before, he'd seen internal bleeding. This was about as bad as it got.

"Lissa—" he began to say but there was no need. Lissa was already reaching out towards Rose, intent in her eyes. Rose was fairly adamant on Lissa using her healing abilities as little as possible, both in order to stave off the effects of spirit and to make a case that her healing wasn't to be used like common medicine. While she made exceptions for life threatening injuries she scolded Lissa if she tried to tend to her every cut and bruise. This injury, however, definitely fell under the 'life threatening' category.

Dimitri had seen Lissa heal before. Hell, he'd felt it when she Restored him. Still, it was something he'd never get used to. As he watched Lissa placed one hand below Rose's naval and the other just under her ribs and closed her eyes.

There was no outward sign of magic. The room was silent save for their collective breathing. Then, slowly, the discoloration beneath Rose's skin began to retract as if it were being reabsorbed by her body, which, Dimitri supposed it very well could be. He was not one hundred percent sure how Lissa's healing worked, Rose knew more about them than he did, and sometimes it seemed unreal. But the relief he felt as Rose's skin faded back to its normal almond-like hue was real and overpowering.

Dimitri let go of the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. Rose didn't wake up but her breathing seemed to even out and the rise and fall of her chest was comforting. He noticed that even the cut on her forehead had vanished, though the bright red smear of blood remained.

He shrugged out of his duster and laid it over his girlfriend, partially for modesty (though his more than hers, Rose didn't seem to care about flaunting her body) and partially because it was January and it was cold.

"I'll take her to the infirmary," Dimitri told the silent crowd. "Make sure she's alright once she wakes up." He looked up to Lissa. Christian had helped her to her feet; she looked pale but otherwise all right. She gave him a small smile. "Chris, take her to the feeders," he added.

He pulled Rose into his arms and struck out for the infirmary.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.**

* * *

4

Everything smelled like antiseptic, a smell that i'd come to hate over the years. Whatever I was laying on was theoretically soft but there was something sharp poking into my lower back. I recognized the feel of one of the infirmary cots.

I groaned.

"Roza," Dimitri's voice came from somewhere to my left. I felt warm fingers cover my own where they rested on my stomach. "Are you okay? Does something hurt?"

"I'm in the infirmary again," I groaned again. I cracked open my eyes and glared at the fluorescent light that flickered overhead. "I was doing so well too. It's been nearly two months since I was here!"

Dimitri's chuckle was half amusement, half relief.

"Yes. I'd prefer it if you beat that record next time."

I turned my head, careful to ease the stiff muscles in my neck. Dimitri was sitting on a small wooden chair beside my bed, tall frame somehow managing to look graceful as it was compressed. By the look of the stubble shadowing his chin he'd been here for a little while.

"I'm sorry I scared you, comrade."

He squeezed my hand briefly before leaning back in the chair once more. "I'm just glad you're alright."

"How's everyone else?" I asked, noting that the rest of the royal detail was absent from our surroundings.

"Fine. The rest of the guardians checked out with no major injuries and Lissa is catching up on sleep before the day starts."

I winced in sympathy. "I'm glad I won't have to deal with the fallout from the attack," I admitted. I liked my part in all of this. I handled the physical aspect, Lissa handled the political.

Dimitri nodded in agreement. "Your only job now is to rest. Get some more sleep, Rose."

"I don't want to," I whined. "At least, not here," I amended. "I want to go home and wash all this yuck off of me and then I want to climb into bed with you and stay there for a very long time." I gave him my best saucy look, probably not up to its usual caliber considering my current state of physical duress. Plus, the infirmary lights were not flattering for anyone.

"Rose," Dimitri said warningly, but a small smile was playing on the corner of his lips. Yes, he liked that idea very much, too. "You were injured very severely. You still need to recover."

"Oh come on!" I burst. "Lissa healed me." Obviously she had, there was no other explanation. I didn't know what 'injured very severely' constituted but whatever it had been it was over now. "I'm fine. Probably healthier now then I was yesterday and you weren't complaining then."

Nope, in fact, I remembered very clearly that he had been fully invested in yesterday's activities.

"We can discuss this in private," he said shortly, casting a cautious look around. Dimitri was by no means shy about our relationship; it was a well-known fact that we were pretty passionate if from nothing else then our personalities, but that didn't mean he broadcasted our personal lives everywhere. I could have argued the point that we were practically the only ones currently in the infirmary (aside from a patient on the far end of the room and a nurse walking into the back room) but he'd used the word 'private' and I hoped that would lead to my earlier suggestion.

"Okay," I agreed, "so lets go somewhere private."

Dimitri shook his head and stood up from his seat. He went off to find the doctor murmuring something unflattering in Russian.

The doctor came to evaluate me and twenty minutes later Dimitri and I were headed back towards the guardian apartments. When Lissa had first been crowned she'd offered us nicer accommodation within the townhouses that the royals stayed in, but we declined. We didn't need to be surrounded by the royals, many of who still looked down on us for our old student-mentor relationship, for the old accusation that I was the Queen-Killer, and Dimitri's status as ex-Strigoi. We were quite comfortable in our one bedroom apartment, surrounded by our colleagues.

A few minutes later we trudged over the threshold. I headed straight for the master bathroom, stripping torn and bloodstained clothes off as I went. A hot shower sounded like the best thing in the world to my tired body. Lissa may have healed me physically but mental exhaustion was a real thing too. I'd been passed out in the infirmary for a few hours but my mind and body suddenly craved more sleep.

I washed the battle—a combination of blood, sweat, fear and desperation—off my body, trying hard not to look at the pink tinged water that went down the drain, my last connection to Jeff and the terrible day.

Once I was sufficiently clean I let the hot rainfall of water cascade down over my back, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Dimitri's fingers suddenly traced the water droplets path down my naked back.

"Damn it, comrade," I moaned as he paused to knead the muscles of my lower back. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, reveling in the wonderful feeling of knots loosening and tension slipping away. "You scared me…mmm that feel's so good."

He continued to work the muscles of my back, digging in deep on the knot between my shoulders. I tipped my head back, letting the water fall on my face now as I rested my head against his shoulder. He dipped his head down and pressed his lips to the juncture of my neck and shoulders. I shivered as he trailed the kisses over my shoulder and then down my back.

"Ugh, Dimitri," I said as he placed a kiss in the small of my back. "Don't start something you don't intend to finish."

"Oh I intend to finish this," he assured me, running his hands all over my body now. I'd been with this man for nearly five years now and his touch still excited me as much as it had the first time.

"Why the change of heart?" I asked him, recalling our conversation in the infirmary. "Not that I'm complaining." I wasn't. In fact, I'd all but forgotten my desire for sleep. Now all I wanted was to get very physical with this man.

"A few reasons," he admitted. He sounded unruffled by our proximity but as he pressed closely against my back I could feel that he was anything but.

"Like?" I prompted. I turned around to face him and took up my own explorations of his body, trailing my hands over the hard muscles of his chest and stomach.

"Mmmm…well for one, I was terrified when you collapsed earlier. Seeing you covered in blood and all beat up, realizing that you had been so close to death and I wasn't there for you…" he trailed off with a groan as my explorations went lower. "It's our job but that doesn't make it easier."

"How did you find out about the attack?" I asked curiously. He backed me up against the shower wall. I shivered without the showers warmth but his body pressed against mine went a long way to warm me.

"Christian and I got back around six. I figured you'd come home as soon as you got back to Court and I was supposed to have a shift later so I went to bed." There was a pause in the conversation as our lips connected. A few moments later he pulled away and continued. "I woke up and you weren't there and you didn't answer your phone." My phone? When had I lost that? I'd have to look into getting a new one. "I went to see if Lissa was in her office. She wasn't but Chris was. He was looking for her. We were leaving when the guardians on duty got radioed about the attack."

I wasn't able to form a coherent response, not with what his hands were currently doing to my body.

Dimitri continued without prompting. "I didn't know you weren't with Lissa until she came into guardian headquarters hysterical and demanding that we send more guardians to help you. That you'd been hurt." I'd forgotten Lissa had seen me getting tossed around by the Strigoi. "I wanted to go rushing down to Lehigh to get you but by then we'd gotten the call that the Alchemists were on the scene for cleanup. You showed up less then an hour later."

"T-t-the o-other reas—oh! Reason?" I gasped out as Dimitri did something startling with his tongue.

"Other reason?" he asked, pulling away enough to shoot me a questioning look. I was putty in his hands, my own efforts to reciprocate pleasure seriously diminished by my incapability to get signals from my brain to my hands.

"Y-you said t-there w-were a few reasons for y-your change of heart," I reminded him.

"Hmm? Oh, yes." He straightened up long enough to press another kiss to my lips. "The other reason was the thought of you in here, naked and wet, without me," he said simply. Then he scooped me up into his arms and out of the shower, somehow managing to turn off the now cold tap in the process.

We didn't quite make it to the bedroom but the bathroom sink provided us with a workable space to finish what we'd— _he'd_ —started.

* * *

An hour later found us curled up in our bed, wrapped together in a tangle of sweaty limbs and shared breath. I rested my head comfortably on Dimitri's chest, lulled by the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the reassuringly steady beat of his heart.

As I've mentioned before, Dimitri and I have maintained a high level of passion in our relationship, but whenever one, or both, of us is in a particularly dangerous situation that passion gets amped up and we collide like two trains on the same track. My body ached in the pleasant aftermath of rigorous lovemaking and I found myself dreamily wondering if we might sneak in a third round before I exhausted myself too much.

Dimitri seemed to sense my contemplation because he reached out and traced a callused finger down my jawline.

"Sleep, love. We have plenty of time for the rest once you've rested a while."

"Will you be here when I wake up?" I asked, smothering a yawn and pressing closer to him.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Always."

* * *

"You know," I said, lazily tracing patterns onto Dimitri's chest the next morning. "Lissa, Christian and I are lucky. We found the people we love in high school." I had no idea where the thought came from or what made me say it. Maybe it was the overall relaxed atmosphere in the room, maybe I was being sappy. Whatever the cause it felt right to say it. "We didn't have to wait that long."

"I found you _in_ a high school," Dimitri said. "Does that count?"

I laughed. "Technically you found me in Portland, comrade, and brought me to high school." He chuckled lowly in his chest. We were silent for a few moments longer. "Have I ever thanked you for that?" I asked suddenly.

I felt Dimitri startle. " _Thank me_? For capturing you?"

"Yeah, think about it." I propped myself up on an elbow so I could look at him. "If you hadn't brought us back Lissa wouldn't be queen, Christian would've spiraled into antisocial anarchy, there'd be a lot more Strigoi lurking about, Moroi defensive magic wouldn't even be a thing, and Strogoi restorations wouldn't have come about. I would never have met you." That last one was perhaps the most important in my book. "Everything good that has happened…I mean, yeah," I finished lamely. "Don't get me wrong, it was a huge blow to my ego at the time but…" I trailed off, having said my piece.

He sighed and pulled me closer to him, pressing his lips to mine. "One of my greatest achievements," he chortled as we pulled apart. "Capturing two seventeen year old girls."

"Two highly resourceful and very stubborn seventeen year old girls," I said, just to make him feel better. We lulled into another silence, one that I was reluctant to break when the time came.

"I need to get up," I said regretfully.

He made a sound of protest. "Why?"

"I need to go check on Lissa," I said. "She healed me last night and I want to make sure she's okay. Also, I need to talk to her about the attack. Something about it isn't sitting right with me."

"Oh? Does this have to do with that feeling you had?"

"I don't know. Maybe? I'm not entirely sure but something about it doesn't feel right." I struggled for words. "If it had been a roving band of Strigoi…I mean it wouldn't be unheard of for them to hide in college towns but this…there were so many of them. I know they work together more often but _seven_? How did seven Strigoi manage to come across the Moroi queen just on luck?" I shook my head. "And the way they moved, divided their forces…it was too directed. Too planned. I think they knew we were there."

"How would they have known?" he demanded. "Do you think humans in the school are working with them? That they told them where Lissa was?"

I hesitated.

"I'm not sure about that but I think _someone_ told them."

* * *

Something had been bothering me about the attack since it happened but I hadn't been able to put my finger on what that was. Laying in bed with Dimitri that morning it had finally clicked. I had seen the way the Strigoi had attacked, watched them divide up and attack systematically. That was something that a random Strigoi attack never had. They had been told. Someone had to have known where we were last night and the only people that knew that were at Court. I had to talk to Lissa.

If one of the radicals was passing information along to Strigoi and attempting to use them as a tool for getting Lissa off the throne (which admittedly would be a much better plan then attacking her or Jill themselves. That usually ended in their death or imprisonment) then we had a serious problem. Who could we trust?

Until we had the Moroi radicals in custody she wouldn't be safe. She was in constant danger from an unseen enemy. The one good thing about Strigoi, and I found it hard to say that anything was good about them, was that you always knew they were the enemy. They look like the enemy, they acted like the enemy and there was no doubt that They. Were. The. Enemy. Moroi radicals were different. They looked like everyone else, acted like you friend and smiled to your face while they were stabbing you in the back. _Politics_ , I thought with scorn. _This is why I don't like politics_. But regardless, if my instincts were right politics had just crossed paths with my job and that was protecting Lissa at all costs.

I found Lissa in her apartment, getting ready for the day. Christian had already left and she was alone. She looked up upon my entry and her brow furrowed. "Rose," she said. "I'm confused. Are you happy or angry right now?"

"What?" I asked, taken off guard. "What kind of question is that?"

"Your aura," she said by way of explanation. "Your face is twisted up in your angry look but your aura is all lit up and happy."

"Oh," I said in understanding. I dropped down onto a nearby sofa. "A bit of both, I guess." I flushed a little. "I had a very good night. And morning. But something about the attack is bothering me and I don't think you're going to like it."

With that I launched into my theory of what had happened with the attack and by the end she looked properly appalled.

"Do you really think that the radicals are working with the Strigoi that way?" She'd dropped into an chair half-way through my theory and she now clutched the arms in a vice grip.

"Working with them might be a heavy word," I admitted. "But I wouldn't put it past them to tell someone where you were, which could've ultimately led to the attack. I think we need to be more careful about who we tell when you leave Court."

"But how can we keep it contained?" she asked. "Guardians, advisors, anyone who manages to see me when I leave, there's no way of keeping a cap on that."

She was right.

"Then we need to try and keep details vague. People might know you're off the grounds but we need to try and keep details under wraps. The times, the routs we're taking, where we're staying."

Lissa sighed, disappointment flashing on her face. "Do they really hate me that much?" she asked. "That they're willing to work with _Strigoi?"_

"Like I said, I don't think they're working with them, per se. Just using them as a means to an end. And I really don't know what they're capable of. Look at what happened with Jill." The incident with Jill was still a sore spot three years after the fact. "A lot of people don't like change. We can't help that. You're doing what's best for the majority so don't let this stop you. Leave the worrying up to me. Its my job."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

5

For the next month life went pretty smoothly. We had a small funeral for Jeff in the church a few days after the attack. I'd informed Hans of my suspicions and, while he wasn't overly convinced, he'd allowed me to proceed with caution as long as my methods didn't overtly put Lissa at risk. I'd also informed my team of my uncertainties and, along with Dimitri and Christian, they were the only people I trusted unconditionally.

Meanwhile, Dimitri was filling in Jeff's position on Lissa's guard until Hans appointed a new guardian permanently. It wasn't ideal but I did enjoy the amount of time we got to spend together even if the only reason Lissa left the wards over those few weeks was for school.

One night in early February Dimitri and I had just crawled into bed after a long day at Lehigh and a following patrol when my phone rang.

"Nooooo," I groaned into Dimitri's side, wishing that the ringing would stop. It didn't and Dimitri sighed.

"You might as well get it," he said, pulling a pillow over his head.

I muttered a string of dirty words and groped for the phone on the nightstand.

"What?" I snapped once I'd managed to bring it to my ear.

"Rose!" Lissa practically burst. I hadn't even looked at the caller ID.

"What, Liss?" I asked wearily.

"You and Dimitri need pack right now," she said without preamble.

My eyes flew wide. "Excuse me? Why? I _just_ got into bed." Dimitri made a noise of inquiry from under the pillow but I ignored him. "Where are we going?" I demanded.

"Saint Vlad's," she answered promptly. In the background I could hear the _zipp_ of a suitcase as she threw it open and started to pack.

"Why?" That was a shocking and unexpected answer. "I kind of swore I'd never go back there." True enough. With all of the bad memories that haunted that campus I'd been all too eager to avoid it. I hadn't been back since graduation.

"Kirova called me a few minutes ago. She asked us to come."

"Stop trying to build suspense," I sighed, rolling back over onto my back and rubbing the sleep from my face with my free hand. "I am appropriately curious. Why does she want us there?"

I could practically hear the smile in Lissa's voice. "Mrs. Carmack found another spirit user."

" _What?!"_ I shrieked as I sat up straight in bed. Dimitri jumped in reflex, landing with catlike grace on the ground beside the bed. He gave me a dirty look for startling him but I ignored it. "When? How? Is she sure?"

"Just now! He's showing symptoms. They're pretty sure but they want me there to confirm. He's a sophomore. Apparently he's been complaining about weird lights for a while— _auras!_ —but nobody believed him because he's been known to take pills. So, he was in detention today—for the pills—and was helping clean out the old greenhouse before spring. And he brought one of the plants back!"

"Holy shit!" I gasped. We hadn't found any spirit users through any academies yet. The last time we had found one it had been a Moroi girl who Restored her dhampir half sister and things hadn't exactly ended well there. She'd gone insane from the side effects and we hadn't found any other spirit users since.

Dimitri had given up on getting answers from me but was moving around the room, throwing clothes into an overnight bag. He may not know the details but he'd gotten the gist of the conversation.

"I know! Get dressed. We're meeting at the jet in twenty."

* * *

I wasn't surprised to see Sonya waiting on the jet. She'd been as fully invested in the search for spirit users as Lissa had been, even more so considering her failed attempts at creating an anti-Strigoi vaccination a few years back. She'd successfully inoculated one of Jill's guardians, Neil, against becoming Strigoi but without any new spirit users popping up or Restorations happening she hadn't had the proper material to work with and the project had been sidelined. I was a bit surprised by the lack of her usual entourage though.

"Where's your better half?" I asked her as we filed onto the plane. "And Mandy?"

Like Dimitri, Sonya hadn't aged very much over the past few years. Those who were Restored seemed to have a slower aging process. It made me wonder if one day I might look older than Dimitri. I didn't really think so. He still aged, it was just slow at first. Lately it had seemed to almost normalize. Sonya was the same way. She looked almost exactly like she had seven years ago when she'd been my teacher at St. Vlad's.

She gave me a sweet smile. "Mikhail is staying here with Mandy. I'll be busy over the next few days. He said it'd be good father-daughter bonding time." Mandy, her two-year old daughter, was another reason her work with spirit had been tabled.

I nodded in agreement. "That man melts around her," I snickered.

"Children can do that to any man, Roza," Dimitri assured me as he took up a seat on the couch across from Sonya. I felt a funny tightening in my chest at his words. That was the one sore spot in our relationship, one that we usually avoided. I did my best to push past it now as I curled up next to him. The jet we were on was even nicer than the old academy ones. This was for Lissa's private use; couches and large chairs took up the front half of the plane. The back half had plush rows of chairs. The rest of my team set up back there while Lissa and Christian joined Sonya on the other sofa.

We were in the air fifteen minutes later and Lissa spent the next few minutes catching everyone up on her conversation with Kirova.

"His name is James Wakefield," she said at last. "No royal connections that I know of. Kirova said that he has a history of using prescription meds. He's been caught more than once over the last year. They assumed he'd just cracked under the normal pressures of high school but I'm not so sure." She shifted slightly, unconsciously touching the long faded scars on her wrists, a reminder of her own struggles back at in the beginning of it all. "What if he started self-medicating to try and reduce the signs of spirit?"

"It's a good thought," Sonya agreed, ever the more critical of the two. Lissa tended to feel things while Sonya tended to analyze them. "Classic symptoms. Not that we can assume that any and every addict or person with mental illness is a spirit user. But James definitely seems to fit the bill."

Despite their differing approaches to the subject, both Lissa and Sonya had experienced mental illness associated with spirit. I knew that if anyone could help this James kid make sense of his life it was them. Adrian Ivashkov would have been another good choice, perhaps a better one considering he was both a man and a previous addict. He was out of the question though. He was currently in California with Jill and his wife Sydney doing God knows what with her crazy witchy magic. Also, he'd spent the past three years on mood stabilizers. He was much happier without the mood swings but he was completely cut off from spirit. He might be able to show this James kid an alternative future for himself but he couldn't show him how to use spirit like Lissa and Sonya could.

"Who knows about him?" Christian asked. "Spirit isn't exactly a secret anymore but I'm sure that Kirova doesn't want the whole school knowing. Next thing you know some crazy novices would take him Strigoi hunting." He shot a pointed look at me and I felt a bit insulted. I'd never taken Lissa Strigoi hunting! Never considered that. The more physical elements were the ones I advocated for and the look I gave Christian let him know that.

Oblivious to us, Lissa answered. "Nobody as far as I know. Just Kirova, Mrs. Carmack and Dr. Olendzki. Oh, and Alberta." I didn't ask why Alberta knew. She was a force to be reckoned with at St. Vlad's. I was pretty sure that nothing happened on campus that she wasn't aware of. Plus, with the queen coming to campus I was sure Alberta would need to know.

I looked around at our group and couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Lissa asked, confused by my sudden outburst.

"This," I said gesturing around. "Us. All of St. Vlad's biggest troublemakers are headed home. Kirova's going to have a shit fit."

"Rose," Lissa admonished me, though she was smiling. "Be nice."

"I am. Maybe this visit won't be quite as bad as I'd thought."

* * *

It was lunchtime at St. Vladimir's when we arrived. Alberta was personally waiting for us when we debarked the plane. She looked very much the same as when I'd last seen her, pixie cut and stoic expression. However, half of her face was molted purple, green and yellow.

"Field experience?" I asked as I strode forward to embrace her.

She laughed and clapped me on the back in return. "Yes," she agreed. "We're a month in."

"Wish I could say that those were fun times," I said. "Hey Sparky," I called over my shoulder to where he'd just exited the plane with Lissa. "I could make a pallet on your bedroom floor tonight, just for old times sake."

"You know Rose, the field experience was probably one of the only times we ever got along," he drawled dryly.

Alberta and Dimitri were shaking their heads. I distinctly heard her say "something's never change" before she turned to address Lissa.

She bowed. "Your Majesty."

"Hello Guardian Petrov," Lissa greeted her cheerfully. "It's good to see you again."

"It is," she agreed. "We are truly hopeful that you can help young Wakefield. He's..." Alberta hesitated momentarily "troubled."

Lissa nodded. "I hope we can help."

"We?" Alberta started to ask just as Sonya appeared at the plane's exit. Alberta's eyes widened slightly despite her stoic countenance. The last time she'd seen Sonya Tanner nee Karp she'd been about to turn Strigoi. She'd had no such reaction to Dimitri who stood at my side. She'd never actually seen him as anything other than a dhampir. "Sonya," she said, regaining her control. "Nice to see you looking well."

Sonya came to stand between Lissa and me, looking sheepish. "You too, Alberta. Hopefully we can help this boy before he makes a decision like I did."

That declaration seemed to shift the atmosphere from cordial greeting to business. With bags in hand we were escorted to the guest quarters on campus. The last time I'd been in the building we had been celebrating Lissa and my graduation in Adrian's old room. It felt a bit strange not to be heading across campus to the dorms.

Alberta left us to get settled, informing Lissa that Kirova would be ready to talk to her whenever she was ready. Me, Dimitri and the team were to go to the guardian building once everything was settled to join the work rosters for the duration of our stay.

"You go with Lissa and Sonya," Dimitri told me as we settled into our room. "I'll get our assignments."

"Are you sure?" I asked, though I had no desire to deal with any paperwork. I was incredibly curious about the new spirit user and wanted to be at the meeting. I'd been just as invested in tracking down spirit users as Lissa and Sonya had been. Dimitri knew it too.

"Yes," he said. "I'll meet you later." Just as Tatiana had when I'd been a student here, Lissa was going to greet the student body while she was here. This was her chance to reach out to the upcoming guardians and important royals on campus. It was expected of her but I also knew she liked to greet her people and be involved with as many of them as possible.

I kissed Dimitri goodbye and went to get Lissa. Though she was safe on campus she would always be accompanied by one or more of her guardians. Not that I thought anything would happen but there was no telling if one of the students had a parent who was a Moroi radical. Between Christian and myself though there would be no trouble.

We were fortunate enough to make the trip across campus during class time. Aside from guardians and the occasional student running errands the campus was deserted.

Kirova greeted Lissa formally and sent one of her office aids to fetch Mrs. Carmack.

"We didn't expect you to come so soon," Kirova said once everyone was settled. I stood by the door, the picture of a proper guardian. I saw Kirova hide a small smile as she looked away. Yeah, she'd never truly thought I'd make it here.

"Well I'm sure you understand the enormity of the situation," Lissa said. She was the picture of queenly poise. "We've been waiting for this to happen for some time."

Kirova inclined her head. "While we're fairly certain that Mr. Wakefield is a spirit user the only true way of validating that is, of course, to have you examine him."

"We would love to meet him," Sonya said heartedly.

"Then let's get this arranged."

* * *

"Alberta wants us to help the instructors," Dimitri told me as we were getting dressed. I'd returned from Lissa's meeting with Kirova an hour ago to find the room empty. I'd taken the time to shower and wake myself up a bit before changing into my guardian attire. Dimitri returned only fifteen minutes before we were supposed to lead Lissa through the student body, having spent our time apart talking to Alberta. Part of me was curious to hear if Alberta had had anything to say about our relationship. She'd known about our feelings for each other—something she'd revealed to me upon my return to the academy after failing to kill him. She'd said nothing else but I still wondered what her views were on the topic. Was she angry with Dimitri for supposedly abusing his position as my mentor? Was she happy for us because we'd found love? Was I thinking too highly of our infamy and Alberta honestly didn't care? Whatever the answer Dimitri didn't bring it up. They'd been discussing work, of course, and everything we'd been through since last seeing each other. They'd also discussed what we'd be doing while on campus.

"Help the instructors?" I repeated. "How?"

"With the field experience," he answered, buttoning up his white dress shirt. I watched him carefully, disappointed in the loss of such a wonderful view. He caught my eye and smirked.

"Field experience," I said, slowly processing what he'd said. "As in, attack the students? Play Strigoi?"

"Yes," he answered simply. Was that such a good idea, considering Dimitri's past experiences? I saw something flicker in his eyes that said that he might not be as caviler about it as he was pretending to be. "The students have gotten used to their instructors fighting styles. Alberta thinks it might be good to mix things up a bit. Besides, I'm pretty sure she finds the idea entertaining."

Yeah, to watch novices freak out when they realize that they were being fake attacked by an ex-Strigoi/badass guardian. I had to admit, I was kind of eager to see their faces too. The circumstances that had built my reputation might have been out of my hands but I did enjoy some of the attention it got me. I liked actually being as badass as I felt.

"Well," I said at last. "This could be fun."

"That's not all," Dimitri said as he slipped on his blazer and began to brush his hair back. I stepped up behind him and secured it at the base of his neck. He dropped a kiss onto my lips before continuing. "She also asked if we'd speak to one of the novice classes. Juniors, because the seniors are in the field experience."

I thought back to those rare days in Stan's class when visiting guardians would share their experiences. Those were always the highlight of my day. And I had plenty of experiences to share.

* * *

Lissa was an amazing queen. She had a commanding presence and natural charisma that wasn't solely due to spirits influence. People stared at me and Dimitri; they whispered about us and looked up to (or down on) us all because of our reputation. Not Lissa. People idolized her, not because of what she was (a queen) but because of who she was—a great person. She was patient, eager to listen, and willing to contribute.

As she made her way through dining hall, overflowing with guardians, teachers and students, she paused to speak to many of them. Novices, royals and non-royals alike. When she finally made it to the front of the room she turned to look at the crowd.

"It's been a few years since I've been in this room," she said. She didn't work to raise her voice but it could be heard around the room as everyone watched her avidly. "A lot has happened in my life these past few years but I haven't forgotten what it felt like to sit among my peers. This academy felt like the world. Sometimes it was easy to forget that there actually _is_ a world beyond these wards. Here where days are spent spreading gossip and being the victim of it, where crushes and break ups are earth-shattering, where homework is the worst thing in the world." She gave them a wry smile. "Don't get me wrong. Those things are important. Here at this academy it is your job to be young, to be students. But one day your time here will end and you'll have to go out into the real world.

"I look around this room and see potential. I see royal Moroi who will one day represent their families on the council, who will help govern and make decisions for our people. I see non-royals who make up the majority of us, whose interests we look after, whose faith allows us to make decisions for them.

"And I see novices who will one day hold our lives in their hands—and we will freely entrust you with them. Our society wouldn't exist without your dedication and sacrifice. I know that your life is a hard one, many of you will die young. I wish that it wasn't this way. And it might not always be. Our world is changing. We are remembering the old ways _and_ embracing the future. Moroi offensive magic is real and it is promising. We still have a long way to go before such programs are in every academy but you all will see change in your life time. You all will be a _part_ of that change. It makes me so very humble and proud to stand here before you."

All eyes were locked on Lissa. I saw outright awe on some faces, bashful pleasure and pride on others. Excitement. This is what it meant to be queen; to instill pride and hope among the people, to inspire change. Some people might not agree with Lissa's political views and her claim to the throne but here, in this room, there was no doubt that she was queen.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

6

James Wakefield was a tall, gawky sixteen-year-old Moroi. He had dark bruises under his eyes that looked permanent and a quiet, troubled personality. He actually reminded me a little of Christian when we'd been at St. Vlad's.

Lissa and Sonya had spent the better part of the past three days with him. They'd taken one look at him the first day and confirmed Kriova and Mrs. Carmack's suspicions.

"His aura is so bright!" Lissa had exclaimed upon seeing him. James had gaped at them too, not because of who they were, the queen and ex-Strigoi, but because he'd seen their auras too. He'd heard of spirit before, almost everyone in our society had by this point, but it took some convincing for him to accept that he'd specialized in it.

I knew about the hardships of spirit from my experiences in Lissa's head while she struggled with it. I sympathized for the boy. Being told you were a spirit user was as much of a blessing as it was a curse.

I'd spent a little time with them, pitching in with the off-handed comment or two, and warnings about being shadow-kissed, but for the most part I participated in the activities Alberta had assigned to me.

Dimitri and I participated in the field experience, taking on half a dozen novices as they followed their Moroi around on their Saturday routine. It had been fun though not much competition. It wasn't truly fair to have us fight the novices, Dimitri and I were in a different caliber altogether, but Alberta insisted that it gave them a good feel for unequal pairings in fights. I'd been taken down only once, when I'd been teamed up on by three different novices. It had been pretty fun, despite the large bruise on my jaw.

I didn't think Dimitri felt the same.

We spent our time off on Sunday together, wandering through the grounds visiting our old haunts while I bolstered his spirit with reminders that the past was the past and he was no longer like the Strigoi we were playing and by the time Monday came along with our promise to Alberta to speak to the class, he was in much higher spirits.

I walked into Bodyguard Theory a few minutes before the bell rang, casting a curious look around the room. It was completely full, the seats filled by novices (there would be no playing hookie or faked illnesses on a day like today), and the back wall lined with campus guardians, including Alberta. But no Stan.

I voiced my observation to Dimitri.

He chuckled. "Stan isn't assigned here anymore. He guards a Lazar lord somewhere in Canada now."

"Really?" I asked, impressed. I'd never thought of Stan being anywhere other than the academy. Dimitri seemed to know what I was thinking.

"The academy is a temporary stop for many guardians, unless they have a particular gift in teaching. Many are placed here for a year or so to pitch in, offer new faces, and then are sent off to guard someone."

"Huh. Never thought I'd say this, but good for old Stan."

The new instructor, a dhampir in his forties, welcomed us and called the class to order.

"Everyone," he called in a no-nonsense voice. "We have some guests here with us today. Guardian Belikov and Guardian Hathaway have been nice enough to donate their time and tell us of some of their experiences. Do behave." Nobody in the class even looked like they were contemplating otherwise.

I stepped forward, always the more social when it came to Dimitri and myself, and spoke.

"I used to love days like this when I was here," I said. I walked to stand beside a boy with dirty blond hair that stuck up at odd angles. "I used to sit in this desk," I tapped the desk in front of him. He looked up at me with appreciative eyes. I was used to that type of attention. "and annoy the shit out of Guardian Alto." A rumble of giggles passed over the class. I moved away from the desk and continued down the row. "We'd sit in this class and talk theory. We'd propose different situations and come up with action plans. We were so precise in how we'd approach a situation. Unfortunately, it's never like that in the real world." I moved down the row and back towards the front of the room. I felt all eyes on me.

"Theory is important, and I swear if Guardian Alto could hear me say that he'd probably piss himself." More laughter. "But all that theory goes right out the door—and out of your mind—when a Strigoi comes at you."

I began to tell them about the attack on Lissa last month and how, no matter what we did to prepare, it wasn't enough. I felt the phantom pains from being thrown against the wall and Lissa's subsequent healing.

"We got the queen out safely," I finished, "but we lost one hell of a guy in the process." I sighed and, having completed my circuit of the room, turned back to face the crowd. "Strigoi numbers have been increasing over the past few years. We all know it but we don't know why. Maybe they've become reckless. Maybe they want to be seen. Maybe there are more of them. Whatever the reason it has become increasingly common for them to work in groups and believe me when I say that it's an efficient strategy. We need to be prepared for all situations. One or two guardians aren't enough anymore. _Ten_ weren't enough. There is no safety in numbers."

I stepped back against the board and Dimitri stepped forward. The three girls in the class watched him with dreamy eyes. I wondered if I'd looked at him that way when we were here.

"I could stand here and tell you about my Strigoi kills," he said quietly. "I could tell you about every single fight I've been in." The class looked eager. "But I'm not going to." Disappointment took over. "I have been in many fights. I have killed many Strigoi. I have also killed many humans, dhampirs and Moroi." The classroom was absolutely silent. I watched Dimitri's back closely. His shoulders were tense, the only outward sign of how much it pained him to say that. "I am sure you all know what I was." Heads bobbed in recognition. "I lived with Strigoi. I hunted with Strigoi, _I. Was. Strigoi_." I couldn't see his face but the hard tone made it easy to imagine what it looked like. I remembered what it was like when he was Strigoi. I remembered the hard, flat eyes ringed in red, the cold, emotionless mask that he wore. Those memories still gave me nightmares. If his face looked anything like that now I could understand why the novices looked scared. In the back of the room the guardians shifted slightly. I saw one mans hand flex reflexively towards the silver stake at his side.

"Given the circumstances," Dimitri continued, "I think I'm one of the better authorities on Strigoi behavior. They are dead inside. You all sit here before me and don't realize the most precious thing you have in your possession: your souls. It's that spark of life inside you, the part of you that recognizes the beauty of a sunrise, the joy of love. Once its gone, you are hollow. Strigoi have no souls. There is no beauty in life, no joy. Only power. They will kill whoever and whatever it takes to get that power. I would have killed Rose," he said, gesturing back to me. "I tried to kill her, many times. The worst part of that entire experience is that, locked away deep inside your mind, is the remnants of what you once were. It was as if I watched someone control my body, epitomizing the things I hate most in the world. I will carry the emotional scars of that with me for the rest of my life." He didn't say anything after that and I recognized his posture. I stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"We guardians—and novices—aren't ignorant. We all know that any moment on this job could be our last. And we do it anyway. We do it because it's the right thing to do. We do it because someone has to. Most importantly, we do it because Strigoi need to be stopped. The best advice I've ever gotten for this job," I said quietly. "Is 'don't hesitate'." Dimitri shot me a small smile and I returned it. "The Strigoi you face…you might know them. They might have been your friend, your family, your lover. But they aren't anymore. If you hesitate, they will kill you. Kill them first."

"And," Dimitri added, "if they hold that shred of their former selves within them, they will be grateful."

* * *

The plane ride back to Court was relaxed. Lissa and Sonya were discussing what they planned to do when James came to stay at Court over the summer. I heard words like 'fine tuned', 'focus', and 'control' and decided I felt bad for James and the utterly boring summer he had ahead of him. Christian spoke with Dimitri, telling him about what he'd accomplished at the academy. Apparently he hadn't faded out of existence when I didn't see him like I'd originally thought. Instead he'd been lecturing in Mrs. Carmack's classes about the uses of offensive magic and trying to gather a big enough following to warrant St. Vladimir's being the next academy his training program moved to. He and Dimitri started rattling off different ideas for instructors and lesson plans while I leaned into Dimitri's side and dozed. I was exhausted after such a long trip. As I dozed, images of perhaps the most enjoyable part of our trip floated through my mind.

 _The cabin looked the same as it had four years ago right down to the sagging roof. I eyed it cautiously as Dimitri and I walked past it. We'd decided to go for a walk around campus to escape the staring for a while. We'd participated in field experience the day before and, while I'd found it somewhat fun I didn't think Dimitri felt the same._

 _I knew that playing Strigoi had brought back memories of his time as an actual Strigoi. He hadn't faltered in his movements during the field experience but last night he'd been particularly restless in his dreams or, as I suspected, nightmares._

 _We'd nearly passed the cabin when Dimitri pulled us to a halt._

" _What's wrong?" I asked, having an odd moment of deja vu. I cast a weary glance at the dark line of trees, almost expecting a Strigoi to lunge out. None did and instead Dimitri tugged me towards the cabin._

 _It looked exactly the same inside too, small cot neatly made and covered in a light coat of dust. Everything was dusty._

" _I don't think anyone's been in here since us," I whispered, as if speaking loudly would disturb the flood of memories suddenly rushing into my mind._

 _Desperate kisses, loving touches, the removal of clothing and the coming together of bodies. It had been magical and despite the events that followed, it was one of my best memories._

 _Dimitri pulled me into the circle of his arms._

" _Why are we here?" I asked between kisses._

" _I just want to hold you," he said. "To be reminded of what's real."_

 _I'd known the dreams had gotten to him but I hadn't realized how badly. I pulled him closer. We were both a bit broken, him by his time as a Strigoi and the struggle to forgive himself, and me from watching him go through it and the toll it had taken on my emotions. But we were good for each other, reining in the pieces and rebuilding them bit-by-bit._

 _He took me to the bed and dust went flying as we collapsed onto it. I giggled between kisses as he quickly stripped me and then himself. We didn't talk much but our touches went a long way to communicate how we felt and to remind each other of what was real. As we lay together later, curled close for warmth, I said "I love you. That will always be real."_

"Roza," Dimitri shook me lightly. "Wake up, love. We're back."

I moaned and opened my eyes. Everyone else had debarked the plane. Outside the window I could see the graying sky and knew I'd have to be in a car and on the way to Lehigh soon. _Back to reality_ , I thought with an internal sigh.

Dimitri extended a hand down to me and I took it, allowing him to pull me off of the couch and into his arms. He kissed me sweetly before releasing me and leading me towards the front of the plane.

 _Yes_ , I thought as I followed him, _I'll always love him_.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

7

"Dimitri I'm getting fat!" I complained from my location in the bathroom.

"You are absolutely not fat, Rose," he said, voice floating through the open door. He was already in bed waiting for me.

"Oh yes I am!" I darted out into the bedroom in my bra and panties. "Look at this!" I pointed accusingly at the red indentations of button and waistband that were on my lower stomach. "I've had that uniform for two years! It used to fit perfectly. Now look." I pouted.

It was mid-March, we'd been back from St. Vlad's for three weeks, and I'd barely had time to see Dimitri. Lissa had been assigned a guardian to replace Jeff so Dimitri was back to guarding Christian full-time. They'd been traveling back and forth between Alder Academy and Court as of late, trying to lock down details for the pilot magic program they were starting there. They'd be leaving later this month for a two week stay as the classes officially started up. While they'd been doing that I'd been guarding Lissa and taking shifts here at Court. Apparently that wasn't enough activity for my ever-eternal love of donuts.

Dimitri had gotten up by now and came to my side. He wrapped an arm around my waist and dragged me towards the bed.

"You've been working with the Moroi magic users several times a week. That's a lot of training. The pants must have shrunk."

I appreciated the effort but I didn't think that was true.

"We're starting to train again," I told him definitively as we slipped into bed.

"We haven't stopped," he pointed out.

"Not enough. We're getting lazy, comrade," I poked playfully at his side. He slept only in pajama pants and his abdomen was as rock solid as ever, defined muscles exposed in their drool-worthy glory. I thought again about the small marks at the waistline of my pants and scowled. "Starting in the morning. We'll run, like the old days."

Dimitri laughed. "If someone had told me back at the academy that Rose Hathaway would ask _me_ to go running I would have thought they were crazy."

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes and snuggled closer to him. "You were always saying it built endurance. Besides, we used to have a lot of fun at our training sessions."

Dimitri looked down at me with a deadpan look. "Those lessons were torture."

"Only because you wanted to touch me and weren't allowed to. Unless you were hitting me." I added that last bit as an afterthought.

He nodded solely. "It was definitely a test of my restraint."

In one smooth motion I'd shifted from his side and was straddling him. "It's a good thing you can touch me now." I think we were both aware of another situation at the academy where I'd been straddling him like this (admittedly with more clothes on) and he hadn't been able to touch me. He had no such reservations tonight and I quickly found myself forgetting about my body issues.

* * *

"Do you ever sleep, Rose?" Lissa asked me the next day. She'd caught me mid-yawn as she exited one of her boring meetings to where I'd been standing guard in the empty hallway. Technically I was allowed inside but I didn't feel like listening to whatever blather was going on in there.

I thought about her question. I had busy days between practices with Christian, shifts on Court grounds and my time with her. Dimitri and I had also started up our runs and workouts this morning. And last night we had definitely _not_ been sleeping.

"No," I answered honestly, "I really don't."

"Well you should start," she said. I walked beside her as we moved from the council room where her meeting had been towards her apartment. She was finished for the day. "You look so tired lately."

"Oh thanks," I mumbled. First fat, now tired. What was it? Turn twenty-three and suddenly your body starts showing wear-and-tear? My birthday was next week and I had been looking forward to it—and my friends coming in to visit—until that thought occurred to me.

"Woah," Lissa laughed. "You're aura just darkened. I didn't mean to put you in a bad mood. I'm sorry."

I waved off the apology. "You're fine. I just have a lot on my plate."

"I can talk to Hans," she offered. "Have him take you off the Court rotations."

I was already shaking my head. "No," I objected. "All the guardians here take turns. I'm fine."

"Well then…how about you take some time off guarding me? And before you say anything—" she cut me off as I opened my mouth to protest. "I just mean here at Court. When we're outside the wards of course you'll be there. But its silly to have you following me around inside the wards."

"Oh yeah because you're so safe here. Just like Jill was." I glared at her and she winced, whether from that or the reminder of the Jill incident I didn't know. The quorum law had since been repealed but neither of us could forget the tension that had surrounded us while it was in place. I lowered my voice and continued. "I still don't think you're safe here," I said. "Remember, someone tipped off the Strigoi in January."

"So you say," she agreed. "But that's just conjecture. I think that with everything that's happened in the past, you see conspiracy everywhere."

"That's because there is!" I objected, hurt at the accusation in her voice. How could she seriously not see it? "It follows us everywhere! You said so yourself. Between things at the academy and things with Tasha," another wince, "we're always caught up in the middle of it all. And with you being queen anything is possible."

"Fair point," she conceded. "But not everything has to be. Those Strigoi probably got lucky. That was two months ago, Rose, and we haven't seen anything since."

She was right. We'd gone to Lehigh twice a week since that had happened and hadn't seen hide-nor-hair of a Strigoi. I liked to think it was because of my initiative of keeping our movements secret. Lissa apparently thought it was because that was a one-off event.

"We'll have to agree to disagree on this one," I said at last.

I could tell that Lissa was still worried. The bond may be gone but I'd gotten really good at reading her emotions without it. She didn't like how hard I was working, though I could argue that she was working just as hard, if not harder, than me. I appreciated her concern.

"Thanks for worrying about me," I said to her as we finally got to her apartment. I held the door open for her and she went in. I missed the days where we could just hang out and be Rose and Lissa, not guardian and charge. It was what I'd always wanted but never in all my years of dreaming as a novice did I think my charge would be queen. It sort of changed my time off and social interactions with her. We'd always pictured getting a house in the human world and living the daylight hours as roommates with me on guard at night. That was how many guardian-Moroi relationships worked out. At Court, though, she was always working, always seen as the queen. And I was always in the background, her shadow.

Lissa seemed to be thinking along the same line as me. She dropped onto the couch—somehow making it look graceful as she did—and patted the spot beside her.

"Come sit," she said. "Christian and Dimitri won't be home for a few hours. Let's relax. Talk."

I obeyed, dropping into the spot beside her—much less gracefully. I smothered another yawn.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"I don't know. We see each other every day. We talk all the time. But…" she shrugged helplessly and even looked a little guilty. "I still don't feel like I really know what's going on in your life."

I knew what she meant. We always talked about work and school: what needed to get done, where did we have to go, who did we have to worry about. On and on the list went. But when was the last time we had girl talk?

"Work is life," I admitted with another yawn.

"Not all of it. How's Dimitri?"

"You know how he is. He spent three weeks on your guardian detail." She disappeared off the couch and went to the kitchen. I could hear her bustling about in search of snacks and the satisfying sound of a fresh bag of chips being opened. She came back moments later, chips in hand.

"I saw him," she agreed. "I saw that he looked healthy and that the two of you looked happy with each other. But those are observations. I want to hear it from you."

And so we passed the evening talking about our personal lives. I told her about Dimitri and my trip to the cabin at St. Vlad's (I'd long ago confessed to our initial experience there) and about our relationship. It was going strong; we were madly, disgustingly in love, yadda yadda. Lissa likewise told me about her and Christian and how well they were doing. I was glad to hear it. Despite my immediate relief of not being dragged into her heated moments with Christian, I missed the bond when it came to checking in on her. After she became queen it had been a bit of a struggle for her relationship with Christian. They were still rediscovering themselves as a couple after the incident with Avery when I'd been in Russia and there had been moments were I'd been concerned that they wouldn't work. Not because they didn't love each other, that was obvious to anyone with eyes, but because of how busy Lissa was and how the public judged Christian for what his parents and aunt had done. Things had gotten much better after Christian had started planning his Moroi magic initiatives.

"So when's the wedding?" I teased her after she got over a long monologue about how sweet Christian was and how much she loved him. She wanted to plan a romantic getaway but didn't think that would go over well. I kind of had to agree.

Lissa blushed. "I don't think we're to that point. Yet." I respected that decision. I liked Christian well enough now and didn't want to have to worry about breaking in a new guy for Lissa should something ever happen to that relationship. Plus, my relationship with Dimitri was tied to their relationship. If Christian ever moved anywhere else… but that wouldn't happen. Both Lissa and I knew that they'd get married in the near enough future, though. The public was currently mollified about her marital status because of her age and the repeal of the quorum. But soon enough the voices of the traditionalists would get loud enough about her sharing a bed with a man she wasn't married to and the need to further the Dragomir line. I was giving it until she turned twenty-five. Hopefully three years was enough for her.

"What about you and Dimitri?" Lissa asked, pulling me out of my inner thoughts.

"What about us?" I'd already caught her up to date on my love life.

"You two are madly in love," she pointed out. "When are you getting married?"

It was my turn to blush. I shrugged. "Guardian's don't really do that."

"They can, though. And you two should."

It wasn't like I hadn't thought about it before…besides, Dimitri and I had once had a very frank discussion about that. I told him I wanted to wait until I was older. I was happy with him but I was also happy being young and unmarried.

"I don't know that I'm ready for that yet," I said at last.

"But Dimitri is. He's almost thirty," she pointed out when she saw my surprised look. "He's always been a family man. I'm sure he wants to get married."

Guilt came rushing forward. "He is. He does."

A family man. He was in every sense of the word. He loved his mother and grandmother and sisters. He doted on his nephew and nieces. He wanted to marry me.

And he wanted children. I'd give in one day—probably sooner than later—about the marriage thing. But children…well that wasn't something I could give in on. It simply couldn't happen. I always felt guilty about it when it came up. I couldn't give Dimitri the one thing he wanted most. Something that a woman was supposed to be able to give the man she loved. Something Tasha had been willing to. And that really, _really_ hurt me.

"What did I say wrong?" Lissa asked softly. "Your aura just got all dark again. I'm sorry if I upset you."

"No, you didn't," I lied. After all, it wasn't something she said directly. "It's just…I can't help but think about the things Dimitri has to give up for this relationship."

Her eyebrows rose. "Like what?"

"Like being your guardian, jeopardizing his professional reputation, being judged by our entire society, having a girly girlfriend who cooks and cleans for him…a family."

"Has he ever complained?" Lissa asked.

"Well…no of course not," I admitted, fidgeting uncomfortably with the un-tucked hem of my blouse.

"Then what makes you think he's sacrificing anything? Maybe he doesn't see it that way." Lissa's expression was earnest and innocent. I knew she was trying to be helpful and spare my feelings here but I couldn't ignore the facts.

"Yeah but Liss, you've never met his family! His mother is always cooking for everyone and keeping a nice house. You should have seen him when we visited them three years ago. He was so happy."

She nodded sagely. "Yes but he was happy because he was seeing his family again for the first time since he'd been Strigoi. He may have enjoyed being with his family, he certainly loves them, but he loves you too. He _chose_ you and don't forget that."

I exhaled. "He's still giving up a lot…"

"Children?" she asked. I didn't respond at first and she pushed forward as if that was answer enough…and yeah, it was. "I know Dimitri would be a great father, everyone knows that. But its rare for dhampir men to have kids, it always has been. If he wasn't with you who is to say he'd even have kids? He really can't give up something that wasn't ever going to happen."

"…it could have," I whispered.

Lissa looked surprised. "What, Tasha?" She glared at me. "Forget about her. She tried to force Dimitri into a relationship by taking away something that he'd already decided he couldn't live without: you. If anything that should reassure you, he chose you over the prospect of children. He made his decision, he knows which he couldn't live without." She scooted closer on the couch, brushing aside the abandoned chip bag, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Don't let this get you so down. Enjoy things as they are."

I knew she was right, I was letting myself get dragged down by this conversation more than necessary, but I was having a hard time keeping a lid on my emotions right now. Probably because of lack of sleep, stress and the overall touchiness of the topic.

I put on a brave smile and nodded to Lissa, steering the conversation back to more manageable things all the while those feelings of inadequacy and gilt festered away at me like a raw wound.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

8

"Oh my God! Jill, look at you!" I darted forward from the ranks of guardians waiting to receive the Dragomir princess and grabbed my friend in a hug. I hadn't seen her since she'd graduated from high school last June. She'd started up college in California, both because her school of choice had a good fashion program and because it kept her close to Adrian Ivashkov, her bond mate, and his wife and their friends.

Jill looked beautiful today, her once frizzy and unruly hair smoothed back to perfection—I sensed both Adrian and Sydney's hands in that matter. She looked like a supermodel and I felt the few extra pounds I'd noticed the week before grow subconsciously heavier.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" said a deep voice behind Jill. I released Jill from the hug to see Eddie exiting the plane behind her.

"Hey Castile!" I laughed, turning my affection on him. "Yes she is," I agreed. "You better hold on tight to this one."

"He doesn't have to worry about me going anywhere," Jill assured me and I was momentarily stunned by the level of attraction between the two. Sometimes I had a hard time reconciling the goofy eighth grader I'd met back at St. Vlad's with this poised and mature woman. She really did look like a princess. I was slightly gratified to see that I had been right all those years ago, she did look a lot like her mother. But I also saw Eric Dragomir in her eyes and her facial expressions. Shadows of Lissa.

"Yes, yes," came Adrian's patronizing voice from above us. "They're in love and everyone knows it. Can you please move, little dhampir, so we may all get off this cursed plane?"

"'Cursed plane'?" I asked Eddie as we moved aside and Adrian, Sydney and Angeline joined us.

"Adrian has decided that the plane oppresses his creative ability," Sydney answered before Eddie got the chance to.

"Can a plane do that?" I asked, hugging her.

"Yes, it can," Adrian said in a matter-of-fact tone, joining in on the hug and capturing me between him and his wife. "It's so…beige. No color, no creativity."

I nodded like I understood that and let the topic drop, glaring at a giggling Jill over Sydney's shoulder. Yes, I'm sure she understood what he was talking about. Adrian was taking mood stabilizers, he had been since he and Sydney had gotten serious, and it cut off the psychic link between the two of them along with Adrian's spirit magic. But he and Jill had shared a mind long enough for her to understand him and all his like quirks.

The group was escorted to the main grounds where they split up, Adrian and Sydney heading to his family's townhouse, Angeline to guardian housing, and Eddie and Jill to her apartment in royal housing. We promised to meet up later at Lissa's for dinner and I found myself walking to guardian housing beside Angeline.

"How have things been?" I asked her as we walked. I still wasn't sure how I felt about the girl sometimes. I never could quite get over our first meeting where she'd attacked me for making a move on her brother. She'd changed a lot since then, though. She'd honed her skills and was a great guardian…or so Eddie and Adrian assured me. She definitely fit in more now. She'd lost a lot of her rougher personality though I knew some things about the modern world could still surprise her.

"Good," she answered in her backwoods West Virginia drawl. "Jill is loving school, which I find weird because she just looks at fabrics all day and discusses what's 'in' this season. Adrian actually likes teaching art to kids, and Sydney loves her curator job _and_ participating in the coven with Mrs. Terwilliger." She gave me a wry smile. "I'm surrounded by weirdo's. The only normal one is Eddie and he's so smitten with Jill that I can hardly consider him normal at all."

I laughed though inside I was a bit jealous. She was having the guardian experience I'd pictured for myself once upon at time—sans the crazy human ex-alchemist witch thing.

"And that guy _you_ were crazy about…what was his name? Gray?" I asked.

"Trey," she corrected. "He's good. We're still together but not as serious as those guys. Not that I don't love him," she said quickly, afraid that she was giving me the wrong impression, "but I'm not ready for that yet. He gets it."

We moved past that topic and moved on to other interesting points of conversations, things Adrian had done to embarrass himself since we'd last spoken, crazy impressive things Sydney had managed to pull off, and a fashion show Jill had walked in for her mentor Lia DiStefano.

By the time we parted it felt like we'd never been separated.

I went to my apartment to pass the few hours until dinner. The California group would be staying for the next five days, celebrating my birthday tomorrow and finishing up some royal business while they were here. Adrian was helping his mom with something since she'd divorced his father and was living on her own, and Jill had to make a council appearance for something or another.

I planted myself on the sofa and intended to lounge around the apartment waiting for Dimitri to get off work. I must have fallen asleep, however, because I woke to Dimitri quietly moving around the living room, searching for something. He didn't notice I was awake at first and I watched as he finally found what he was looking for, his belt, where it had landed when I tossed it behind the chair the night before. I'd been in too much of a hurry to get him undressed to care about where it landed.

"Sorry comrade," I said through a yawn as I watched him slip the belt on. "I'll make sure I leave that somewhere more noticeable next time."

He turned to smile at me as he finished cinching the belt. He was wearing a pair of nice dark wash jeans and a comfortable hunter green t-shirt. He'd already changed for dinner.

I sat up, feeling stiff muscles stretch.

"I don't mind having to find it later as long as I get you in bed for the effort," he assured me with a look that made my heart skip a beat. Damn that man.

"What time is it now?" I asked. "I'll take you to the bedroom just to prove it."

"I'll hold you to that later," he assured me. "But for now you should get ready to leave. We're supposed to be at Lissa's in ten minutes."

I scurried away muttering about what else he could hold me to.

* * *

"You did not!" Adrian gaped at Lissa who had just told him about James.

She nodded excitedly. Sonya, Mikhail and Mandy had also joined us for dinner, rounding out the group of our usual suspects. Dinner had been a jovial affair and now we were lounging in the living room. It was Sonya who answered. Mandy was draped across her lap, sleeping peacefully despite the conversation pulsing through the room.

"Yes. He's rough around the edges. He's already started self-medicating to counteract the symptoms but now that he knows what it is we're hopeful."

"And why didn't you call me?" Adrian demanded, peeved at being excluded. He'd been very active in the search for spirit users over the years too so I understood his position here. "I could have been to St. Vlad's in no time!"

"No you couldn't," Lissa objected. "You had work and your own thing going on in California."

He scoffed. "Like you don't have work, cousin? I could have taken some time off."

"The good thing about my job, Adrian, is that people have to listen to me. If I say we're taking a few days off, it happens."

Their conversation continued for a while and I was lulled into a daze as I leaned against Dimitri's shoulder and looked around the room. It was nice to have everyone back together. We were so often off doing our own things that I forgot what it was like to be surrounded by all of the people you care about most in the world. It would have been nice to see my parents more often, too, but they were busy. Mom still guarded the Selzky lord and God knew what Abe was up to on a daily basis. But they were my parents and we'd grown a lot closer over the entire 'Rose killed Queen Tatiana' thing. I saw them once a year or so, usually in the summer. I'd never known what it was like to want to see your parents when I was growing up.

I wondered if Dimitri felt the same way. He had always had a good relationship with his mom and sisters and he got to see them even less than I did. We'd have to make time to go visit them soon, I decided, or at least convince them to use the airline vouchers Lissa had gifted them two Christmases ago.

Dimitri nudged my side and drew me back to the present. I realized that Adrian was talking to me. Well, taunting me actually.

"Sooo little dhampir," he smirked at me. "Back at St. Vald's huh? Did you two visit your most romantic spots? Behind the bleachers in the gym? The broom closet?" he was making fun of Dimitri and me. Of course he was. He'd spent his time at St. Vlad's harassing me. I'd always thought he was trying to get me in his bed but it had turned out he'd had some genuine—though misguided—feelings for me. I'd unintentionally broken his heart but we had both ended up with whom we belonged with in the end.

"Oh yes," I assured him, partially to play along with him and partially because it was true. "Though I had to avoid as many places as I visited. Bad memories filled with clove cigarette smoke and bad flirting."

"Bad flirting?" he demanded, jumping to his feet. "I assure you I am a connoisseur of flirting. Nobody can resist my charm. How else do you think I got Sage to fall for me?"

"I think it had less to do with your flirting and more to do with your body," I teased.

Adrian looked half affronted, half pleased.

"Thank you for acknowledging my godly good looks but I think it was the flirting. Sage?" We both turned expectantly on Sydney. She sat beside Adrian on the love seat, looking prim and proper in a pencil skirt and button up blouse. And she was a witch?

She smiled briefly at me before turning to her husband. "Rose is right. I definitely love you for your body."

The room dissolved into laughter as the conversation moved on once again.

* * *

"Belikov," Eddie said sometime later. The conversation had tapered off at last. Sonya and Mikhail had left some time ago to put Mandy to bed and Angeline had left as well, claiming a phone date with Trey. I'd been dozing on and off for a while now, unwilling to part with such good company. "You'd better get Rose to bed. She's dead over there."

I made some objectionable noise but didn't really elaborate otherwise.

"We should all get to bed." That was practical Sydney talking. "We'll see each other tomorrow."

The gathering broke up and Dimitri helped me up, wrapping one arm securely around my waist and holding me close.

"Why are you so tired, Roza?" he murmured in my ear as we parted ways with Adrian and Sydney outside. "You have been lately. Maybe you're working too hard."

It was shades of my conversation with Lissa all over again.

"No," I assured him. "I'm fine."

He made a noise deep in his chest that told me he was unconvinced. "Maybe we should hold off on training for a while."

"Did Dimitri Belikov just say we should stop training? I must be dreaming."

"I'm just worried about you. You've never had issues keeping up before."

"Are you suggesting I'm getting too old for this?"

He laughed and squeezed me tighter. "Twenty-three is not old, love. Remember I kept up with your seventeen year-old self when I was twenty-four."

I laughed. "I'm fine," I said, reaching out to open our apartment door. "Now come on, old man. Come into the bedroom and tell me I'm having trouble keeping up."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

9

When I woke up I thought at first it was because I was going to be sick. It took me a moment of pause to realize that it was in fact due to a slow, tickling trail of kisses being placed up and down my bare back. I'd apparently been cuddling a pillow and Dimitri found this the perfect position for his current activity. The tickling sensation left my muscles quivering in its wake, the aftermath of the tremors being felt all the way in my stomach muscles. So, not sick after all. Once I registered the difference a lazy smile crept onto my face and I leaned back into Dimitri's touch.

"Good morning, _milaya_ ," Dimitri breathed into the small of my back, sending shivers rocketing up my spine. "Happy birthday."

I murmured some sort of thanks and arched my back receptively. He chuckled and trailed upwards before deviating off his original path and placing a final kiss just below my ear.

"You should get up. We have practice in an hour."

At the moment I could have kicked myself for insisting on continuing with Christian's class today but I knew that two hours of my day could be spared actually having an excuse to kick Moroi ass. We'd progressed far enough over the past three months of practice that we were actually letting the Moroi pair up and skirmish. The results were often comical but I did enjoy stepping in and showing them the proper stances. Besides, Eddie, Angeline and Sydney had agreed to stop by and put in their two-cents today. It was the promise of sharing our progress with my friends that finally got me out of bed.

Dimitri made sure I was awake and moving before slipping out of the room himself. As I was collecting my workout clothes the smell of bacon began wafting through the tiny apartment.

I smiled. I may not be the girly type of girlfriend who cooked for her man but I'd found a man willing to cook for me.

I was halfway to the bathroom to get changed before the scent of breakfast took hold in my stomach and, instead of making it growl as it usually did, sent a revolting spasm through me. I barely made it to the toilet before I was sick.

Okay, so maybe it had been more than Dimitri's kisses that woke me up after all.

I glared accusingly at my reflection in the mirror as I quickly cleaned up my mess and wiped a cool cloth over my face and neck. No need to worry Dimitri. And he would be worried.

Dhampir's very rarely get sick. The only times I'd ever actually thrown up were either because I'd been kicked in the stomach during a fight or once when I'd had a particularly bad hangover in Portland.

I had no idea what had caused this bout of illness but it was gone now and I wasn't about to let it ruin my birthday.

* * *

"Tuck your elbows in," I ordered the middle age Moroi royal, swatting at his flailing elbow as I circled him. "I know you think you're making yourself look bigger and more intimidating but all you're really doing is making more surface area for her to hit." I nodded at the twenty-six year old non-royal who was sparing him.

The man grumbled something unflattering under his breath and I quickly stepped between him and his partner.

"Care to share with the class?" I demanded, arms crossed. This man was notorious for his prickly attitude and disruptions to the class.

The man looked like a teenager caught passing notes in class, that mixture of faux defiance and embarrassment at being called out on it. He straightened his shoulders and gave me his best nonchalant look.

"I said what's the point of this?" he snapped.

I raised my eyebrows. "Of training? I would have thought that was obvious to you. You did sign up for this class of your own free will."

"Well maybe I wouldn't have if I'd known I was going to be treated like a slave!" he burst, the air of entitlement surrounding him was nearly palpable.

I glared at him. By this time we'd attracted the attention of the rest of the gym. And not just the Moroi side, but also the guardians training in the front half of the gym. Among the crowd I could clearly see Dimitri, Eddie and Christian draw closer to us, forming a ring around the altercation while keeping their distance.

"These are the same exercises that novices go through during their training," I pointed out calmly.

"Like I said," he hissed. "A slave."

I felt my own cheeks flush at that. It was sort of an unspoken rule that, while many Moroi, royals in particular, had often taken advantage of guardian services and afforded them different rights than the Moroi, they were never to address it in such harsh terms. Over the past few years, with such a liberal queen on the throne, and the connections she had among the dhampirs, that type of treatment had been fairly taboo. For this man to stand here in a gym full of dampirs and say that was unbelievable. I could feel the reaction rippling through the room.

From the corner of my eye I saw Christian begin to approach us and held up my hand to ward him off. A few years ago I would have jumped at the opportunity to hurt the man for his words, but now, with my more mature outlook on life, I bit back my temper and tried for reason.

"And where would you be without us?" I demanded. "The point of this class is to teach you how to use your magic defensively. The only reason you need to learn at all is because there aren't enough of us. We are valued. What are you, an Ivashkov?" I demanded. "There are plenty of you."

"I-I, well," the man sputtered. I didn't let him flounder for too long.

"But you do have something us dhampirs don't have." I moved, carefully circling the man. He stood stock still, focusing on anything other than me. I ended my full circuit directly in front of him. " _Magic_." I said. I pitched my voice so that the entire room could hear me. I'd turn this man's insolence into a lesson. My teachers—Dimitri chief among them—had done it to me enough times for me to realize it was a successful strategy. "Magic," I repeated. "It makes you a force to be contended with. With it you have the ability to kill Strigoi from a distance. That is the ultimate goal of this class. To teach you to use your skills while keeping you at a safe distance. Moroi life is precious and we don't want to see it wasted.

"But," I continued. "What if you can't use your magic?" I quirked my eyebrows at him before starting my circuit once more. I addressed the entire class with my next statement. "What happens if you are an earth user with no wood or stone to manipulate? What if you are a water user with no source of water readily available? When your environment is against you you must adapt.

"So call it slave labor," I said. "Call it what you will as long as you learn it because one day it damn well may save your life. Now," I turned back to the Ivashkov lord. "Keep your elbows tucked."

* * *

"Man, Rose I thought you were going to kill that guy," Eddie chuckled as we all cleaned up after practice. Christian was locking the door to the supply room where we kept our equipment while the rest of us gathered the remaining vestiges of the class's presence.

"She should have!" Angelina burst, snatching up a forgotten water bottle. "I can't believe what he said. You guys all call me backwoods but my family would never treat anyone like that."

"I believe it," Sydney assured the spitfire guardian. Sydney had spent most of the class as an observer on the sidelines but she'd stepped in now and again, helping more with the magic side than the physical defense though I knew she had experience in that, too. "In a lot of ways the Keepers are more advanced than Court society. Maybe not technologically," she acquiesced at Eddie and Christian's crazed looks, "but socially. They don't let politics get in the way of building relationships and seeing the value of an individual. People here could learn a thing or two from them."

"Maybe not their cooking skills," I pointed out. "I like knowing that the meat in my dinner wasn't also the pet pig."

Dimitri shook his head in amusement. He occasionally teased me about our time with the Keepers and my fear of their food.

"Rose handled the situation admirably," Dimitri said. "I think everyone there would agree."

"Yes, yes, she kicked butt," Christian said flippantly. "Though if you ask me the guy could have done with an ass beating. Lissa would kill him if she heard what he said to you."

"Don't tell her," I warned him. "She has enough on her plate without taking revenge on the man for some petty social view."

"It was as much an insult to you personally as it was to all dhampirs. It's not small to her," Christen argued.

I shrugged, swinging my gym bag onto my shoulder as we all headed out of the gym at last. "Lissa has bigger things to worry about. The Council is still locked on its latest law, we have midterms next week and lets not forget there's some psychopathic Moroi renegade running loose around Court sending Strigoi after her." There had been no further clues to as to who had tipped off the Strigoi in January.

"Rose," Christian groaned. He was tired of my "harping on about it" as he had told me many times over the past two or so months since it had happened. "We've been over this already, it was probably planned by the Strigoi. I know you guys do your best to keep as many details of Lissa's schedule a secret as possible but it's not impossible for a Strigoi to figure it out."

"And I've told you," I countered testily, "that it was someone from Court."

"Another gut feeling?" he said, none too kindly.

"Yes," I snapped.

"Alright you two," Eddie said, breaking gently into the conversation. Everyone else had been watching our spat like a ping pong match, clearly unwilling to get caught up in the middle of it. Dimitri, who had been caught in the middle of this very same argument several times recently, obviously decided not to bother this time around and stayed well away from the two of us. "Can we put this on the back burner for now? It's getting late and we're supposed to be celebrating today."

I didn't like leaving off the conversation without a resolution but there hadn't been one for weeks and I didn't think that one would present itself in the next few minutes. Besides, the reminder of my birthday celebration was enough to push the conflict out of my head for the rest of the day.

* * *

Lissa had arranged for us to eat at one of Courts fancier restaurants to celebrate my birthday that evening and I'd ended up sandwiched between Sydney and Lissa at a large table. Dimitri sat directly across from me absorbed in his own conversation with Christian, Eddie and Adrian. I'd never thought I'd see the day they all conversed amiably but it made me happy to see it today. I was feeling pretty high on life at the moment, the hardships of life momentarily forgotten as I was absorbed in the cheerful atmosphere. Someone leaned over my shoulder to pour a glass of wine and I looked up to see Ambrose, looking as godly hot as ever. I'd seen him on and off over the years but not as much in the past few months. He'd been one of those constant presences at Court that you noticed when they were missing but not always when they were there. I'd realized that about a year ago when he'd disappeared from his usual jobs for a week and returned with a black eye. I'd cornered him one day and demanded to know what had happened to him and if I could help. When he'd finally caved and admitted he'd gotten in a fight with one of his 'clients' husbands I'd offered to help him brush up on his guardian skills so it wouldn't happen again. He'd played of the situation and we'd never actually worked on it. I think he was more embarrassed than actually hurt and I didn't blame him. Since then he'd skirted around me a bit but rumor had it he'd also stopped seeing a lot of his clients on the side. I offered him a smile now.

"How are you?" I asked him as he straightened up.

He gave me a winning smile of his own. "Oh you know," he gestured vaguely around with the wine bottle. "Catching odd jobs where I can get them. The usual."

I nodded. "Let me know if I can ever help with anything," I said, memories of our last encounter still fresh in my mind.

He gave a noncommittal sound of agreement. "Stop by my aunts place some time," he counter-offered. "I'm sure she'll give you a free birthday reading."

I gave some form of acknowledgement but as he moved on to serve the others I knew I had no intentions of taking him up on it. I'd received two too many crappy readings from his aunt about situations I'd rather not worry about in advance. I pushed back those thoughts and turned to my favorite human friend.

"So how is life really?" I asked Sydney. "How is it not being an Alchemist? Being in the coven? _Married to Adrian?"_ Out of the entire list of abnormal and phenomenal experiences Sydney had lived through that last one was the only one I had trouble wrapping my head around.

She gave me a small smile, understanding, as she always did, my thought process.

"Adrian has changed since you knew him," she pointed out. "Not that I wanted him to change for me," she added hastily, "but it's more that he changed for himself and I like those changes. Its…wonderful really," her smile turned dopy. "I love some of the more adventurous things we do between spirit research and my own practicing but it's also nice to come home from a normal job every day and eat dinner together, to sit and watch a movie or just sleep beside each other. Its really not unlike you and Dimitri."

I shrugged. Her description sounded pretty similar to us I had to admit, aside from the whole 'normal job' part. I didn't think being a guardian was what Sydney considered normal.

"I suppose. I just thought it would be different being legally bound to each other."

"The only difference is the in-laws," she made a face. "Its one thing to date a guy, its another to be bound to his parents too. Adrian's moms not so bad," she added hurriedly at my questioning look. "But his dad is a sour apple. He doesn't talk to Adrian anymore. He even made sure to be away on business while we're visiting here. No real loss." She shrugged. "But Adrian and my commitment isn't any different than it was before we signed a piece of paper. Its just nice to have our commitment recognized by authorities."

I thought for a moment about my relationship with Dimitri and how we still got looked at as if we were some curious case study instead of two people in love. "I understand that," I admitted quietly.

Sydney glanced at Dimitri out of the corner of her eye. We were sitting fairly close to each other but between the noisy atmosphere of the restaurant and the distractions of their own conversations nobody could hear the conversation we were having. Still, Sydney lowered her voice as she leaned in closer to say her next part.

"Why the interest?" she asked. "Did Dimitri propose?"

"No!" I assured her quickly, and a bit too loudly. I lowered my voice and continued. "It's not that. I've just been thinking about life lately. The normal existential crisis that accompanies a birthday, I suppose."

She nodded wisely.

"Well I wouldn't worry about anything. You'll know what's right when the time comes. And take that from someone whose been married to an _Ivashkov_ for almost four years. He's weird, but I wouldn't trade him for anything."

"Who's weird?" Lissa asked, detaching herself from her conversation with Jill and Angeline and catching Sydney's last words.

"Adrian," Sydney answered casually.

"Oh," Lissa said, looking confused. "That's nothing new."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

10

My leg snapped out and up in what promised to be the flawless execution of a roundhouse kick. However, just before my foot made contact with his ribs, Alastair shifted to the left and reached out, grabbing my extended leg and trapping it against his side.

I tugged, trying to retract my leg but the guardian held tight, giving me a slight smirk. I gave him a polite smile back and quickly threw my body downward, tucking to absorb the impact. My leg came down with me, as did Alastair, who hadn't anticipated the move and was brought down by his tight hold on my leg.

As his back thudded against the mat he released his grip on my leg and I quickly drew it back, tucking it under me as I launched myself at his prone form. I quickly got a position on top of him, my hands coming down in what would most certainly be a kill strike over his heart.

The new guys reflexes were good. Really good. Quick as a flash his arms came out to block mine, grasping my wrists and using my own body weight against me as he rolled us, intending to get me under him. I anticipated the move however and managed to bring my knees up and lock them solidly on his hips. His grip on my wrists didn't slacken as he pinned them to the mat beneath me.

"Maybe you're not as good as they say, Hathaway," he teased as I made an attempt to break his hold on my wrists.

The words had barely left his lips before I drew my knees to my chest and horse kicked him in the gut. He went flying backwards off the sparing mat and into the circle of guardians surrounding our fight. I jumped quickly to my feet, ready to block his next attack but the fight was over, Alastair was gasping for air at our colleagues feet.

"Let me guess," I teased back, "I take your breath away."

Raucous laughter echoed around the gym as Alan and Thom helped the man to his feet. I relaxed my stance and reached a hand out to shake his.

"Not bad, Pierce," I complemented him. "You'll do fine here."

Alastair Pierce was Jeff's replacement on the team. He'd been hired on almost two weeks ago but I hadn't had much time to test the waters with him. Lissa and I were on spring break so he'd yet to accompany us off Court grounds. Before he did I was determined to get a feel for him and his capabilities. While I might not like gruff and grim Hans I never once thought he'd assign someone less than capable to Lissa's guard. Still, as her head guardian I had to find that out for myself.

The team and I had gathered at the gym with the intention of getting a feel for Alastair's strengths and weaknesses before determining his precise role among us.

"Don't feel bad, man," Xavier was saying conciliatory to him. "Rose has beat all our asses at some point. There's no stopping her."

"She was trained by a god," Stella pointed out, ever the one to be fair.

George scoffed. "Yeah and now she's sleeping with him."

I elbowed him sharply in the gut as I moved past him and towards where my water bottle sat on a nearby bench.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I demanded over my shoulder, reaching the bench at last. I plopped down onto it and guzzled half the bottles contents.

"Unfair advantage?" Daniel suggested. "He shows you more moves off the clock." He waggled his eyebrows in a ridiculously suggestive fashion.

"I'll have you know that I've always been this badass. Its in my genes."

"She has a point there," Daniel agreed. "Any kid of Janine Hathaway or Ibrahim Mazur would be dangerous. Put that together? Well, Exhibit Rose." He gestured to me like I was some sideshow entertainment.

I rolled my eyes. "Can we please stop talking about my pedigree and sex life?" I hoisted myself off the bench, muscles protesting slightly, and went to stand in front of Alastair who'd been silent through the banter. "Ignore them," I told him. "Over time you'll get used to it. Or, so I assume. I've been with them almost four years and that still hasn't happened yet."

Alastair smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.

"I'm glad to be here."

* * *

"Rose?" Lissa called softly, lightly tapping on the bathroom door. "Rose can you open up?"

"I'll be out in a second," I called, tightening my grip on the porcelain basin of the toilet as I fought down another wave of nausea. "I'm fixing my eyeliner."

"I know you're throwing up in there," she called, using her no nonsense voice.

Shit.

I'd been as quiet as I could while I heaved up the remains of my lunch but apparently it hadn't been quiet enough.

We were supposed to be leaving for Lehigh soon so I'd made my way to her apartment with the intent of dragging her out of her home office. I'd barely made it to the office and told her to hurry up, however, before my stomach had given an increasingly familiar lurch and sent me scurrying to the nearest bathroom. I'd hoped she'd been too absorbed in her work to notice anything amiss.

Apparently not.

I swiftly beat down the remainder of my nausea and flushed the toilet before unlocking the door for her.

She came in immediately, studying me worriedly as I grabbed the toothpaste from the counter and proceeded to use my finger to brush my teeth.

"What's wrong?" she demanded of me once I'd finished and turned off the tap.

I shrugged. "I got sick," I said.

She gave me her best 'well duh' expression as I brushed past her and headed into the living room. I grabbed her backpack off of the couch and proceeded to gather her school supplies from their respected places around the room.

"I meant why," Lissa clarified unnecessarily as she took her bag from me and continued where I left off.

"I'm not a doctor," I said blithely as I abandoned her and went to the kitchen in search of something to clear away the remnants of the taste in my mouth. I settled for a cherry ice pop.

"Maybe you should see one," she suggested, slipping the last of her notes—and mine—into her bag before zipping it and turning to me. We headed out the door and towards the parking garage.

"No need," I assured her. "I'm sure it's a one and done type of thing."

She glared at me accusingly. "You're lying," she said. "You can't hide your aura and it just lit up like a lie detector."

I scowled at her but made no further comment. In truth this incident marked five times in the week since my birthday that I'd been sick. Mercifully Dimitri had been absent for the last three. He'd caught me getting sick in the middle of the night two days after my birthday and had worried endlessly over me. I'd managed to assure him that I'd eaten something weird earlier that day and there was no real need to worry about it. I was almost grateful that he and Christian were at Alder for the next two weeks as they implemented the latest training program. I hated when people fussed over me even though I was beginning to wonder over the cause of these bouts of sickness myself. I didn't need Dimitri worrying too.

Lissa wasn't so easily deterred.

"Something has to be causing this to happen. You should get checked out just to be safe."

"I'm sure its nothing," I insisted, guiding her cautiously around a gaggle of middle-aged women gossiping in the courtyard. "Dhampir's don't get sick."

"Not easily," she agreed. "Which is why this really worries me. You never get sick. Ever. You should see a doctor."

"I'm not going to some Court doctor just for them to tell me I'm fine. The trip to the infirmary alone will stir up drama. Every time I'm seen within ten yards of the place people assume I've either been severely injured in a fight or _I've_ injured someone. "

Lissa giggled at that.

"Well that's usually the case," she pointed out.

"That doesn't mean I'm okay with it!" I protested. We were entering the parking garage now so I lowered my voice, not needing the rest of my team to hear about my current problem. "Look," I sighed. "I feel fine now. I'm positive that was the last time it will happen."

Lissa didn't look convinced.

"Fine," she said reluctantly. "For now. But if it happens again I'll drag you to a doctor myself."

* * *

"So boring," I croaked into my earpiece. "Death imminent."

There was laughter over the com system as my team responded to my theatrics.

"I'm glad that you're the near guardian and not me," George said. "I'd rather freeze my nuts off out here than sit through PoliSci."

"Me too," I grumbled to their further amusement.

I sat two rows behind Lissa in this class, using my location at the back of the room to keep an eye on the two exits as well as my fellow classmates. My position, while affording many benefits, also meant that I couldn't talk to Lissa, which did not help my boredom but probably helped her grade.

It was Thursday and I was looking forward to not making this trip again for a few days. Tuesday had been completely exhausting, fending off Lissa's good intentions and my own nausea but I'd made it through the day without giving her any more cause to force me to a doctor. I'd also gone the entire day yesterday without getting sick, what I believed to be a sure sign that I was on the mend. I hadn't gone a full day without being ill for a week and yesterday had gotten my hopes up. All I really wanted to do at this point was go home and lay on my living room couch for the next twenty-four hours. I had tomorrow off, Alastair was taking on guard duty during the morning Council meeting, and I fully intended to use that time to do absolutely nothing and enjoy every second of it.

Unfortunately I had two more classes after this one that stood between me and laziness.

The class was winding down for the day when I felt the tidal wave of nausea begin to break over me.

I swore vividly, earning a scandalized look from the girl next to me and an impressed look from the guy two seats down.

"Stella," I hissed over our communication system. "Spell me. Now." The response was immediate. Stella was one of the guards in the hallway outside the classroom. She slipped silently into the lecture hall while I darted out of the room. I caught both her and Lissa's confused looks as I went.

Xavier, the other guard in the hallway, tried to get my attention as I fled the room.

"What's wrong Rose?" Xavier demanded over the earpiece.

There were similar questions from the rest of the team coming through but I couldn't respond, instead I worked on keeping my jaw tightly clenched as I raced around the corner and down the hall to the nearest restroom.

Once inside I proceeded to lose everything I'd managed to eat over the past few hours and when that wasn't enough my body insisted on dry heaving.

"Son of a bitch," I groaned as the spasms finally stopped.

I allowed myself a few more moments to catch my breath before exiting the stall.

Lissa was leaning against the sink, wet paper towel in hand and a worried expression on her face. I hadn't even heard her come in. So much for guardian training. Whatever this was that was messing with my system was also messing with my job.

I took the proffered cloth and made quick work of cleaning myself up.

"You're going to a doctor," Lissa said. Said, not suggested.

"I am not."

"Yes you are," she was using her no nonsense voice, the one she used on disobedient royals. "I told you the other day that if you got sick again you were going."

"Is that an order from my queen?" I demanded, irked. She needed to just let me be. I'd handle this myself.

"It will be if that's what it takes." Her hard expression softened a bit as she regarded me. I must not have looked all that great to receive such a look from her. "I just want to make sure that you're okay," she explained. "If you don't want to see a Court doctor than see one here on campus. They have a health center."

"A human doctor?" I asked skeptically.

"Why not?" She shrugged. "If it's a virus then they'll know. If it's a bacteria then they can prescribe antibiotics. I mean, yeah we're different but if the bacteria causing the issue is the same then they can give you something for that."

I rolled my eyes. "I doubt I caught anything. Dhampir, remember." I thumped my chest with a closed fist as if to demonstrate my resilience, then used that hand to brace myself on the counter as another wave of nausea fought for control of my body.

"Maybe it's not a bug then," she acquiesced. "Maybe you're just overworked. It could be stress. Your cortisol levels—that's your stress hormones—might be elevated. You have been working a lot lately and you've been exhausted too. That might explain it. And—"

"Okay okay don't go all science nerd on me!" I interrupted, holding my hands up in surrender.

She smiled. "Just go, will you? For me?"

I groaned. The one thing that might get me to actually do this was to do it for her.

"Fine," I sighed. "But when the doctors find nothing wrong you have to leave me alone. No going to Court doctors to be sure. This is it."

She clapped her hands together. "Thank you!"

"Uh, boss?" Daniel called through the earpiece. "Everything okay in there?"

"Yes," I answered, pointing to my ear when Lissa gave me a confused look. "We'll be out in a minute."

"I guess I can be back before our last class," I said, trying to figure out the logistics of this change in plan.

"I can go with you," Lissa offered.

I shook my head. "No," I declined. "You have to go to class. Besides, I'll have to steal the notes from you later."

That decided we met up with the rest of our group. I quickly made arrangements with them to cover my absence, giving them a vague excuse of needing to see to something, before heading off to the campus health center.

Maybe they actually would be able to give me answers. I just wanted life to get back to normal.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

11

The health clinic on Lehigh's campus was exactly what I expected it to be like: a small, badly lit waiting room with ugly uncomfortable chairs. There was a guy in there who looked like he was dying, whether from a bender the night before or some other illness I wasn't sure. Another girl sat across from me, cotton tissue perpetually pressed to her nose as she made irritable honking noises in an attempt to clear her congestion.

Lissa was going to get me sick by sending me here.

I'd made it to the clinic quickly after leaving Lissa, intent on finishing fast and getting back to my job. Once there I'd filled out a quick bit of medical history and now waited for my turn.

I felt the time slipping by slowly as I waited impatiently, running through more arguments to have with Lissa upon my return. When "Hathaway, Rosemaire," was finally called from the doorway I was quick to comply.

The nurse on duty led me through the usual process of a check up, taking my temperature and blood pressure. She asked me a few more questions and asked for a urine sample. Rolling my eyes I'd complied with that as well, making a comment about how it was my stomach, not bladder, I was having issues with. She ignored me and left with the sample, leaving me once again to my own devices. I had thoroughly inspected every piece of equipment and cabinet in the room when the doctor entered at last.

"Hello Ms. Hathaway, my name is Dr. Lochten." A stout, old man with a bushy gray mustache greeted me as he entered the tiny room. He extended a hand to me and I took it wearily.

"Hello," I responded. "So, did your tests tell you what's wrong with me?" I asked without much preamble.

The doctor gestured for me to get on the exam table. I did and he proceeded to listen to my lungs.

"The results aren't back yet," he informed me as he moved the cool metal from one side of my back to the other, "but I'm here for more information." He put away his stethoscope and nodded to me. "You seem extremely healthy," he noted. "Do you do some sort of sport?" he asked. "Running? Swimming?"

"Mixed martial arts," I responded. When in the human world this was the go-to response for guardians to give. Any bodily manifestations of our profession were nearly identical.

The man nodded, having expected something along the lines. "Well it keeps you in top shape which makes it all the more curious that you've been ill of late." He sat down on a stool and rested his elbows on his knees. "Tell me, what exactly has been happening?"

I shrugged. "I just get sick randomly. Its like I have three seconds between realizing I'm going to be sick and it actually happening."

He made a grunt of acknowledgement. "And is there anything that these events have in common? A time of the day, location or smell perhaps?"

I shook my head. "Completely random." I'd had my episodes anywhere from early morning to mid-shift and right before bed. If it had been as easy as identifying some smell that bugged me I'd have done so by now.

Another grunt. "And has anything else been off that you've noticed? Aches and pains, weight gain, lethargy?"

"No—" I stopped myself. "Well, yeah actually," I admitted. "I'm almost always tired but that's really not unexpected, I've been pulling double shifts a lot lately."

"And weight gain?" he asked. I glared. What, had he or the nurse noticed my slightly tight shirt today? It was another blow to my ego, the once perfectly fitted button up blouse was tight, buttons embarrassingly showing some strain near the chest and bottom. Nothing outrageous or worth changing shirts over but still.

"A little," I admitted. "Why? Is this something you've seen before?"

He nodded, sagely. "I believe so. Of course, I'm just waiting for your test results before I say anything conclusively."

He didn't say anything more on that, only quizzed me on a few more random things: change in appetite, aches or swelling in my joints. I was getting pretty frustrated with him. I was here for him to tell me I was fine and send me on my way, I hadn't expected him to actually run tests or ask about things other than my vomiting.

Just as I was about ready to put the doctor through a wall there was a knock on the door. The nurse from before popped in only long enough to pass a manila folder to the doctor and leave.

Dr. Lochten flipped open the file without delay and scanned the contents, flipping a page once, then twice.

"Uh-huh," he murmured, "just as I thought."

"Care to share?" I demanded, irked.

He closed the folder and turned his attention to me once again.

"The answer to your symptoms is actually fairly common," he said. "I don't suppose you remember your last menstrual cycle?"

I glared at him. "No," I admitted. "I don't get them consistently." Not with the amount of training I endured anyway.

He nodded. "That I believe. Well Ms. Hathaway," he shifted and resettled himself, as if batting down for a battle. "It appears that you are pregnant."

I stared at him, nonplussed.

"Excuse me?" I choked out after a few moments of sputtering and blinking. I had to have heard the old man wrong. That simply wasn't possible.

He waved the folder through the air. "Your urine sample came back with hCG levels of 32mlU/ml. You are pregnant."

I shook my head. "You're wrong. You must have accidentally switched the samples. Maybe Snotty McGee out there is knocked up."

"We didn't. She's not," he assured me. "Are you saying that it's impossible? Have you not had sex in the past few months?"

I blushed. "Well I have but—"

"Then, contrary to what your generation seems to believe, the only one-hundred percent sure way to prevent pregnancy is through abstinence. You may have been very careful, dear," he said not unsympathetically, "but these things do happen."

This was just absolutely ridiculous. Something about being dhampir must have screwed up the test he had used. There was absolutely no way I was pregnant…absolutely none at all. I'd only been with Dimitri and that made what he was saying impossible…a fact he seemed unable to comprehend.

"Look," I sighed, slipping off the exam table and crossing the room. "I appreciate your trying to help but your test is wrong. I'll just leave now."

"Ms. Hathaway I am not wrong. Think about it: the nausea, tiredness, weight change. Your symptoms fit the diagnosis. You cannot just ignore this. Whatever you intend to do about it you must make a decision."

"There's no decision to be made," I snapped. "You're wrong."

The doctor had vacated his seat and was now following me through the back hallways of the clinic as I made my way back to the waiting room.

"Please," he said. "For nothing else than to prove me wrong, go to the women's clinic on campus and get a blood test done."

"Why would I even bother?" I demanded. "This was a waste of my time." I'd told Lissa it would be nothing.

"Please," the old man puffed, catching me at the door to the waiting room, heavy breathes stirring his mustache. "Just humor me."

* * *

I couldn't believe I was doing this. The waiting room for the women's clinic was even worse than the health clinic's. Not because of the upholstery or lighting this time, but because of the pamphlets, pictures and flyers littering the place. Interspersed between professional photos of babies with big blue eyes were posters of different stages of gestation. Pamphlets ranging from "Breastfeeding: Give your baby the very breast" to "Circumcision: is it the right choice for you?"

But worst of all was the company. I hadn't thought I'd long for Bender Benny and Snotty McGee but from the moment I sat down, surrounded by women in various stages of pregnancy, I felt myself longing for the honking of Snotty's company.

I couldn't look anywhere without being confronted by the reality of my situation. I was a dhampir in a relationship with another dhampir—as sterile as mules—in a pregnancy clinic waiting on a test. Why was I even here? Why had I allowed the doctor to talk me into this? Why was I still here? I wasn't pregnant, I already knew that, so why did I stay? Maybe because part of me wanted to prove myself right, no matter how sad the reality of that win would be. Maybe I just wanted a damn diagnosis to my nausea.

Either way I was still sitting in my seat, contemplating taking the ten steps it would take to leave the clinic, when my name was called.

A nurse brought me back and ran another set of tests nearly identical to those I'd already gone through. However, instead of giving a urine sample the nurse took a blood sample instead.

After that I was deposited into a small exam room and left to wait.

It didn't take long.

A short, birdlike woman entered after two short raps at the door.

"Hello Ms. Hathaway, my name is Dr. Reed," she greeted me as she shut the door. I nodded my greeting and waited for her to apologize for the mix-up and say that I wasn't pregnant. "I just got off the phone with Dr. Lochten from the campus med clinic and he's caught me up to date on your situation." She moved to sit on the stool in front of me. I watched her expectantly. When she didn't continue I spoke.

"So," I prompted her. "You're here to tell me that there's been a mix-up and I'm really not pregnant."

The doctor gave me a wry smile and shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't do that," she said. "There has been no error. Your blood test confirmed that you are pregnant."

I stared at her, at a loss for words for the second time today.

"It's wrong," I assured her. "Check again. Check my…what's it called?" What had Lissa gone all nerdy on me earlier and said? "Cortisol levels! That's it. My stress hormones. I'm sure that's the reason I'm so off."

Dr. Reed was shaking her head. "I'm sure that if I tested your blood for cortisol levels they would, indeed, be elevated. But that means nothing. Cortisol—all glucocorticoids—are responsible for mobilizing energy stores in your body. So yes, the spike in stressful situations, but they also spike for increased metabolic rates. Rates that naturally increase during pregnancy. Cortisol levels are a symptom but not the root cause."

Okay, I really didn't need a lesson in biology and endocrinology.

"In any case I am confident that you are pregnant. I'm waiting for a sonogram room to open up and then I'll take you there for confirmation."

"That…that's not possible," I said at last. "Really not possible."

She raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?" she asked. "Dr. Lochten said that you told the nurse you aren't on birth control and you are sexually active. Under those conditions this is extremely likely."

"But its not!" I objected furiously. I felt funny, an odd combination of my blood pressure rising and the increasing urge to throw up. "My boyfriend and I can't have kids! All our doctors have told us that. He's—he's sterile. Like mules, they told us."

The doctor shrugged. "Well either there was a random mutation that took place in order to make this immaculate conception possible or your doctors were wrong up to date. I am sorry that you were given false information and therefore left unprotected but this is really happening." She wasn't being rude about it, more like she'd realized that she had to give me the cold hard truth in my current state.

"Not possible," I whispered, eyes prickling with the urge to cry.

"Are you…are you upset because you didn't think it was possible or because you aren't ready to be a mother?" Her questions were gentle.

"I don't know," I gasped. "Both? Neither?"

"Will the father be supportive? Are you worried that he doesn't want a child?"

That I had a definite answer for. "No!" I exclaimed. "He has always wanted to be a father. I've always wanted to give him that. Its just….who will believe me?" Believe me that two dhampirs had somehow miraculously conceived a baby.

"Have there been other men?" she asked cautiously.

"No." I shook my head emphatically. "Only one. Only _him_. Only Dimitri. Ever. "

She nodded. "Well it sounds like a stable relationship. But you do have options. Adoption, abortion."

I was shaking my head. How could I be talking about that? How could I consider it? There was still a chance that they were wrong and I wasn't even pregnant. I wasn't about to make any decisions until I got to the bottom of this.

"Okay," Dr. Reed said soothingly. "You don't have to make any decisions today. But while we're waiting I have to ask you a few questions about your medical history."

I nodded, not looking at her. She flipped through her clipboard and brought out a pen.

"Any prevalence of cancer or mental illness in your family?"

I shook my head. She noted it down and continued.

"Do you or have you ever smoked?"

"Never."

"Take drugs?"

"No. Never."

"When is the last time you drank alcohol?"

I paused to think. "I don't drink much," I said. "I really can't with my job. But I had a glass of wine on my birthday. Last week." Panic suddenly coursed through me. Had I ruined something already?

The doctor noticed my panic. "No need to get upset," she said. "I'm not going to say any alcohol during pregnancy is good but one glass is highly unlikely to do any harm."

I nodded my relief.

"How often are you sexually active?"

I blushed slightly.

"Fairly consistently." I thought back to the past few months. I'd been jumping Dimitri's bones at any available opportunity. Could that be a symptom of pregn—no. No I wasn't pregnant. _Stop thinking that, Rose._

"How many times a week, would you say?" The doctor didn't bat an eyelash at the question or my subsequent response.

"At least four times a week."

Not a flinch.

"Have you ever visited a gynecologist? If so when was your last appointment?"

"I haven't."

She raised an eyebrow. "We generally recommend any woman who is sexually active or over the age of twenty-one gets regular checks."

"Yes well, I never had to worry about pregnancy and I know where my partner has been. There is no risk of disease." If I ever did come down with something Dimitri would have some explaining to do. Besides, as bad as it was, I'd probably just have Lissa heal me.

"When did you become sexually active?"

"Seventeen. And before you ask I lost my virginity to the same man who would have to be the father if I was pregnant. Which I'm _not_."

Dr. Reed just nodded and continued writing.

There was a knock on the door and the nurse from earlier popped her head in.

"Room two is available, Dr. Reed." She ducked back out before the doctor responded.

"Alright Rose," she said, standing up and tucking her clipboard under her arm. "Please follow me."

She led me to a room with a curtain and hooks on the wall. Here she had me change into a paper gown before following her to room two. I eyed the medical equipment warily. There were t.v. screens, an examination bed and a large machine full of nobs, buttons and probes. The doctor sat down in front of the machine.

"Please hop up here and place your legs in the stirrups." I was about to ask what she meant when I saw said stirrups protruding from the edge of the bed. I felt like I was in some cheesy Syfy movie as I did as she bade.

My heart throbbed painfully in my chest and I felt very alone. I had left my ear piece in the changing room in my pant pocket. I didn't need the guys in my ear right now.

"Now Rose," the doctor said after fiddling with the machine for a minute. "We have no idea how far along you are. Because you aren't showing I'd usually say you're early on here. However, due to circumstances—being your physically demanding job, excellent physical health, and the fact that you weren't looking for symptoms—you could be any number of weeks along. This sonogram will help us pinpoint the date of conception as well as due date. Because you aren't showing, however, I will use the internal wand."

She held up a long cylindrical device that's shape left no doubt where it would be used.

"Uh," I said. "I may not have ever paid attention to pregnancy things before but I'm pretty sure the classic ultrasound consists of the tech spreading freezing gel on my abdomen and using a much smaller probe."

She gave me an indulgent smile. "That is when the fetus is large enough to be seen through muscle, fat layer and fluids. Yours is not so we must place the probe against the uteran wall. Thus, an internal examination."

That didn't exactly make me feel better but I let her proceed. A few uncomfortable moments later and she flicked on the t.v. mounted to the wall across from me. A gray screen appeared. She moved the probe as needed, apologizing as I winced, and brought something into focus on the screen.

"And there it is," she said, a slight tone of satisfaction in her voice.

"There what is?" I asked, studying the screen. There was nothing but black and gray blobs, none of which looked even remotely like a baby to me.

"Do you see this?" she asked, drawing the cursor along the black oval in the middle of the screen with a lighter gray center. I nodded. "Well that is the amniotic sac and this," she rested the cursor on the gray interior, "is your baby."

I stared at the screen in disbelief. I wanted to open my mouth and refute her again, to say that it didn't look anything like a baby and she was crazy. But I knew nothing of ultrasounds and this woman's job revolved around them. If she said she saw something then I was sure she did. But that begged the question: how? How was this possible? How was there a baby inside me?

"How?" I breathed, my eyes prickling with tears. I would not cry. Not here.

"It's pretty incredible," Dr. Reed agreed. "All of the different things that have to fall into place in order for this to happen. Nature is beautiful."

"Yeah, beautiful," I echoed bleakly. She had no idea how many different things must have had to happen in order for this particular baby to come about. I looked from the screen down to my flat belly and back to the screen.

"How-" I cleared my throat and began again. "How far is it? Am I?"

She clicked a few keys on the machine and murmured to herself for a moment before answering. "You are measuring at ten weeks."

"Ten weeks?" I demanded, aghast. Ten weeks? How had I gotten so far and not noticed? That was two and a half months. Something tickled the back of my mind but I couldn't grab ahold of the thought and it slipped away.

The doctor nodded. "Yes," she said. "I'm a bit impressed that you aren't starting to show yet. By three months most women are visibly carrying. You have probably gotten this far because of your rigorous training but once that baby decides to show it won't stop making itself known. I'd say that over the next two weeks or so you'll see significant growth and be able to visibly see a baby bump. At least without a shirt on. You could probably forestall public knowledge for a little longer."

I didn't know what to say to that. Two weeks and I'd be showing? Dimitri wouldn't be home for another two weeks. What would happen then? Either I'd be showing and he'd be welcomed home by a cacophony of gossip and slander or he'd at least make it through the front door unaware before pulling me in for a kiss and finding something between us. Either way he was going to be just as blindsided by this news as I was. Even more so because he didn't have the physical warning signs or knowledge that, for absolute certainty, the child was his. There was no doubt, of course. I'd only ever been with him but what conclusion would his mind leap to first: some sort of magic, most likely spirit related miracle or that I cheated? Which was more unlikely?

The doctor seemed oblivious to my inner turmoil.

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" she asked.

I barely had time to give a jerky nod before she flipped a switch and a loud _woosh! woosh! woosh!_ filled the room. It was stupid that, after all the other proof I'd been presented with—a urine test, a blood test and a sonogram—it was that sound that broke me. The tears I'd been fighting spilled over my cheeks and I made an odd choking sound as I fought back a sob. It was real. This was all real. I was pregnant and that sound was my baby's heartbeat. Dimitri's baby's heart beat. Did I really care _how_ it happened? How it was possible? The point was that it was happening and it was possible.

"Rose?" Dr. Reed tapped my shoulder lightly, startling me. I hadn't realized that she'd been talking to me, as hyper-focused as I was on the now paused screen of the t.v. Bad form for a guardian but I thought maybe my former instructors would have given me a pass, under the circumstances. She had finished the sonogram, and was now standing at my side, a look of concern reflected in her features. "Are you alright?" she handed me a tissue and I used it to mop up the mess of tears that I'd been reduced to.

I took a rattling breath before nodding. "Yeah," I responded. "Just…" I trailed off. Just what? Shocked? Happy? Sad? Scared? Terrified?

"Overwhelmed?" she suggested.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Well, you do have options," she reminded me. "It's the twenty-first century and there are alternatives."

I shook my head. "No, no. Its not that…its not that I don't _want_ it per se," I informed her. "But I have a career and life is already complicated enough. I just don't know where a baby will fit." Not to mention the supposed biological impossibility of it all.

"Well there are counselors you could talk to. The university gives you access to a lot of resources."

"I don't need a therapist," I snapped, none too kindly. I'd spent enough of my life being told I was crazy and I didn't need to revisit crazy-ville.

"Not a therapist," she assured me. "Just someone to listen to your concerns and help you work through a solution."

"I have friends for that," I snapped again. Friends, I realized, that I needed to get back to. How long had I been gone?

I looked at the analogue clock on the wall. 4:36. Lissa was in our last class. We'd need to be leaving for Court in twenty minutes.

I swore. "I'm running late," I said to the surprised face of my doctor. "I have to go."

"But Rose," she said as I slid off of the table. "We still need to go over a few things."

"I don't have time."

"Ms. Hathaway I must insist. Its not just you that you have to think about anymore."

Just me? I gave a slightly hysterical laugh. "Just me?" I demanded. "Nothing has been about _just me_ since I was five years old." Surely I wasn't making any sense to her now. She had no idea what my full job description was. Then again, she was used to working with overly emotional women and seemed to think that the best move was to back down.

Smart.

She held up her hands in a placating gesture. "All I mean by that is that there are a few things you have to consider. A lighter workload, less physical strain, prenatal vitamins."

I nodded in understanding as I slipped out of the room and strode down the hallway to retrieve my clothes.

"Okay," I said. "Understood."

"I'll give you a prescription for the vitamins and you can pick them up at any pharmacy," she said, scurrying to keep up with my fast pace. "And I must insist that you pick a permanent doctor."

"What do you mean?" I asked, slipping into the changing room. Through the door she continued to speak.

"Many OB/GYNs won't take on a woman in her second trimester and you're nearing that cut off. I'll be happy to continue on as your primary doctor but in case you decide otherwise you should choose soon. You'll need another check up in a few weeks anyway."

I secured the button on my jeans with a minor struggle and opened the door to her again.

"I'll come up with something," I lied. I wasn't entirely sure how I'd handle that bit. Honestly, I was just trying to make it through the rest of my day. If I stopped to think about the situation any longer I'd just break down and be useless. I had to get Lissa back to Court and settled before I was allowed to do that.

Dr. Reed nodded. "Just have your doctor contact my office and we'll fax over the records from this visit." I gave her some sort of acknowledgement as we headed to the waiting room.

"Thanks for everything," I murmured as I put my hand on the doorknob.

"Wait!" I gave an irritated noise of complaint as the doctor disappeared through another doorway, leaving me for a moment before returning with a strand of photos. "For you," she explained handing me the photos. They were ultrasound photos. Five different stills from my exam, each with the word 'baby' written in white with an arrow pointing to the small bean-like blob of life in my womb. "To help break the news. Besides," she smiled. "First photos of your child are irreplaceable."

I stared at them for a moment before swallowing hard and nodding. "Thank you," I choked out. I did my best to sound grateful, because underneath my confusion and panic I really was grateful for her help. And I think she knew that too.

She nodded to me one last time and I disappeared through the door, carrying not only the pictures and the knowledge of the situation, but also the small ball of warmth that seemed to have suddenly formed in my womb, impossible to ignore.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

 **Authors Note** : I try to avoid a lot of authors notes, mainly because I always get disappointed when I see a high word count on an update only to realize that its 50% AN. But I will make a brief one now.

I just want to thank you all for the reviews. I read all of them and it's amazing to know people are reading and liking what I have to say. I always listen to advice given and it makes my day to hear that my updates brighten someone else's. Thank you all for reading!

-NightWrighter511

* * *

12

The women's clinic, despite being associated with the university, was located a block away from the actual campus. I passed by a pharmacy on my way back and ducked in to pick up the vitamins Dr. Reed had prescribed. Only once I set foot on the campus again did I slip my earpiece back in and reconnect with my world.

I tapped in mid-way through Daniel's check-in.

"—clear near the garage. We can bring up the SUV's but Rose still hasn't checked in yet. We shouldn't move without her," he was saying. I'd been working with him long enough to detect the slight strain in his voice; he was worried. Not that I could blame him, exactly, I had been gone a while.

"You can stop pining over me, Suarez, I'm right here," I chimed in, skillfully dodging a co-ed attempting—and failing—to impress some girl with his non-existent skateboarding skills.

There was a moment of silence over the connection before Daniel responded.

"Damn, Hathaway," he sighed, relief evident in his voice. "Nearly three hours of radio silence. We were beginning to worry."

"I'm touched," I quipped. "Ran into some setbacks but nothing to worry about. Bring the cars around, I'll swing by and join Lissa."

* * *

I found Lissa exactly where I knew she'd be. Once upon a time I would have known because of our bond. Now I knew because it was my job and, life altering news or not, I had a job to preform. Whoever had told the Strigoi of our location in January still hadn't been caught and every trip to campus was a risk.

Lissa looked relieved when she saw me waiting for her outside of the classroom.

"Are you okay?" she asked without preamble.

"I'm not dying," I assured her as I took up my position as her other near guardian after a nod from Stella.

"Really?" she asked. "Because you took forever. I was worried you were getting bad news."

Bad news? Not exactly.

"I'm fine. The doctor said nothing was wrong; it will pass eventually."

Eventually. As in seven more months. But I wasn't about to get into it with her now. I needed time to process this on my own before telling anyone and maybe, just maybe, Dimitri deserved to know before Lissa. And as much as I liked them, my fellow guardians definitely didn't need to know first either.

Lissa looked unconvinced, maybe she was reading my aura again, but let it be. I was thankful for that.

Compared to the rest of the day the trip home was fairly uneventful. I never let my guard down and beat back the distracting thoughts that tried to make their way into the forefront of my mind repeating my new mantra: "focus now, panic later". It was an immense relief to pass through the guard gates on the edge of Court grounds and feel the comforting embrace of the wards surrounding us once more. As was our habit after Lehigh visits, the guard dispersed upon arrival, another Court guardian and myself were the only two to escort Lissa to her rooms.

"You're sure you are okay?" she asked as we finally paused at the doors to her apartment. The Court guardian had taken up his position in the hallway, doing the guardian thing of seeing without seeing, completely ignoring our conversation—or so it appeared.

"Yes," I lied, turning so my back was to the guardian. Lissa's gaze seemed to lose focus for a second, something she often did when observing auras. I knew she had probably seen the lie in mine but I wasn't about to give her an opening to comment on it. "I'll see you later," I called as I made my retreat, leaving my best friend and her worried expression behind.

* * *

I ran my hand over the flat expanse of my belly, scrutinizing my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I did. I'd been in this exact position, stripped to my bra and panties in front of the mirror, since I'd walked through my apartment door some time ago. I narrowed my eyes as I took in my slim waist, the smooth swell of my hips, and perfectly flat stomach. To my keen eyes I saw no outward indication that a baby was growing inside my uterus. To my own eyes my body looked just as toned and fit as it had since I'd graduated and become a guardian. But I had to be wrong. There were angry red indentations across my pelvis where my pants had hugged me just a little too tightly. I'd noticed that before, just before my birthday when I'd brought it to Dimitri's attention. It had been over a week since then. My body was changing, I just hadn't been able to see it yet.

My eyes flickered to the edge of the mirror where I had tucked the strip of black and white photos. I may not have been able to see any changes on the outside but my insides definitely had.

I still didn't quite see how the shadows in the picture were supposed to be a baby but that heartbeat had been real enough for me.

"Okay baby," I said to my stomach, trading in the reflection for a downward view of my stomach. "I believe you're there. The question now is _how?"_ I mean, I'd had the birds and the bees talk when I was in seventh grade health class and knew how a baby was made. But along with that talk I'd also gotten the 'dhamphir + dhampir = nothing' talk. That was where my confusion came from. "Also," I added, "what the hell am I going to do about you?"

The baby was coming. Regardless of how it had been conceived my baby was cooking and once that timer hit forty weeks I'd be popping out a mini Dimitri or Rose. How would others look at it? Dimitri? Our friends and families? Would they believe me? They couldn't possibly think that I'd cheat on Dimitri. Not after all that we'd been through and how strangely perfect we were for each other. Anyone who knew us—or knew of us—knew how perfectly in love we were with each other. Nobody could doubt my fidelity.

But they would. People always would.

But would Dimitri? I could put up with what any other person said about me as long as Dimitri believed that the child was his. He wanted kids, he had for years, and now it was happening. Would he take true joy in raising his own child or would he spend his life thinking that he was raising another mans child?

And if everything went smoothly how would we raise this child? Dimitri had experience with Viktoria and Paul but I didn't. The youngest person I'd ever hung out with for any length of time was Jill and a four-year age gap didn't qualify as parenting experience. And if I managed to somehow not kill the child out of neglect how would I provide for it? I worked a lot but guardians—even guardians to a Moroi queen who was fighting for equal wages and dhampir rights—didn't bring in a big salary. We made enough to survive. Dimitri and I led a comfortable life because we didn't pay for much. We were appointed Court housing and didn't pay any bills other than food. To suddenly add a baby to that? Well we'd burn through our savings and then some within the first year. And God forbid something happened to one or both of us on the job?

Well.

I'd grown up with a school for a mother but I hadn't liked it. I resented my mom for it for the longest time. I couldn't imagine letting any child of my own experience such harsh feelings towards me.

What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't have this baby, could I? Too many things could go wrong!

I jerked away from the bathroom vanity where I'd braced myself while submerged in my musings. I stumbled from the bathroom and into the bedroom, diving straight for the bed. I scurried under the blankets and quickly buried myself, whether because I was cold or because I was trying to hide from my own problems I wasn't sure. I didn't succeed in escaping the latter. Treacherous images of a possible future flashed before my eyes: disdainful looks following me everywhere as I waddled through Court grounds, a veritable basketball stuffed under my shirt. Dimitri watching a dark haired little girl play, a doubtful expression on his face as he told her not to call him 'daddy'. A little boy, five years old, going to live in a dhampir dorm across the country after his parents were killed in the line of duty.

So many things could go wrong. I flopped over under the covers, burying my face in Dimitri's pillow. The lingering scent of his aftershave permeated my frantic train of thoughts, grounding me and helping me see sense. Yes, things could go wrong…

But…so many things could go right, too. Dimitri and our friends and family could accept the truth and we could raise our beautiful child as a family. I could potentially discover a type of love that I'd never known existed, that I'd never known I'd wanted until then. Already I felt a strange sort of protectiveness over my child. I may not have been planning for it or known it existed until a few hours ago but even now I felt a longing to protect my child and a surge of anger towards anyone who theoretically dared to question its parentage.

I needed to put a stop to my negative thoughts right now and just let life unfold as it would.

And that started with telling people.

* * *

I didn't have to wait too long.

I had the next day off of work and decided that it would be a good time to sit on the couch in my living room and stare hopelessly around the place, mentally making a list of what would have to change in order to accommodate my new life.

I'd just gotten past baby proofing the kitchen cabinets—with images of a mini-me with her devious streak hiding in cabinets while Dimitri and I scrambled around frantically looking for her—when my phone rang. Lissa's name popped up on the screen and, for perhaps the first time in my life, I let it go to voicemail. Probably not the best decision because twenty minutes later—after I'd added outlet covers and toilet locks to my list—there was a knock at my door.

"Don't bother ignoring me," Lissa called through the door after I made no attempt to answer her first round of knocking. "I know you're there. I'll just use my key if I have to."

Well damn it if she didn't mean it. Back at the academy I used to love the moments when Lissa would be assertive and stand up for herself. Now, when I was at the losing end of that determination, I didn't find it so endearing.

With no true alternative I tossed aside the throw pillow I'd been clutching and went to answer the door.

Lissa, in her prim and proper pant suit, raised a questioning eyebrow at me as I answered the door.

"What?" I demanded, very aware of Dimitri's overlarge t-shirt that was my only clothing. "It's my day off," I defended myself.

She was unescorted by any guardians, probably they were waiting at the end of the hallway. She pushed her way inside the apartment and to a chair in our tiny eat-in kitchen.

"Please come in," I muttered as I closed the door behind her. I then went to join her at the table, knowing by her posture that I was in for some sort of rebuke.

We stared at each other across the table for a few moments before she finally launched into her tirade.

She held up one finger. "First," she said, "you throw up repeatedly and refuse to go see a doctor. Then," a second finger went up, "you go to a doctor and go missing for three hours. You come back and pretend like everything is okay but I know you Rose," her jade eyes seemed to pierce me to the bone. "And now," a third finger joined the rest, "you ignore my phone call and I come here to find you sulking around a dark apartment."

"Its eleven pm," I pointed out, "its dark outside. What am I going to do? Open some blinds?"

"Sarcasm isn't going to save you now," Lissa declared. "I want to know what's wrong with you. Are you okay, Rose?"

I wanted to come up with some glib comment about my own perfection and how nothing could ever truly be wrong with such a being as myself but I was surprised to find that, instead of a snappy retort, only a choked sob escaped my lips.

Lissa's eyes, narrowed in accusation up until this point, widened in surprise as I suddenly burst out into tears.

"Oh God, Rose!" She was out of her chair and at my side before I could wipe away my tears. She wrapped me in an awkward one-armed hug as she cooed soothingly to me. "Is something really wrong?" she asked. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes," I gasped, trying to regain control of my emotions, "no. I don't know. Lissa I'm scared," I admitted, finally saying it out loud. I may have tried to play it off to the doctor yesterday but I couldn't keep lying to Lissa. I'd done that before, hiding my love for Dimitri back at the academy, and all it had done was hurt our friendship and deprive me of an outlet for all my worries. I desperately needed that outlet now and the words came bubbling out before I could stop them.

"I don't know how it happened and I'm worried that he won't believe me and I'm scared because I don't want him to think I'd go behind his back and I don't even know if I'm really ready for this!" I burst out in a single breath.

"Ready for what? Who? Why would someone be mad?"

"Dimitri," I hiccuped, trying to reign in my sobs. I managed to bring them down from full out blubbering to sniffling.

"Rose, Dimitri loves you," Lissa pointed out. I could tell by her tone of voice that she was confused where this was headed but she grasped on any part of the conversation that she could reassure me about. She shifted her position so that she was kneeling in front of me, heedless of the wrinkled mess she was making of her suit. "Nothing you could ever do would change that for him."

"I'm pregnant," I gasped.

Lissa froze.

The very air between us froze. I could see every dust mote that flew between us as Lissa processed my words.

"What?" she breathed at last.

"You heard me," I sighed. "I'm pregnant."

"But Rose—" she cut herself off but I could still hear her unsaid words as clearly as if we still had the bond. _I thought you loved him._

"I didn't cheat on him!" I practically yelled. I lowered my voice with great effort and continued. "I have only ever slept with Dimitri. I told you, I don't know how it happened! I thought the doctor was crazy when he told me. It wasn't until the _other_ doctor gave me an ultrasound and I saw it for myself that I believed!"

"But that's not—"

"Possible?" I cut her off. "I know, it shouldn't be. But neither should bringing people back from the dead. Neither should Restoring Strigoi be. _But it happens."_

"But how—" she broke herself off, redirecting her line of questioning with visible effort. I could see the struggle happening on her face. The struggle to first accept what I said as true and then to try and puzzle out some sort of plausible explanation. "Why now?" she said instead. "You've been together for years. Why now?"

I shrugged helplessly and then gave her the only bit of information that I could on the timing. "I'm due in October. I conceived around the time of the attack."

I didn't have to specify which attack I was talking about. That had been the small piece of insight I hadn't been able to fully grasp during the ultrasound yesterday. Everything seemed to link back to that day in January.

A light went on behind Lissa's eyes.

"You were hurt!" she exclaimed. "Badly. I healed you and…" she trailed off, eyes widening even more.

"And what?" I demanded. I knew I'd been hurt during the fight, felt the pain, but never truly felt the need to ask the extent of my injuries. I'd been healed and that was all that mattered. My eyes widened in response to my own realization. I'd been healed….

"When I healed you I….well you were bleeding into your abdomen. I put my hand here," she reached out and placed a hand to the edge of my ribcage, "and _here,_ " she placed her other hand over my lower belly. Over my womb.

"Holy shit," I whispered, feeling the burn of her touch as if she were healing me right now. "You did it with spirit."

"What?" she pulled back and gave me a slightly sarcastic look. " _I_ got you pregnant."

"Kind of, yeah," I laughed with her at the audacity of the idea. "Or at least, you helped it happen."

"But how?" her voice was full of wonder. She was still kneeling in front of me, her eyes fixed on my belly as if it would provide all the answers in the world. "I've healed plenty of dhampir women before. Its not like I just fixed your ovaries or something."

I shrugged. "Maybe its not that simple." I thought back to that day and all of the events before and after it. "Maybe its because Dimitri and I had had sex pretty soon before and after the healing. Maybe its because I was shadow kissed or because he was Restored. Who knows? It could be any combination of those factors."

"But to think," Lissa whispered, "dhampirs can have kids together. That would change everything…"

"Yeah," I agreed, not nearly as delighted at the thought as Lissa sounded. Suddenly a whole new situation was presenting itself to me. Maybe dhampirs could possibly be 'fixed'. Maybe we could find ways to have kids together. What then? The entire guardian system revolved around the fact that dhampirs needed Moroi to continue our species. If we took that out of the equation….

"We can't tell anyone," I rushed.

Lissa's growing enthusiasm visibly dulled at my words.

"Why not? Rose this is amazing!" she jumped to her feet and reached out to hug me. "You get to have a family with Dimitri! Dhampirs everywhere could—"

"And then we wouldn't need Moroi," I interrupted. I hated bursting her bubble. A big part of me wanted nothing more than to spread the news. I mean, this was a _major_ breakthrough for my people, but I believed in the guardian system. I believed in protecting the Moroi, not only because it continued our species but because it was the right thing to do. Because, no matter how many pompous old royals liked to spread crap around with their vile words and old customs, Moroi were good. Their magic was beautiful and they needed to be protected. I couldn't let _me_ be the reason such a system fell apart.

Lissa was a queen though. Not only of Moroi but of dhampirs. She loved all her people and wanted to see them happy and afforded all the rights they deserve. Which made the situation extremely difficult for her.

I could see the realization dawning on her too.

"Think about it, Liss," I urged. "So many people would die if the guardians no longer protected the Moroi. We need to be careful with this. Besides," I tried to cheer her up a little bit. "I'm probably just a freak. Some weird combination of spirit overload between me and Dimitri made this happen. It might not be possible for others."

She was silent for a moment before finally nodding. "Life just got a whole lot more complicated."

"Tell me about it," I sagged back in my chair, relieved to have told someone the truth at last.

She gave me a wry smile. "I'm happy for you though," she said. "Who would have thought? You having a baby before me?"

I scoffed. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure there's a long list of people out there who would prefer if I didn't procreate."

She laughed. "I'm sure there's a list for me too."

We dissolved into helpless giggles as the tension passed. A few minutes later we were curled up side by side on the couch as Lissa fawned over the ultrasound photos I'd showed her.

"How can you say its cute?" I demanded. "You can't see anything yet! It probably looks like an alien."

She laughed. "Come on. Tell me this doesn't make you melt a little? To see the baby growing inside of you?"

"Maybe a little," I admitted, thinking back to the strong _woosh woosh woosh_ of the heartbeat I'd heard yesterday and the amazing feeling it brought with it. "I just still don't know how I'll get Dimitri—or anyone for that matter—to believe me."

"He will," she assured me vehemently. "Dimitri knows you love him and would never believe you'd betray him. Besides, I can see in your aura that you're telling the truth. I'll tell him that."

"I hope so," I sighed. "I can't imagine what I'll do if he doesn't believe me."

"You won't have to find out." I admired Lissa's certainty. Then again, she'd never lived with the knowledge that she couldn't have a child with the love of her life. "Dimitri will be a wonderful father. He's ready for it. You know he is."

"I do," I nodded in affirmation. "I just hope that I am."


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

13

"She's a kumquat!" Lissa crowed through the phone. I blinked, startled. I'd just finished my Sunday morning training session with my team and my mind was still on maneuvers and countermeasures.

"A what?" I demanded, taking a towel from my gym bag and quickly wiping my brow. George and Stella gave me curious looks but I waved them off and turned my back to them, continuing my conversation in a much quieter tone. "What the hell is a kumquat?"

I could practically hear Lissa shrugging. "I don't know, some kind of fruit? The website says it's bigger than a grape but smaller than a fig, which is how big she'll be in a few days."

"I don't even know how big a fig is."

"Not that big. Are you purposefully trying to mess with me?" she demanded testily.

I chuckled. "You make it easy. Now why are you comparing it to fruit?"

"'It' is a 'her' and because that's what the website compared her to."

"You don't know it's a girl yet," I pointed out. Lissa had known about the pregnancy for two days—only one day less then myself—and she'd taken it upon herself to research as much as she could in her spare time.

"Call it a gut feeling. You're missing the point! The baby is growing! The website also says that you'll be feeling less morning sickness soon—"

"Morning my ass," I interrupted, thinking about the three times I'd vomited yesterday alone. "Try 'whenever the fuck it feels like it'."

"—and that you'll need maternity clothes soon," she continued on as if I hadn't said anything. "This is so exciting!"

"Yeah," I agreed. "Trading in vomit for getting fat."

"Don't be such a pessimist," she chided. "You need to get more excited about this!"

I sighed. "Liss," I said, ducking into an isolated alcove so that I could talk in relative privacy. "It's not that I'm not excited, or even happy for that matter because I am. It's just that I'm nervous about it. And I really need to talk to Dimitri."

"I know," she sounded morose. "He'll be home in a few weeks and then you can tell him." Yes, yesterday on top of everything else I'd been coping with Dimitri had called to inform me that he and Christian had been delayed at Alder and their trip would be extended a week or two. I'd really started to panic after that. "Or you could call him, you know."

"I'm not telling him about this over the phone." I'd been adamant about that when I'd originally told her and I still was today, extended trip or no. That was a conversation Dimitri and I needed to have face to face.

"Well then, how about you go see him?" she suggested. "You have plenty of vacation time saved up. Drive up to Alder and tell him in person."

I was already shaking my head, though she couldn't see it. "No," I disagreed. "I can't. He's busy working and so am I. You have that conference in Pittsburgh next week and I'm busy prepping for it. I'm better off waiting until he gets back. Maybe by then I'll have figured out how to tell him about Kumquat."

"I'm sure he'll be patient and underst—did you just call your baby 'kumquat'?" she demanded, cutting herself off.

I smirked.

"Yup. You know, I wasn't quite sure about it at first but now the name's kind of sticking." I slipped from the alcove and cut across the gym, heading back to my apartment where I could shower and get ready for my logistics meeting with Hans. I hadn't lied when I'd told her that I had a lot to do to prepare for her meeting next week.

"Oh Rose, no!" she sighed. "Don't doom your kid to the name 'Kumquat'."

"It's your fault," I blamed her. "You don't like me calling it an 'it' so I'll call it Kumquat. Congrats, you just named your godchild."

"This is not how I anticipated this conversation going…"

* * *

I winced as yet another person came into the conference room. Since the attack in January I'd done my level best to keep the knowledge of Lissa's day-to-day movements inside and outside of Court to a minimum. It was on a need to know basis and honestly, I only considered my team and Hans under that umbrella. For the big conference in Pittsburgh, however, that idea got scrapped. The conference itself was nothing out of the ordinary, Lissa meeting with some ritzy royals and non-royals alike who lived in Pittsburgh to talk about some legislation that had recently passed. She held such meetings fairly often. What was unusual about this meeting was that it was taking place in a building that was not warded, in the middle of a popular city, and would be an overnight venture.

Also, Pittsburgh was a Strigoi hotspot, particularly over the past few years.

So, not only were Hans and my team at this logistics meeting, but so were the backup guardians that would be sent ahead to secure the location, Lissa's scheduler, her event planner, the Moroi non-royal who was organizing the conference and an Alchemist contact in the city who was joining us via web cam. Someone sat down a glass of water beside me and I looked up, slightly startled to see Ambrose. He gave me a winning smile, one I returned with a quiet 'thanks' as he moved on, working with two more servers to cover the room.

And apparently serving staff, too.

Way too many people.

"Hans," I hissed to the stalwart old man on my left.

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye but otherwise didn't acknowledge that I'd spoken.

"Seriously Hans there are too many people here."

"Hathaway," he sighed. "I know you have your hang-ups about telling too many people about the Queen's movements—"

"They're not hang-ups," I interrupted.

"—but there is no proof," he continued unperturbed, "that your conspiracy theory holds any merit."

"Its not a conspiracy theory!" I interjected, appalled. "It's not that far fetched of an idea."

"There is no proof," he repeated. The old man had gotten better at dealing with me over the years, I'd give him that. He wasn't nearly as quick to lose his temper during our conversations as he once was. "Despite your best efforts to keep her movements quiet people know where the Queen will be. It's been three months and there's been no more attacks."

"Because we've been keeping it quiet!" I couldn't believe he was actually arguing this. If there hadn't been an attack it was because we were succeeding! Why stop now?

I said just as much.

"This conference is a big deal," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He did that a lot when I was annoying him. "Everyone knows she'll be there."

"Maybe," I conceded, "but they don't need to know the rest. Times, routes, where she's staying, those are all the weak points and you're broadcasting them to all of the Moroi society!"

I gestured to the jam-packed room. The meeting hadn't officially started yet so there was still a fair amount of movement and conversation amongst everyone, but our whispered conversation was definitely attracting attention, particularly from the guardians in the room.

"Enough," Hans snapped, truly looking at me for the first time during the conversation. His gaze was hard and immovable. He would clearly not be swayed on the topic. "You may be her lead guardian but I am Head Guardian here and what I say goes. Organizing this trip so that it moves smoothly is the top priority. We have conducted such events the same way for longer than you've been alive."

"But there haven't always been psychotic, anti-establishment Moroi willing to sell their queen out to _Strigoi_ before! It changes things."

"You don't think other monarchs have faced adversity before? Of course they have!"

"Oh I know they have," I said deadpan. "And look where that left Tatiana."

He flinched visibly at that reminder. Technically she had been killed under his watch….by a psychotic anti-establishment Moroi.

"What happened to her was a tragedy…one that was unforeseeable. Tasha Ozera was an anomaly."

"Yeah?" I questioned. "I was told the same thing about spirit users and shadow kissed people. How many are we up to now?"

"That is enough out of you, Guardian Hathaway," he snapped. I could see that I'd pushed him to his limits. "One more word against me and you won't have to worry about this meeting because you won't be here, just like you won't attend the conference in Pittsburgh."

I stared at him in disbelief. He wouldn't take me off the assignment. Couldn't, could he? I was Lissa's head guardian.

I felt a hand on my arm. "Lay off, Rose," Stella hissed. She was seated on my other side and had obviously been paying attention to the conversation. "Pick your battles."

I slid back in my seat and hunched over, the picture of a chastised subordinate.

Han's watched me carefully for a few more moments before nodding, satisfied, and calling the meeting to order.

I watched the room wearily during the entire meeting, searching faces for ay indication of subterfuge. I saw none.

 _Pick your battles,_ Stella had said. That was the problem. This was one battle I'd already picked.

* * *

I felt pretty bad about going behind Han's back. I mean, he hadn't completely ordered me off the trail of a Moroi dissident but his intentions had been clear enough. I'd once sworn that I'd love Han's forever when he had believed that Dimitri had been truly Restored before the rest of the general public had. He had helped clear Dimitri's name and I had been grateful. I still was but on this subject I disagreed with him. He thought I was wasting my time but I knew in my gut that I was right about this.

It was with that conviction that I locked myself in my apartment later that night and pulled out my cell phone. It wasn't a number I called often but I had it memorized and I felt that uncanny fluttering in my stomach as I punched in each digit.

Ridiculous really, seeing as I was calling my dad.

" _Merhaba_ ," he said after the third ring.

"I know you have caller ID, old man," I said impatiently. "You know its me so speak English."

He gave a short, unamused laugh. "You're Turkish and Scottish. Maybe you should learn some of your mother tongues before demanding that."

"Too late now," I said.

"Aren't you learning Russian?" he asked, unperturbed.

"Yeah I am," I agreed. "And if you want to be useful you can teach me the swear words. Dimitri still won't."

"You swear enough in one language," Abe said "I hardly think it will be fair to the world if you did it in two."

"That's what he said, too," I grumbled.

This time his laugh was genuine.

"As much as I enjoy sharpening my wit against your own I assume there is a reason behind this call?"

Cutting straight to the point there, wasn't he? I couldn't really object to that, seeing as I did that myself on occasion. In fact, I was often known for my bluntness. Over four years after the fact and I was still coming to grips with being Abe's daughter. I'd accepted it for fact, but that didn't always make it easy.

"Yeah, I want to exploit your endless resources and limitless knowledge for things you shouldn't know."

He sounded interested. "What trouble are you in now? Or is it trouble you're planning?"

"That's yet to be seen. I'm not sure."

I could practically feel his curiosity through the line but with it also the restraint he exercised to push it back.

"What is it?" he asked.

"If I give you a list of names can you get me all of the information you have on them? Business life, personal life and secret lives?"

There was a brief moment of silence before he said, "Just let me get a pen."

* * *

"I don't know, comrade," I sighed into the phone I had propped between my shoulder and ear. "I've gone over the guest list a hundred times and I've counted at least a dozen people who could want Lissa off the throne." I glared accusingly at the papers scattered before me on the hotel bed. Abe had sent them to me last week and I'd been studying them ever since.

We had arrived safely in Pittsburgh a few hours ago and had installed ourselves at the top hotel in the city. I'd run a survey of the establishment with the rest of my team—though it had been thoroughly searched and cleared by other guardians over the past two days—and finally retired to the room I shared with Lissa. I was technically off duty but that didn't stop me from keeping on high alert. It also didn't stop me from trying to identify potential threats. Hans may not think that someone from Court was out to get Lissa killed but my gut still said otherwise.

"Some of these people have lost big since Lissa claimed the throne. Andria Lazar built a huge resort for Moroi during the last few years of Tatiana's rule. She made most of her income off of the old idea that we're safer in large groups. But since Lissa's been pushing Moroi magic use her business has tanked. She's belly up right now. And Richard Zeklos, he apparently spent a lot of time wining and dining the council members during the age vote in order to get it passed. Who knows what he was to gain for it but obviously he didn't. Fredrick Voda, Jacob Ozera, Evette Drozdov, they all have motive!"

Dimitri listened patiently to my rant; the only sound on his end of the line was his rhythmic breathing. When I finally talked myself out he responded.

"Don't go looking too hard, Roza," he cautioned me, and I sensed a zen lesson coming on. "You might focus on one thing only to overlook the true reason."

"You're right," I sighed, flopping backwards into my nest of pillows. Lissa, comfortably tucked into the other bed beside me and reading over her notes for the next day, spared me an amused glance before returning to her work. "It's just that I know someone is behind the attack and this is the best chance since then to make a move. I don't want to miss the signs by not knowing where to look."

"If Lissa is with you she'll be safe," Dimitri counseled me. "What you need to do now is relax and get some rest. The best thing you can do to prepare for tomorrow is be well rested."

"You don't think anything will happen," I accused him.

"Do you want something to happen?" he countered.

"No," I admitted grudgingly. "I'd be an idiot if I went looking for a fight. But I'd also be a fool to ignore the signs."

Dimitri chuckled. "You know, it wasn't long ago that you _did_ go looking for fights."

"Yeah well, that was a different time, comrade. I'm a different person now." Almost automatically my free hand came up to rest on my belly and over the houseguest inside.

I saw Lissa look over at the gesture. I could almost hear her thinking: _are you going to tell him?_

No, I wasn't. Not on the phone. Not in the middle of a conversation about an anticipated fight. If I told him the truth he'd probably drive straight from Alder to Pittsburgh and drag me back to Court. I didn't want to get in a fight, not only because it was dangerous and would mean that I was right about a traitor, but because a fight could be disastrous for the small being inside me that I was starting to come to terms with and love.

"A wonderful person," Dimitri agreed, unaware of the tangent my thoughts had taken. "One who is wise, resourceful and good at her job. You have nothing to worry about Roza, you'll be fine."

"Glad to have your confidence," I chirped happily before lowering my voice to nearly a whisper. "I can't wait until you come home," I said. "I need to see you. To talk to you in person."

"I know, Roza," he sighed. "I feel the same way, believe me."

I gave a strangled laugh. "Trust me, I still have a few curve balls in me that even you won't see coming."

"I'm sure you do."

We were silent for a few breaths, just listening to each other and enjoying our connection despite the hundreds of miles between us.

I spoke at last. "I love you, Dimitri. You know that, right?"

"I love you too, Rose."

"And I always will."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

14

"So, as you can see Your Majesty, we aren't fighting for the complete withdrawal of Moroi from the human world, just the limitation of interactions. We are aware of your—er—time among the humans and your friendship with the Alchemists," the disdain in the speakers voice was evident, "but that does not change the fact that humans are a great risk to our society. Why live in big cities infested with humans when we can create smaller towns that are self-sustaining? We'd reduce the risk of exposure _and_ Strigoi attacks. With so many guardians around and the wards, the Strigoi will be all but powerless." I felt a muscle in my jaw twitch, the result of grinding my teeth together with such force while listening to Fredrick Voda's impassioned appeal to Lissa.

Lissa nodded, imbuing the simple gesture with the regal wisdom she seemed to carry as queen.

"You bring up some good points, Lord Voda, many of which have been brought up in previous discussions of this type. And you speak them with such passion that I cannot doubt your sincerity. I promise to take your concerns and opinions into consideration in the future."

The Voda lord flushed with pride and gave a slight bow to Lissa. "Thank you, Your Majesty."

He moved on to another crowd leaving Lissa and I looking after him with mixed feelings of disdain and befuddlement.

"Well he was slimy," I interjected once he was out of hearing range. "And stupid. There are so many things wrong with his plans starting with the fact that Moroi need humans for blood and ending with humans staking wards."

Lissa shrugged. "He is one of those people who choose to ignore the evidence of human involvement with Moroi." Despite the absurdity of that idea, there were a large number of Moroi who refused to believe or acknowledge the human factor in Strigoi attacks. They did not like to admit that an 'inferior' race was fighting back.

"Scary to think that his opinion gets so much attention," I muttered. Lord Voda had been going from group to group throughout the day, spreading his stupidity. I'd heard whispered conversations about it all day before actually meeting the man.

"Rose," Lissa sighed. "I'm sorry you don't like the man. I'm not saying that I do either. But politics isn't about liking people. It's about finding people with power and using them as a conduit to effect change. You may not like Lord Voda but he's got a lot of pull with the royals, particularly his second cousin, Lloyd Badica." Oh. I was beginning to see her point. Lloyd Badica held the Council seat for his family and was notoriously against anything that Lissa proposed in order to advance our society out of the dark ages. Lissa saw the dawning realization in my eyes and nodded in confirmation. "So I had to listen to his obnoxious comments and stupidity for a while. By doing so I established a connection with him. I've listened to him and promised to consider his opinions in the future, now when I introduce my bill for guardian reallocation in a few months I'll remind him of that and he'll feel obligated to listen to me."

Guardian reallocation was Lissa's way of referring to her plight to remove the biased lottery system of guardian appointment. She wanted to take away the current system for assigning guardians and restructure the system so that individuals—royal or non-royal alike—who lived high risk lifestyles were the first to get guardians assigned to them. Those who lived in larger communities—like many of the royals who lived at Court year round—didn't get guardians assigned and instead temporarily employed campus and Court guardians when making excursions outside of the wards. It was bound to upset a lot of entitled royals—including many of her Council members. But Lissa was adamant. Many victims of the increased Strigoi killings over the past few years had been non-royals who lived in human cities and had no guardians. A few victims had been royals with guardians but their numbers were significantly smaller.

Further, Lissa wanted to create a hierarchy in guardian assignments. Those guardians with less connections and less to leave behind if killed (i.e. those without children and family connections) would be assigned charges while those guardians who were parents or had people who they worried about leaving behind, had the jobs less likely to result in fights—like working at academies. I wondered briefly if that meant Dimitri and I would forcibly be reassigned to desk jobs or teaching jobs once our baby was born but quickly pushed the thought aside. The hierarchy was voluntary; if I didn't request an easier job I wouldn't be subjected to it. And I definitely wouldn't volunteer for that. I wouldn't volunteer for anything other than guarding Lissa. Overall, her plans were impressive. They wouldn't take away any guardian jobs or reduce the number of guardians actively protecting charges, it would just take both dhampirs and non-royals into consideration without putting royals in bodily harm.

She'd have a damned hard time passing it through the Council and could use any help she could get.

"Huh," I said, impressed by her logic. "Politics may not be about liking people but apparently its about strategically placing pawns so you're three steps ahead." To get the hard won Badica vote could potentially sway other stubborn voters on the Council.

Lissa laughed. "Now you're getting it."

"But really," I went on, "you've spoken to Fredrick Voda, Evette Drozdov and two other people on my watch list. What are you playing at?"

She rolled her eyes. "As queen I must talk to many people."

"But…" I prompted her.

She smiled grudgingly. "But I've decided to do a little investigating and bridge building of my own. I'm not about to change my own beliefs and the way I rule but I'm willing to show others that I'm not so radical in my ruling. I'll listen to everyone and do what's best for the majority."

"And that," I said with emphasis, "is what makes you such a great queen."

She reached out and squeezed my hand briefly. "Yeah but I learned my investigatory skills from you. All that sleuthing you did at the academy? It kind of rubbed off on me."

And with that she moved towards a group of Zeklos' lords, to sleuth or build bridges I didn't know.

Maybe the two weren't so different after all.

* * *

"Thank God we're done," I said, kicking my feet up on the center counsel. "My feet are killing me. Ambrose was right, we need to get more comfortable shoes for guardians."

"Get those nasty feet away from me," George snarked, elbowing my feet away from him in his passenger location.

"Meanie," I grumbled, retracting my feet reluctantly. Lissa, still clad in her regal lace and pearl rosegold dress from the conference, pulled a sheet of paper from a folder at her side and quickly scribbled a note on it before passing it to me.

 _You never complained before. I bet it's another pregnancy symptom._

I glared at her before taking the proffered pen and responding.

 _If so I'm going to kick Dimitri's ass. I spend too much time on my feet to deal with swollen ankles._

Lissa giggled and scrapped the paper before switching over to normal conversation.

"What time do you think we'll get back?" she asked, glancing at the two o'clock sky dubiously. It was a four hour drive back to Court and despite the slightly later then anticipated start we had gotten we were still due to get back within a comfortable window of daylight.

"By four," I answered. "Five at the latest. It doesn't get dark enough for Strigoi until after six thirty," I added in response to her suddenly troubled look.

"It's not that," she assured me, catching my confusion. "I have a meeting with the Council at eight," she admitted and I winced in sympathy. She'd spent all of the human day smoozing the royals in Pittsburgh and now she'd be expected to go almost directly to another Council meeting. She'd be lucky if she could function on such lack of sleep.

"Take a nap," I invited her. "We'll be fine while you rest."

"Oh no," she said. "I couldn't do that to you guys. Besides, there really is no point. I'd probably be more cranky if I get only a little rest."

I gave her a scrutinizing look. "I fail to see how that would work."

"Studies show—" she began.

"Aaaaannnndddd I don't care," I cut her off. "Start spewing statistics and _I'll_ be the one to fall asleep."

"This is why you almost failed Elemental Statistics," Lissa badgered, annoyed at my lack of interest in the facts and studies she tried to present to me. In the rearview mirror I could see George and Alan smirking.

"No," I countered. "I almost failed that class because you wouldn't keep your exams on the left side of your desk like I asked. How was I supposed to see the answers when you had your arm blocking it?"

"You were supposed to provide your own answers."

"Then I _really_ would have failed."

"And to think," Alan cut off our bickering. "The woman who is the leader of our people and advocate for dhampir rights wouldn't even let a lowly dhampir copy her homework. How selfish."

"Exactly!" I crowed. "That's what I'm—wait!" I interrupted myself and turned to glare at the back of his head. " _Lowly_? Watch what you say Guardian before I have you reassigned for insulting your superior."

"That's the true flaw in the guardian system," George lamented over Lissa's smothered giggles. "Putting trigger happy green guardians in charge of older, wiser guardians."

"Oh yeah," I rolled my eyes, "'wise'. Tell me, George, how wise did you feel when I knocked you on your ass at practice the other day?"

"Well I—" he sputtered.

"Exactly. Our system is spot on, recognizing natural talent and putting it to good use. Sorry you weren't born with my natural skills."

"Oh yeah, a list of Hathaway innate skills include: wiseass remarks, fluent swearing and general ass-kickery,"

"Don't forget a pension for getting into trouble," I added helpfully.

"Oh who could forget tha—"

"Boss," Xavier's voice came over my earpieces. I startled slightly, having been completely absorbed in our banter—something a guardian should never do.

"Go ahead," I responded.

"There are signs ahead for a detour."

"A what?" I demanded, tuning into our surroundings for the first time in a while. We had gotten further than I'd realized. Sure enough in the distance I could make out the shape of highway patrol signs, flashing an unreadable message. "Why?" I demanded. Xavier's car was first in the line and he was able to read what the signs were saying.

"Rock fall," he responded promptly. "They're diverting through town."

Damn. As a precaution we had four different routes planned out between Court and Pittsburgh. The one we were on was the most direct route and would get us back to Court the quickest. I glanced out the window at the steadily lowering sun. A few more hours until total darkness. That wouldn't have been a problem on our current route but our other options…

Two of them would definitely get us behind wards after dark. The last option would get us there just in time but…I hesitated on making the call. The SUV was slowing down as it encountered traffic. I'd need to make a call now. The detour was definitely out. It wasn't on our approved list and I wasn't risking it. But something felt strange about this situation. There hadn't been a rock fall in this area in decades. The state was diligent in making sure that the strength of the mountain walls were constantly monitored and preemptive measures were taken. I found it hard to believe that this rock fall was a random occurrence.

If that was the case…then someone had planned it. For the past three months I'd been very careful about who knew our travel plans. But it was common guardian practice to get Moroi behind wards as quickly as possible, that wasn't a secret. If someone was trying to get Lissa out of wards after dark—whether they had access to our plans or not— then the next best thing would be to force our hands.

"Boss? What's your call?" Alan asked, strictly business once again.

"I—" I hesitated.

If this was planned then the next move on our attackers part would be to set a trap on the next available route. Option C was that route, it would get us to Court just before dark but it also included winding back roads…

"Make the call boss. I say we go with C," Xavier said.

"I agree," Stella put in. There were murmurs of agreement across the ear pieces.

"Alright," I said at last, age-old guardian protocol overwhelming my gut feeling. "But I don't like this. Something doesn't feel right."

* * *

That feeling of wrongness intensified as we got further and further down the alternate route. I felt my body tensing as I opened my senses to my surroundings. I could feel the effect I was having on everyone else in the car, my fellow guardians tensed as well, Alan keeping a white knuckled grip on the wheel as we followed Xavier's SUV. Lissa, too, was affected, sitting straight backed and silent as she waited for us to do our jobs.

"Something's wrong," I muttered under my breath, one hand moving to rest on my stake, the other on my stomach. Lissa caught the slight movement, and turned to look at me but I didn't respond, keeping my eyes outside of the car.

When the break lights from the SUV ahead of us flashed I felt my stomach drop down into the floorboards. We were still on the highway segment of the route and there was no need to slow down yet.

"Don't tell me," I said over the ear piece, "another rock fall?"

"No," Stella, a passenger in the first SUV, answered. "Accident ahead. "Highway Patrol is clearing it but it'll take a while."

I swore.

"Get off at the next ramp," I ordered. "Head into town."

"Boss—" George started to protest.

"No," I cut him off. "Do it."

"We should backtrack," Alastair said, "take another route."

"No! don't you see?" I snapped. "They know our routes. Get off at Bloomsburg," I ordered. "We'll make our way to Williamsport and stay the night. Start fresh in the morning…with plenty of sunlight."

"That's not protocol—" Daniel started.

"Screw protocol," I snapped at him. "Something is wrong and I don't know about you but I'd rather keep the queen safe now and deal with Hans later instead of explaining to him why she's dead." Lissa, only privy to half of our conversation, winced.

There was silence for a few moments as the others processed what I'd said. Then, Xavier answered. "Yes, Boss." There was no more conversation but two minutes later as we approached the exit among building traffic, Xavier signaled to exit via the ramp.

* * *

Bloomsburg was a small college town. It was chop full of the quaint, historic architecture that Pennsylvania was famous for including clock towers, steeple roofs and white columns but I took no time to admire it in the growing darkness. The sun was kissing the horizon now.

We'd been traveling on US-80, a quick, unobstructed course—aside from not-so-random accidents—but once in Bloomsburg we had to backtrack through more winding back roads to get to 54 towards Williamsport. A part of me said screw it and get Lissa into a defendable location in Bloomsburg before the sun went down but I couldn't bring myself to condone keeping her so close to what I was viewing as a dangerous trap. Williamsport was the next biggest city I knew of. It was one we'd visited a few times over the years and I was comfortable enough with my knowledge of the place to keep her there for the night on short notice.

I eyed the setting sun dubiously as we wound our way through a more industrial part of town. It was about a forty-five minute drive from here to Williamsport and that left a bit more breathing room than trying to make it to Court over an hour away. I'd take the heat for my decision in the morning when Lissa was safely behind the wards.

"Rose, what is it?" Lissa asked in a whisper, almost as if she was afraid to startle us by speaking too loudly. "Why are we doing this?"

"Something isn't right," I repeated myself. The sun was but a sliver of red above the horizon. "We have four approved routes back to Court. The fastest, safest two were blocked at the same time by different events. Whoever is after you is either trying to funnel us towards a specific route of their choosing or is hoping to keep us like sitting ducks. I'm not willing to risk getting caught after dark on the other two routes. The only thing we can do now is surprise them. They won't expect us to stay put outside of Court tonight. I'm sorry but you'll miss your meeting with the Council."

Lissa shrugged. "Nothing happens without me there anyway."

"That's the spirit," I said, half-heartedly. "Tell those royals to take their pretentious attitudes and stick it—"

The world exploded.

Or at least, the windows of the car did.

There was a jarring impact to my side of the car and suddenly we were flying through the air. I'm sure I screamed but I don't remember it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I blacked out for a moment. I came to with a burning sensation across my shoulder and lap as the seatbelt dug into me. The car was upside down.

I blinked something wet from my eyes—blood? Tears?—and looked around. Lissa hung from her seatbelt beside me, unconscious but with the first stirrings of wakefulness. In front of me Alan and George were struggling to undo their seat belts and fight back the white canvas of the airbags. Around us I could hear the slamming of car doors and shouts of men.

I wasted no time in trying to unbuckle, instead opting for brute force. I slipped my stake from its sheath and swiftly sliced through the belt, landing hands first and shoulder second on the roof below.

With a mumbled oath I reached for Lissa.

"Liss," I hissed. "Lissa wake up."

"Ow," she groaned. She had a scratch down the left side of her face where she'd slammed into the window. It streamed tiny rivulets of blood into her pale hair. Other than that I saw no outward signs of damage.

I reached one arm out to brace her shoulders and then sliced through her belt. She fell with more grace than I had, and landed beside me.

"What happened?" she groaned out.

"Shhh," I hissed, pushing her flat against the roof below. "Stay down and stay quiet." I crawled over her and positioned myself feet first against the door. With a tremendous kick I dislodged the bent and broken door, opening it enough to admit one person.

In the front of the vehicle I could see Alan and George maneuver their own doors open before slipping into the chaotic night.

I followed.

The SUV I'd just left was a crumpled mass of metal that reminded me painfully of the accident that had taken Lissa's family from us and technically killed me. A large pick up truck had rammed us head on on my side of the car. As I straightened up from my crawl I could feel the newly established aches and pains that warned me of a bruised or possibly broken rib or two. There would be time to worry about that later.

Our car had been the only one to be hit, the other SUVs from our caravan remained untouched. They'd come to a screeching halt upon the strike, though, and I could see my team of fellow guardians swarming around the badly lit railroad tracks we'd stopped on, meeting dark figures in combat. Though it was a moonless night, my dhampir eyes could easily detect all I needed to know about our assailants. The speed at which they moved and the strength of their blows labeled them as nothing other than Strigoi.

How had they found us so quickly after sunset? Had the town been a trap? Had I led my team right into it? Or had they simply been driving in blacked out vehicles and following us?

Disregarding how it had happened I focused on the now. Daniel and Stella had closed rank around the SUV I'd just escaped, creating a protective ring with me.

I leveled my stake and waited for battle.

It didn't take long. My first opponent ran straight for me, a blur of pale skin and red eyes. It was a man, probably human or dhampir before he was turned. He wasn't much taller than I was but he was certainly strong. However, he lacked the grace of a fully acclimated Strigoi. If I had to guess I'd say he hadn't been like this for long. When my stake bit into his chest after a few moments he looked completely shocked.

I pushed him aside and greeted my second opponent. This one was harder. She was shorter than I was and had certainly learned to cope with her small size. And she was fast. She danced out of my range every time I got my stake into position and I found myself following her. It was after the third miss that I realized she was leading me away from Lissa. I swore and struck again, first forward in the expected attack and then undercutting my stake, swiping her across the abdomen. She hissed in pain and struck out, landing a glancing blow on my shoulder, before I slipped the unforgiving silver blade between her ribs.

The waves of Strigoi never seemed to end. I didn't know where they were coming from but it was clear that they had numbers on us. We had to get Lissa out.

I'd lost my earpiece, whether in the accident or battle I didn't know. I risked a glance over my shoulder and saw that Stella and Daniel were just finishing up on a Strigoi they'd tag teamed.

"We have to get Lissa out," I called to them over the din. I looked around for the closest vehicle. Our two SUV's were to my right, a large mass of fighting bodies between them and us. Behind us there were fewer challengers. And there were trucks. The Strigoi hadn't all just popped into existence, they'd apparently carpooled with the truck that had hit us. And they were idling.

"Get her to one of them," I said, nodding to the trucks. "Clear a path."

They nodded in understanding before charging into battle.

Alan came forward to cover me as I crouched down and peered into the wrecked car where Lissa pressed herself into the back seat.

"Come on," I commanded, hand outstretched. She clasped my hand with a sweaty palm of her own and I pulled her from the wreckage. Around us the battle ranged but my team managed to hold the majority of them back. I pulled Lissa away from the melee and towards Stella and Daniel as they cut a path for us. Stella slid behind the wheel of one large truck and revved the engine, shooting forward and running over two Strigoi before screeching to a halt in front of us.

I wasted no time in ripping the door open and throwing Lissa in. Daniel, in the back seat, caught her and pulled her in.

I was reaching out a hand for a lift up when something slammed into me from the side.

I went flying through the air for the second time today, only to land in the grasp of another Strigoi.

Well shit.

"GO!" I screamed, having sudden and vivid flashbacks to January when I'd sent Lissa off in a similar situation. "Get out of here now!"

I felt strong hands grab on to my shoulders, holding me down as another Strigoi came up and knocked the stake from my hand.

I recognized a hopeless situation when I saw one. I didn't fight, instead focusing on my charge where she struggled once more to escape the truck.

"Stop them!" ordered my captor, grip tightening on my shoulders.

"GO!" I shrieked above his command as Strigoi started rushing the truck.

Stella obeyed. The last sight I had of the truck was it being thrown into reverse as Stella peeled out of there, hopefully to find a safe, fast route back to Court.

My captor howled in rage.

I felt myself smile. "You lose," I mocked. If I was going to die I'd go out in true Hathaway style. "You let the big fish slip right through your net."

"Who says she's the only fish we were after?" demanded my captor. His voice, I realized, was familiar. It brought me back to a dark alley in Russia where I—along with a couple of rogue dhampirs—had tortured a Strigoi for information. With dawning horror the Strigoi spun me around to face him.

"Hello Rose," Marlen smiled, fangs the only thing visible in the dark. "It's been a while since Russia. We have some catching up to do."


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

15

*Dimitri*

Dimitri didn't scare easily. He faced many things without flinching: bands of roving Strigoi, political intrigue at Court, and even Rose. No, Dimitri didn't scare easily. But when he was given an order by the queen herself to drop what he was doing and return to Court grounds immediately, he began to panic.

What had happened?

Dimitri had received a call from Han's in the middle of the academy morning, ordering him and Christian by royal decree to return to Court immediately, no questions asked. He'd been given no more information than to be on the Court's private jet immediately before Han's hung up. He and Christian passed the two-hour flight in terse silence.

Han's had sounded hardened, more like he was trying to fight off some big emotion, but it wasn't the type of dread and chaos that would follow Lissa's death. That was a relief to Dimitri. So long as Lissa was alive Rose was okay. If Lissa had been dead….well, then Dimitri knew Rose would be too. Rose would never let anything happen to Lissa on her watch. So it could be anything. Lissa was alive, Rose would be with her.

What could possibly warrant Han's dragging them back? If Lissa needed something why hadn't she called them directly?

The plane landed around one and the guardian and charge were greeted by a handful of Court guardians.

"Guardian Belikov, Lord Ozera," they bowed to Christian, "we have orders to bring you to the Court infirmary immediately."

"Infirmary?" Dimitri and Christian snapped in unison. "What happened?" Christian continued, after a shared glance with his friend.

"Please follow us," the guardian who spoke earlier replied, ignoring their question.

For lack of any other answers they followed.

The Court grounds were a flood of daytime activity, people coming and going from lunch breaks, hurrying to make meetings or just meandering about the courtyards and shops as they gossiped. Dimitri noticed that there were more hubs of conversation than usual, the members whispering in quick fury. He sped up his pace.

The infirmary was on the opposite side of the grounds and it took them a good fifteen minutes to get there. If the two men had thought that the courtyards were unusually busy then the infirmary was in downright chaos.

Moroi in nursing uniforms rushed back and forth between cots where wounded guardians lay, a doctor in a white lab coat and a tall blond woman both crowded over one cot midway down the room.

"—think he'll be okay now." Lissa's voice carried in the room and both Dimitri and Christian stiffened at the sound.

"Lissa!" Christian called and was off, running towards his girlfriend. Dimitri followed a step behind.

Lissa whirled around from her position at the bedside and the men got their first real look at her as they came to a screeching halt.

She was covered in blood.

To be fair only some of it was hers. Over the years Dimitri had gotten very good as assessing a situation in a matter of seconds. The majority of the blood on Lissa was on her hands and across the tattered dress she was wearing. Not hers but doubtlessly the blood of other victims she'd cared for. There was a deep cut on her forehead that was starting to seal over, the remaining smudge of blood trailing upwards into her hairline.

"What happened?" Christian demanded, crossing the distance between them in two long strides and taking her into his arms.

Lissa, to Dimitri's surprise, burst into tears. The queen was stronger than many people would guess just by looking at her. She was all soft curls and delicate features on the outside but Dimitri knew of the steel core that it covered. So he was surprised to see her break down so suddenly, heaving great sobs into Christians shoulder.

"What happened?" Dimitri echoed Christian. Looking around he could now see that members of Lissa's guardian detail occupied most of the beds. The patient she'd just tended to was George, bloody, bruised and battered but—apparently—going to make it.

Rose wasn't there.

"T-there was a-an attack," Lissa hiccupped and Dimitri's heart clenched painfully in his chest. "In Bloomsburg. We were trying to get to Williamsport by sunset to hold up. They came out of nowhere!"

"Where's Rose?" Dimitri asked, still scanning the room. Maybe she was running an errand and would be back in a minute. Maybe she was cleaning up at the apartment. But part of Dimitri knew that wasn't true. She wouldn't leave Lissa or her team when they were in this condition. His heart started beating furiously in his chest.

Lissa didn't answer him. "There were so many," she continued. "It was a trap. Rose saw it before all of us. She tried to avoid it but by that time they had us in a net."

"Where is Rose?" he asked a little louder, panic seeping into his words. "She isn't in here. Was she hurt?"

Lissa pulled away from Christian's embrace at last, though taking care to keep in contact with him as she turned to face Dimitri.

"No," she whispered. The words should have brought him relief but the look on her face—the shear misery and shock—had the opposite effect.

He swallowed hard and uttered the worst possible question he could ever ask about his Roza. "Is she dead?"

Lissa shook her head and Dimitri felt himself tense even more. He felt as if he would shatter at the slightest touch.

Not hurt. Not dead. Not here. That left only one real possibility.

Lissa said it for him. "They took her."

"They…took…her?" It came out as a question. Who? Took where? Why? It seemed almost impossible to him. How could someone take Rose? She joked all the time that he was a badass guardian, a god according to students at the academy, but to him, Rose was the strongest person he knew. She was so full of energy and life, so determined to do good and she was a lethal fighter on top of it all. Nothing could really happen to her. Nobody could get the advantage on Rose.

 _You did,_ a dark part of his mind whispered. It was a part he tried to block out most of the time; the part of his mind that held memories of his time as a Strigoi. He'd done so many terrible things; he'd killed people, manipulated them, taunted them. He was responsible for the deaths of many guardians and Moroi. But by far his worst crimes had been what he'd done to Rose. She'd come to save him and he'd taken advantage of her moment of weakness and turned her into what she feared most: a blood whore. He'd wanted to awaken her not because he could feel love as a Strigoi, but because he had felt lust and greed. He'd wanted power and what she could offer him physically, not emotionally. He'd hurt her so many times over and then he'd taunted her, stalked her, and when he'd been Restored he'd continued to hurt her by pushing her away. Rose had forgiven him and even made him forgive himself but that didn't mean he wasn't still haunted by his experiences. He still woke up in a cold sweat occasionally, startled by dreams from his past. So yes, he had taken advantage of her. But he'd always thought it was because he knew her so well and knew how to exploit her weaknesses. Nobody else could ever know Rose as well as he did. Nobody else could ever take down Rose Hathaway.

Right?

"What do you mean they took her?" he snapped, voice hard as the panic truly began to set in.

Lissa looked on the verge of tears once more.

"Everything happened so fast," she whispered. The room around them was silent, the guardians who had been there no doubt reliving the experience as she spoke. "She pulled me out of the car and towards a truck. I don't remember even deciding to move, Rose was practically carrying me. Then I was in the truck and Daniel had hold of me and Stella was driving and Rose—" she cut off, gulping back a sob. Dimitri sank back onto the edge of the nearest cot, ignoring the fact that an unconscious Alastair occupied it. Lissa had recovered herself. "She'd been getting in the truck but then a Strigoi got hold of her. There were too many and she was screaming at us to get out and…I couldn't help her."

Stella was lurking behind her, looking as miserable as the queen. Christian pulled Lissa back into his arms, whispering soothingly to her as she struggled to compose herself.

Dimitri said nothing at first, picturing the scene Lissa had just described.

Of course Rose would tell them to leave. It was her job to get Lissa out and she'd do anything to make sure she stayed safe. But God damn it, sometimes Dimitri wished that Rose could be more selfish. That she had a bit more self-preservation mixed into her protective nature. He wished that they lived in a world where they could be a little more selfish.

"How do you know she was taken?" he asked at last, voice strangled. "She could be dead."

"There was no body," Hans said, speaking for the first time since they'd entered the infirmary. Dimitri hadn't even noticed him standing in the corner, arms crossed. Normally he would have berated himself for that slip up but he was too caught up in what Hans had said to care. Hans continued. "We sent guardians and Alchemists as soon as we got word. Our last reports came in an hour ago. We recovered two bodies," he admitted and Dimitri's heart sank, "but it wasn't Rose." Dimitri was caught somewhere between relief and regret. Who had they lost? Who was he disgracing by feeling relief that one wasn't Rose? "Alan and Xavier," Hans said, seeing Dimitri's questioning look. Lissa buried her face in Christian's shoulder and Dimitri fought back his own regret at hearing that news. "Lots of Strigoi bodies," Hans continued. "But they'd cleared off by then. Rose wasn't anywhere. Alchemists checked the town too, to see if she'd maybe gone off for help. Nothing. No trace of her. The only possibility left is…" he trailed off but the rest didn't need to be said.

"Why would they take her?" Dimitri asked nobody in particular.

"You tell us," Hans responded and Dimitri's head snapped up. He glared at the older man.

"Why would I possibly know that?" he demanded sharply.

Hans held his hands up in a placating manner. "You know how they think," he responded. "The rest of us can guess from experience but you actually know. Do you think they're structured enough to have a real plan or did they just take an opportunity?"

"It was a plan," Lissa snapped, stepping away from Christian and towards Hans. Her eyes were blazing with fury. "They set a trap. I know it, my guardians know it and you know it. Rose was right and you didn't want to listen to her! None of us did! It was all a trap. They took her but they wanted me! This is all my fault!" she flounced down on an empty cot and buried her face in her hands once more.

"Rose had a theory," Hans corrected her. "Its not that I didn't want to listen to her, its that she had no proof."

"Is this enough proof for you?" Lissa demanded, voice cold as she looked up to glare at him. "The first time in months that more than a select few people know about our travel plans and there's an attack? Rose was right to keep things a secret and you went and screwed it up!"

"The meeting was a big deal," Hans defended himself. "We had to coordinate with a lot of people. That's how its always been done."

"Times are different now," Lissa argued. "The Strigoi are doing things differently and we have to adapt."

"Look," Christian interrupted them. "You both can argue about this later. For now lets focus on getting Rose back."

Han's shook his head. "We have no idea where they've taken her or if she's still alive." Dimitri flinched at that reminder. The thought had, of course, crossed his mind that they could either have taken Rose for a snack or turned her. But he had to believe that wasn't true. He'd know. Somehow Dimitri was sure that he'd know if Rose was no longer among the living.

"If the Strigoi knew about Lissa's location then they know about Rose. They know who she is and what she means to Lissa. She's leverage. They won't kill her." Dimitri's voice was hard as stone as he spoke, leaving no room for arguing the point.

Lissa nodded emphatically. "He's right. She's alive. We can get her back. We _have_ to."

Hans was shaking his head again. "Your Majesty you know we don't do rescue missions."

"We have before!" she shrieked. "At the academy! For me for Christ's sake! You led a rescue mission to save me before!" Dimitri flinched again, remembering that he had orchestrated the need for that rescue mission.

"Those were exceptions," Hans argued. "At the academy there were a large group of hostages. It was an acceptable risk. As for you," he glared. "You were the last of your line. Of course we rescued you. But I can't justify a rescue mission for one guardian—"

"The hell you can't," Dimitri roared. "She isn't just one guardian and you damn well know it!"

"Belikov," he sighed. He looked tired and older than ever and Dimitri finally identified the emotion he'd been masking on the phone earlier: regret. "I know what she means to you but I can't do it. We'd end up losing more people in the end just to save one person. I can't authorize it and you know Rose wouldn't want that either."

"What if we volunteer?" Stella demanded, speaking for the first time. She moved forward to be seen by Hans. "I know everyone here would be willing. Rose is one of us. We have to save her."

"See!" Lissa demanded. "Take volunteers. Besides, you don't have a choice." She drew herself up to full height. "As your queen I command that you orchestrate a rescue mission for Rose."

Hans glared. "You forget, Your Majesty, that in regards to guardian business, I have ultimate authority. My position grants me full power over such decisions and after weighing all of the options I respectfully decline your suggestion." He spun on his heels and made for the exit. Dimitri was after him in a heartbeat, Lissa and Christian following.

They caught him in the lobby. It was deserted, the entire infirmary staff busy with the patients inside the main hall.

"Guardian Croft," Lissa pleaded. "You don't understand. This isn't just about getting one guardian back or even my best friend. Rose has an important role in our society! She's head of my guardian detail, she's helping me find and teach spirit users and she's helping train the Moroi magic users! She's at the head of every important movement going on in our society!"

"A great sorrow to us all," Hans sighed. "Look, I'm not saying that I was Rose's biggest fan but I respected her." He was already using past tense. How could he accept her as dead so easily? Dimitri felt rage boiling beneath his skin. He was going to lose it. "I'd never purposefully do anything to harm her but it's a moot point. Nothing you can say will change my mind. We lost some good guardians today, friends and loved ones. We need to mourn and we need to move on." He turned to leave again. Lissa went to follow him but Christian stepped forward, placing a restraining arm around her waist.

"You won't convince him," Christian muttered.

"Wait!" Lissa screamed and then just as quickly bit her lip.

Hans swung around once more, a mixture of exasperation and surprise flitting across his face. Dimitri and Christian were surprised too. Of course Lissa loved Rose. Nobody doubted that, but the panic in her voice had been on an entirely different level just now. Christian's restraining arm dropped away and Lissa took a step towards Hans.

Dimitri's heart was pounding furiously in his chest. He'd already made the decision in his mind that he'd go find Rose all on his own if he had to but the frantic worry and pain in his heart didn't lessen at the resolution. What could Lissa have to say?

Lissa seemed to be at war with herself, some internal struggle over whether she should say more to Hans. The man waited impatiently, arms crossed and scowl on his face.

"Your Majesty, if you would please excuse me," he said after a few moments of silence. "I have a rather large mess to clean up."

"You have to rescue Rose," she said, stopping him from leaving. Her voice was level now, resolved. Dimitri could see in her eyes that she'd made her decision. "You said there wasn't anything I could say to make you change your mind but there is. There's something else."

Hans raised his eyebrow. "Go on."

But she wasn't looking at him now. Instead Lissa turned to Dimitri. The bleak helplessness on her face was heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry," she told Dimitri. "This isn't how you were supposed to find out."

Dimitri's throat was tight. He swallowed hard and then croaked, "Find out what?"

Lissa sighed. "Rose is pregnant," she whispered. "And it's yours."


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

16

Why did it always start with a headache?

It was so cliché. In the few books I'd actually ever sat down and read the main character always complained of a headache when they came to after being knocked out. Of course, it kind of made sense, didn't it? You get knocked out by a blow to the head so of course your head hurts? Sense or not you'd think with how many times I'd been knocked out in my life that I'd be used to it. But no. It still hurt just as bad each and every time.

I forced open my eyes and squinted into the dim room around me. I was lying in an uncomfortable heap on a concrete floor. The first thing I noticed was the cold. The room was freezing. The next thing I noticed were the chains.

Real honest to God chains. And not the wimpy bicycle chain kind either, but instead the heavy-duty get shit done kind of chains. The thick links were each an inch long and about as thick as my pinkie finger. Unbreakable with just my own strength. One end of the chain was shackled around my right ankle, the other end bolted into the concrete floor. My wrists were restrained behind my back but judging by the chafing sensation around my them I was willing to wager that more chains were involved.

It wasn't overly bright in the room but there was a dim light bulb hanging from a wire far above me. It gave off just enough light to survey my surroundings. Three of the walls were made up of cinder blocks, the fourth one was made of metal. I could see the ribbing of bolts holding several large sheets of metal together, a heavy duty metal door inlayed in the center. There was no handle on the inside. Faint noises eked their way through the thick walls: footsteps, the rustling of clothing, the murmur of conversation. I was alone in the room but there were people—Strigoi—close at hand.

Okay, so I was in a type of cell. What type of building could I be in? An old prison? No, I doubted that. There'd be metal bars to my cell if it were. Besides, I didn't think the room was originally intended to hold a prisoner. The bolts holding the metal door in place were different—older—then the ones that fastened the chain to the floor. Obviously, the chain had been a later addition. So really, I had no idea where I was. And why the hell was I even here? Images of the fight came back to me in pieces. We'd been ambushed. I'd thwarted their trap so the Strigoi had taken matters into their own hands by forcing us to stop. There'd been a fight. Lissa had gotten away. I felt relief wash over me as I remembered watching Lissa disappear inside the retreating truck.

Then I remembered Marlen.

Marlen.

Fucking Marlen. I'd thought the bastard was dead. I'd thought Dimitri had killed him back in Russia the night I'd escaped. He'd told me he had. I doubted Dimitri would lie about that so he must not know that Marlen was alive either.

What was he doing in America?

What did he want with me?

I remembered his promise back in Russia. He'd said that he would kill me. I'd cost him a lot. Galina's trust, the other Strigoi's respect. Strigoi had huge egos and hurting his was probably one of the worst things I could have done to him. I'd earned myself an enemy. Not that unusual in my line of work but I hadn't realized that this one was still alive and harboring a grudge.

Okay, so Lissa was safe and I was locked in a cell by Marlen.

Now what?

Carefully I started taking stock of my body.

Headache? Check.

Bruised, possibly broken ribs? Check.

Baby?

"Fuck!" I gasped as I immediately tried to bring my hands forward to cup my belly. My restraints stopped me as my wrists and shoulders wrenched painfully in the attempt.

How the hell could I have forgotten about my baby? Had I even considered the baby during the fight? Had I remembered? No. In such a high stress situation where a seconds pause could mean the difference between life and death I hadn't even had the chance to consider it. I couldn't worry about it if it wasn't there for me to physically protect in the first place. Survival had taken over. But now? Now I could panic.

Had I been hit in the stomach at all? I felt no pain in that area. I glanced quickly between my legs. Between the dimness of the room and the black fabric of my guardian uniform it was hard to tell for sure but I saw no blood.

Okay, so I hadn't miscarried.

I felt my breathing come a little easier.

"You still okay in there, Kumquat?" I whispered to my belly. I wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out and stroke the spot beneath my belly button where I'd become accustomed to believing my baby was. "We'll get through this," I said. "This will be our little secret."

Nobody could know I was pregnant. I could only imagine what Marlen would do with that information.

I had to get out of here. I didn't know what Marlen had planned for me long term but I did know that I couldn't wait too long. Dimitri had kept me prisoner in Russia for weeks. Was Marlen planning on something similar? I was almost three months pregnant. My clothes were already fitting tight. If Marlen planned to keep me for any extended period of time he was bound to notice a few changes.

I had to get out of here. Soon.

* * *

*Dimitri*

" _Rose is pregnant. And it's yours."_

Dimitri stared at Lissa, nonplussed. He had to have heard her wrong. Right? Because there was no way that Rose could be…

Hans scoffed. "That's impossible."

Lissa glared at him. "So is coming back from the dead. So is Restoring a Strigoi. And look where we are today." She turned back to Dimitri and spoke more gently. "She wanted to tell you but she was waiting until she saw you in person."

Dimitri blinked rapidly trying—and failing—to process what she'd said.

"But how?" he sputtered at last.

Christian scoffed. At first his face had shown the blank shock that Dimitri felt but it quickly cleared away, replaced by his usual slightly sarcastic set of the brows. He came forward once more, wrapping an arm around Lissa's waist, this time a show of support instead of restraint.

"I'd think you knew how babies were made by now, Dimitri," he quipped.

Dimitri glared at his charge.

"How is it possible?" he clarified, turning to look searchingly at Lissa. Pleading silently that this was a ploy to get Hans to agree to a rescue. It couldn't be true. If it was that meant...no. No, it couldn't be true. "It's not possible."

Lissa looked beseechingly at both guardians and Dimitri could see it in her eyes, the pain her own admission caused her as well as the ardent wish that she wasn't telling the truth. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Dimitri knew then that she wasn't lying. "She's been sick for weeks and trying to hide it but I found out. I made her go see a doctor last week and they told her she was pregnant."

Hans still looked unconvinced. "No offence Dimitri," he said with a nod in the man's direction, "but she could just be pregnant by any Moroi guy."

Dimitri didn't remember deciding to move. One minute he was staring blankly at Lissa and the next he was standing over a dazed Hans, his knuckles burning from impact.

"Woah, man." Christian whistled, impressed. "That was almost too fast for me to see."

Dimitri was breathing heavily, his rage to a boiling point. It was all too much. Rose was gone, Hans wouldn't send a rescue party, and now Rose was pregnant? He couldn't even begin to process what that meant. All he knew was that Hans had just said Rose was cheating on him and he'd let that happen over his dead body.

"Rose would never cheat on me," he growled at Hans. "If she's really pregnant then there must be some explanation."

Lissa nodded exuberantly. "Yes! She got pregnant the day of the attack at Lehigh! The day she almost died and I used spirit to stop her internal bleeding. We have a theory about that but that's beside the point." She turned back to Hans who was just regaining his footing. "Are you really going to risk the chance that I'm lying and not act? Think about what this could mean for all dhampirs."

Hans rubbed the rapidly purpling spot on his jaw where Dimitri had hit him. Dimitri noticed dimly that Lissa wasn't offering to heal him either.

"If you're lying…" he said at last, letting the threat hang in the air.

Christian was the one to answer. "Think what you will about it being possible or not but the bottom line is that Rose is pregnant. Are you just going to leave a pregnant woman at the mercy of Strigoi?"

Pregnant woman. Rose was pregnant.

Oh God, Rose was pregnant and in the hands of Strigoi.

Dimitri was going to be sick.

* * *

I was alone with my thoughts for a few hours before the door screeched as a lock was retracted. I quickly pressed myself into the furthest corner, trying to get all of the protection I could afford. I had a pretty good idea what was coming through the door.

The heavy door swung inward and a shadowed figure entered.

"It seems to me," Marlen drawled, "that you have a talent for getting yourself captured."

"I could say the same about you," I snapped. "I haven't forgotten our first meeting."

The shadowed figure snarled, white fangs glinting in the sparse overhead light. "Neither have I."

"Speaking of," I said blithely. "How'd you manage to get so many lackeys following you? The last time we met you were in disgrace in the Strigoi community. You weren't worthy enough to scrub toilets even; the humans got that honor. All you got to do was sit and guard a door." I didn't mention that he'd failed at even that, but the unspoken words hung in the air between us. Maybe I shouldn't antagonize an angry Strigoi but I knew Marlen. He held grudges and he had one hell of an ego. As long as I gave him something to argue it would keep him distracted.

False bravado. My attitude was all I had to protect me right now.

"Well thanks to you and Dimitri all of the Strigoi who knew of my disgrace are now dead. I should be thanking you, actually. Much of my success is due to the resources that Galina left behind after you murdered her. You even got Dimitri out of the way for me after that."

"Oh, see?" I said in a sweet voice. "You should be thanking me. Let me go and we'll call it even."

He chuckled. "No, there's a bit more that you have to answer for."

"Oh come on," I groaned. "So I tortured you a little, its not like you didn't fully recover. You came out better off from knowing me if I do say so myself. Lets just move past this already."

"My God," he groaned. "Do you ever stop talking?"

"Not really." And honestly, I worked hard to be this annoying, he came across it naturally. I should really be the one complaining. How was he even alive? How had he managed to survive Dimitri's wrath and take over Galina's estate after Dimitri was Restored?

He sighed. "I'd kill you if I didn't need you."

"And why do you need me?" I demanded. "You were behind the attack in January, too, weren't you? I knew someone at Court had to be feeding Strigoi information but I didn't know what Strigoi would listen to a Moroi." Marlen though, made sense. He'd already had a grudge against Dimitri and me. If the opportunity presented itself he'd do anything to get back at us, either directly or through Lissa.

"Smarter than you look," he mused. "But contrary to your personal beliefs that you are the greatest thing on this earth, you are nothing but a means to an end."

"You wound me," I drawled, rolling my eyes. I was still pressed firlmly into the corner of the room but Marlen had made no attempt to come any closer. "Is this the part where you tell me your entire plan?"

He shrugged. "I can if you want. Its not you knowing will change anything."

I ignored the tightening of my stomach at his words.

"I want what all Strigoi want," he said.

"The end of the Moroi?" I guessed. That was the standard party line though I always found it a bit ridiculous. Strigoi loved Moroi blood. Wouldn't they be bored with human blood if all the Moroi were gone?

Marlen smirked. "Don't be so quick to assume," he berated me. "Yes, its true. The Moroi are ridiculous and need to be stopped. To take out not only the queen but one of the last Dragomir's would demoralize their society and earn me the respect I deserve." His ego was nauseating. "But above even that," he continued, "Vasilisa Dragomir must be stopped." His voice was frigid at the mention of Lissa's name and I flinched involuntarily. "The power to destroy a Strigoi should be held by no one."

I looked at him, confused. "Guardian's kill Strigoi all the time," I pointed out.

"Guardians kill Strigoi as we kill them. That is the natural order. But to take away what makes a Strigoi? To take away that power and restore them to the sniveling former versions of themselves?" He spat in disgust. "That is to destroy them. It must be stopped."

"You want…to kill Lissa because….because she Restored Dimitri?" I said slowly, bewildered. I'd always viewed Lissa's ability to Restore Strigoi as amazing and revered. It had never once occurred to me—or anyone else I knew—that Strigoi not only knew about the ability but also wanted to annihilate it.

I'd inadvertently painted an even bigger target on Lissa's back when I'd dragged her into my schemes to save Dimitri all those years ago.

It made sense. Strigoi always tired to kill royals. They took any opportunity. To kill a queen would be even more so. I'd expected that when I'd taken the job as Lissa's head guardian. Over the years we'd encountered those expected attacks. But recently, I'd been so confused as to why a Strigoi would try so elaborately to get a hold of Lissa's schedule, to set traps. The combination of Marlen's hatred for me and Dimitri and his desire to destroy Lissa's ability to Restore Strigoi made sense. It would drive him to desperate measures, including working with Moroi rebels. The rebels wanted Lissa's reign to end, they didn't care if it was in dethroning or death. By working together the rebels and Marlen would be much more likely to get what they wanted.

"Nobody should hold that power," Marlen answered.

"So you want Lissa dead," I stated at last. "But you didn't get her. You got me instead." His plan was good enough, in fact it was more detailed than I'd ever expected a greed and power driven Strigoi to achieve. Most Strigoi—excluding Dimitri but I had a theory that he was always going to be an anomaly no matter _what_ he was—were all about instant gratification. The time this plan had taken to organize was mind-boggling.

Marlen shrugged once more. "A disappointment but not entirely unfortunate," he admitted. "Your relationship with the queen is useful as are your connections within Court. You may yet be of use."

I exhaled slowly. So I was going to be leverage. He'd use me to get what he wanted from Lissa while simultaneously taking his revenge on Dimitri and me for all we had done to him.

"You still haven't answered one thing," I said at last. He made an impatient noise but I continued anyway. "Dimitri said that he'd killed everyone in Galina's house that night I escaped."

"He did," Marlen said shortly.

"Then shouldn't you be dead too?" I asked.

At last Marlen moved. He stepped further into the room and his face came into relief.

I smothered a gasp. In the shadows of the moonless night and of my cell I hadn't been able to see more than shapes and the occasional flash of color. Now though, I could see him. His chalky white skin was marred along the left side of his neck and face where fire had obviously touched him, leaving red wheals contrasting sharply against his pallor. Apparently some injuries were too great even for Strigoi healing abilities to fix.

"Dimitri certainly tried his best," Marlen drawled. "And I will have my revenge for that. Like I said, not entirely unfortunate that we were to capture you."


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

17

*Dimitri*

 _We'll look into it_ , Hans had said. We'll look into it. As if he had all the time in the world to check into something during his lunch break. Rose's life was at stake and he was going to _look into it_. Lissa, looking equally as outraged, had assured Dimitri she was going to make a few calls and bring in resources to help out. With nothing else to do at Court Dimitri had gotten the location of the attack from Stella and headed straight for the guardian parking garage.

Now, a little over an hour later he was standing in the last place Rose had been seen. The area had been blocked off with police tape as the Alchemists and guardians conducted their investigation and clean up. The bodies had been cleared away but there were cones up where each had been found. It had been a slaughter. Eleven Strigoi bodies found, two guardians dead, and one missing. The SUV wreckage was also still there, though a tow-truck had pulled up just as Dimitri had gotten there. He asked the driver to wait a few minutes and then got down on his knees by the passenger back seat of the wreck where Rose had been sitting.

The car was such a mess of twisted metal that Dimitri found it hard to believe anyone had escaped safely, let alone four people. He could see blood on the window and knew Rose had hit her head during the crash. Was she okay now? Was the baby? Dimitri's heart raced as he stood back up, unable to look any longer. So much blood had been shed here. People had died. What if Rose—alive herself—had lost the baby? It wouldn't be that surprising considering the odds that had been against her. One well-placed kick could have put an end to any budding hope that Dimitri was beginning to feel.

Lissa had been so adamant in her claims that Rose was pregnant, let alone that the baby was his. But could it be possible? Part of Dimitri felt that he'd have _known_ if Rose was pregnant. He'd seen her not three weeks ago and she hadn't looked any different. _Not that she would yet_ , a part of him said. He remembered Karolina's pregnancy with Paul. She hadn't started showing until she was three months along and if Lissa was telling the truth then Rose wasn't quite there yet. But wouldn't he have known some how? Shouldn't he have felt something? Noticed other changes? Lissa said that Rose had been sick a lot. He'd noticed that once but that was it. How had she hid it? Why would she?

 _Because its Rose_ , his mind answered for him. _And she wouldn't want others worrying about her._

 _Or maybe because she knew she was pregnant and didn't want you to know_ , a more treacherous part of his mind taunted him. _Because it isn't yours._

"Shut up," he hissed under his breath. "Rose wouldn't do that."

She wouldn't. They'd been through too much together. They loved each other too much for Rose to have done that. She wouldn't do that.

But then it wasn't possible. Rose wasn't pregnant. This was just something Lissa had said to get Hans on board. But he'd seen the look in Lissa's eyes...

He had begun to move away from the wreck when something caught his attention. He bent down and pulled the small crumpled piece of paper from its resting place underneath some shattered glass.

Curious, he opened the paper and immediately recognized the handwriting.

 _You never complained before, I bet it's another pregnancy symptom,_ Lissa had written, her script elegant and ever legible.

 _If so I'm going to kick Dimitri's ass. I spend too much time on my feet to deal with swollen ankles._ Dimitri would recognize Rose's hurried scrawl anywhere. She often left him notes on the kitchen table when she left for a shift while he was sleeping. He felt his heart squeeze painfully.

Pregnant.

Rose had written this note hours ago, before the attack, before Lissa had ever told Hans.

Lissa had been telling the truth. Rose was pregnant. And, according to Rose, it was his baby.

* * *

*Dimitri*

The hot rain from the shower head did little to relax Dimitri's tense muscles. He'd searched for hours, covering a mile radius from the attack site, searching for any hint or sign that Rose and her captors had passed through. He'd found nothing. Finally he'd come crawling back to Court as the sun rose, defeated and demoralized. He wanted—needed—Rose. He needed to touch her, to hold her, to hear her confession from her own lips.

Every time he closed his eyes images danced before them. Rose smiling at him, Rose kissing him, Rose in the throes of passion as they made love to each other the night before the attack in January, supposedly when they'd conceived their child. And other images as well, of things that had yet to happen. Rose with a swollen belly, heavy with his child. Rose smiling down at a small, dark-haired baby boy in her arms. Rose, holding hands with a young girl with dark brown curls and his eyes.

How many times had Dimitri had dreams like that? Dreams of a life he and Rose could never have? He'd woken up in a cold sweat from them before, much like he did with memories of his time as Strigoi. He'd startle awake, heart pounding and close to tears. Rose would pull him close and comfort him, whispering nonsense words as she stroked his back. She always thought they were dreams about being Strigoi and he never corrected her. He didn't want to admit that he longed for something she could not give him, or that he could not give her. He knew it was a sensitive subject for her too and didn't want to impart his own sorrow on her as well.

He should be happy right now. He should be ecstatic that somehow, beyond all reasoning, he and Rose would have a child, that his dreams would become reality.

But he wasn't happy. How could he be when he had no way of knowing if Rose was even all right? Was she alive? Was their child? Would he ever see either of them again?

"Damn you!" he shouted, striking out blindly and slamming his fist into the shower wall. It went crashing through the thin tile and drywall behind it. "Damn you for taking her from me," his voice broke as a sob forced itself from his chest. He brought his bloodied hand to his chest and cradled it there. "How can you give me something I've always wanted and then just take it away?"

Who was he talking to? Rose? God? Whoever it was they didn't answer. He stood there for a while, letting the hot water run heedlessly off of him as he sobbed 'damn you' over and over again.

Sometime later he'd managed to pull himself from the now cold shower in favor of the sofa in the living room. He should be doing something, he thought. Something to find Rose. But what? He'd picked up no trace of her at the scene of the fight, neither had the Alchemists or other guardians. Hans said he'd look into it and Lissa was calling in some help. What could they do until they got a lead? Would the Strigoi contact them? Theoretically, if they'd taken Rose for leverage or as a hostage, they'd contact the guardians with terms of exchange. When would that happen?

Dimitri wished he'd never been delayed at Alder. It had been his and Christian's plan for weeks to go to Pittsburgh with Rose and Lissa for the meeting. If only things had gone smoothly and they hadn't had to delay. If he had been there during the fight he sure as hell wouldn't have let Rose get taken. Hell, she wouldn't have been there at all! He would have known about the baby and he would have insisted she be taken off duty.

"What was she even doing on duty anyway?" he demanded of the empty apartment. He jumped up from his seat and started pacing around the small space, unable to keep still any longer. "She should have taken herself out of danger as soon as she found out she was pregnant! What the hell was she thinking?" He lashed out, swiping the ornamental fruit bowl that his mother had gifted them three years ago as a housewarming present from the counter. It crashed to the floor and shattered, shards of porcelain bouncing off the floors alongside apples and grapes. Dimitri kicked one out of the way and continued on his warpath. By the time he'd sufficiently vented his anger the apartment looked like it had hosted its own battle. Dimitri hated losing control like this. Rose had once guessed that he was like her with her barely controlled anger and she'd been right. He fought daily to keep his emotions in check and without Rose here to help talk him down he couldn't put the lid back on it.

Dimitri knew his anger at Rose was irrational. He couldn't honestly blame her. He knew that he wouldn't let anything keep him from doing his duty either and Rose was the same. She wouldn't have been able to let Lissa go outside of the wards without being by her side. But he needed someone to blame.

He dropped back onto the couch, head in hands.

Only a few moments passed before there was a knock at the door. He ignored it, figuring that it was a neighbor there to check on the noise. The knocking did stop but a moment later the lock clicked as someone used the key to enter.

Dimitri looked up as Lissa stepped into the apartment. She looked around cautiously, taking in the damage, before coming to sit beside him.

"We'll get her back," she said softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his forearm.

"How?" he demanded, voice hollow. "I didn't find any trace of her."

"They didn't leave any. What we need is a witness."

"And where are we going to find one?" he asked, curious. "Your team said they didn't see where they went and nobody else was around."

"That's true. The only person who can help us is Rose herself."

"And how do you expect—oh. Oh!" Dimitri's eyes widened as the implications finally set in. "You've contacted Adrian."

Lissa nodded. "He, Sydney, Jill and everyone are on their way. So are Janine and Abe."

"And do they know…" he trailed off, unable to say it.

"About the baby?" she supplied gently. He nodded. "No. I figured that we could tell them when they got here. It's your call now."

He exhaled slowly. "Thanks."

She nodded. Her hand moved from his forearm down to his battered knuckles. A gentle sensation of hot and then cold passed through him as she healed the injury. "Thanks," he said again.

"We'll get her back, Dimitri," she repeated. "Adrian is stopping his meds. Once they wear off he'll try dream walking her. Until then Sydney is going to try some witchy tracking things and Abe is using his numerous connections to find out anything he can about who the Strigoi are working with here at Court. I think that's what we need to work on too. We have to try."

Dimitri nodded. "Rose called me the other night. She had a list of people she was working on." That had been the last time they'd spoken. She'd been convinced something bad was going to happen and damn it if she hadn't been right. Dimitri had learned to never doubt Rose's instincts but still, he hadn't really thought that something would happen. She'd also said she had something important to tell him. Now he know what that had been.

"I have the list," Lissa informed him. "We talked to everyone on it yesterday. We can start there." She stood up. "Rose is tough. She'll be alright."

"Its different now," Dimitri whispered. "It's not just her who the Strigoi have."

Lissa was silent for a moment before she disappeared into the bedroom. Dimitri stared after her, confused, but she returned a few seconds later, something clutched in her hands.

"The Strigoi don't know that and as long as it stays that way the baby is safe." She handed over what she'd retrieved. Dimitri took the long strip of paper and stared at it. He'd seen enough of his sisters' ultrasounds to recognize one. His eyes widened. "The way Rose looked at those pictures…the look she got whenever she talked about the baby…" Lissa hesitated. "Well, she won't let anything happen to that baby. Trust me."

With those parting remarks Lissa slipped from the apartment. Dimitri didn't notice. He was too busy memorizing every last detail of the photos in his hands. Of his child.

* * *

*Lissa*

Two days. It took two days for everyone Lissa had summoned to arrive at Court. She had been passing the time anxiously, working with Christian and Dimitri to weed through all of the people on Rose's list of suspects and compare them with what she'd learned at the conference in Pittsburgh. They'd gained no ground. While she knew that many of them had enough motive to move against her she didn't believe they had the gall to do it. She'd studied their auras carefully during their conversations, led them with certain questions to see how they reacted both outwardly and inwardly to them. Many of them had pretended to be cordial to her while really harboring feelings of anger or anxiety but that wasn't uncommon when people talked to a person in power. Lissa was extremely good at reading people and she'd found nothing of use at the conference.

Lissa worried a lot. She worried about Rose and how she was coping with her situation. She worried about any injuries she had sustained during and since the fight. She worried that she'd never see her best friend again. For the first time since it was broken, Lissa longed for the bond. Even if she couldn't hear Rose she wished Rose was able to see into her head and know that they were looking for her. Lissa also worried about the baby. So innocent in all of this and yet the ultimate victim, life at risk because of the actions of someone else towards its mother.

But more than that Lissa worried for Dimitri. Maybe it was because Rose wasn't sitting in front of her that Lissa could pretend that she was surviving well enough. Maybe it was because she knew Rose so well. But Dimitri…well the only other time Lissa had ever seen Dimitri so broken was right after he'd been Restored. She remembered those days when she could practically feel his broken emotions as he acclimated to experiencing them. It was a painful sight to see, a grown man so defeated, particularly when you know what he looks like at his prime. She was so used to seeing Dimitri confident and strong and capable that seeing him like this—exhausted, worried and in pain—was unbearable. It was like seeing someone with a terrible scar or grotesque deformity, unbearable to see yet impossible to look away from. So yes, Lissa worried about Dimitri the most. She couldn't fault him for taking the situation so hard, she could only imagine how he felt, losing not only the love of his life but also the child he hadn't even known existed. But the longer she watched him she also saw something else. She saw his determination and resourcefulness. As he worked to find Rose, Lissa was able to see glimpses of his steel core and that gave her hope.

They'd find Rose and everything would go back to normal. Better than normal, even. There'd be a baby to love and spoil.

That baby.

Lissa loved her friends and would sacrifice the world for them but that baby represented something else entirely. She'd worked her entire career up until this point fighting for dhampir rights. She'd taken great strides but it was difficult to advocate for the independence of certain people when their very existence relied on others. But Rose and Dimitri's baby proved that maybe they didn't, not entirely at least.

When Adrian and Sydney and the others from Palm Springs arrived at last the relief in the air was palpable. Sonya and Mikhail had already been brought into the search for Rose, though they weren't in on all of the details, just as the rest of Lissa's remaining guardians.

They'd set up a command center in Lissa's office. She'd put all Council meetings on hold indefinitely in order to devote her time to finding Rose. People weren't happy about it but she could care less.

When Adrian threw open the doors to her office she felt like she could finally breathe again. Finally, they would get somewhere.

The rest of the group followed him closely, all looking tense and worried.

"What happened?" Eddie demanded immediately upon his entrance. Lissa's summons had been short: Rose had been taken and they needed help. He looked tense and ready to snap. Lissa knew that Rose was his oldest friend, the last remainder of the trio they'd made up with Mason Ashford. Rose meant a lot to every single person in this room. Jill moved to her boyfriend's side and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

The room was suddenly very crowded. While Lissa's office was a reflection of her station, with seventeen people packed into it the room suddenly became quite small.

Lissa sighed. "Why don't you settle in? Abe and Janine should be landing any minute. We'll fill you all in together."

Fifteen minutes later the door opened again and Ambrose came in leading Rose's parents.

"Thank you Ambrose," Lissa said. "Would you mind getting us something to drink?" the dhampir nodded, giving a concerned look around the room before departing. Lissa felt bad. She knew the guy was friends with Rose and would be worried about her by now—it was no secret at Court that Rose Hathaway had been taken by Strigoi—but Lissa had adopted Rose's paranoia and wasn't willing to open the meeting up to anyone she didn't trust implicitly.

Once the door was shut firmly behind him the rooms inhabitants settled down to business.

"What happened?" Janine demanded immediately. "How did this happen and what are you planning to do about it?" For such a short woman she radiated a strong presence.

"We have a traitor at Court," Lissa said at last, addressing the congregation before her. She felt a pang in her chest at the admission. She hated to believe that one of her people hated her so much that they'd betray her to Strigoi. "For months Rose has insisted that someone close to us has been feeding details about my schedule and our routes to and from Court to Strigoi. It started in January with the attack at Lehigh. Rose has been working so hard to keep things low key and it was working until my conference in Pittsburgh. A lot of people were involved in orchestrating it and whoever the traitor is they somehow got involved.

"They set a trap for us on the way back to Court. Rose realized it and tried to evade it but it didn't work. We were attacked in Bloomsburg by a band of Strigoi. They killed two of my guardians and they took Rose."

"We searched all of Bloomsburg," Dimitri said, taking over when Lissa paused, unsure how to continue. "They left no trace. No witnesses. Rose could be anywhere. But we _need_ to get her back."

"I agree," Abe said at once, eyes glinting in their usual calculating manner, processing everything at once and making connections. "But how did you get Guardian Croft to sanction this? Guardians don't usually do rescue missions."

"There are…extenuating circumstances," Dimitri said slowly. "Enough so that we've gotten him to consider it. But everyone here has volunteered to do whatever it takes to get Rose back. And the best way to do that is to find out who betrayed us in the first place."

"If we find out who they are," Christian said, "we can find out what they want. From there we can either trade to get Rose back or maybe trace them to wherever they have Rose. But they're working with Strigoi so whoever this traitor is…well they're desperate and there's no telling what they'll do to get what they want."

"So what have you done so far?" Sydney asked. She, too, was already mentally compiling to-do lists. "You said there was no trace of where they took her. I'm assuming that's where Adrian and I come in?"

Dimitri nodded. "Yes. If Adrian can dream walk Rose then not only can we find out how she is but maybe where she is and what the Strigoi want. And if you could track her…" he trailed off.

Sydney nodded. "I can try. I'll need something of great importance to her. And her brush."

"I'll bring you to our apartment as soon as we're done here," Dimitri assured her.

"I'm already off my meds," Adrian put in. "It'll take a few days until they're out of my system completely but I'll keep trying to get through to Rose."

More nods.

"I'd like to go over the plans from Pittsburgh," Janine said. "And talk to one of you," she looked at the rest of Lissa's guardian detail, "about what they did to set the trap. And possibly go see where it happened, if you'd show me."

"I'll take you," Daniel offered. "We can leave at first light."

Plans were rapidly beginning to fall into place.

"Rose called me a week or so ago," Abe said thoughtfully. "She gave me a list of names and wanted information on them."

Lissa nodded. "Yes. Those were the people at the conference. She was looking for connections to people at Court who have previously shown dissatisfaction with my rule or have been negatively impacted by some of the laws I've passed."

Abe nodded. "Did she get anywhere with it?"

Lissa and Dimitri explained the work they'd been doing the past few days regarding the list.

He nodded, stroking his chin in thought.

"I'll try to put together a more extensive list. And I want a list of every person in or around the guardian building at the time that they discussed your trip to Pittsburgh. The traitor was either at that meeting or knows someone who was."

"I can get you that," Mikhail supplied. "I'll go pull the visitors logs and duty roster for that day."

Abe inclined his head in thanks.

"You haven't heard anything from the Strigoi yet?" Janine asked. "I don't usually believe that Strigoi can work together well enough to form such an elaborate plot but times are changing. If one of them had enough power to convince others to work together then there is a chance that Rose is still alive." Her words sounded a bit cold but Lissa could see the pain she was trying to mask. Her aura flared with it at the mention of Rose's possible death. "If they're keeping her alive then it's for a reason. They'll use her to get at Lissa."

"That's what we believe," Dimitri agreed. "They took her because they couldn't get Lissa. Now they'll use her to get what they want."

Ambrose returned with the drinks Lissa had requested. They paused their conversation long enough for him to disperse the beverages and leave once more before speaking.

"Which means they should be contacting us any time now," Janine finished.

"Yes," Dimitri said. "We're monitoring all methods of passing a message to someone at Court. They haven't contacted us yet."

"So we wait for a message and do our best to find out who the traitor is, what they want and where they could possibly be holding Rose in the meantime." Angeline summed up. "Did I miss anything?"

"The extenuating circumstances," Jill said, speaking for the first time. She was perched on the edge of a chair next to Eddie, gripping his hand tightly in her lap.

"What?" Lissa asked. She turned and gave her half-sister a confused look.

"Dimitri mentioned extenuating circumstances that made Hans agree to a rescue. What were they?"

"I know Guardian Croft," Eddie supplied helpfully when nobody immediately jumped to answer, "he's a hard man to sway. How'd you do it?"

Lissa, Christian and Dimitri had the full attention of everyone in the room now. Lissa knew the guardians who had been in the infirmary that day had been wondering that too. They'd witnessed Hans' frank rejection at first and didn't know what could have changed his mind. Sonya and Mikhail were equally as curious, having a long history with Hans and his strict adherence to the rules.

Lissa looked to Dimitri. _It's your choice whether you tell them_ , she tried to convey with just a look. _It's your news to tell._

Dimitri understood.

He pinched the bridge of his nose briefly as he shored himself up for the attack to come. He straightened to his full height and responded. Though it was Jill who had asked the question he spoke directly to Janine and Abe as he answered.

"Rose is pregnant...with my child."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

18

When I'd been in jail for the murder of Queen Tatiana I'd contemplated the difference between a sterile cell and one with rats for company. At the time I had decided that I'd take the one with rats because I couldn't imagine staying sane in the other. I'd been so sure back then but when I woke up to an actual rat staring at me it kind of changed my perspective a little. I shrieked and launched myself backwards in a clumsy maneuver to get away. It was difficult without the use of my arms and the heavy chain around my ankle didn't help much either. I finally managed to collapse into the corner I'd sought shelter in the first day, leg extended at an awkward angle to accommodate the shortness of the chain.

"Okay Rose," I said to myself. "You can manage this. There are worse thing than rats."

Boy were there ever.

I had no idea how long I'd been here. Marlen hadn't returned since our first conversation and there was no change in the lighting of my cell to mark the passage of time. My stomach was screaming for food, though, and I seriously needed to pee so some time had passed. My arms were completely numb now, pinned behind my back as they were. At first the pins and needles of nerves falling asleep had been maddening but that had since faded into complete numbness.

When would Marlen return? Not that I was overly thrilled at the prospect of his company but I hated this limbo stage of waiting for the worst. Marlen had said that he needed me for something. When would he get to that point? Surely Dimitri knew I was gone by now. The first thing Lissa would have done after realizing I'd been taken would be to call him home.

Looking at the situation realistically I knew Hans wouldn't send a rescue party for me. I couldn't blame him either, though I wished I could. Sometimes I missed the old me, the one who would get mad at people for following the rules when they were obviously stupid. I'd matured since then; I'd seen too many cases where the rules actually did help to dismiss them automatically. I knew my situation was bad. I couldn't see outside my cell but I'd heard enough murmured conversations and footfalls to know that a significant number of Strigoi were in the building. Even if the guardians could figure out where I was—not that _I_ even knew where I was—it went against everything we stood for to risk the lives of so many just to save one person.

So I didn't expect a rescue from Hans. But I also knew that Dimitri would never just sit around and wait for something to happen. I knew with absolute certainty that he and my friends would be hell bent on getting me back. The thought brought an unexpected welling of love and fear racing through me. I loved my friends so much that it meant the world to me that they'd even attempt something so risky but it also terrified me to think that I could lose some of them in the process.

I took several deep breaths as I leaned my head back against the cold wall. I needed to control my emotions; it wouldn't do for Marlen to walk in and see me bawling like a baby right now.

But man did I want to. I wanted it to be okay for me to be weak for a moment. I wanted just a few minutes where I could feel sorry for myself and just hope someone else would fix all my problems. Sadly, that wasn't my life. I was in the business of protecting and saving others, it was my duty to be strong all the time. Even more so now that I was going to be a mom. Moms didn't get to sit around and cry when there was a problem. They had to fix it.

I had to fix this problem, too. I got my emotions under control and once again went over my options. Nothing immediately jumped out at me. Maybe I could ask for a bathroom break and make a run for it then. It didn't seem likely, though, considering my overall lack of knowledge when it came to my surroundings.

My options within the cell were limited. While my leash didn't allow me full range of the cell it did allow me some movement. What really limited my options were my hands. I couldn't keep my balance well with them locked behind me let alone use a weapon or brute force. Without being released from those bonds I was fairly helpless. And if I was released from my bonds there was another issue. I hadn't eaten in days, I was weak, dehydrated and my head was starting to get the feeling of being stuffed with cotton. What was the likelihood that I could have fast enough reaction times to take advantage of any opportunity I was presented with?

I was still mulling over my options when the door opened a while later. Marlen came in flanked by three other Strigoi.

I did my best to look relaxed, bored even, but I know they didn't miss the subtle shift in my position as I drew up my unrestricted leg, pulling my knee closer to my chest. This position would allow me to jump to my feet in an instant and I knew that they knew it. But that wasn't the real motive behind the move.

I couldn't use my hands to protect my belly at all but I couldn't stand the idea of leaving myself completely open and undefended. Though it was a small measure of protection I felt better with a barrier between the Strigoi and my baby.

"What?" I drawled as they just continued to stand there. "Get bored? Need some more entertainment?"

Marlen shook his head and motioned one of the Strigoi forward. The tall, ex-Moroi held a camera.

Oh. So that's how it was going to be.

"We've given Dimitri and the queen enough time to worry. They'll be getting desperate by now."

"And let me guess, you're going to ease their minds a bit with a nice picture."

"Well," he said, a little wryly. "At least they'll hear from you. Must be awful, going a few days without a trace of you. They're probably starting to wonder if you're still alive or if we just killed you."

"A few days?" I demanded, irate. "You've had me here a few days and you haven't even given me a bathroom break? If you haven't killed me yet you will. A burst bladder, dehydration, something! You really need to take a lesson on keeping valuable hostages alive."

A nerve in his forehead twitched. He was getting annoyed with me. "Shut up," he snapped. "Just be a good girl and come out into the light so we can take a picture." The corner of the cell I'd secluded myself in was conveniently shadowed. The center of the room held a bit more light, probably just enough for a decent photo.

I stayed rooted where I was. I honestly wasn't sure I could get up at the moment, the throbbing in my head had increased markedly and my tethered leg was now asleep.

"You said I've been here a few days," I said, ignoring his command. "That's a lot of time for guardians to work with. I'm sure that Dimitri and everyone else has already come up with a game plan. I'd be worried if I were you. You've just painted a big target on your back and the most influential and dangerous people in Moroi society are coming for you."

Marlen scoffed. "You think I'm scared? Do you know who your 'dangerous people' are? An ex-party boy and his human wife, what's left of your team of guardians who, by the way, we've already taken down once, your flashy father and Dimitri? If you think I'm scared of them you seriously underestimate me."

I didn't know whether to cry from happiness or frustration. Adrian and Sydney were here, that meant everyone from Palm Springs was. My team, my parents, Dimitri. They were all looking for me. If anyone could find me it would be them, with their combined resources and talents. The thought of them out there searching for me warmed my heart and returned a shred of the hope that I'd been gradually losing over time.

But Marlen knew too much about who had shown up at Court. Whoever the traitor inside the wards was they were still feeding him information. Who could it be? Who had that much access to my friends?

"What?" Marlen taunted. "Realizing how pathetic your rescue team is? Its okay, we're about to hand them what they need." He beckoned me forward once more. Part of me said to go ahead and let him take the picture. At least then Dimitri would know I was alive and to keep looking. But it also made me look weak and I couldn't stand to let Dimitri see me like this. He knew about the baby by now. I was positive Lissa would have told him the truth and she'd probably told Hans and the rest of my rescue party, too. It would hurt Dimitri to see me like this and to know that his baby was suffering with me.

And I didn't want to give Marlen the satisfaction.

I stayed put but I didn't stay silent.

I taunted him some more and played on his last nerves. It didn't do me any real good, only resulting in one of Marlen's cronies gagging me and then dragging me into the center of the room, but at least I hadn't willingly played along with his games.

Once they'd gotten what they came for they left me again, gag in place, and to my own thoughts. Marlen may have thought that my rescue team was pathetic but I was burning with hope.

Adrian and Sydney. My parents.

Adrian would be coming off his meds and trying to contact me in a dream. How long until he could reach me? And what would I tell him when he did? I didn't actually know anything useful except for who had me and the room around me. I couldn't really lead him to me.

But Sydney could. I'd heard stories of Sydney tracking people through her magic. She'd be able to find me. Then Dimitri would come and kick Marlen's ass. I'd be safe and everything would be okay. I dozed off where I lay in the middle of the room, new hope easing my passage into the world of dreams.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri ran his fingers through the loose strands of his hair in frustration. He was sitting on a secluded bench in the church courtyard. He'd spent a little while inside the church itself but the stain glass windows and polished pews had had little of their usual effect to calm him down.

It had been over twenty-four hours since all of the plans had been laid out to find Rose and so far they'd found nothing useful.

After he'd confessed about Rose's pregnancy there had been several stunned moments of silence as wide eyes stared up at him. He could feel the confusion and skepticism in the air like it was a palpable thing until Sydney spoke up at last.

She stood up from her seat next to Adrian and said, "We'll I'm assuming this has something to do with a side effect of spirit." The caviler tone in which she'd stated that seemed to ground everyone else in the room. Sydney had as much experience in the strange abilities of spirit as anyone else. The reminder of that seemed to reduce some of the skepticism. Sydney had continued, however, and the rest of what she had to say wasn't as helpful. "Unfortunately that limits what I can do to help."

"How so?" Dimitri had demanded sharply. Sydney was one of his greatest hopes for getting Rose back, he didn't need any more complications.

"The spells I can use to track Rose will be interrupted by the baby. The spells are targeted to find Rose's—er—aura is probably the closest thing that I can compare it with. Both that and her physical being will be almost contaminated by the baby's presence. I don't know of any tracking spells that work on pregnant women. But I'll do my best," she tacked on hurriedly at the end, trying to assure him that she'd do everything she could.

And she had tried. Dimitri had taken her straight to the apartment and given her Rose's brush and her nazar, the necklace that she wore all the time, a gift from her parents. It was one of her most treasured possessions and the only reason it was in the apartment and not with her now was because she didn't wear it to formal guardian events. Sydney had worked for hours under the watchful gaze of Dimitri, Adrian and Eddie but hadn't had any success. She'd put in a phone call to her old teacher and the woman was apparently trying to research alternatives.

"Without something of that person it is impossible to track them," the woman had said, voice coming out distorted over the long distance call. Apparently Ms. Terwilliger was on her honeymoon somewhere in Europe. "You need to be able to track Rose and the baby. Unfortunately, nothing of the baby yet exists outside of Rose. It's a terrible conundrum."

Dimitri had offered up the sonogram photos but the images were rejected immediately. They were images of the baby but not something that belonged to it.

So here Dimitri sat, ready to pull his hair out in frustration and worry. Janine had returned from retracing the route Rose's team had taken the night of the attack with no further insights aside from concurring with Rose about the trap and her plan of action. Footsteps sounded on the pavement and Dimitri looked up to see Janine herself approaching him.

Janine Hathaway looked much the same as she had when she'd reentered her daughter's life five years before; short, curly auburn hair, delicate but stern features, and eyes identical to her daughters. She had aged a bit though. At forty-five she was starting to show the wear of her career: stiffening joints, rough skin and a few lines on her face that Dimitri attributed not to the stress of her job but the stress of dealing with Rose and Abe Mazur. Dimitri respected any woman who could handle Zemy, and feared the one who had mothered Rosemarie Hathaway. Especially given the current circumstances.

He moved aside to offer her a place to sit. She took it with a sigh and nod to him.

"How is it going with the list Abe gave you?" she asked after a moment. Abe had been true to his word and provided an extensive list of connections for the people who'd been in the guardian building during the briefing.

"There's a lot of information and even more possible connections. But nothings standing out so far."

"I never much thought I'd miss the old days when Strigoi were the only enemy," she commented off-handedly. "I never thought I'd look at them like they were the good days."

Dimitri felt a grudging smile grace his lips. Things had been a lot less complicated before Rose and Lissa came into his life, not that he would trade things the way they were now.

"Its definitely not as black and white," he agreed. "It used to be that Moroi only squabbled and committed social murder. Now they're involving themselves with the Strigoi."

They sat in a reflective silence for a few heartbeats.

"I don't know how exactly this happened," Janine said at last and Dimitri didn't need her to clarify what she meant by _this._ She wasn't talking about the kidnapping. "But I don't doubt that it's true."

Dimitri nodded his gratitude. He really was relieved to hear it. He'd expected shock and disbelief at his proclamation but everyone seemed to be taking it in stride. Of course, their close group of friends was probably the most open-minded and understanding lot of people when it came to strange spirit phenomena. It was the general public that they'd have a hard time convincing when it came down to it.

"Rose is still young," she added and Dimitri sensed the beginning of the parental talk he'd been anticipating.

"I know," he agreed. "Its not exactly something that we were aware we needed to take precautions for."

She nodded. "I'm not blaming anyone. It's truly a miracle. But I was a young mother, too. Younger than Rose will be but still. It's hard to balance a career and parenthood. I didn't do so well at it, though I did try."

"Rose understands that now. She doesn't blame you."

"But she did. And I probably deserved it. I'm just warning you, Rose isn't the type of woman to step down from her career and be a stay at home mom. She'll need to find a better balance than I did. I hope you'll be there to help her."

"I'll be there for everything," he assured her, feeling the conviction of his own words as he spoke them.

"Then I can't complain."

They sat in silence once more and it dawned on Dimitri that, for a few minutes during their conversation he'd talked about his future with Rose as if it was a sure thing, as if she were waiting for him back at the apartment and not still missing. He'd needed those few moments, he realized. A few moments of normalcy to focus him on what he needed to fight for.

"Thank you," he whispered. Janine might have said more but just then his phone rang. Dimitri quickly pulled it from his duster pocket, hoping that it was Rose or at least a ransom call. His mothers number flashed across the screen and his mood plummeted once more. How could he tell his mother? She wasn't as strong as Janine Hathaway. Where Janine could hear all of the bad news and still press forward his mother couldn't. She was good at balancing the stresses of domesticity and child rearing, not guardian business.

"I should take this," he admitted.

Janine clapped him on the shoulder in farewell before standing with a groan and heading back towards the main business buildings, presumably to help with the information Abe had given them.

Dimitri answered the phone.

"Mama," he greeted her.

"Dimka," she responded immediately, relief evident in her voice. "You're okay."

"Of course I am," he responded, confused. He sat up straighter on the bench. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Babuska told me to call you. She said something was wrong and that you were in great trouble."

Babushka. Dimitri was surprised he hadn't thought of his grandmother and her uncanny knack at clairvoyance before. He wondered what exactly she'd seen. She'd told his mother that he was in great trouble and that was true enough. If something happened to Rose he'd feel it as much as if it had happened to his own body.

He knew he'd have to tell his mother about Rose at some point. Now was as good of a time as any.

"She was right," he admitted. "But I'm not the one physically in trouble." He then told her about Rose's abduction and the lack of leads. He told her everything that had happened and everything they were doing to find her. The only thing he didn't do was tell her about the baby. He couldn't bring himself to tell her such good news and then have her feel the loss of it too if Rose never returned.

"O, moya dorogoy Roza!" she exclaimed in horror after he was finished. Dimitri could hear the startled questions from his family on the other end of the line as they reacted to her outburst.

"Poor, poor Roza!" she continued to lament, ignoring them for the moment. "And gone for so long, too! Four days already!"

"I know, Mama. Believe me."

"And how are you, my dear boy? How are you fairing? You must be distraught."

"I am trying my hardest to keep it together. I have to find her," he admitted, no longer wanting to talk about it. With Janine Hathaway and the rest of their group Dimitri could keep it together and actually get work done. With his own mother he felt powerless. He loved his mother but he didn't need her worry and helplessness clouding his judgment at a time like this. "I have to go, Mama. I'll keep you updated."

After a few more words of conciliation—in his hometown of Baia people treated anyone whom Strigoi took as dead and his mother was no different—he managed to get off the phone. He remembered Rose telling him about the funeral his community had held for him after he'd been turned. He hoped to hell that his mother wasn't organizing one for Rose right now because that imposed such a feeling of finality he didn't think he could handle it.

He turned the phone over in his hand a few times, staring blankly at the courtyard before him. Once, there had been two statues that stood guard over it. Dimitri had played a part in blowing them up in an effort to break Rose out of jail a few years back. He'd been successful then. He and Rose had been through a lot together, from their taboo relationship at the academy to his time a Strigoi and Rose's plight to save him. Rose had done the impossible before and saved him. Now it was his turn to fight the impossible and get her back.

His phone chimed with an email alert and he automatically clicked it open, not really expecting to find anything of use.

When he opened up his inbox, though, he froze in shock. The top message alert in his inbox had a very familiar email address.

 **From: Rose Hathaway.**

With shaking fingers he opened the email.

And suddenly he was running. Running back towards the business buildings and Janine. Back to Lissa and everyone else.

They'd finally been contacted by Roses captors.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

19

 _*Dimitri*_

Dimitri couldn't look away from the photo. He hated it and everything about it save for one detail: it was proof that Rose was alive. He'd burst into Lissa's office like a bat out of hell only moments after talking with his mother and announced that he'd received an email from Rose''s captors. They'd immediately pulled it up on the large projector that Lissa had in her office for meetings. Now, an hour later, it was still there as everyone in the room, including a newly retrieved Hans, studied the picture and the message for any hints as to where Rose was.

"She's in a concrete room," Eddie observed. "And those chains look industrial strength."

"So it could be a construction site, a storage facility, a warehouse, a factory. In Pennsylvania—assuming she's still in the state—that's like finding a needle in a haystack," Sydney criticized, squinting at the screen. "The image is too dark to see much of the architecture but based off of the bolts they used on those fastenings," she pointed to the metal attachment that connected the chain leash around Rose's ankle to the floor, "the building was built after the nineteen-thirties. Unless it was added later." Nobody questioned how she knew that; the ex-Alchemist was full of random facts and information.

Dimitri studied the picture even though he could close his eyes and see it in perfect detail. The room was dark with concrete walls on at least three sides and a concrete floor. There was a chain that led from the back of the room to a fetter around Rose's ankle. Rose herself was sprawled in the middle of the floor, as if she'd just been pushed there, which, Dimitri was willing to bet she had been. One leg was fully extended in order to let her bonds reach so far but the other was pulled tightly against her, blocking her stomach. Dimitri recognized the protective stance. Maybe he wouldn't have picked up on it if he hadn't known what Rose was trying to protect, but knowing that she was pregnant Dimitri was clearly able to see how she was both protecting the child and hiding it from the photographer. His heart swelled with pride at her determination to protect their baby as well as the defiant look on her face.

Rose looked a bit the worse for wear. There was a shallow gash on her right temple where she'd likely hit the window during the accident, blood long since dried from crimson red to a duller rust color. She also hosted a few assorted bruises she'd picked up since then. She was stilling wearing her guardian uniform from the conference, the red button symbolizing her allegiance to the royal guard clearly visible on her collar. The uniform was torn and dirty but did a good job of hiding her growing belly, particularly the blazer which remained mostly intact, torn remains of the left sleeve notwithstanding. They'd gagged her, a strip of dark fabric indicating where the sleeve had gone, the improvised gag. Her dark hair was coming loose from a tight bun and her hands had been cuffed behind her back.

Dimitri felt his anger rise the longer he looked at the image.

"We can't give them what they want," Hans said in a clipped tone. While everyone else in the room soaked in each detail of the photo Hans was more concerned with the small paragraph that had accompanied it.

 **'We will trade Rosemarie Hathaway for the queen. You have a week to decide, or we kill her. We will be in touch.'**

"They can't honestly think that we'd trade the queen of the Moroi for a guardian—no offense to Hathaway," Hans continued. "It doesn't make sense, close relationship to Her Majesty aside."

"It makes perfect sense," Lissa countered. "They know I'd be willing to sacrifice everything for Rose. I say we do it."

"No!" Christian objected.

"Absolutely not!" Hans snapped at the same time.

"But I have to!" Lissa protested. "Its Rose! I'm the reason she's there to begin with. And we can't risk the baby over this."

"We'd be risking the stability of the Moroi government and the future of the Dragomir line if you did," the head guardian growled.

"You have Jill! And I'll name a successor."

"You can't do it."

Everyone in the room startled and looked at Dimitri in complete surprise. Why would he advocate against rescuing Rose?

"How can you say that?" Lissa gaped at him.

"Politics and ethics aside, there's no guarantee that they wouldn't still harm Rose," Dimitri explained. It hurt him to admit that the simplest answer wasn't the best one but he knew that it wasn't the right answer. "Besides, if you did that Rose would hunt you down and kill you herself. What good does it do to trade your own life for hers if it would just kill her anyway?"

"We have to do something," Lissa pointed out, desperation clear in her voice.

"And we will," he agreed. "They've given us a week. I doubt that they'll risk anything by going back on their word." Still, another week without Rose seemed impossible to fathom. "Meanwhile we'll keep searching. It's not much, but the picture has given us something to work with."

Janine nodded in agreement. "Guardian Belikov is right. We can rule out residential areas. The material in the background is definitely heavy duty. And they won't have risked moving Rose too far from the sight of the attack. I'd bet that they are within a one-hundred mile radius of Bloomsburg. Any further than that and they would have risked Rose waking up and causing them trouble before they could get her secured."

"Adrian should be able to dream walk soon," Eddie added. "Then he can get in touch with Rose."

"I'll work on tracing the email," Sydney said, though she sounded dubious. "Its from Rose's account but her phone hasn't been turned on since she was taken. Still, I might be able to trace it back to a certain area, if not a single IP address. It would give us radius at at least."

Hans was still studying the email with a critical look. "Still," he said, almost to himself. "Anyone would know that we couldn't risk trading the queen. Why make such an unrealistic demand?"

"Because they knew we wouldn't trade her," Abe said, speaking for the first time.

"What do you mean?" Hans asked as everyone turned to look at Abe. He stood at Janine's side, looking outlandishly festive in a bright blue suit that did not match the somber occasion.

"I mean, that they want us all to hurt. Not only do they want us to feel the pain of Rose being gone but they want us to know that we could have gotten her back and yet decided not to. If Rose dies because we didn't make the trade that will be on our shoulders. This is a personal attack against everyone who loves Rose. In particular its against Lissa and Dimitri." He turned to study the two parties in question, both of them looking equally confused. "Someone—and I don't know if it's the Strigoi or the person at Court who is aiding them—wants to hurt the two of you in particular."

* * *

"Wake up!"

I shrieked in surprise as I was jarred from a fitful sleep into full awareness by a bucket of cold water being upended over me.

"Ooh s-s-shit," I stuttered as the shaking immediately set it. "What the h-hell was that for?" My gag had been removed a few hours after the picture had been taken, allowing me to vocalize my intelligent remark. They'd released my hands from behind my back and refastened them in front of me in order to take me for a bathroom break. At first the pain had been unbearable as sensation returned to my deadened limbs but now, several hours later, I was grateful for the more comfortable arrangement. It had also afforded me—barely—the mobility I had needed to make the adjustments necessary for a bathroom break and for eating the sparse meal they'd granted me. Apparently now that they'd no doubt contacted my friends at Court with demands they needed to keep me alive.

I glared silently at Marlen who stood over me, empty bucket in hand, waiting for a response.

"Can't risk you talking to anyone," he said with a shrug.

"Did you miss the part where I was _sleeping_?" I demanded, cross.

"The Ivashkov guy is helping look for you," Marlen said in a 'don't mess with me' kind of voice. "He's a spirit user."

My eyes widened in shock as I realized what he was alluding to. His source inside Court had warned him about Adrian's ability to dream walk. That surprised me a bit. While it wasn't a secret that Adrian was a spirit user not many people in the general public knew what spirit was capable of. Most people thought it was about bringing people back to life and Restoring Strigoi thanks to Lissa's popularity. The lesser abilities of aura-reading, plant growing and dream walking were less publicized.

"Yes," Marlen agreed. "I know what he can do. And I can't risk him contacting you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Never mind the fact that I had been trying to sleep in hopes of Adrian popping into my dreams. "You can't keep me awake forever."

"Maybe not," he agreed. "But I've been thinking about that and I believe I've come up with a solution."

He crouched down beside me and looked me straight in the eye. I hadn't become immune to the fact that he was a Strigoi, I didn't think I ever could. But when I bantered with him he tended to lose some of that scary unnaturalness that accompanied most Strigoi. Looking into his dead, red ringed eyes now, however, all of the ingrained fear that accompanied Strigoi came rushing back to me. My pulse raced and a cold sweat broke out across my forehead and under my arms.

I realized what he was planning a split second before he started. Unable to look away I felt the rolling wave of compulsion crash over my mind, steamrolling my freewill and replacing it with Marlen's command.

"You will sleep Rose Hathaway, and when you do you will not dream."

* * *

 _*_ Dimitri _*_

"Its not working. I can't reach her," Adrian slammed his fist down on the desk, the pain of his own failures written plain across his face. Sydney was at his side in an instant, rubbing comforting circles between his shoulder blades. He relaxed visibly under her touch.

"Are you sure you're just not out of practice after so many years?" Hans questioned. Once he'd dedicated himself to the task of finding Rose he'd jumped in full force. The lack of leads was just as frustrating to him as it was to the rest.

"No," he sighed. "I tested it on Sydney, Jill and Lissa. I can reach them. Just not Rose. Something's blocking me." Dimitri had to admit that Adrian did look exhausted. He recognized the signs of sprit surrounding him too, the slight glassy look in his eyes the air to him that suggested he might not have complete control at the moment. He was experiencing the side effects from his use of spirit, the first effects in over three years. Dimitri felt a bit guilty that he'd been pushing so hard for him to contact Rose. Of course, Adrian had been just as hard on himself. It had been nearly four days since he'd regained his ability to use spirit and there had been no luck reaching Rose.

"What do you mean blocking you?" Dimitri questioned.

Adrian shrugged.

"The last time I couldn't get in touch with her was because she was drugged up on endorphins," he gave Dimitri a pointed look and the guilt he'd been feeling increased ten-fold. Rose had told him how Adrian had been able to contact her in Russia only after she'd gone two days without him biting her.

"So you're saying that they're biting her?" Lissa asked quietly, worry creasing her brow.

"They could be. Drugging her system would block my ability to contact her. That or she's just never asleep when I try." Adrian tried to contact her pretty consistently throughout the day. If he hadn't found her sleeping over the past few days it was because she wasn't sleeping at all.

"So she's either being fed on or they're keeping her awake?" He wasn't going to mention the third alternative, that he wouldn't be able to contact her if she was dead either. But he had to believe that she wasn't. They still had three days left until the Strigoi were supposed to make contact again.

"That's just inhumane! How long do they think she can stay awake for?" Jill demanded angrily.

"Well," Sydney said pragmatically, and everyone in the room could sense a science lesson coming on. "Randy Gardner proved that a human could go for eleven days without sleep. Of course, by day three hallucinations begin and by day five other mental issues arise. I'm willing to bet that there are some differences between human and dhampir endurance but…" she trailed off as she caught sight of everyone's faces. Adrian had a slightly wry look that indicated he was used to such lessons but those who weren't exposed to the ex-Alchemist on a daily or near daily basis weren't exactly soothed by her knowledge. "But you really don't need to know that," she ended lamely.

"Rose is strong," George, one of the members of Lissa's guard, said after a moment of awkward silence. "Whatever they're putting her through now, she'll make it. I don't think there's a person alive who could take down Rose Hathaway."

Christian had been trying to stay positive up until this point but at the moment his cynicism won out. "Yeah," he said. "But Strigoi aren't exactly alive now, are they?"

Lissa whacked him in the stomach and gave him a chastising look. "The point is we have to keep trying, Adrian," she said. "Whatever is blocking you, we have to hope that you'll find a way around it soon."


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

20

"Please…not again," I gasped as Marlen came through the door of my prison. The only times he ever came in were when he felt like taunting me or when he was going to use compulsion on me, otherwise he was suspiciously absent. His minions did the run-of-the-mill bathroom breaks or food breaks. He'd used compulsion on me a few times over the past God knew how long and it always left me with a pounding headache and the overall feeling of being used as a puppet. The pain in my temples increased markedly with each time I was compelled and I didn't think I could handle adding to that any more.

In addition to the phantom icepick being driven into my brain I was a host of other aches and pains. My ribs, which I was almost positive had been cracked in the accident, throbbed constantly due to my concrete bed and bound wrists. My wrists, though leaps and bounds better now that they were not locked behind my back, were bloodied by the handcuffs constantly digging into them and the exposed wounds stung and sent tickling dribbles of blood down towards the crook of my elbows. My ankle faired even worse, the tight cuff intermittently even tighter due to the swelling of my ankles, the oh so lovely pregnancy symptom Lissa had pointed out before I was taken. I wasn't starving anymore but they fed me less than I needed and as a result I could tell that I was losing a few pounds, which, aside from the health ramifications that presented, made the swelling of my belly more pronounced and harder to conceal. I wasn't sure how long I'd been here for but, either because a good amount of time had passed or because my constant staring at my own stomach had made it impossible to ignore, my belly seemed to have grown into the distinctly rounded shape of early pregnancy. The buttons of my blouse strained over the domed shape and it was only due to the dim lighting of the room and Marlen's self-absorbed nature that he hadn't noticed it already.

I felt as beat up and exhausted as if I'd been in a battle.

"What, no sarcastic remarks?" Marlen taunted. I could tell that he wanted me to continue begging, he took a sadistic pleasure in having brought me to that point. Part of me wanted to, if it meant he wouldn't compel me. The rest of me was too stubborn to give in.

"I don't know about sarcastic but I think I can manage saucy," I quipped weakly.

"Ah, never a disappointment are you, Rose?"

I shrugged weakly and tried to push myself into a sitting position. "I've disappointed plenty of people. I make a habit of it." I succeeded in obtaining some form of vertical position and gave him a sardonic grin.

He exhaled sharply. "I can't wait for tomorrow," he said. "I won't miss your commentary at all."

I scoffed. "If you think my friends will ever trade Lissa for me you truly don't understand a guardian's duty."

Marlen chuckled and it sent instant shivers down my spine.

"I don't truly believe they will make the trade," he assured me, leaning comfortably against a nearby wall, looking the picture of patience and ease.

I gave him a confused look. "Then why did you even bother taking me?"

"It's the anticipation," he said gleefully. "When Lissa and Dimitri don't make the trade they will hold themselves personally accountable for your death."

Ignoring the threat to my life I questioned, "And what good will that do you? It doesn't get rid of either of them."

"If you don't think they will be torn apart by the knowledge that they could have saved you then you don't know them very well." He pushed off the wall and moved to follow me deeper into the room, cornering me. "I will take much joy in watching Dimitri suffer. As for the queen," he shrugged. "I have heard about sprits toll. She'll spiral into a depression so deep I doubt she'll ever pull herself out. It won't be long after that before she takes her own life. It may not be as satisfying as ending her life with my own hands but I'll manage."

I stared at him, eyes wide. I hated Marlen and I had for a while. I hated him not only for what he was but what he was doing to me. It hadn't really occurred to me to hate him for what he was doing to the people I loved. But realizing just how much control he had over Dimitri and Lissa through me made the bile rise in my throat and my hatred burn brighter for him than any I'd felt in a long time.

I had worked so hard to pull Lissa out of her depression for years. First by physically pulling darkness from her and after the bond was broken by being there for her and recognizing the signs. I'd brought her down off of a few metaphorical ledges in the past several years. It would be the ultimate irony if I inadvertently caused her to spiral out of control.

And Dimitri.

Oh Dimitri. He'd battled depression in his life too. Before I met him it was from the loss of his friend and charge. I'd helped him through that without even realizing it at first, when I gave him something to live for. And again after he was Restored I had helped show him what good was still left in him and what he could do with it. What if I wasn't there to help him again?

"You know," Marlen commented casually. "My partner, as you call them, was not happy with my demands."

I raised an eyebrow, momentarily sidetracked from my musings. There wasn't much I could do about things right now, but if there was even a hint of discontent among the partners then I might be able to exploit that, even from within my prison. "How so? They're the ones who were willing to sell out Lissa. Don't they want her gone?"

"Of course they do," he agreed. "They're even happy enough tormenting Belikov. But for some reason they don't want you dead." He shrugged as if this was no real concern to him.

That was news. Confusing news. What Moroi dissident wouldn't want a harbinger of change such as myself out of the picture? Despite his obviously successful relationship with this partner Marlen didn't seem put off by their disagreement.

"And how does that change your plans?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"It doesn't." The curt reply was completely expected but sent shivers down my spine nonetheless. "Having help from within Court is useful but I've already gotten what I need to bring down the queen. While I'd love to see you dead at my hand, should the trade work out I'm sure the revers will be true for you. I don't think you'd survive long without your friend, and Belikov would follow you down."

The terrible part was that he was right. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Lissa was killed and Dimitri might succumb to that depression I was so worried about in either case. Marlen had us either way.

"When we were at Galina's compound," I said slowly. "You were looked down on. Humans and Strigoi alike respected Galina, feared Dimitri and were weary of Nathan. I wonder if you secretly harbored such sadism back then and were just content to to bide your time or if the past few years have just made you bitter."

Marlen smiled, fangs flashing brightly in the dim room. "I like to think that I've always had this in me," he admitted. "But you were also a big inspiration to me. Oh how I've dreamed of this moment over the years. How I've dreamed of torturing you and Dimitri. Let me assure you, Rose," he bent down so that his ruined face was inches from my own, "if you think I'm sadistic now you haven't seen anything yet."

His hand snapped forward as he grabbed hold of my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"No!" I shrieked, squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to avoid his compulsion.

"Open your eyes," he demanded, squeezing my chin with bruising force.

I winced but didn't give in.

"Like I'd listen to you," I hissed. "You've already said you're going to kill me. What else can you threaten me with?"

"Brave words," he snarled. "But I've been with a lot of people on the brink of death and if I've learned one thing," his hand slid from my chin to my throat, "it's that everyone is afraid of dying."

His hand clamped down on my throat and I let out a shriek of panic as my air supply was suddenly cut off. With his Strigoi strength Marlen stood up, dragging me with him. I was slammed against the wall behind me and the sudden impact against the back of my head had my eyes flying wide. I tried to grab at the hand around my throat but I couldn't maneuver my bound hands remotely close enough. I felt the wounds around my wrists reopen and fresh blood swell at the edges. Spots danced before my eyes and my lungs burned as Marlen, for the moment forsaking his attempts at compulsion in lieu of cruel pleasure, pressed closer to me, pinning me completely against the wall as he brought his lips to my ear.

I have no doubt that he intended to say something spine chillingly terrible, but his words were cut off by his own cry of surprise.

The hand around my throat dropped, releasing me. I plummeted to the floor and had just enough presence of mind to catch myself painfully on my arms before I slammed front first into the concrete. I rolled myself onto my side, choking and sputtering, doing my best to gasp in the sweet, stale air.

The spots gradually faded from my vision and I looked up through watering eyes to see Marlen standing over me, eyes wide with shock as he looked at me. Or, more specifically, looked at my belly.

The pieces fell into place in a moment as I realized what had happened. When he'd pressed against me he'd come into contact with my swollen belly. Now, as I lay curled on the floor I felt that my blouse had ridden up enough to expose the lower curve of my pregnant stomach to his surprised eyes.

Fuck.

I said nothing, just stared back at him with equally wide eyes as I waited for him to make the first move. It took a few moments but at last he regained his composure. I could almost see the wheels turning in his mind.

"Well," he said at length. "This changes things now, doesn't it?"

* * *

I groaned as the throbbing in my head heralded my return to consciousness. The last thing I remembered was Marlen forcing me into another dreamless sleep after discovering my pregnancy. The reminder of that fact sent me automatically trying to cup a protective hand around myself. It didn't work. Not only due to the usual issue of my hands being bound, but I realized belatedly that my arms were now secured. In fact my arms and back screamed in pain as they strained to maintain a forced position.

My eyes flew open as I took in my new situation.

I was no longer in what I'd come to refer to as my cell. Instead I was in a large open area with old broken down equipment, catwalks overhead and windows far above. A dim light eked through the windows though old newspapers blocked most of it, plastered liberally across the glass.

There were also several Strigoi staring at me.

I started as I noticed them, still as stone, waiting for something. I'd mistaken them for equipment at first glance, cloaked as they were in shadows. There were over a dozen in the room alone though I knew from my time here that there were more than that at Marlen's disposal.

Marlen himself was front and center, leaning against a large broken conveyer belt, watching me silently. I tried to shy away out of instinct but was unable to. Remembering my earlier realization that I wasn't bound like before, I took a moment to assess my own position.

My wrists were still bound though now they were anchored above my head on some industrial hook that hung down from a rafter about ten feet above me. The strain on my wrists and shoulders was nearly unbearable and I thought I'd be sick from the pain. The cold metal of the cuffs grated against the delicate bones of my wrists and I wondered if a few of them weren't fractured by now. My feet were anchored as well, both in chains now and fastened firmly to the floor. My toes barely touched the concrete but I stretched as best I could to find a foothold, trying to relieve the strain on my arms.

I glared expectantly at my audience.

"I have to say, I'm impressed that you hid that," a nod to my abdomen, "for so long," Marlen said without preamble.

I didn't answer. I didn't want to give away anything that he didn't already know and I certainly didn't want to do something that would have him hurt my baby. Besides, the compulsion migraine was making my thought process a bit fuzzier than I liked.

"It presents us with an interesting conundrum though, does it not? On the one hand it would be worth killing the child on principle, one less guardian in the world would be a good thing. On the other," he moved towards me, stopping only when he was a foot or so away. "It would depend on who the father is."

I felt a muscle twitch at the corner of my lips though I tried my best to mask any and all emotions.

"I know you," he hissed. "And I know Dimitri. You would not cheat on him."

Oh great, I thought dully. I'd been so worried about people not believing me about the baby and here I was with a Strigoi of all people, realizing the truth.

"So that leaves two options," Marlen flicked them off on his fingers. "One, you and Dimitri decided to find an alternative way to start a family, or two," he squinted at my face, ready to jump on any indication he was right, "your queen has figured out another new trick with spirit."

I kept my guardian mask in place.

"Either way, I have a bigger bargaining chip than I planned."

He circled me once, twice and stopped once more in front of me.

"So which is it?" he demanded. "Who is the father?"

"It doesn't matter, does it?" I responded, speaking for the first time. My voice was rough and my throat scratchy but that pain didn't compare to how much my heart ached at the words. "You'll still do whatever you're planning."

"Oh yes," he agreed. "But like I said, I might be able to get more out of you than I originally anticipated." He reached a hand out and casually touched my stomach.

I flinched away so hard that the chains above me rattled and I let out a cry at the sudden pain in my wrists.

"Tell me what I want to know," Marlen commanded in a low voice, "or I'll end your pregnancy right here and now."

I didn't know how true his threat was but could I really take that chance? If there was even a sliver of hope that I could be rescued or get out of here alive then could I risk my baby not getting the same chance?

No. I couldn't.

"You're wrong," I gasped out at last, the words leaving me with great difficulty. I felt tears well up in my eyes at the lie that sprang forth. "I did cheat on him." I felt one tear break free and run down my face. "He was away on an assignment and I was drunk. It was an accident. Dimitri doesn't even know about the baby."

I felt like I would be sick. It hurt my heart to lie about my love for Dimitri and about our baby but it felt like the only way to protect either of them.

Marlen studied me intently.

"You're lying," he growled out at last. Quicker than my eyes could track he was at my side, one hand yanking my hair back, the other laying threateningly on my belly. "Tell me the truth or so help me I'll rip this baby right from your stomach." He fixed me with a stare and demanded, "Who is the father?"

I felt the waves of compulsion hit into my mind like a loaded truck. They sent an instant stab of pain through my head, like they were physically pulling the information from my mind.

I fought it. I fought my damned hardest but in the end Strigoi compulsion won out.

"Dimitri," I choked out and then broke into tears.

Marlen stepped back, a wide grin creeping onto his face.

"That's what I thought."

* * *

*Dimitri*

"And you didn't see anyone who wasn't supposed to be near the room?" Hans asked Guardian Langer. Dimitri, along with Hans, Abe and Mikhail Tanner had been interviewing everyone who had been in the guardian building during the briefing for Lissa's trip to Pittsburgh. There had been a total of thirty-seven people—guardians and Moroi—who had been in the building at some point during the briefing. Guardian Lang, their current interviewee, had been at the control desk monitoring the video feeds including one outside of the door to the briefing room.

Dimitri didn't think Lang had anything to do with betraying Lissa—he was from a respected family and had spoken often of his support for Lissa when they'd come across each other at the gym—but whoever had betrayed Lissa to the Strigoi had had access to the briefing room. Either Lang had lapsed in his diligence on the feeds or he'd seen the responsible party and hadn't realized it.

"No sir," he responded. "The only people near the door had authorization to be there."

"And what about the rest of the building. Did you see anyone who didn't have a clear reason to be here?" Dimitri asked.

Lang shook his head. "The guardians who came in were either assigned here, part of the briefing or were coming to put in availability."

"And the Moroi?" Dimitri pressed.

"There were four in the building," he answered promptly. Dimitri already knew that, they'd interviewed them first.

"Two were requesting guardian services for a trip out of wards, one was asking for a new guardian and one…well one was arguing a bit with Molly."

Dimitri cast a surprised glance towards the other members of his party.

That they hadn't heard of.

"Who was that?" Mikhail demanded. They hadn't talked to Molly yet but she was the lowest on their list of interviewees. She worked the records desk.

"Nathan Ivashkov, sir. I remember because I saw the argument on the feed and it was time for my break so I went to see if she was okay." He shifted uncomfortably and Dimitri caught onto the possibility that Lang and Molly had some sort of office relationship. That really didn't concern him and had nothing to do with the current line of questioning so he left it be.

"Molly's job mostly has to do with Court assignments. Who lives where, who is whose guardian. But when I got there Lord Ivashkov was demanding to have access to the list of new guardian graduates coming in in June."

Hans brow furrowed. "Why would he want that?"

"He didn't really say at the time but later that night—er—well I asked Molly." He flushed slightly. "She said he wanted to put in first bid on new guardians."

"But Lord Ivashkov already has two." As a higher-ranking member of Moroi society who spent a lot of time off Court grounds he was entitled to two guardians. Dimitri knew the two guardians assigned to him. They weren't the friendliest towards other guardians and they always had a harried look about them. Rose often joked that Adrian's father was going to make them abandon their post and run for the human world.

"Did his guardians quit?" Dimitri directed his question at Hans. Hans shrugged, uncertain. The man may be in charge of the largest hub of guardian activity in the world but he didn't know every single detail.

"I wondered the same thing," Lang put in helpfully. "So the next day I went in and checked the records. Guardians Young and Harrington are still assigned to him."

That was interesting indeed. Nathan Ivashkov hadn't kept silent over the past few years. He was a strong advocate against many of the policies Lissa had instituted. He often spoke out against her and how she was undoing everything his aunt had worked for. But still that alone didn't make him the only suspect in the crimes against Lissa. It did warrant more looking into, however. Hans thought the same thing.

He turned to Mikhail. "Have Molly brought in next. I'd like to hear more about what Lord Ivashkov had to say."

Mikhail, who had been orchestrating all of the interviews for the past several days, nodded.

"I'll have her brought right—" he broke off at the insistent blaring of Dimitri's phone. He pulled it out and, after seeing who was calling, answered immediately.

"Janine," Dimitri answered. "Is everything alright?"

"You need to get back here immediately. They sent another email."

* * *

*Dimitri*

"It's a day early," Lissa said as soon as Dimitri and the interrogation party entered her office. The rest of the group was there, minus Angeline who was making some calls to her boyfriend to see if any of his Warrior of Light contacts could be of use.

That had been Dimitri's first thought too, upon hearing Janine's tight message.

"What does it say?" he demanded. After the first message had come through they'd had his email pulled up on the projector in Lissa's office, waiting for further communication. Sydney had done her best to trace the email but it had been "sent through too many proxies" to get a more definitive answer. All that she knew was it had been sent from the northern seaboard.

"It's just a video," Christian said quietly. Obviously they had waited for him to get there before playing it.

They were supposed to contact Dimitri for an answer tomorrow. Why contact him a day early? And why a video?

"When was it sent?" he asked, coming to stand in front of the screen.

"Ten minutes ago," Sydney answered promptly. "And the video's time stamped. It was recorded less than an hour ago."

"Play it."

He really wished his heart would stop beating so loud; he could barely hear his own words, let alone any response that may have been given.

It was the first time in his life that Dimitri wished he wasn't seeing Rose. Not like that. From the moment the video started playing he knew that he'd never un-see that image.

She was strung up, suspended by her arms in a dimly lit room. It wasn't the same room the picture had been taken in. Were they moving locations? Or was this just another room in the same building?

Her head was down, hair tumbling free over her shoulders, obscuring any look at her face. Was she awake? Was she alive? The limpness in her body gave no indication.

"Look at me," a voice off screen demanded after a few seconds and Dimitri felt a startle of recognition.

"I know that voice," he said, body tensing in reflex.

"Who is it?" Abe demanded. He'd taken up a position beside Janine and Dimitri caught sight of his hand on her shoulder before he returned his full attention to the screen.

"I'm not positive. Someone I met in Russia I think." He wished he could narrow it down but he'd met a lot of Strigoi in Russia. He'd killed several too. He needed him to speak more.

The video continued.

"No," Rose said, her voice coming out in a raspy whisper. The sound made Dimitri heave a sigh of relief. She was alive.

"Don't be like that," the Strigoi taunted.

"Fuck off," she snapped and Dimitri heard Adrian scoff somewhere behind him. Was he to take that as a good sign? If Rose was being defiant than she was still okay? Dimitri was still trying to put a face to the voice.

"What? You don't want to say hello to Dimitri?"

Roses head snapped up immediately and Dimitri felt shock course through him. The first thing he noticed was the bruises on her pale skin. Small oval bruises on her jaw and larger, more solid bruises circling her neck. Her raspy voice suddenly made sense as Dimitri realized someone had choked her. He felt the bile rise in his throat at the thought of them harming Rose. She was thin, too. He could see the hollows of her cheekbones and the circles under her eyes. She was pregnant; she shouldn't be losing weight.

But the shock of seeing her face wasn't the only thing that had surprised Dimitri.

He recognized the voice at last.

"Marlen," he spat the name like a curse. "It's Marlen."

"Who is that?" Hans demanded but Dimitri didn't respond. Rose was talking again.

"What do you mean—what are you doing?" she demanded, eyes widening in surprise as she presumably caught sight of the camera pointed at her.

"I thought we could send a little message to your friends back at Court," Marlen said. The camera shook a little as it was passed off.

A figure walked past the camera and towards Rose. Dimitri recognized the arrogant set of his shoulders.

"I thought I killed him," Dimitri said to nobody in particular.

"Why are you doing this?" Rose demanded of him. Dimitri could only imagine what she'd gone through the past several days, knowing it was Marlen who had her. Marlen had hated Rose for what she'd done to him in Russia and Dimitri was sure he didn't feel to kindly towards him after he'd tried to kill him.

"To get my message across." Marlen stopped right in front of Rose and then turned to the camera.

Mikhail let out an impressed whistle. "Not too pretty, is he?" he asked.

Red scar tissue marred half of Marlen's otherwise pale face, extending from his hairline down into his shirt. Dimitri caught a glimpse of more scaring along his left arm.

"He wasn't too bad," Dimitri admitted. "Before I threw him into a fireplace."

"Oh," Mikhail said weakly. "That actually explains a bit."

Yes, it explained why the Strigoi had been willing to demand too high of a price for Rose. Even if they couldn't trade Lissa for her Marlen would succeed in completely destroying Dimitri by taking Rose. Abe had asked why someone would want to hurt him so badly.

He had his answer.

"The terms of Rose's release have somewhat changed," Marlen said, addressing the watchers of the video. "In light of new evidence."

Dimitri's heart stopped. He heard Lissa curse quietly beside him.

In one swift motion Marlen reached out, grabbed the collar of Rose's shirt, and tore it. Buttons went flying in all directions and Rose shrieked in protest. Marlen then grabbed her by the arms and turned her, giving the camera a clear profile view of her and the very distinct swelling of her abdomen.

Dimitri couldn't breathe. There, nestled low on Rose's belly, was the proof of everything he'd been told.

Marlen released her and let her slowly swing back to face the camera. She was very pale. "Now tell us again, Rose. Who is the father?"

"Fuck off," she repeated. He reached out and grabbed her by the lower jaw and Dimitri knew that it wasn't the first time he'd done this.

"Tell us who the father is."

"Compulsion," Lissa breathed. "That's how he's been blocking Adrian."

Dimitri didn't know whether he should feel relieved or not. She wasn't being fed on or kept constantly awake. But to be constantly compelled, to be a puppet for someone else's will…Rose was still being tortured in a different way.

Rose mumbled something.

"Louder," Marlen hissed.

"Dimitri," she whispered through clenched teeth.

"Louder!"

"DIMITRI!" Rose shrieked as she tried to jerk her head away from his grasp. Marlen let her go and Rose dropped her head, refusing to look at the camera.

Marlen smiled and addressed the camera once again.

"So, as you see—and I'm sure you already know—we have an interesting situation here. My demands remain the same: the Moroi queen in exchange for Hathaway. What has changed is my awareness of the situation. Think about it. The queen is one woman. One Moroi. There are more of them. There are even more spirit users. But this woman?" he motioned to Rose who remained frozen in place. "Well there is only one of her. So what shall it be? An expendable Moroi? Or the mother of a new race? Think about it. This could revolutionize your world. Dhampir's may not be as dependent on Moroi as you think.

"And if you decide not to make the trade," Marlen continued. "Well, I don't think any pregnant woman has ever been Awakened before."

Dimitri felt as if he were going to pass out. Marlen had threatened to kill Rose before, a terrible enough fate, but to turn her? For Rose to exist in that horrible state that Dimitri himself had experienced? That still haunted him day and night? No. He could not imagine someone as full of life as Rose being Strigoi.

Lissa let out a sob.

Rose, as shocked as them by Marlen's declaration, snapped her head up and screamed a slew of insults at her captors.

"Don't do it!" Rose ended with, staring directly at the camera. "Dimitri don't do it!" Dimitri felt shock zing through his system as Rose addressed him through the video. "You can't! The world needs Lissa!" Marlen moved faster than Dimitri's eyes could track him. One minute he was closer to the camera, the next he was at Rose's side. His hand snapped out, connecting hard with Rose's face. Dimitri couldn't stop his gasp—lost among the chorus of outrage within the office—as Rose's head lulled to the side, completely slack in unconsciousness. Blood ran from the corner of her mouth.

Marlen addressed the camera once more.

"I will call Dimitri in forty-eight hours. I expect an answer. And consider wisely. I'm curious to see what would happen if you don't agree to my terms."

The screen went blank.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

21

*Dimitri*

"Would he really do it?" Lissa asked quietly. "Would he really turn her?"

Dimitri didn't have to think hard to answer that.

"Yes," he said, voice cracking. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes. He'd do it because it would hurt Rose more than just killing her would. But he'd still kill her eventually."

"Then we have to agree to his terms," she said in the tone she reserved for giving royal decrees.

"No," Hans said immediately, turning to look at her. "We've already discussed this."

"What choice do we have?" Lissa demanded. "Things have changed. You heard him and he's absolutely right. There are other Moroi. Other people who can take the crown. There are two other spirit users in this room right now for Christ's sake!" Lissa flung a hand towards Sonya and Adrian where they sat at a small table in the corner of the room. "There is only one Rose and goddammit Marlen was right. That baby is something this world has never seen before. We don't know for sure if it will be a regular dhampir or if it will be a new race but we can't risk not knowing. It could change everything!"

"We cannot willingly surrender the queen!" Hans protested. "For all you know you can replicate Hathaway's condition with another dhampir couple." Dimitri felt a protective surge towards his unborn child. The child was not a 'condition' and he was about to say so when Abe spoke up.

"Of all of the people in our world," Abe said slowly. "This room holds most of the people with the highest clearance. And out of all of them Rose is the most dangerous to have pitted against us. She has access to information that could upend the guardian system. If she were to be turned Lissa wouldn't be safe, Court wouldn't be safe. Nobody would be safe. It would put you all back ten years in information and security. Not to mention that she'd probably find a way to kill Lissa." Lissa and Christian flinched at that. Honestly, Strigoi Rose was a terrifying thought to contemplate, not only for their personal reasons but because Rose would become an extremely dangerous weapon.

"But you heard Rose," Mia objected. "Not only would she be pissed if we did the trade but she's right. Our society is finally on its way to bridging differences. We are healing and finally moving into the modern age. Without Lissa that would all be lost. I love Rose as much as anyone else but we have to consider this from all angles."

"We're approaching this the wrong way," Sonya cut in, speaking for the first time. She left the small table and moved towards the computer, re-opening the video. She played it again and Dimitri couldn't help but look away. He couldn't stand to see Rose like that again.

"There!" Sonya crowed, drawing Dimitri's attention back to the screen. She'd paused it after Marlen had hit Rose. Dimitri didn't see anything useful from the image, only a terrible sight of his beloved. "We keep arguing over who we can stand to live without. But we can save both!"

"But we don't know where Rose is," Stella pointed out. "That's been the problem this entire time. We've dug up no useful leads."

"But we have another shot!" she pointed to the screen. "The Strigoi knocked Rose out. _Knocked out_ not compelled her! Her mind isn't ensnared by compulsion right now. It's Adrian's chance!"

Adrian looked startled. "That's true enough," he agreed and Dimitri felt hope surge forward. "But we don't know if she's still out."

"The video was taken an hour ago," Sydney said. "Based on the force behind the blow I'd be willing to guess she'll be out for a few hours. You need to try."

All talk of who was the better sacrifice was put on instant hold as the rooms attention turned to Adrian.

He moved to the couch in the corner of the room and began settling himself down for the task.

"Ask her for details about her surroundings," Sydney instructed. "What she sees, smells, feels. Does she hear anything? Have the Strigoi said anything useful? Does she remember anything about the trip there?"

Adrian was nodded absentmindedly as he finally got adjusted. "I'll try my best," he said and Dimitri knew that Adrian was addressing him personally. "But I can't promise anything."

"If you do see her," Dimitri said, coming to stand beside the royal, "tell her I will find her. Tell her I'm coming for her."

Adrian gave one last nod before closing his eyes and diving into his work.

* * *

I was laying in my cell minding my own business when my hallucinations started.

At first I thought, perhaps, Marlen had hit me a bit too hard because I hadn't hallucinated Adrian before. I'd certainly had less than lucid moments when I thought Dimitri was beside me or I talked to Lissa through our now non-existent bond, but never Adrian.

"Oh good," I sighed. "Now I'm hallucinating."

Adrian, who'd been looking around the room in distaste, focused on me at my words. His eyes widened and he was by my side immediately.

"It's no hallucination, little dhampir," he said gently. "I'm here."

"You can't be," I argued. "There are too many guards."

Adrian shrugged. "Maybe I'm not physically here but I am here. This is a dream, Rose, and I'm really talking to you."

"A…dream?" I questioned, trying to process the meaning of his words. My mind was so scrambled I could barely piece together a few thoughts. "But I can't dream. He won't let me."

"He made a mistake," Adrian assured me. "Now stand up, come on." The chains around me suddenly vanished as Adrian controlled the dream around us. He reached out a hand and slowly helped me to my feet.

I gently probed the laceration around my left wrist, wincing at the pain. This was the first time my wrists had been free since I'd woken up in the cell. I dropped my hands to my belly, feeling the reassuringly solid curve underneath my hands. My shirt, as it must have been back in the real world, was completely ruined, parted down the middle with missing buttons and frayed fabric to reveal my body and its secrets to the world.

"How long have I been here?" I asked Adrian, marveling at the feeling of the child beneath my hands.

"Almost two weeks," Adrian said quietly. "How are you, little dhampir?" He studied me carefully.

I have him a weak smile. "I've been better," I admitted. My head was beginning to hurt. "But it's good to see you. Using spirit again, huh?"

"Yeah, I have to say I've kind of missed it."

"Thank you for doing this for me."

"Of course. Rose, we don't have much time. I need your help. What can you tell me about this place?" He gestured around at my cell. "We saw this room in the picture but have you seen anything else? What can you tell me?"

I shrugged and gestured around the room as if to present it to him. Suddenly I couldn't recall too many details. "I'm here mostly. It's cold. I'm so cold. And there are rats."

"Okay, anything else? Do you hear anything?" Adrian prompted.

"Footsteps," I answered immediately. "I have guards on my door. And talking. There are a lot of Strigoi here. I've seen maybe twenty but it sounds like there are more."

"Okay good, that's good to know. What else?" I could see him mentally constructing a list of the details I provided and tried my best to supply more.

"Marlen leaves sometimes," I said, recalling my time here and the gaps between visits. "I sleep a lot and I can't tell what time it is but there are stretches of time that Marlen doesn't visit. I think he leaves."

"It would make sense if he's hunting. What else? What about the building? What more can you tell me?"

"Trains," I said. "I hear trains," I concentrated on my surroundings. It had been a while since I'd been in a spirit dream but I remembered that I could manipulate my surroundings. I recalled the sound of the trains in the distance. I'd heard them a few times during my stay. A few moments later the distant call of a train horn sounded. Adrian jerked his head around, startled. "I think they're a mile or so away. And when they recorded the video…" I struggled to remember my surroundings. "We were in a really big room. Like, almost the size of a football field." I closed my eyes in concentration. "There were windows, in the ceiling. They were covered in newspaper. And lots of metal rafters. Catwalks. And broken machinery."

"What kind of machinery?" he demanded, grasping onto that detail.

I opened my eyes to look at him again. "I'm not sure. Most of it was broken down into pieces. But I think there was a conveyer belt."

Pain spiked in my head and the room suddenly went fuzzy. "What's happening?" I asked, suddenly terrified that Adrian was about to disappear and leave me alone again. "Am I waking up?"

"No, you're not," he assured me. "Its because of you. I think you have a concussion."

"Oh," I reached my hand up to my head. The throbbing was getting worse. "My head hurts all the time."

"Take deep breaths and concentrate," Adrian coached. He reached out and rested a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I did as he said, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. When I opened my eyes a few moments later the headache was still there but the room had clarified a bit.

"Good, Rose. Really good. Anything else?"

I looked around my cell, thinking. What could I tell him? I spent most of my time curled up in the corner sleeping. When I wasn't doing that I was being taunted or being escorted to the bathroom…

"They take me out of here for bathroom breaks," I told Adrian.

"What do you see then?" he prompted.

"A hallway." I concentrated once more and the room around us changed. Suddenly we were in the hallway I was escorted down for bathroom breaks. "There are office doors," I gestured to the doors that lined the hallway. They always stayed shut. "And flyers." Crumpled and faded papers suddenly appeared lining the walls. My memory of them was indistinct so the resulting images in the dream were blurry. Adrian squinted at one, trying to determine what it said. I tried my best to explain. "They're old and weird. Patriotic phrases about keeping America together, liberation and something about gorillas."

"Gorillas?" Adrian asked, sidetracked. He abandoned his quest for details and turned to look at me, concerned. "How's your head?"

"It hurts," I admitted. "But I'm serious."

"Okay," he said slowly. "Patriotic stuff and gorillas. What else?"

"At the end of the hall there's a door," I moved forward to show him said door. "We go through it and up a narrow flight of stairs to get to the bathroom. But on the door to the stairs there's a sign."

We were at the door now and he saw the sign for himself. Like my memories of the flyers in the hallway, my recall of the sign was less than perfect. I could recall the message as well as vague designs and did my best now to reconstruct it.

"'Now leaving work floor'," Adrian read. "What about it?"

"The logo," I pointed to the half finished image at the bottom of the sign. "I can't remember the whole thing but I think it's the company logo for wherever I am."

Adrian bent down to study the image, a half completed picture of interlocking lines.

"I'll draw it when I get back," he said at last, standing straight. The hallway dissolved around us as I lost my hold on the memory. We ended up back in my cell. Everything was fuzzy again. I cupped a hand to my forehead, emitting a small hiss of pain.

Adrian was at my side again. "I'm sorry, Rose. I don't want you to hurt."

"It's okay," I gasped. "It needs to be done. But I don't know anything else."

"I'll tell Sydney what you told me. She'll find you. And then your Russian will be here to save you."

I gave a small laugh. "Four years later and you still can't call him Dimitri?"

"Oh I could," he said flippantly. "But there's no fun in that. But seriously," he sobered up as he spoke. "We will find you Rose and then Dimitri will stop at nothing to get you. The man hasn't stopped looking since he found out you were missing. None of us have."

I sighed and dropped my hands to my stomach once more. "I wish I could have been the one to tell him," I admitted, tears fighting to escape.

"I know," Adrian soothed, rubbing a light hand up and down my spine. "But Lissa told him and that's the next best thing. It wasn't ruined by Marlen."

"There's so much I have to tell him."

"You'll get the chance soon enough. We're going to bust you out of here. All you need to focus on right now is keeping yourself and the littlest dhampir," he reached out and placed a brief touch on my stomach, "alive."

"I'm trying, Adrian. I really, really am."

The dream was extremely grainy now and Adrian was beginning to get lost in it.

"I have to go now, Rose. I'll see you soon."

"I don't want to be alone again," I said, voice cracking as panic shot through me. I couldn't go back to reality, bound on the floor of my cell with nobody there to comfort me.

"You aren't alone, remember?" he touched my belly once more. "You're never alone." He leaned forward and placed a barely there kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you soon."

And he was gone.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Adrian sat up so fast he smacked foreheads with Lissa.

"Ow shit!" he cursed, hand flying to his rapidly reddening head.

Lissa quickly righted herself and said, "You found Rose didn't you? I could see it in your aura!"

Dimitri, already standing near the prone form of the royal, moved in to squat beside Lissa. "You saw Rose?"

"Ow. Damn it Lissa you're head is filled with rocks. Yes, I saw Rose," he said, throwing his legs over the side of the couch and addressing his audience.

There was a general outcry of surprise and elation.

"How is she?" Dimitri asked immediately. Lissa shifted so she was sitting beside Adrian on the couch.

"She's…." he hesitated, looked guiltily at Dimitri, then finished, "bad, actually. I think she has a concussion. The connection was pretty poor and she was having trouble focusing. But I was able to talk to her."

Dimitri pushed aside his worry in favor of the good news. "What did she have to say?"

"Get ready, Sage," he said to Sydney who was already moving to her computer command center. "I have a list for you."

"Ready," she said once situated behind the computers.

"She's being held in an industrial building. It's large, with a workroom as big as a football field. Rose said it's at least two, probably more stories high with windows in the ceiling. There's old broken down equipment, catwalks and rafters." Sydney was busily typing to keep up with Adrian's list. "She said most of the equipment was too broken to recognize but she thought there was a conveyer belt. There was a hallway of offices outside her room that lead to a door. There was a sign. Can I have some paper?" Sonya immediately handed over a notebook and pencil. Adrian began sketching as he talked. "She could also hear trains. A mile—maybe two—away. She couldn't peg a schedule but they were frequent enough."

"What else? How was Rose feeling? Did she have anything else to say?" Janine demanded, coming to stand beside Dimitri.

"She was…like I said she was hurting. She's been kept in that room chained up the entire time. She'll need a while to recover."

"The baby?" Dimitri asked. "Was the baby okay?"

Adrian glanced up from his sketch to look at him. "Seemed so. I told her what you said. It helped." He turned his attention back to Janine and continued. "Rose said that Marlen leaves sometimes, overnight she thinks, but she's never alone. She's personally seen over twenty Strigoi but thinks there's maybe double that."

"That many?" Hans asked, incredulously. "You didn't even have that many when you kidnapped the Queen," he said to Dimitri, who winced at the reminder.

"Remember the increase in Strigoi activity lately?" he said dully. "I think we might have just found a major contributing factor. Marlen's been building an army."

"That makes this entire mission risky," he said. "We don't even meet half their numbers. We can't stage a rescue until we do."

"So we'll ask for volunteers," Lissa said. "Rose has a lot of friends at Court and there are more people who are willing to strike out at Strigoi. I'm sure we'd get enough people. The Moroi magic group, too. Only the teachers and volunteers," she stressed. "I'm not going to force anyone to walk into that situation."

"It might be enough," Hans admitted. "But do we even know where she is?" he directed that question at Sydney.

"I'm narrowing it down," she said, not looking away from the screen. "If we look for buildings of those specifications in one hundred miles of the crash site and factor in train tracks with crossings within two miles of the buildings…." she trailed off as she typed. "It's something to go off of. The system will run down all of the possible matches. It may not be enough, though," she admitted. "This is Pennsylvania. There are a lot of abandoned industrial parks."

"And we only have until tomorrow," Christian said unhelpfully. "Is there anything else?" he directed his question at Adrian.

"Well…" Adrian hesitated. "Rose started rambling at one point. I told you I think she has a concussion. She wasn't making sense."

Brain trauma was a serious thing and Dimitri felt his concern for Rose grow markedly. A simple backhand from Marlen could have much larger ramifications then it had seemed at the time.

"What was she saying?" he asked.

"She remembered posters in the hallway," Adrian said. "They'd take her through it to go to the restroom. Then she started rambling about 'keeping America united', 'liberation' and gorillas. It was about then that the dream started slipping though." Adrian looked guilty for admitting it, like he was going to tarnish Rose's reputation by admitting it.

"She's been locked up by herself for a while," Daniel said after a few seconds of silence. "That messes with a person's mind. Not to mention whatever they've been tormenting her with. I'd be surprised if she didn't go a little crazy."

That put a sobering effect on the gathering. Adrian fiddled nervously with the notebook in is hand before he realized what he was doing.

"Oh, here. This is the sign she showed me. There's part of a logo on the bottom but she couldn't remember the rest." He passed the notebook to his wife. Sydney scanned it quickly. "I'll cross reference any results with this. It might narrow things down." She went back to typing and Dimitri realized that they'd get no more from her until the computer did its job.

"We need to get a team together," Janine said, echoing his thoughts. "Lord Ozera is right, we don't have much time. When the results come back we have to be ready to move."

* * *

*Dimitri*

"I know that rescue missions are not common," Lissa said to the gathered crowd of Court guardians, all of which had been extensively checked out by Abe's sources and deemed free of any possible connections to Moroi rebels. "Most of the time we write off those taken as dead and move on. Only, in the case of Guardian Hathaway we know she is alive. In less than twenty-four hours the Strigoi who have her will be contacting Guardian Belikov. At that time we are to either trade myself for her or let her be turned. Many of you know Guardian Hathaway," Lissa continued. "You know of her kindness and willingness to help others. You know of her dedication to her job. I think you also know what a dangerous enemy she'd make to the Moroi." In the crowd someone scoffed. Lissa gave a wry smile. "I would not want to have Rose Hathaway against me, which is exactly what will happen if she is turned." Against Hans's better judgment Lissa had decided to reach out to the Court guardians for help finding Rose. As Janine had said, they'd need a team ready at a moments notice. Hans hadn't wanted to do that until they had a solid lead on where Rose was but conceded under Lissa's demands. Dimitri, though conscious of Hans concerns, was confident in Sydney's ability to track Rose down in time.

"I cannot promise you that everyone here will come back alive. I cannot promise you that the mission will be successful. However, I can promise you that everyone standing before you will do anything to see Rose safely back home." Lissa gestured to the front of the room where Dimitri, Janine, Hans, Mikhail, Eddie, Angeline and the rest of the royal guard stood. "We will be bringing magic users with us as well. This is a chance to strike at the heart of the enemy. We know where they are and we have a good idea of their numbers. If there was ever a chance to take a proactive approach against the Strigoi now is the time!"

Dimitri saw people nodding along with Lissa's words. This was what it meant to be a good monarch, he knew. This was what Rose fought for every day and this was what had driven her to risk her life and soul in order to keep Lissa on the throne. People listened to her. She spoke to them on a personal level and, even in the face of danger and possible death, rallied them. To the dhampirs in the room she was their queen, their leader and the beacon of hope for a brighter future. She fought for them as much as she fought for Moroi. She fought for equality and peace. Dimitri knew, too, that it must stay this way. Lissa must live to bring their people into a better future.

He wondered what the guardians before them would say if they knew Rose was pregnant. They had debated and decided to keep that a secret. If something were to happen they did not want word getting out. Besides, all of Rose's fears about disrupting the guardian system were completely valid.

So the choice to be a part of the rescue mission would be completely based on their feelings towards Rose and towards their queen. Lissa was the picture of poise and calm as she waited for volunteers but Dimitri knew she was on pins and needles. Not only was Rose on the line here but this moment was the culmination of everything she'd been working towards over the years. To proactively seek out Strigoi with the aid of Moroi magic. To put decision making in the hands of the dhampirs. This was a monumental moment for the queen.

There was a moment of silence within the crowd as they made their decisions. Then one man stood up. Dimitri recognized him as one of the guardians Rose sometimes spared with at the gym. He'd also been one of the guardians that had arrested Rose for the murder of Queen Tatiana so many years ago.

"I will go," he said. "For Rose."

Lissa beamed at him. "Thank you."

"So will I," said another man, also standing.

"And me."

"Me too."

In rapid succession every guardian in the room got to their feet and proclaimed their willingness to go after Rose.

In the end thirty-four guardians volunteered. Including their original rescue team that brought the number up to forty-seven. Plus Christian, Mia and three other magic users.

For the first time since Lissa had told him that Rose had been taken, Dimitri felt like he'd really get to hold her again.

Now all they needed was for Sydney to pull through.

* * *

I woke up to red eyes. Maybe Marlen was going for a scare tactic, maybe he thought he'd startle me. He was wrong.

I don't know if my lack of reaction was due to the fact that I had often woken up in Siberia to Dimitri's Strigoi eyes or because I was too tired to actually react. Either way I did nothing more than blink slowly when his eyes came into focus.

Marlen gave a grunt of annoyance and straightened up from his crouching position beside me on the floor of my cell. I must have been returned to it sometime during my dreaming. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to go back to my dream with Adrian where I was free of my chains and not alone. I watched Marlen pace and realized just how alone I was in this moment. I was surrounded by dozens of Strigoi but the presence of another living—or close enough—being didn't actually mean you had company. If there wasn't someone with you who genuinely cared about you then you were alone.

I'd never been more alone in my entire life.

Even with Dimitri in Siberia he'd held some semblance of concern towards me, tainted as it was by his own power hungry desires. But after having just left my dream with Adrian, having seen the worry in his eyes and felt his desire to help find me, the difference was as startling as having a bucket of ice water dropped over my head.

I wanted to cry. There were very few times in my life when I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. A few of those times had happened during my pregnancy. But concern about what others would think, fear over my changing lifestyle and trepidation over being thrust into parenthood all paled in comparison to the waves of desolation that crashed over me now. A small part of my mind wondered if Lissa would peg this downward spiral of emotions as another pregnancy symptom but the rest of me didn't care what it was. I wanted to close my eyes and hide until Dimitri and my friends rescued me. I wanted someone else to be responsible for the hard work now and for it to be okay for me to need help. I was so tired of being strong.

 _But you have to be strong_ , a voice in my head—sounding suspiciously of Dimitri—said. _It's not all about you._

Not all about me. No it wasn't. I wasn't the only one locked in this cell and sometimes I tended to forget that.

I shifted and repositioned my bound arms so that I could awkwardly touch the curve of my belly. Never full contact, I thought bitterly, barely the brush of fingertips. I craved the ability to lay my palms fully over my swelling belly like I had in my dream. I wanted to be able to marvel in the changes to my body and the meaning behind it. But for now I'd settle with a caress.

Marlen was watching me from across the room.

"I wonder if they'll actually come for you," he mussed, moving to lean against the wall behind him as he studied me, arms crossed. "Will they come out of love for you and the hope your child brings or will the old guardian dogma win out? Will they value their pathetic queen above you?"

"She's not pathetic," I hissed. I tried to shift once more and sit up but couldn't make my body comply. I managed to get halfway up before my world started spinning and I went crashing back to the ground. I gritted my teeth against the sharp pain in my shoulder and side and continued on. "She's good and pure and smart. She cares about all of her people, even those that oppose her. She wants what's best for the Moroi and the damphirs. She _belongs_ on that throne!"

"You follow her so blindly. I wonder if you realize that you are just as much a prisoner with her as you are with me."

"I don't recall ever wearing chains around her," I pointed out, holding my bound hands forward in example.

He shrugged. "There is more than one way to be a prisoner. You are as bound by your duties as you are by these chains. So much so that you are even putting her above your own child."

"I am not!" I argued sharply, but despite my objection the words stung. I wasn't, was I?

"You fight for them to leave you here while they go on protecting her," he pointed out.

"What are the chances you'd actually let me go?" I snapped. I couldn't look at the situation as black and white. This entire time I had to believe that there was a very real chance that Marlen wouldn't keep up his end of the deal. Could I risk Lissa and myself? Marlen had said that he had a deal with someone inside Court and they had said not to hurt me but would it really be in his nature to keep that promise once he had what he wanted? What more would he benefit from his turncoat companion after this? He wasn't really concerned with burning bridges. If that were the case then better to insure one life than risk both. But did that make Marlen right? I didn't really have any choice but when I'd yelled at the camera for Dimitri to save Lissa…well I'd meant it. I had a child inside me, my own child who I was supposed to love and protect with every breath in my body, and yet I had told them to save Lissa. It wouldn't really make a difference in the long run but what did that say about me as a mother? Did I even have the right to be one?

Unaware of my internal debate Marlen answered, "If I had it my way, none. Of course, I still could do that. But I made a deal and if I'm to get everything we agreed upon then I'll stick to it."

Everything agreed upon? What would he get after the exchange?

"They won't do it," I said. "They won't make the trade. I guess you'll just have to content yourself with killing me."

"Oh trust me," he pushed off the wall and came towards me, once more bending down to look me in the eye. "I intend to enjoy every moment of your death."

* * *

*Dimitri*

The logistics meeting was a pretty somber affair, which made it even more startling when Sydney came running into the room, Adrian hot on her heels. Prior to this Dimitri, Hans, Eddie and Janine had been leaning over a table with a sketch of the building Adrian had described, guessing the locations of Strigoi. They were joined by a handful of other guardians, team leaders, while the rest prepared to leave. Janine was just sketching out the most probable configuration of guards when the Ivashkov's crashed in.

"Rose is brilliant!" Sydney cried out, brandishing a handful of papers she had clutched in her hand. "Completely brilliant!"

"What?" Eddie asked, confused. He was taken aback by her sudden appearance, let alone what she had to say. "I thought she was crazy."

"Well, no more than she usually is," Sydney assured him, venturing further into the crowded room, mindless of the guardians giving her weary looks. Years later people still viewed the human Lady Ivashkov with trepidation. Sydney ignored them and continued. "The computer brought back some results based off of the structural information."

"What was it?" Dimitri demanded, moving around the table and to her side in an instant.

"There were sixteen buildings that matched Roses description," she said at first.

"That's too many to check," Hans jumped in immediately, not waiting for Sydney to continue as she was obviously primed to do. She glared at him and continued as if there hadn't been an interruption.

"There are two main industrial parks that hold a majority of the locations but there are a total of seven different locations among them. Yes, that's too many to search in our time frame. _However_ , Adrian's sketch came in handy." She sent a radiant smile in her husbands direction before proceeding. "The sketch is a partial of the logo for an old car manufacturing company: REO motor cars!"

"A car company? Are you sure?" Hans demanded.

"Sage knows her cars, Guardian Croft," Adrian assured Hans, moving to stand beside his wife and drop a kiss on the top of her head. More weary looks among the guardians.

"Why does REO motor cars make sense?" Dimitri asked.

"They started manufacturing in 1905 but after Pearl Harbor in 1941 their assembly lines got switched over to manufacturing tanks and other war necessities—like many assembly plants back then," Sydney said in her best lecturers voice. "The posters Rose was talking about? Those are all slogans for the Vietnam War!"

"Even gorillas?" Janine asked dubiously, trying to figure out Sydney's 'brilliant' comment.

" _Guerrilla_ warfare. It was a common tactic used back in Vietnam. The posters must have been left after the company went out of business. After the war a lot of production companies had a hard time switching back over to their normal products. REO went out of business in 1975. It all makes sense."

"Does that narrow down the other results?" Dimitri asked her, heart racing.

Sydney dropped the papers she'd been holding on top of the sketch they'd been working on. One was a map of eastern Pennsylvania with concentric circles marking it up. The other was a picture of an old four-story brick factory. "REO motors had an assembly plant in an old industrial park in Queen City, one that matches the details Rose gave us. It's one point three miles away from a popular railroad line and it's thirty-eight miles away from where Rose was taken."

* * *

 **A/N: I know you're all chomping at the bit for Dimitri to save Rose. Sorry it took so long but I wanted to explore multiple POVs during the situation. But I promise, next chapter is it!**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

*Dimitri*

"This is almost identical to the time we saved Lissa and Christian," Mikhail said. The ' _from you'_ was tactfully avoided but Dimitri understood it no less. As soon as Sydney had confirmed the location of Rose's prison the guardians had been in motion, loading into a fleet of black sedans alongside the chosen magic users and heading towards Queen City. Now, as the fleet pulled off to the side of a service road about a mile from the target location to make last minute plans, Mikhail decided to draw the comparison.

"Marlen spent a lot of time in Galina's compound," Dimitri said in a clipped voice. "We strategized. He must have learned a thing or two from me."

"Which means we're walking into an extremely dangerous situation," Janine put in. Dimitri didn't know whether to take that as a backhanded complement of his skills or not. Probably not. Janine Hathaway was sparse in her complements and abundant in her pragmatism. More likely she was just stating a fact. Regardless, she was right.

"Janine's right," he echoed. He pulled out a copy of the building schematics that Sydney had printed for him. Studying them as he had the entire drive he addressed the gathered guardians. "Expect a loose perimeter around the building exterior and another ring on the main floor. The room Rose is in is down in the basement. There will probably be heavy guard on the door to the stairs and more outside of the room. Marlen has learned not to underestimate Rose." Dimitri remembered the brief moments after he'd woken up with a chair leg in his chest in Siberia. He'd immediately understood Rose's plans and had been highly impressed—and enraged—at her cunning. He'd torn open the door to the room only to discover Marlen trapped in the hallway instead of Rose. His anger at the other Strigoi's failure had been immense as he'd thrown the man aside and ripped the second door from the wall. Marlen's own anger had been boiling as well. He hadn't expected a young girl could get the jump on him without her dhampir backup, let alone one he saw as a drugged up blood whore. Dimitri felt a bitter smile creep over his lips. "He'll have a constant guard on her."

Plans were reviewed for a final time and then they were off, heading towards the old REO motors assembly plant. It was nearing sunrise and in the predawn gray the guardians saw no need for headlights. Though the Strigoi would have nowhere to run they didn't want to alert them any earlier then necessary. The exterior parameter he was anticipating would be seeking shelter any minute. They could wait it out and attack with one less ring of security but that would just pack more bodies into tighter quarters. They were better off utilizing the extra space and the sun once it did come up.

Dimitri felt the emotions running high within him. The desire to attack the enemy and take them out was strong, an internal battle he always fought. Rose had easily picked up on that part of him early on in their relationship. It was one of the first—of many—time's she'd been able to read him so completely. But as his SUV came to a halt outside the old brick building and the enemy came into sight he felt the cool, calculated mindset of battle wash over him. Letting his emotions rule him would only result in mistakes. It had been a hard lesson for both him and Rose.

Just as Dimitri had anticipated, there was a ring of Strigoi around the building. The guardians had split into three attacking groups, coming at the building from three different directions in order to breech the major entrances. Dimitri's group was attacking the main entrance and was comprised of Janine, Hans, Eddie, Mikhail, Stella, Alistair, Christian and a group of Court guardians that brought their numbers up to seventeen. He could hear over his earpiece the moment the other groups came into contact with the enemy but he didn't let it distract him as he fell onto his first target.

There were seven Strigoi at this section of the grounds and they reacted immediately to the threat, hoping that brute force and ferocity would compensate for numbers. They hadn't, however, expected a fire user.

The first one lit up in mere seconds. Dimitri, when not consumed with his own battle, recognized it as a distraction rather than something that actually burned the Strigoi as well as Christian's energy. The victim didn't. Eddie swooped in on Christian's target and neatly staked the Strigoi in about half the time it took Dimitri to get the advantage on his opponent and slide his stake through the man's back.

They cleared the parameter and quickly gained entrance to the building, reporting to the other groups as they did. One more group was also entering, the last finishing up outside.

There were definitely more Strigoi inside. They left the door wide open, an easy escape route for them as well as a tool to use against the Strigoi. The faintest haze of orange lit the outside world but inside the building it was nearly black. Dhampir sight made it manageable, but Dimitri would definitely prefer some lights for better detail.

He couldn't miss the Strigoi launching herself at him though, light or no.

He fell easily into the lull of battle, taking no stock of how many Strigoi he fought or the difference between them. After he'd been Restored it had been difficult to fight Strigoi and not see them all as different. He'd recognized each one for their crimes and wanted to take personal vengeance on each one. Rose had partially helped him move past that but most of it was pure practice. Now he was able to slip into his old form of battle, searching for weak points to exploit, being cautious of the enemies strengths, and moving onto the next target as quickly as possible.

Within minutes the last team of guardians had joined them and Dimitri started fighting towards the stairwell he knew led to Rose. He was part of the extraction team. He felt Christian fall into place behind him while Janine, Mikhail and Eddie surrounded him. They might have been a rescue team but they still had a Moroi to protect. Dimitri had some qualms about taking his charge and good friend into a deadly situation but Christian was a warrior like the rest of them and he knew that he couldn't let his fear of losing someone he cared about overshadow the good they could do.

There we no guards in the stairwell but once he kicked open the door into the following hallway they swarmed.

They'd been anticipating some guard here, and more in the main area of the plant. Going off of the numbers they'd already seen Dimitri suspected that they'd under-anticipated the number of Strigoi on the premises. He'd have to puzzle over Marlen's recruitment capabilities later but for now his only focus was Rose.

They fell on the enemy once more, using gravity to their advantage as they came down the stairs from higher ground. The narrow hallway had actually made their numbers seem greater at first. They still outnumbered the guardians almost two to one.

Christian lit up two more Strigoi, putting more energy into it then he had up until this point. One went wildly crashing through a door and the wooden frame went up in flames along with him.

"Oops," he heard Christian say. Dimitri used this to his advantage and tossed his opponent against the flaming wall. The Strigoi—a man who was unskilled and clearly once human—screeched in pain as the flames licked at his back. Dimitri's stake quickly put an end to his suffering.

Something struck him on his shoulder and Dimitri let out a grunt of pain before spinning around to face his attacker. There were two, teaming up to take out the larger threat. The impact had come from the female attempting to latch onto his should with her nails and loosing her grip on the leather of his duster. Dimitri made a mental note to use this instance as a defense for his duster the next time Rose picked a fight.

He brought his stake up to keep distance between them and him as he assessed his options. The woman, once dhampir, snarled at him while the man, also once dhampir, assessed the situation with a more critical eye. He'd be the trickier of the two. The woman struck, and Dimitri was forced to prioritize.

He eventually managed to toss her into the rapidly burning office where another guardian staked her as she fled. He turned back to the man but in that split second of distraction he was already in motion. Dimitri caught the brunt of his kick directly in the chest.

He went stumbling back a few feet and lost his grip on his stake. Already slick with blood and sweat the metal weapon flew from his hand and went rolling down the hallway with a deceptively cheerful _clink clink clink._ Dimitri gasped, trying to re-inflate his lungs, as the Strigoi came at him again. And then they were dancing. They traded blow for blow but Dimitri knew he couldn't keep this up as long as the other man could. He was already exhausted from earlier fights while this Strigoi was fresh and ready to go. Dimitri did his best to corral the Strigoi towards the fire which was now filling the hallway with an acrid haze of smoke, but he was too aware of the strategy and foiled him at every move.

Ultimately, what the Strigoi wasn't aware of was Hans and his lack of opponents.

His eyes widened in surprise as the tip of a silver stake suddenly broke through his chest. Then he fell.

Hans stood behind him, stake poised, and covered in streaks of sweat, blood and soot.

Dimitri nodded his thanks. He retrieved his stake and turned back to his team. They were all showing the wear of the day but he was relieved to see that nobody was dead or dying. Mikhail had a pretty decent cut to his forehead and Hans was standing in a way that suggested he'd done damage to an ankle. But overall not dead.

Taking this as enough reason to continue, Dimitri stepped over a fallen Strigoi and continued down the hall.

"We should probably hurry before this entire place burns down."

Christian shrugged. "I'd put it out but I'm saving my strength."

"Keep it," Janine advised. "It might deter any followers."

"And burn down the awful décor," Christian added cheerfully. He was enjoying himself.

Eddie, at Dimitri's side, looked at the wall and laughed. "Rose was right! There are gorillas!" he pointed gleefully at a poster.

"Guerilla," Hans corrected.

"Well yeah but the drawings look like—"

"Enough," Dimitri cut him off. They were at the last door to the hallway. "Let's get Rose."

* * *

*Rose*

I was becoming faintly aware of the sounds of battle. It was surprising after so many days of whispered conversations and footsteps. I stirred from my sprawl on the floor where Marlen had left me and pushed myself up into the best approximation of a defensive stance I could manage. It wasn't very good. My head throbbed and the room seemed to pulse around me. I hadn't been given any food or water in the past day or so and that combined with my sedentary lifestyle as of late left me weak. Plus, the chains around my leg and wrists made it difficult to maneuver. None the less I cornered myself in the room as best as I could, so that my back was protected, and hunched low, bringing my elbows down to provide some sort of protection to my growing belly.

And then I waited.

Marlen had left a few hours ago, saying that he needed to go gather his strength before the exchange and he'd see me tomorrow. Judging from the sounds coming from outside the door now I gauged that he wouldn't be seeing me any time soon.

A sudden thud shook the door and it was ripped open without ceremony. I had hoped to see Dimitri storming into the room like the god he was. He'd then rip the chains from the wall and abscond with me to the world above.

Dimitri did come in, but not before a Strigoi came charging in ahead of him. I wasn't as prepared for him as I'd hoped. He moved quicker then my addled mind could track and it was mere seconds before he had me pressed up against him, one arm across my throat, the other resting on my stomach as he used me as a shield against Dimitri's blood smeared stake.

We all froze.

As precarious as the situation was I couldn't help but drink in Dimitri's appearance. I'd missed him so much that it was like a physical hole in my chest. Seeing him now was infinitely better than the dreams or hallucinations I'd had about him. Even bruised and bloody, surrounded by his battle haze, he was absolutely gorgeous. He was watching me too, drinking in every last detail of the room, and me from the chain around my ankle to the mussed tangles of my hair and everything in-between. His eyes rested longest on my belly and the clawed hand perched on it. I shivered at the contact of the cool, hard skin against my flesh. I wanted to shake it off and run to Dimitri but I couldn't. I was certainly in no position to get out of this and Dimitri was caught, too. The Strigoi had taken advantage of my earlier position and cornered himself so there was no hope of anyone getting behind him in the tiny room. There was no room to maneuver, no room to get to him without hurting me.

There was another scuffle outside the door and suddenly my mother and Hans were in the room, too. The Strigoi, not liking his odds in such a small room with three silver stakes pointed his way, drew me more tightly against his chest. I couldn't help but let out an involuntary squeak as the move simultaneously pulled on tender ribs and restricted the amount of air I was getting.

"Let her go," Dimitri said, shaken from his stupor at last as he heard me. "Let her go and maybe we'll let you walk out of here."

"No you won't," the Strigoi hissed. "I've heard of you. No guardian ever lets a Strigoi go but you," he sneered at Dimitri, "word has it that you take all Strigoi out as a way to redeem yourself from your past."

Dimitri kept control of his features but I could see surprise flicker through his eyes. When he was first Restored he'd definitely taken that perspective. As time passed he'd reconciled with himself a bit but I also knew he took ridding the world of Strigoi personally.

My vision dimmed a bit from lack of air.

I wanted so badly to claw at the Strigoi's restraining arm but I knew that I wouldn't be able to with my wrists bound. All I'd succeed in doing would be to startle him and that wasn't something we could afford right now. As it was my hands had instinctively gone to the one he rested on my stomach when he grabbed me, my own nails biting into the back of his hand.

 _I'm going to die_ , I realized somewhat detached. The realization didn't seem as important as it should have. _I'm going to die right here, in front of the man I love. Oh how that will hurt him._ It wasn't so much care over my own lost life that hurt me—though it was certainly concerning—it was the realization of what my death would do to Dimitri. He'd been so lost after his school friend and charge Ivan had died. How much worse would it be when he lost the woman he loved and his child?

Of course I was upset about losing them both. I'd fought so hard to get to this point and to lose everything now was tragic.

But we couldn't do anything about it. I didn't think the Strigoi realized how tight he was holding me. I was his bargaining chip and if I died he had nothing. But his grip on me was too tight and blackness was creeping rapidly into my vision.

I looked at Dimitri and hoped that he could see how much I loved him. How much I regretted no being able to share the rest of our lives together. How much I wanted to raise our baby as a family. I needed him to know that. He had to know.

I saw that he did know. His eyes met mine and I saw the internal battle he waged. How could he get us out of this situation?

"Here's how its going to go," the Strigoi said. "I'm going to walk out of here with her and you're going to let me. Try anything and she dies."

 _Too late_ , I thought. _Too late. He really doesn't realize…_

My world went black.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Roses eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp at the exact moment Christian set the Strigoi on fire. The combined shock of the sudden dead weight in his arms and the fire wreathing his head made him drop her. Janine and Dimitri moved as one. Dimitri lunged for Rose and caught her just before she made contact with the ground. Janine flung herself at the Strigoi and impacted with him, stake first.

The shrieks stopped almost immediately but Dimitri was no longer paying attention.

He leaned down and brought his ear to Rose's chest. He could hear the ragged _whoosh_ of breath being drawn and the reassuring—though alarmingly erratic— _thump thump_ of her heart beating.

Relief washed over him as he realized that he had Rose back in his arms at last. The past few minutes had been tense and he'd seen in her eyes that she hadn't thought she was getting out of it. Dimitri hadn't seen a good way out either.

"We need to go," Janine said sharply, standing at his shoulder. "She needs medical attention and the fire in the hallway is getting worse."

Dimitri nodded. He quickly shrugged his duster off and draped it over Rose. It was torn and singed in a few spots but it proved her much more protection than the torn remains of her uniform did. Not only did he want her safe but also most of the guardians in the building still didn't know about her pregnancy.

That was something Dimitri wanted to marvel in himself, but he had to wait until they were out of here.

He turned his attention to the chain around her ankle. That had to be dealt with before she could be moved.

"Search the bodies for a key," Dimitri said to the people around him. "One of them has to have it."

After they'd left the burning hallway they'd come into contact with another half dozen Strigoi. They'd been guarding Rose's prison. Odds were one of them had a key.

The others complied and Eddie finally came up with a key ring that held several keys. The fourth one they tried unlocked the chain on her ankle, exposing the raw ligature mark below.

"Keep the others," Dimitri informed him. "One may unlock the cuffs. We'll try in the car."

He swiftly hoisted Rose up into his arms and they were moving again. Reports came through the earpiece that the top level had been cleared. Hans reported back on their success. Their team moved quickly through the smoke filled hallway and up the stairs. The upper level was just as messy as the lower levels, bodies—not just Strigoi—littered the floors. Dimitri didn't remember the entire trip, just that they quickly made it back to the SUV. It didn't take long before they were speeding back towards Court and the doctors and spirit users that could provide Roza with the help she so clearly needed.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Janine Hathaway wasn't one for flashy shows and attention grabbing stunts like her daughter or past lover but that didn't stop her from jumping the curb of the parking lot and driving the SUV right up to the doorstep of the infirmary. Given it was daylight outside most Moroi were settling down for the night, but they still attracted a fair amount of attention.

Dimitri could have cared less. Rose's breathing had become increasingly erratic throughout the drive and he was just as eager as Janine to get her hooked up to monitors and fixed up.

Lissa—who had been called almost immediately following Rose's rescue—was standing at the top of the steps, waiting anxiously. Dimitri swept past her as he exited the vehicle, Rose held securely against his chest. They'd found the key to her handcuffs during the journey and he now draped one badly damaged arm over his shoulders to keep her propped up. The other rested listlessly over her stomach.

Lissa gasped as she caught sight of Rose in passing before quickly following in Dimitri's wake.

Dimitri wasn't surprised to see the rest of the entourage that had been left at Court in the waiting room of the infirmary but again he didn't pause. He went straight for the medical bay and laid Rose's inert form on the nearest cot. A doctor and team of nurses, already prepared, rushed forward.

Dimitri was pushed away from the bed as the doctor called out orders for things like 'a saline drip' and 'CT scan' and 'fetal monitor'.

Dimitri felt his heart clench at the commands and he looked at Lissa.

"Can't you just heal her?" he demanded.

"I think we need to know what's wrong first," she said unhappily, standing on tiptoes to catch glimpses of Rose through the medical team. "Adrian mentioned a concussion. Brain trauma is tricky to heal. I can do it but I need to know what I'm dealing with."

"What about the rest of it?" he asked, gesturing to the rest of Rose. Not one inch of her seemed unscathed, from bruising around her throat to the angry red wounds around her ankle and wrists. He was almost positive she had broken bones in her wrists and who knew what else from the accident a few weeks back. He voiced his worries to Lissa.

She nodded.

"If she broke anything in the accident and its already started healing wrong I can't risk speeding that up. We need to know if anything needs to be fixed before I heal her. I know its hard—believe me I want to heal her so badly it hurts—but I will. We just need to know what we're dealing with first."

"She's right," Sonya said, appearing at Dimitri's side, watching the rush of activity before her. "We have her back now. She's survived this long, she can wait a little longer—just until we know what we're dealing with."

"And then I'll take care of it," Lissa said with conviction.

"Then _we'll_ take care of it," Sonya corrected, motioning to Adrian who hovered behind her. "It'll take the three of us."

"Dimitri stopped listening to their planning about what to tackle first and the best way to approach everything. They'd just hooked Rose up to a multitude of machines, one of which was a band around her exposed and slightly swollen mid-section. Dimitri followed the cords to where they attached to a machine. Rhythmic waves showed on the screen, faster than an adults but definitely the rhythm of a heartbeat. He'd been to some of Karolina's scans during her pregnancy with Paul. He recognized a fetal heart rate.

The vice around his heart loosened minutely as he saw the first concrete signs that his child was okay.

Rose was a different matter.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

 **Authors Note: If you have not been alerted to a chapter update since 4/29/17 then please don't read ahead yet. Apparently over the past week+ I have updated consistently and an error has occurred where email alerts were not sent out and the story was not updated on the main FanFiction website. If this is the case for you please go back 2 or 3 chapters to make sure you are up to date. Also, if you received an alert for chapter 23 and the link didn't work that is because I posted a test chapter while troubleshooting the issue and, once it was resolved, I deleted that chapter. It wasn't a real update. I'm sorry for the inconvenience and I appreciate all of you who informed me of this issue. I hope none of you were worried I wasn't continuing with this story. I promise, I won't go more than a week without updating.**

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23

"…bespokoyus' o tebe," said the voice quietly. It took a minute for me to realize the words were in Russian. It took a few moments more for me to realize I knew what they meant.

 _Worried about you._

I wanted to respond but I couldn't get my body to move. My mind was as sluggish with my actions as they were with my earlier translation but I was alert enough to recognize Dimitri's voice. He was still talking, his voice quiet, almost a whisper as he carried on his one sided conversation.

"…tak napugan." _So scared._

He didn't have to worry, I wanted to tell him. I was okay now, everything would be okay. I wasn't sure exactly _how_ I was okay though. In those last moments when I'd been in the Strigoi's arms I'd truly thought I was done for. There had been no plausible way of getting out of that room without someone—most likely me—being killed. So how was I here? How was I laying on what felt like a bed with my arms free for the first time in weeks with Dimitri at my side?

How had they gotten me here?

"YA dumal, chto poteryal tebya, prezhde chem ya dazhe imel vozmozhnost' znat', chto vy," he said and I came to a startling realization: he wasn't talking to me at all.

 _I thought I'd lost you before I even had the chance to know you._

He was talking to the baby.

That was enough of a shock to get my eyelids to respond. I forced my eyes open a bit and was able to see my surroundings at last. It was a place I knew well: the Court infirmary. I wasn't about to complain about ruining my winning streak this time. There were machines crowding the right side of my bed, monitors and IV drips. I vaguely realized that I had tubes in my arm and wires on my chest and around my abdomen.

I didn't really care about them—save the steady beating coming from the one attached to my belly—all I cared about was the man at my side.

Dimitri was hunched over in the chair he'd pulled up beside my bed. I had a moment of déjà vu realizing that the situation resembled my last visit to the infirmary in January. He'd been waiting in that same chair then. Only now he was leaning forward, elbows resting on my bed as he whispered quietly to our child.

That was the most shocking thing of all. I'd never before heard him address our baby. He'd never had the chance. I had, quite often in my prison hell and the two weeks preceding it, but the last time Dimitri and I had been together neither of us had been aware of the change coming.

One of his hands rested on my own, draped listlessly over my own belly while his other gently stroked the swell of my belly, long graceful fingers tracing unidentifiable patterns against the blanket covering me. The ghosting touch sent shockwaves through my system; God I had missed him so much. I wanted nothing more than to clutch his hand in my own and bring him in to kiss me but I couldn't get my body to respond just yet. I was also enraptured by his conversation.

" _I was shocked when Lissa told me about you_ , _"_ he continued on, speaking in his native tongue as he often did when he got emotional. " _I didn't know how it could be true. It shouldn't be. But I saw the sonogram pictures, I saw_ you _, and I knew it had to be true. I never doubted you were mine."_ My breath hitched in my throat at that. He hadn't? How could he not have? " _I have come to know and accept so many amazing and fantastical things since your mother came into my life,_ moy rebenok _, but you,_ " he cleared his throat and continued. I was surprised to see the shine of tears on his cheek. " _But you are the most amazing thing yet._ "

I felt tears wet my own cheeks at his words. I had seen it in Dimitri's eyes before, the burning desire to have a child of his own. I'd seen it when we'd visited his family in Russia a few years back and he got to hold Sonya's daughter and I'd seen it again when Mandy was born and we'd taken the odd night babysitting for the Tanner duo. He'd always wanted a child of his own but we'd both come to accept it wasn't in our future. Now, however, listening to him talk to our miracle, it hit me again how amazing he would be at fatherhood.

I'd spent hours upon hours, days even, worrying about the future when I'd first found out I was pregnant. I'd worried about how Dimitri would handle the news, I had worried about how he'd feel about the situation and I'd worried about our capabilities as parents. I shouldn't have. Here we sat, and Dimitri knew the truth. Not only did he know but he believed that the child was his and he was _excited_ about it. He wanted it. And as long as we both wanted this in our lives we'd be good parents. We'd learn as we went and we'd do whatever it took to provide the best for our little kumquat.

" _To hear such amazing news_ ," he said, _"and then to learn that you may never get to meet your child…it could have killed me. I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't gotten you and your mother back. I'm sorry it took so long. We were searching and sometimes it felt futile, but know this,_ moye serdtse: _I will always find you."_

"We never doubted that," I whispered at last, gently squeezing the hand that covered my own. His head shot up, startled for one of the few times in his life. His eyes lit up when he saw me.

"Roza," he breathed before dazzling me with a beautiful smile. "Roza."

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine. "Don't ever worry me like that again," he begged. He brought the hand that had rested on my stomach up to my face, cupping my cheek. I leaned into his touch, reveling in the warmth and security of it. Sometimes I felt like my love for this man would overwhelm me, like I would drown in the emotions he drew out of me. But I wouldn't trade that for the world. We were both strong people, capable of fighting through life on our own, but we were stronger together. So much stronger together.

"I never doubted you'd come," I repeated, staring into the depths of his warm brown eyes. "I asked you not to," I couldn't keep the slight chastisement out of my voice at that, "but I knew you'd come."

"I will always find you," he said simply.

"Thank you," my voice cracked and then I was crying. Large, body wracking sobs tore from my chest and Dimitri reacted quickly, sliding onto the bed beside me and pulling me onto his lap, cradling me there as he made soothing noises in my ear. I couldn't stop. It wasn't that I was scared anymore or even that emotionally unstable, I was just overwhelmed. For so long I'd thought that Dimitri would get there too late and I'd—we'd—be dead. The let down from that fear was debilitating.

Dimitri held me as I wore myself out and when the cries finally dissipated he continued to hold me.

"I never thought I'd get to hold you again," he murmured into my hair.

"Maybe you should wait until I get a shower to try," I joked half heartedly, using the edge of my blanket to wipe up my tears. "I'm a mess."

In the middle of my clean surroundings, smelling the clean, crisp scent of Dimitri's aftershave it made me acutely aware of how gross I felt.

"You are not," he argued.

"I haven't showered or brushed my teeth in weeks!" I argued. "I'm covered in dirt, sweat and blood. I think that qualifies as a mess."

"We cleaned you up some," he offered. We were both trying to lighten the mood in the room with banter, trying to move past the tumult of emotions. We'd have to face them at some point—particularly we'd have to have a long sit down about the baby and truly talk about it for the first time—but for now we could just try to get back to normal.

I examined my body a bit. He was right. Someone had taken care to clean me up a bit. Though still in need of a bath someone had at least sponged me down, removing the majority of residues I'd mentioned earlier. I could still see rings of dirt under my nails and my wrists were heavily bandaged. My hair felt limp and in need of a wash but overall I was in considerably better condition than I'd become accustomed to of late.

"Lissa healed me," I said. It wasn't a question. I knew she had, I'd woken up with none of the pain and fuzzy headedness that I'd been experiencing lately but still, the idea of her using so much magic worried me. "Is she okay?"

Dimitri shifted us so that we were side by side on the bed. He kept one arm firmly wrapped around my shoulder but this way we were better able to see each other.

"She, Sonya and Adrian split the work," he informed me. "You were pretty bad off and it was easier to assign jobs." He tensed up at the mention of my condition and I laid a hand on his.

"Easy comrade," I soothed. "I'm better now. Well," I considered the bandages on my wrist again, "mostly."

He touched one of the bandages, knowing what I was thinking of. "Four cracked ribs, multiple cracked bones in both wrists, severe damage to surrounding muscles and ligaments, a small brain bleed and bruises covering eighty percent of your body." As he listed each thing off his voice grew harder and harder. "You were tortured," he said succinctly.

I shrugged, wincing at some stiffness in my side. "That was kind of Marlen's point."

Dimitri growled. "When I get my hands on him he'll wish he'd died in that fire place."

I shivered at his tone. "I take it he wasn't back by the time you got there?"

"No."

"He'll be back," I warned. "He has a serious grudge against us and he's going to exploit that to get to Lissa. And whoever he's working with," I shuddered. "Well, they really want Lissa gone too."

That brought Dimitri back down some. "Did he mention much about who he was working with?"

I thought back to my time with Marlen. I'd tried to memorize every bit of information he'd given. I nodded. "Some. Not much but it's a start. Can we get everyone here? They should hear this too."

* * *

"Rose!" Lissa beamed at me as she came forward and hugged me. I'd propped myself up into a sitting position on the infirmary bed but the fact that I still felt pretty crappy kept me detained in the bed. The doctor had come by to examine me while Dimitri assembled our friends and had cleared me of any life threatening injuries.

I hugged Lissa back tightly, relieved to see her. I hadn't forgotten during my imprisonment that she'd been in the accident and fight with me. I'd known she was safe because Marlen was bartering for her but that didn't mean I hadn't wanted to make sure of it with my own eyes. I was relieved to do so now.

"You overdid it," I chastised her as I took note of the dark circles under her eyes. I shifted my gaze to Sonya and Adrian who'd trouped in behind her. "You all did."

Sonya gave me a weary smile. "We rationed ourselves," she argued. "As I'm sure you've noticed you aren't one hundred percent yet."

"And I'm back on my meds already," Adrian added helpfully. Sydney, who stood at his side, certainly looked relieved at that.

"Thank you," I said, knowing that there was no point in arguing now. "Thank you all," I said to the rest of the gathering as they filled up the infirmary around me. The ward I was in was empty of other patients and I felt comfortable enough discussing everything in the privacy it provided. My mother and Abe were there, as well as Jill and Eddie, Mikhail, Christian and Hans. My team was absent but I knew Dimitri would have held off on making the crowd even larger. I'd talk to them later.

"We owe most of it to Sydney," Adrian said straight away, quick to award his wife the credit she deserved. "She found the building you were being held in."

"Only because you got the details," she protested.

"What about us?" Christian demanded. "We provided the major kickass mojo."

I grinned. "I want to hear about the combat magic stuff later," I informed him.

"Did you find out anything useful?" Hans asked gruffly. He stood with his arms crossed near the foot of my bed. We had a love-hate relationship but I could sense some relief in him now.

"That's what I wanted to tell you guys," I said. The meeting sobered up a bit as they waited for me to speak again. "Marlen was pretty strict on keeping information from me but he let some things slip. He's definitely working with someone inside Court, he told me as much."

"But who would work with a Strigoi?" my mother demanded, crossly.

"I'm not sure but whoever it was made a deal with him. I got the impression that whoever it was didn't seek Marlen out but took advantage of an opportunity. We should pull together a list of Strigoi attacks over the past year. Single out any that the Moroi survived in."

"You think that the relationship between Marlen and his informant originated with the Moroi pleading for their life?" Eddie asked.

I nodded. "It's the most reasonable answer for how _that_ relationship started."

"It's a good idea," Sydney said. "We can run that against the list we made of suspects."

I nodded. Dimitri had filled me in on their own search at Court.

"Also, whoever it was has to know a bit about spirit. I know it's not exactly under wraps anymore but the informant knew more than just the Strigoi Restoration bit. When Adrian showed up a Court they told Marlen that I couldn't be allowed to dream. Marlen started to compel me to sleep."

"That's how they avoided spirit dreams for so long," Lissa said, both impressed and disgusted. "Wrapping your mind in compulsion is as good as using any drug."

I nodded. "Which is why Adrian was able to get through to me when Marlen knocked me out instead of using compulsion."

"But why would Marlen have agreed to help this Moroi?" Mikhail queried. "I know that he has a grudge against you and Dimitri but there has to be easier ways to act on that then this elaborate scheme."

"Because he hates Lissa, too. He hates me and Dimitri because of what we did to him," I explained to them. "But he hates Lissa for what she can do. The Restorations," I informed her shocked figure. Christian wrapped a protective arm around her waist. "You've rocked the Strigoi community with your ability. Marlen believes that nobody—no inferior being—should have that power of Strigoi. He wants to put an end to Restorations and he thinks that by killing Lissa it will sweep the ability under the rug. If they can take out the queen of the Moroi than no other spirit users will risk trying."

There was a shocked silence for a moment before Abe spoke.

"So whoever is working with Marlen used his fear of Lissa's abilities to their advantage."

"Yes," I nodded.

"But what motivation do they have for killing Lissa?" he asked.

I was at a loss to that question. "I'm not sure," I admitted. "What motivation do any Moroi dissidents have? Her liberal views? Traditionalists wanting to keep to the old ways? Bigots against dhampir rights?" I shrugged. "He didn't say."

"So we don't know much about the traitor at Court except for the fact that there is one." Hans summed up.

"Well we know one thing about them," I disclosed uncomfortably.

Everyone turned to look at me. "And that is?" Dimitri prompted.

I flushed slightly. "They didn't want me hurt."

They stared nonplussed. "What?" Jill demanded. "What part of this entire ordeal says that?" she gestured to my battered body as 'Exhibit A'.

I sighed. "Marlen had a deal with the traitor. Before he found out about the baby, he wasn't going to hurt me if he could help it. His partner wanted me safe and was too useful for Marlen to risk angering. His plan was, when you refused to trade me for Lissa, to ask for Dimitri. He was going to kill you," I said to Dimitri, the words catching in my throat. I remembered Marlens taunting words to me. He'd revealed his intentions in one of his subsequent visits after his partner said they wanted me alive. "He was going to get back at the two of us because he knew I'd fall apart if you died. And he was betting that without me there to support Lissa through spirit she'd become unstable and eventually kill herself."

"That's convoluted," Christian admitted.

"That's Marlen," Dimitri growled.

"But he changed his mind," Sydney pointed out. "He threatened to awaken you."

"And he would have," I nodded in agreement. "He found out about the baby." My hand drifted to my blanket-covered abdomen as I spoke. I saw more than one set of eyes flicker to follow the movement. "He realized he had a bigger bargaining chip than he originally thought. His main priority was getting rid of Lissa. He figured he'd be able to get back at us another time. He thought he had a fifty-fifty chance of you trading Lissa if it meant getting to study the baby and figure out how to apply whatever this is to other dhampirs."

"And if we didn't trade?" Hans asked.

"Then he'd turn me," I shivered at the thought. "He'd get what information he needed about getting to Lissa and how spirit worked, and then he'd kill me."

"I wonder how his partner felt about that change of plans," Sonya mused.

I shrugged. "I never found out. I don't know if that person will still help Marlen after this or if they even knew Marlen was willing to betray them. But neither of them will stop."

"Which means we still have to figure out a way to identify this person at Court," Sydney said. "If you'll give me access to your records," she directed to Hans who nodded immediately. "Then I'll start looking into Strigoi attacks over the past few years and cross reference them against our lists." She moved closer to the bedside and reached over to give my hand a squeeze. "I'm glad you're back, Rose." She smiled at me. "We'll catch up later."

I nodded and she turned to leave, grabbing Adrian by the hand as she passed. "Come on," she said to him. "I'm going to need coffee before I get started."

They left with Hans in tow. He'd give Sydney access to what she needed and then go handle the fallout of the rescue.

"Marlen's out of backup," Abe said once they were gone. "The guardians eradicated the army at the assembly plant. It will take him time to rebuild his numbers."

"But when he does—and he will—he'll be back too. This is the third time I've escaped him," I said. "He won't let it happen again."

"So we prepare for what's coming," Jill said fiercely. Eddie smiled at his girlfriend's tenacity. "Now that Rose is back maybe the traitor will mess up. Not many people know about your return yet," she told me. "The guardians who went on the rescue mission were told to keep quiet. Maybe whoever it is will slip up when they hear the news. Hopefully we'll be there to see it." They left soon after along with Sonya and Mikhail, bidding us goodbye with promises to see us soon.

"I've asked that extra guards be posted around Court grounds," Lissa said once they were gone. "If someone here was desperate enough to work with Strigoi then they might be desperate enough to act alone. Gate security has been increased, perimeter details have been increased and you," she looked pointedly at me, "have officially been taken off of active duty."

"What?" I shrieked in objection. I sat up quickly in bed and the world started to swim around me. She and Dimitri pushed me back against my mountain of pillows. "You can't do that! Haven't you been listening at all? Someone's trying to kill you and I need to protect you!"

"Yes but that same person has motives for keeping you alive. We don't know why they told Marlen not to kill you but the fact that they cared means that we need to be cautious about their access to you. Not to mention that your body has been through enough lately and it's not good for the baby."

"I'm not gigantic yet," I said through gritted teeth. "Let me work a little while longer. While I can."

She shook her head. "You convinced me of that before and look where it got us." Her voice darkened at the reminder. "I thought I'd lost you. Both of you. And I'm not risking that again. Besides, your mom has offered to fill your place while you're on leave."

"What?" I shrieked again, glaring at my mother where she stood beside Abe. "You agree with her?"

"It's not safe for you to be working. I had a rough pregnancy with you and was on bed rest quite often. You need to be careful."

"I'm _fine_!" I assured her, annoyed that they were ganging up on me. "I need to be there to protect Lissa."

"I'm not saying you can't spend time with her," my mother said, unperturbed by my rage. "But in a friendly capacity. She needed a new guardian and we're limited on who we could trust. Ergo, I will take your place. For now."

"And I've also decided to loan the Court a few of my own personal guards," Abe said, judging that this would be the perfect moment to ruin my life even more. I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off. "Don't bother complaining. Yes, yes you're a guardian and capable of protecting yourself. I get it. And yes Dimitri will be with you quite often. But we don't know what this traitor is capable of and I'd rather have a few extra people I know we can trust hanging around and keeping an eye on things. I'd rather have you and my grandchild protected."

I blinked rapidly, processing not only the fact that he'd taken my arguments right out of my mouth but that he'd said 'grandchild'. He very rarely referred to me as 'daughter' or himself as 'father'. He also got annoyed when I called him old man. Yet he'd just admitted he was a grandfather. This baby was bringing out all sorts of surprises.

"We'll leave you to it," Abe said without further delay. "Her Majesty has the infirmary under guard so I'll introduce you to the new Court guardians once you're in better health. Until then." He came to my side and dropped a kiss on my forehead. "Glad you're okay." He and my mother disappeared, leaving me in a stunned, and still annoyed, state.

I turned back to Lissa. "But—"

"No," she said in a clipped tone. "Consider this a royal decree: Rosemarie Hathaway you are off active duty until you have had your baby and had appropriate time to recover."

I suggested something that involved her kissing my royal ass.

She laughed and stepped back from my bedside. "I've made up my mind so don't bother arguing." She grabbed Christian's hand. "We'll leave you guys alone for a while." With that they disappeared out the door and left me alone with Dimitri once more.

"I have no idea how things took such a left turn," I grumbled, arms crossed as I pouted. Dimitri laughed and slid into bed beside me once more.

"They care about you and they were worried when you were gone. Let them be protective now. It makes up for how helpless we felt."

"But you weren't helpless!" I complained. "I would be dead by now if you all hadn't all come to my rescue."

"It didn't feel like it at the time."

I sighed and shifted my position so I was lounging against his chest. His arms came around me and rested below my breasts, lightly on my belly.

"You agree with them, don't you?" I wasn't accusing him, but my tone made it clear that I already knew the answer.

His grip on me tightened. "I don't want to see you hurt again. I know you're a good guardian—one of the best—but certain situations call for certain actions. I think this is for the best. You can continue working on the puzzle from home and in the meantime we can worry about getting things ready for the baby."

"The baby," I sighed, resting my own hands on my belly. I had meant what I said to Lissa, I wasn't gigantic yet, but unless I wore baggy clothes it would be noticeable. I couldn't keep my hands off my belly though. I'd spent the past few weeks with my hands bound together, so close and able to just graze my growing stomach but unable to truly hold my child between my hands. I was taking full advantage of that now and wondering at the strange combination of smooth supple, skin and hardened muscle beneath. "How do you feel about all of this?" I asked him at last.

He took a moment to respond.

"I don't know to be honest," he said at last. "When I found out it immediately turned into saving you and making sure that we could even get you back alive. I haven't had much time to think about the future. Does that upset you?"

I shook my head.

"I understand it. I feel like all I did after first finding out was worry about the future," I told him. "I worried about what other people would think, if they would believe the truth or not and what they'd want to do about it. But I'm tired of worrying. I just want to be a family."

"I never thought it would be possible," Dimitri said. "To have a child with you. But now it is," I could hear the awe in his voice as he spoke. "And as crazy as the situation is—as many complications as it will present—I am happy. I meant what I said earlier: this child is the most amazing thing to happen to us yet."

"I love you, comrade," I sighed.

"I love you, Roza. I love both of you."


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

24

"Can I please go home now?" I demanded of the nurse who was pulling the final IV tube from my arm. I winced at the tube finally left my arm with a faint _pop_. I'd fallen asleep with Dimitri after our friends visited the night before and was eager to leave and see what they'd come up with. Also, I _really_ wanted a shower.

Dimitri himself had disappeared for a half hour while Lissa came to sit with me, returning freshly shaved and showered. He'd at least brought me a change of clothes.

"The doctor will be in to check on you soon," the nurse said patiently. She hadn't risen to any of my jibes since I'd started with her this morning.

She left and Dimitri made a noise of chastisement. "Don't be mean to her, Rose. She's doing her job."

"But her job is boring me to tears! I'm fine! I just want to go home." I sank lower into my sea of pillows, arms crossed as I gave him a defiant look. "Tell me you'd be happy to spend another night in this cramped bed. I'd much rather our bed." I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.

He gave me a stern look. "If you think I'm going to touch you tonight after all you've been through you have another thing coming. You need to heal."

I made a face at him. "We've been over this before, comrade. I'm the one with a stronger will. I bet I could come up with a few good arguments." I was pretty much just putting on a show at this point. I didn't think I had it in me to get physical with him right now. I was still aching and exhausted after the events of the past few weeks. I couldn't do more than walk to the window and back to bed without winding myself a bit. But I did want to curl up close to him in or bed and never leave again.

Dimitri didn't dignify that with an answer, instead he turned his attention to his constantly buzzing phone.

He checked the screen and then put it away. It buzzed again.

"You can answer that you know," I assured him.

He shrugged. "Its just Karolina."

I raised an eyebrow. "Since when is it _just_ your sister?"

He smiled slightly. "Since I just talked to her three hours ago."

"Oh?" I asked. "Then what does she need?"

"I talked to them a while ago, when you first were taken," he informed me. "I've been updating them throughout the process but I called them earlier when Lissa was staying with you and told them you were safe."

"Did….did you tell your family?" I asked hesitating only slightly as I gestured to the fetal monitor, the only equipment I remained attached to.

"No," he admitted. "At first I didn't want to tell them about the baby in case…."

"Yeah, in case." In case we died.

"Well," he cleared his throat. Moments like this gave me a glimpse at just how torn up he'd been during my absence. "You're back now. I just don't know how to go about telling them."

"Its not exactly something you can say over the phone," I agreed, thinking of my own reasons for not telling him sooner. He nodded and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand.

"I'll tell them. We'll tell them. But I figured we'd wait until things settled down a bit."

"If it's not a result of the million questions following _that_ particular announcement, then why is Karolina messaging you so much?" I asked as his phone chimed yet again.

"She's relaying well wishes from all of Baia. Apparently they told the entire community about your disappearance."

"Oh God," I groaned. "If its anything like when I told them about _you_ then they have a yard full of drunk mourners to inform."

"Probably," he chuckled, checking the screen. "Mark and Oksana send their best."

"That's sweet of them," I said just as the doctor came into the room.

"Hello Guardian Hathaway," she said cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I should talk to Lissa about buying new beds for the infirmary," I sassed as I shifted to alleviate some pain in my back.

"We'll see about getting you home soon. I just want to do an ultrasound first."

Dimitri and I both sat up straighter at that.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Dimitri demanded immediately, glancing at the monitor. It had shown nothing but a steady heartbeat this entire time.

"Oh no," the doctor assured us. "The baby is showing no signs of distress. But I just got your records from the women's clinic at Lehigh," she told me. "And it's been a while since your first scan. Considering the lack of prenatal vitamins and the malnourished state you were brought in in, I want to check the baby's growth."

My heart did a little flutter at the thought of seeing the baby again. Dimitri did his best to remain neutral but I saw the anticipation flash in his eyes as well.

"I just want to bring you over to the obstetrics side of the infirmary," she said. "That way we have more privacy."

The doctor knew the truth about the baby's parentage. She'd apparently signed a non-disclosure agreement that Lissa had forced on her. The nurses had no clue, however, which was why privacy was paramount.

She unhooked the remaining wires around me and waited patiently as I slowly made my way out of the room and to the indicated section of the building. Once there the doctor led me to a room nearly identical to the one I'd originally gotten my scan in; the only difference was that there were two side-by-side posters of time and weight charts for gestation, one for Moroi and one for dhampirs.

This time the scan was conducted as I'd first expected, with an external wand and cold goop on my belly.

Dimitri waited anxiously at my side, hand clutching mine as the doctor fiddled with the monitor and at last brought up a gray scale image of my womb and its current resident.

I heard Dimitri's breath hitch as the image popped up and, unlike last time, I could easily identify what I was looking at. My kumquat looked like a fully formed baby.

"Oh it's gotten so much bigger!" I said stupidly, and immediately felt like slapping my hand to my forehead in embarrassment. Of course it had, so had I.

The doctor laughed. "We see a lot of change between ten and fourteen weeks," she said in an attempt to make me feel better. "From here on out it will just be changes in size for the most part. There are a lot of anatomical changes up until this point."

"Anatomical," I said. "Can you tell the sex?"

"Not definitively," she said much to my disappointment. "It's early yet and any indicators are being blocked. See here?" she drew the cursor along the curve of the baby's rump. "The baby has its legs crossed."

I laughed. "So maybe next time?"

"Next time," she agreed.

I turned to Dimitri. "Do you even want to know?" I asked as the doctor started scribbling notes about measurements. "I hadn't thought to ask. Do you want to know the gender or do you want it to be a surprise?"

He thought for a minute, eyes flickering constantly over the image.

"Karolina didn't want to know ahead of time with Paul," he said at last, finally turning from the screen to look at me. "But she and Mama had a feeling it was a girl. I had to return a lot of pink baby clothes after he was born. I'd like to know ahead of time and avoid that."

I beamed. "Me too."

I turned back to the doctor, who was murmuring to herself.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. "No mutant growth rate or second set of eyes?" I was only half joking. Marlen's obsessive mentions of 'mother of a new race' had really wheedled its way into my mind and made a nuisance of itself.

She gave me a brief, understanding smile. "No. Everything seems on track. I'd say that he or she is a bit small at the moment, most likely a result of your confinement and diet over the past few weeks, but everything was normal at your first scan. Just take your prenatal's and maintain a healthy diet and we'll see much more reassuring numbers by your next visit."

I turned back to the screen, taking in the image of my baby once more. I felt tears prickle behind my eyes. This is what I'd been fighting to protect for weeks. This small baby was the result of something Dimitri and I did out of love for each other and here it was, a beautiful image on the screen. I couldn't wait to meet them in person.

The doctor printed some pictures for us and sent us on our way, informing me that I was to come back in two weeks for an exam and in a month for another scan.

Dimitri and I were free to leave after that and it was a relief to walk out into the cool spring night at last. Spending weeks locked in a cement room with nothing but stale recycled air filling your lungs is torture for someone who spends as much time outdoors as I do. I had so many things I needed to catch up on: how was the Moroi combat magic class progressing, what would I do about the classes I'd missed at Lehigh, and of course the ever pressing question of the traitor in our midst, but I voiced none of them. Instead I let Dimitri support a majority of my weight as he wrapped an arm around my waist. The infirmary was on the same side of Court as our apartment building but it still took a while to make it home. At first I had thought it would be my slow gait that caused this but in reality it ended up being because we were stopped every few minutes by someone welcoming me back.

By the time we'd evasively answered the probing questions of our fourth well-wisher I was a bit overwhelmed and definitely exhausted.

"What do people know about the kidnapping?" I asked Dimitri once I'd spent a good forty-five minutes in the shower removing all traces of my captivity from my body. I was perched in his lap on the couch and he was once again tracing patterns on my stomach.

"We didn't make any direct public announcements about it," he informed me, "but word got around. They knew about the attack on Lissa of course." Of course. I'd been informed during Lissa's stay with me this morning that both Xavier and Alan had died in the attack in Bloomsburg. I still hadn't allowed myself to process that. "And that you were missing." He launched into the details from the interrogations of anyone in the guardian building during the Pittsburgh briefing as well as the Court guardians who'd been rounded up for the rescue mission. We'd lost five guardians during my rescue.

Five guardians dead because of me.

"Too many," I whispered, tucking my head under Dimitri's chin to avoid looking at him. "That's too many. It wasn't worth it."

His hold on me tightened considerably.

"Of course it was," he said, voice hard and immovable. "It was voluntary, first of all. They knew the risk. They did it for you and they did it to strike out against Strigoi. We killed fifty-seven Strigoi, Rose. _Fifty-seven_. That's saving God only knows how many lives in the future. We've been wondering about the increase in Strigoi attacks lately. Marlen has obviously been a large contributor to that, all the Strigoi we faced were relatively new. We can only hope to see a decrease in attacks now.

"In addition to that, this was to strike back at a traitor within our walls. We're one step closer to identifying them and that is paramount. They obviously have access to the queen." I shifted nervously at the reminder. "And last, it was the first sanctioned use of Moroi combat magic."

"Is word getting around about how invaluable it is?" I demanded, sitting upright to look at him at last.

He nodded. "We only had a few Moroi with us but they're the reason we didn't lose more guardians. Christian alone is the reason we got down to you so fast. News is spreading from the guardians who worked beside them."

"And what do those guardians know about the circumstances?" I asked after letting that sink in.

"Well they didn't take time to converse with the Strigoi so they didn't hear about the pregnancy if that's what you're worried about."

"That's a big part of it," I admitted, feeling ridiculously self-centered at the admission. "We still need to figure out what we want them to know. I mean…" I hesitated, afraid my words would be taken the wrong way. " _You_ know you're the father. Anyone who really knows us can't doubt that. But people will still doubt it. We'll both be under public ridicule—not that I haven't survived that before. But if they believe that you're the father then what will they do about it? Want to study the baby in hopes of making it happen again? Hope to get rid of it to protect the guardian system?"

I felt my fear rising once more and my words took on a hysterical note. I'd been terrified in my prison, Marlen's threats clearly known. But here, at Court, I was still a prison of others opinions. Someone could still think they had a right to decide my child's future. At least with Marlen my enemy was clear. At Court it could be anyone and everyone.

Dimitri sighed. "I know," he agreed. "Its not like we can slip away and live a life of anonymity. We're too well known in our society."

"And we've been at the top of the Most Wanted List for regular humans once or twice," I added, remembering how the Alchemists had leaked our pictures to the human police back in the good old days.

He nodded. "People will know you're pregnant. If we don't say anything they will assume that it belongs to some Moroi."

I bristled at the insinuation that I'd slept around. Dimitri cut me off before I could voice my outrage.

"I'm just saying," he soothed me, "that this shouldn't even be possible. People won't automatically think that I even could be the father. Maybe…maybe we could say that we decided we wanted a family and went about it through another avenue."

I stared at him, eyes wide. He was suggesting we tell people that we'd both decided that I'd get pregnant by another man…and that we'd raise the child as a family. I could see the pain in his eyes at the suggestion. He was proud of his child. He wanted the world to know he had a child of his own.

"That's not what you want," I whispered, reaching out to stroke his cheek lovingly. His freshly shaven skin was smooth under my touch and the faint scent of his aftershave wrapped around me in a soothing embrace that was equal to that of the arms around me.

He leaned into my touch. "No," he agreed. "I want the world to know that we made a beautiful child together."

I nodded and swallowed hard, trying to dispel the lump of emotions currently lodged in my throat. "Then that settles it. We'll tell the world the truth. Damn anyone who doesn't believe us."

Dimitri nodded. "And if anyone raises a finger against them," he splayed his fingers across my belly, the span of his hand nearly covering the bump completely. "I will take care of the threat. Permanently."


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

25

*Dimitri*

"Its terrifying isn't it?" Mikhail said suddenly. Dimitri looked up from where he'd been gathering napkins and shoving them in the to-go bag, confused. Mikhail had managed to drag him away from Rose for a few minutes, even if it was to go get her éclairs from her favorite breakfast place. His mind had been consumed with a whirlwind of thoughts and he didn't understand what his friend was asking. Mikhail expanded on his question. "The idea of becoming a father."

"Oh," Dimitri said, surprised that Mikhail had managed to guess his thoughts. Not that it would have been too hard, he realized. This was all he'd been thinking about since Rose had come home safely the two days before. He moved away from the counter and out of the shop before responding. "A bit."

"Don't get me wrong," the other guardian said, easily keeping pace with Dimitri's long strides. "When Sonya told me she was pregnant I was about as happy as I've ever been. But after the initial happiness settles a bit, worry creeps in."

Dimitri veered off of their current path, electing instead to sit on a small abandoned bench to the right of the path. The foot traffic was steady and he watched passers by as he settled on the bench and formed a reply.

"Does it ever go away?" he asked at last. "The worry?" He was over the moon happy about the baby, of course. But his conversation with Rose the day before had brought back a tumult of emotions, chief among them was worry and doubt.

Mikhail shook his head. "Its hard for us. Dhampir women grow up knowing that they'll most likely have children. But us? We grow up knowing that we almost certainly _won't._ To go from that knowledge to suddenly having it not only be a possibility but a reality…well it's a shock. And then you have to worry. Not only do you have to deal with the fear of being a good father but also you wonder what you set your kid up for. To know what kind of a world I've brought Mandy into," he shrugged helplessly. "Sometimes it makes me wonder if it's the right thing to do. She'll have to deal with the stigma of her parents pasts, an unfair society where she's considered second class and of course there are the Strigoi she'll one day face."

Dimitri felt his own worries reflected in Mikhail's. They weren't dissimilar, the two of them and their situations. Both men who never thought they'd be fathers, wondering not only how the world will view their child for having a dhampir father instead of the traditional dhampir mother, but about who their parents were in particular: an ex-Strigoi, a guardian with a rough past.

"But I wouldn't trade her for the world," Mikhail continued, features softening as he thought of his daughter. "The day she was born—holding her for the first time—it was perhaps the singular best day of my life, equal maybe to the day you brought Sonya back to me. I wake up every day and see her and I can't regret anything. All those worries seem pointless, just 'what if's' that may never come true. Mandy is real and that's what counts."

Mikhail was right. It terrified Dimitri to think that he'd have a daughter who one day might face off against Strigoi bigger than her. To worry that his son would be on the front lines in the fight against evil. But…that was who they were. Dhampir's were built for those odds. He might have a daughter who was small but she would be Rose's daughter, trained and skilled and in every way her mothers equal. He might have a son who grew up to be strong like him, with a strong moral compass that almost demanded he protect others at all costs.

Ultimately it would be their choice. It was Dimitri's job as their father to provide them with everything they needed to know to make that choice on their own.

"It's daunting," he agreed at last. "Its one thing to deal with issues on your own. It's another to picture your child doing it when all you want to do is protect them. But every time I look at Rose—every time I think about the child—I am so happy. Seeing the sonogram the other day," he shook his head a small, awed smile playing on his lips as he recalled the sound of the heartbeat and the soft movements of tiny limbs. "I never imagined witnessing something so amazing."

His companion nodded in agreement.

"Children turn even the best guardians into softies," he observed.

"I don't think of it as 'soft'," Dimitri argued. "There is no job more noble than to dedicate your life to the survival of another. That's the entire premise of being a guardian. Being a parent is not so different."

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri and Mikhail parted ways outside of guardian housing, Mikhail to work and Dimitri to Rose. He was on the landing half way between the first and second floor when a figure came darting down the stairs at a breakneck pace and nearly bowled him over. He caught her arm before they both went tumbling.

"Oh! Sorry I—Guardian Belikov!" the woman exclaimed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to run into you like that. I wasn't looking." She blushed at the admission. Dimitri recognized her but couldn't pinpoint where he'd seen her before. The woman continued to speak. "But I was so glad to hear of Guardian Hathaway's safe return! Please tell her I wish her a speedy recovery."

"Thank you," he said, releasing her arm when he was at last satisfied that she wouldn't go tumbling down the last flight of stairs. "I will let her know."

The woman nodded, satisfied and started to move down the stairs. He caught sight of the back of her head and the tumble of auburn curls and he suddenly recognized her.

"Molly!" he called out. Strange that he'd only recognize her once her back was turned but he often only saw her when her head was bent over her work at the reception desk. This was the guardian that Lord Ivashkov had accosted the day of the briefing. "Hang on a minute," he asked, turning to follow her down the stairs.

She paused at the bottom, confusion evident on her face. "Yes?" she asked. She was a pretty woman somewhere between Rose and his age. Her sweet smile and green eyes made it understandable for Guardian Lang to have started an elicit office romance.

"Before the queen went to Pittsburgh there was a briefing in the guardian building," Dimitri began in a low voice.

Her eyes dimmed a bit and she sighed. "I know. I heard you had interviewed a lot of people who were there at the time. I promise you I didn't go near the conference room. I would never betray the queen!"

"I don't doubt you," he assured her; shifting their stance so they were nearer the wall as more guardians traversed the stairs. "But I heard that you had a particularly interesting conversation with Lord Nathan Ivashkov that day."

Her face soured. "I wouldn't call it interesting. Nasty more like. That guy is slimy." Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd said to him. His friendship with Adrian was well known around Court as well as a startling realization that Dimitri's Moroi father was Adrian's uncle on his dad's side. "I didn't mean to offend you—" she rushed out.

Dimitri waved the comment off, momentarily forgetting that he had the to-go bag in his hand. He should be getting back to Rose but he pressed on.

"I agree with you," he said. "But I wanted to know what business Lord Ivashkov had in the building that day."

She looked relieved to have not insulted him but her shoulders quickly tensed as she got back on topic. "It was strange," she admitted. "He was demanding I give him a list of all coming dhampir graduates."

"And why would he need that?"

"Well he said he needed another guardian," she admitted.

"He already has two."

"And I pointed that out to him. I said he could fill out a request for a change in guardians but he couldn't ask for an additional. Then he got all pretentious and started ranting about how his aunt was the last queen and he didn't deserve to be questioned about what his station deserved. That if wanted another guardian he was entitled to it."

"He wanted a third guardian?" Dimitri asked, confused. Several guardians could come together to guard a large group of Moroi but never had one individual Moroi—save the queen—had more than two guardians and even that was rare with dwindling numbers. "Why would he need that?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. He didn't give an explanation but from the sounds of it he was worried that his travels would bring him in close proximity with some Strigoi."

The wheels were turning in Dimitri's head. Could Lord Ivashkov have betrayed them? If he thought he needed more protection then maybe that was because he was afraid Marlen would turn on him. It was no secret that he resented Lissa's reign and that had only increased when she'd approved Adrian's dalliances with Sydney. Could he have hated Lissa so much that he'd be willing to send her into the arms of Strigoi?

He thanked Molly for the information and slowly made his way back up the stairs, fitting these new pieces of information into the overall puzzle he was trying to solve.

* * *

"He definitely has motive," I said as I bit into the pastry Dimitri had bought for me. He'd come back with more than the éclair though, and while the news about Adrian's father was a bit shocking at first, it wasn't outrageous. "And if he was in the building he could have overheard something, you never know."

"Whoever is working with Marlen knew about Adrian's spirit dreams," Lissa added from her seat on the couch. She'd arrived after Dimitri had left with Mikhail and was now lounging on the sofa while Dimitri sat at the table. "If Lord Ivashkov saw Adrian come in then he would know immediately what he was planning to do. And he's one of the loudest voices of discontent. It fits." I could tell that neither fact did anything to lessen the betrayal she was feeling.

"Where does that leave us?" I asked.

"Well it doesn't exactly prove he's done anything," Dimitri cautioned. "He was in the right place at the right time and he has motive but we still don't know if its him. We have to connect him to Marlen."

"But we don't know where Marlen has been," Lissa said.

"But we do know where Lord Ivashkov has been. We'll start there. Sort through his travel records, see if there's any red flags. And we'll keep a close eye on him."

"Do you think Sydney would mind digging up dirt to incriminate her father-in-law?" I asked them. Sydney had been our go-to tech geek as of late and I wouldn't trust anyone else with this information.

Dimitri laughed. "I think she and Adrian would be happy to help."

"We'll have to ask them soon, then."

"But not too soon," Lissa said, glancing at her phone as it chimed. She jumped to her feet, excitement radiating off of her. "For now we have somewhere to be."

I looked down at myself. I was wearing the last pair of jeans that fit me and my loosest top. "I'm not going across the grounds dressed like this, let alone to one of your political meetings," I warned.

"You don't have to. We're going down the hallway."

"Uh, why?" I asked, turning to Dimitri for help but he looked just as confused as I did. I'd thought Lissa had shown up to keep me company this morning. I hadn't realized she had an agenda.

Lissa went to the door and held it open expectantly. "Because we're going to see your new apartment."

* * *

My best friend was crazy. I loved her, but it was true. As I stared around the empty apartment she'd led us to I couldn't help but feel conflicted. The apartment was twice as large as the one we were in now and definitely an upgrade. It had three bedrooms—the reason Lissa had apparently procured it for us.

"You'll need a nursery," she'd said over my initial protests.

While I knew she was right and we would need the extra space I couldn't help but feel a bit sad at the thought of leaving our tiny apartment, the first real place I'd ever felt at home. It was mine and Dimitri's first place together. Hell, it was where we'd made our baby. It felt weird leaving it.

But Lissa insisted and she was very convincing. I stood inside the new apartment now, some time after Lissa's departure, and tried to see what our future would look like in this place. I could see a larger dining table set up with room for more than just the two of us. There would be a high chair pulled up between our two chairs where we would feed our son or daughter and dodge bits of carrots and whatever else my child decided to throw. There would be a bassinet by the window and I'd put our baby in it at any opportunity I could, hoping that they would get to enjoy some daylight in our otherwise dark world. I could see it all, walkers and toys sprawling everywhere, bottles drying beside the sink. I would build a home here for our family. This is where we'd bring our baby home and start again.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

26

"This feels surreal," I commented as I thumbed through the maternity clothes in a mall near Lehigh, eying the baby clothes section above the racks.

Dimitri chuckled but didn't disagree. "I never thought I'd actually need to buy anything from a store like this unless it was for someone else," he agreed.

"Technically it is for someone else," I said as I pulled a long chevron skirt from the rack and held it up to myself in the mirror. I wrinkled my nose in distaste and put it back. Why did maternity clothes have to suck so much? I was going to be as big as a whale come summer time and it would be killer with the sticky Pennsylvania heat, yet most of the clothes here were made of thicker material that would definitely not breathe. If I wasn't already stretching my wardrobe to its limit—meaning that I'd surreptitiously bought the only passible maternity shirt at Court and was wearing my jeans unbuttoned—then I wouldn't bother at all.

Dimitri passed me a shirt and I mentally applauded myself for managing to pick a man with some sense of style as I approved it and added it to the cart.

"You know what I mean," he said, endlessly patient with me. "It's exciting to look at an outfit and think that our child will wear it one day."

"Yup. To spit up on and poop through!" I may have joked about it but I really did agree with him. I longed to go search through the baby clothes more than clothes for myself. "But I refuse to buy any clothes until I know the gender. I don't want to end up like Karolina," I reminded him.

Satisfied that I had enough clothes to get me through the next stretch of time Dimitri and I moved away from the clothes and towards the other necessities that a baby would need—which I was starting to realize—was a lot. Car seats of every color, pattern and safety rating, strollers that advertised the best storage capacity or size limit. Though I was pretty certain that if our baby was a girl I wouldn't buy a bright pink car seat, I wasn't ready to pick out one of those yet either.

We ended up in the bedding section, walking among rows of cribs, mattress sheets and bumpers. We'd been moved into our new apartment for a little over a week and while the rest of the place was settled the nursery remained completely empty. We seriously needed to start filling it and though I thought that stockpiling diapers might be a good place to start I couldn't help but run a reverent hand over a particularly cute espresso colored crib.

"It's nice," I said when Dimitri came up to my side. It would hide dirty little fingerprints and it had drawers for storage underneath.

Dimitri nodded in agreement and inspected the dresser that matched it. Like everything else in life, Dimitri was serious about everything related to the baby. He studied the furniture and I could practically see the mental list of pros and cons he constructed regarding it.

"I like it," he agreed. "It might be a good place to start by putting the basic furniture in the room."

"You don't think we should wait until we know what Kumquat is?" I asked. I'd fallen into using my old nickname for the baby in the days since my return. Dimitri had found it ridiculously funny the first time I let it slip but now he joined me in avoiding gender-neutral pronouns in favor of it. It also made it somewhat possible to make comments around Court without people knowing what we were saying.

"Unless it's a pink crib like that one," Dimitri nodded in the direction of a crib that was indeed very pink, "I don't think that a crib is very gender specific. Its fine."

We ended up buying the crib and dresser. As an employee loaded the boxes into our car I felt accomplished that we'd have the first things to add to the nursery. It felt real, finally buying stuff for the baby.

We'd ended up at the mall because it was Thursday and Lissa and I had class on campus. Dimitri and I had left early since I was no longer on active duty with Lissa, to run our errand and now we rejoined our friends on campus. Lissa had managed to somehow excuse our two-week absence from our classes and after a few mind numbing days of playing catch up we were up to date and still on track to graduate in a few weeks. The longer I thought about it the happier I was about this. There was some level of satisfaction in managing to graduate from college before I had the baby. Sure I was already employed full time and wasn't going to use my degree but it was the principle of the thing. I'd get to tell my child one day that if someone who hated school as much as I did had managed to get a degree then they could do anything they damn well put their mind to.

I was antsy as Lissa and I sat in class. I was still acting as the eyes inside the classroom despite my order to stay off active duty. I knew we wouldn't see any Strigoi activity today, the days had gotten longer and we always made it back to Court with plenty of time before sunset. However, I still worried that the traitor inside Court might be working with humans too. Nothing seemed too low for them. While I knew we couldn't keep Lissa locked up inside the wards all the time (she had another big meeting coming up this summer but this time in Boston) I still felt uneasy every time she passed through them.

Hans, Dimitri and Mikhail had questioned Adrian's father about his presence at the guardian building the day of the briefing. I had watched a recording of the interview, unable to attend thanks to all three men in charge of it. They'd argued that my presence there might provoke him and nobody wanted him to lash out—unpracticed or not he _was_ a fire user—and hurt me. While I'd been offended that they thought I couldn't evade a desperate attempt at magic the interview had happened only a few days after my release from the infirmary and, while I had still been shaken up, I was able to recognize good advice when I heard it.

I was more shaken up over my kidnapping then I let on but I knew Dimitri wasn't fooled. I'd woken up on more than one occasion with nightmares, reliving Marlen's cruel taunts and cold hands on my belly as he threatened my child. I dropped a hand to my belly now, stroking it in an attempt to rid myself of the memory. A potential threat from Lord Ivashkov could have set me off and I would have reacted out of turn. They hadn't gotten anywhere during the interview in any event; Lord Ivashkov remained as tight lipped as ever, deigning it beneath himself to talk to dhampirs about his own business.

"He's definitely hiding something," Hans had confirmed afterwards. Part of me had wanted to ask him how he knew but I remembered his intuition when it came to interviewing my friends about me during my Honda-sponsored trip across the American Mid-West. He had good instincts and I was inclined to agree with him. Aside from the fact that Lord Ivashkov was _always_ hiding something his business outside of Court had increased as of late and his comings and goings were unpredictable. I also hadn't forgotten Sydney's comment about how he'd cut himself off completely from Adrian after their marriage. Maybe he was mad at Lissa for consenting to their union and sullying his family's reputation with the scandal.

Han's had also called his guardians in for interviews on their charges behaviors as of late but they'd been pretty unhelpful. With nothing further to go on he'd ordered constant surveillance on Nathan Ivashkov when he was on Court grounds. He wanted to know when he came and left his house, who he talked with, the works. I wasn't very optimistic. If he'd survived living under the nose of the public for so long as a traitor then he was definitely careful.

I was tired of worrying. I just wanted to enjoy life for once. But a quick glance to my left reminded me of another concern. The guy two seats down had been pretty obvious in his appraisal of me all semester and I'd seen him try to pluck up the courage to talk to me on more than one occasion—attempts I'd thwarted by immediately rushing Lissa from the room and joining my male companions. He was looking at me again but not in his usual appreciative way. Instead his eyes were fixed on my midsection and the curve of my belly that showed through the loose fabric of my shirt. I could see the immediate recognition of my current condition in his eyes. My pregnancy was becoming very obvious. It was actually a surprise to me that nobody at Court had noticed, or at least been vocal about it. I'd been largely absent from the gym anymore as well as my duties though I did spend a good amount of time at Lissa's and I still ran with Dimitri in the mornings. I was sixteen weeks as of the day before. At four months there was no mistaking the signs of the baby I carried; I'd even had to go up a bra size last week. I gave the guy a frank stare, letting him know I'd caught him.

With a shrug the guy turned away, no longer interested, and I returned to my worrying.

* * *

I'd decided to distract myself from my worries by focusing on what I knew I already had figured out: Dimitri. It had been two weeks since my return and while there was no doubt about how much he loved me and Kumquat he hadn't allowed us to resume our physical relationship. That, quite frankly, was killing me. I'd always loved the physical side of being with him but my sex drive was in overdrive from the pregnancy—something I hadn't realized during the early stages. I was fully aware of it now, however, and it was an itch that Dimitri was unwilling to scratch.

Unwilling might have been the wrong word; it was more like he was worried. Worried that I still wasn't fully recovered from my experience at Marlen's expense, worried that he'd hurt me or the baby. I wasn't worried one bit. I'd discussed it with my doctor during my last check up and she'd assured me that we'd be fine until much later in the game. Nearly five weeks without him was longer than we'd refrained from each other since openly exposing our relationship and I was determined to go no longer.

Dimitri had a shift on grounds after we returned from Lehigh so I decided to take the day to finish unpacking the last few things in the new apartment and prepare a romantic dinner for us. I was pretty pleased with myself that I had managed to actually plan out a meal and had every intention of cooking it myself. I dressed in one of my new shirts, the flowy red top that he'd picked out. It hid my belly fairly well and that was my goal: to distract him from reservations he might have about sex during pregnancy in lieu of our usual passion. Besides, the shirt actually used my larger bra size as an advantage.

I was in the process of folding a blanket that we'd been cuddling under on the couch the night before when someone knocked at the door.

Knowing it wasn't Lissa—she let herself in nowadays—I hurried to answer it. Sonya was supposed to stop by sometime in the next few days to give me pointers about pregnancy since she was my closest (and only) friend who'd actually experienced it. If it was her though I'd reschedule. I was much more concerned with my plans for Dimitri.

It wasn't Sonya at the door. Or at least, not the Sonya I was expecting.

I opened the door and nearly slammed it shut again when I saw Olena Belikova and her daughters standing on the other side.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

27

"Roza!" Olena exclaimed as she rushed through the doorway and swept me into a tight hug. Among my stupor at her sudden appearance I was suddenly grateful that I was holding the bulky throw blanket, otherwise she would have immediately noticed my belly.

"Olena!" I gasped once she let me go. I knew my eyes were as wide as saucers. "What are you doing here? Was I supposed to know you were coming?" I suddenly wondered if I'd been told about a visit and forgotten or if a visit had been forgotten in the craziness of the past month.

She laughed. "No, no! We've come to surprise you and Dimitri!"

"Oh it's a surprise all right. Surprises all around." Surprise indeed. Olena, mother of four and grandmother to three—soon to be four—was an expert on pregnancy and would no doubt realize my own sooner rather than later. I quickly backed up, blanket still clutched tightly to me. "Please come in! I'm so happy to see you." I _was_ happy. I missed her greatly when she wasn't around and the phone conversations were never enough. But I certainly hadn't expected her to show up on my doorstep before we could share our news with her. A beaming Karolina and Sonya traipsed in after Olena followed by two young girls and a sullen Viktoria. I was surprised to see her at the back of the group. Viktoria and I had not spoken since I'd left Baia four years ago. She was away at school when Dimitri and I had visited his family and she was always absent during phone calls. I knew through the rest of the family that she was a guardian now, and guarded a Russian Badica in St. Petersburg. I also knew she was dating very nice guardian back in Baia (though not, to my romantics heart, Nikolai). I wished the woman herself had told me all of this; I missed my connection with Viktoria terribly but I'd never gotten the chance to explain myself to her. I'd left her a letter in her room during our visit but I had no idea if she'd read it. If she had it apparently hadn't mended the bridges I'd hoped it would. She glared at me now as she moved into the apartment, stationing herself as far away from me as possible.

I shut the door and turned to look at my practically in-laws. Olena looked much the same as she had when I'd first met her, beautiful and graceful in age. Karolina, Sonya and Viktoria clearly took after her, just as beautiful in their own ways.

"Zoya, Katya," I said, crouching down to the younger girls height. "You've grown so much since I last saw you, I bet you don't even remember me!"

"We know you from pictures," Zoya, slightly taller and almost a year older than her cousin, answered for the two. "And the presents you send." I laughed and embraced them before I straightened back up.

"Where is Yeva?" I asked, noticing the missing members of the family at last. "And Paul?"

"Paul has school," Karolina said. "He could not come. And Babuska said she is too old to travel and that you must come to her next time. Oksana and Mark are checking in on her."

"Of course we will visit," I said, smiling ruefully at the mention of Dimitri's prickly grandmother before coming back to assess the current situation. "Not that I'm not happy to see you all but what on earth are you doing here?"

"We missed you two," Olena explained, busing herself by moving their luggage—a considerable amount that alerted me to their intentions on a long visit—out of the way. I placed the blanket on the couch and swiftly moved to the kitchen to offer drinks. "And after your kidnapping we just had to come see you for ourselves. I'm so sorry you went through such an ordeal!"

I brushed off the condolences, inwardly suppressing a shudder at the mention of it. "It's in the past now. But it's such a big trip to take! And so suddenly."

"It was time," Karolina said. "The queen gave us those airline vouchers a while ago. They were going to waste. Besides, you are graduating soon. We thought it would be nice to come and celebrate with you."

Graduation. As in a month long visit. Oh boy.

"You don't look so happy to see us," Viktoria observed petulantly.

I glared at her. She may be mad at me but that gave her no right to bring up the past in front of her family. I'd never said a word about what happened that day in Baia and from the confusion her family exhibited over our distance I knew she'd never brought it up either. It was best to leave it in the past now.

"Of course I'm happy. I'm just still in shock. Do you have housing arranged?" _Please_ , I pleaded to whoever was willing to listen, _don't plan on staying here_. I couldn't imagine housing the large party in our tiny, unfurnished guest room _and_ trying to reestablish a romantic relationship with Dimitri at the same time.

To my greatest relief, they assured me they had arranged to stay in guest housing and as I passed out drinks they settled down.

"You moved?" Sonya commented once they were all settled and the younger girls had a snack to accompany their drinks. "We went to your old apartment and they said you moved recently."

I nodded. We hadn't had a chance to tell them. "Lissa surprised us with it. Said it was time we had a little more room." I managed to say it in such a way that they didn't doubt it was Lissa's whim. I knew they certainly didn't have reason to suspect the truth.

"When will Dimitri be back?" Viktoria demanded. She sat at the table, still stoutly avoiding me.

"His shift should be over in an hour or so. I was just getting ready to make dinner. You'll join us?" I asked. I hadn't intended to host so many people for dinner but I had bought enough food and I knew that Olena knew how to make anything stretch into a decent meal.

She nodded at once, slipping into her well-worn position as commander of the house. "Of course. So sorry that we barged in around meal time."

I smiled at her. "I'm not sorry at all. If you guys want to go settle your things in the visitors building I'll get dinner started."

"Nonsense," Olena scoffed. "I won't leave you to do the work alone. We're all capable." She was obviously missing the fact that I needed that time alone to recover myself and prepare Dimitri. He had a habit of coming in the door and immediately saying something baby related these days. But I knew it was useless to try and keep Olena out of the kitchen.

Ten minutes later the Belikova women were bustling around the kitchen while I made a trip to my bedroom. Along the way I quietly shut the nursery door—recognizable by the fully constructed crib it now housed—and locked it from the inside, deciding to just pick the lock later verses my curious practically-nieces discovering it.

Inside my room was a bigger scramble. I tossed the bags of maternity clothes into the closet, stuffed the What To Expect When You're Expecting book that Christian had jokingly handed to Dimitri last week and a baby name book under the bed, and finally removing the two strips of ultrasound photos from the dresser and placing them in the bedside table drawer. Only when the room was sufficiently clean did I return to the kitchen, hair quickly tossed up in a bun as an excuse.

It was nice having Dimitri's family around. Now that I was over the shock of their appearance I easily fell into the gossip and story telling that accompanied the construction of a family meal. The television droned quietly in the living room as Zoya and Katya watched it and the atmosphere in the apartment was one of domestic contentment. We were pulling the last few things from the oven when the doorknob clicked and Dimitri came in.

"Roza is that _black bread_ I smell? How do you even know— _Mama?_ " Dimitri stopped short on the doormat and stared wide-eyed at the scene awaiting him.

"Dimitri!" Olena smiled warmly before rattling off a bunch of Russian too fast for me to follow. She darted from the kitchen to embrace her shocked son. Dimitri caught her by reflex, hugging her tightly as he looked at me over her shoulder.

I gave a helpless shrug and widened my eyes meaningfully in response. It was one of those looks that people in long term relationships could share and speak through without uttering a word: 'I'm as surprised as you but secret maintained'.

"When did you get here?" he demanded once they let go of each other. He moved quickly to greet his sisters and nieces as he spoke.

"About two hours ago. Rose said you would be home soon," she answered.

"Did you know—?" he asked me, trailing off as he released Katya from a hug.

"Nope." I moved out of the kitchen and to his side. I kissed his cheek swiftly. "I'm just as surprised as you are."

Dimitri's answering smile was dazzling. "I'm so happy to see you all. I've missed you."

"As we have you. But come now, dinner is done and you've had a long day of work." Dimitri and I left his family placing the meal on our new dining table while we went to our bedroom. As he swiftly began exchanging his uniform for casual wear I filled him in on the past few hours.

"It's a good thing Yeva's not here," I finished. "She would have noticed straight away. Eyes like a hawk." I ran a fond hand over my belly, easily noticeable when I pulled the fabric of my shirt taunt.

"As it is, my mother is no idiot," Dimitri said, leaning down to rest a hand over my own briefly before gathering his hair up in a ponytail at the base of his neck. "It won't take her long to notice."

I nodded in agreement before hauling myself off of the bed—an increasingly difficult endeavor—and shaking out my shirt so it once again obscured my body. "We'll have to tell them after dinner. I caught Adrianna Badica giving me a weird look yesterday. I think people are starting to guess and we don't need your family being confronted with questions in the guest quarters."

We joined his family at the dinner table and I couldn't help but marvel at the sight of Dimitri surrounded by his family. I'd only seen them in the same room together on one other occasion—when we'd visited Baia a few years ago. Time had dulled that memory and while it was easy to see the resemblance between them all over video chat it was another to see them interacting together in the same room. Mannerisms alluded to a shared childhood with his sisters and up close the Belikov genes were strong. I spent a great part of dinner getting lost in daydreams of what my child would look like. Would Kumquat share their relatives brown eyes or hair color? I knew Dimitri had mentioned on more than one occasion that he hoped the child had my hair but from what I saw around me I thought the chances were pretty slim. With our luck the child would turn out looking fully Belikov with only my personality, something I wasn't sure I was prepared for.

Dimitri lit up around his family and spoke animatedly with everyone, questioning Zoya and Katya about their friends back home, talking with Karolina about her wedding preparations (she was engaged to the dhampir she'd been dating when I'd first met her). I was included in the conversations, too. Sonya talked with me about Lehigh—she'd confided to me on more than one occasion during our phone conversations that she wouldn't mind going to college so that she could support her daughter with a real job instead of working at the local drug store in Baia—and Olena asked after Lissa and work.

It wasn't until the meal was over, the dishes done and the children asleep in our room that Dimitri and I found ourselves in the position to tell his family our news.

Karolina, Sonya and Olena crowded together on the couch while Viktoria had pulled up a chair from the table. I perched myself on the arm of the chair Dimitri sat in and wondered where to begin.

As it happened, Olena gave us the perfect opening.

"So, this Marlen," she was saying, "he wants the queen dead because of her healing?" We'd told his family of the motive behind Marlen's plot.

"Yes," I said. "You know Oksana and what she can do. You've heard about Lissa from gossip and from us," I gestured to Dimitri. "The Strigoi community was really shaken up by this new development with spirit. Restorations are bad in their minds because it takes away a Strigoi's power."

"And once its done it cannot be undone," Dimitri added. "Lee went crazy trying to change back and ended up dying in the process." I shuddered at the reminder. I was grateful I had not been there for that event though I'd heard plenty about it from Adrian and Sydney.

"How sad," she said, "that a power so amazing has to be shadowed by such a threat."

I shrugged. "Spirit has always been under scrutiny. It was hard enough getting people to believe it was real and that Lissa could heal. Every time something new happens with spirit it is met with speculation and criticism before it is accepted. And by the time that happens something new has been discovered."

"Speaking of," Dimitri said, slipping a protective hand around my waist, "Lissa has recently discovered something else she can do with spirit."

I felt my own heart begin to hammer in anticipation of what was coming. I could feel Dimitri's pulse racing where his wrist pressed against me. The Belikova's leaned forward in interest.

"And what can spirit do now?" Olena asked good naturedly. I could tell that she was prepared to be shocked by something she hadn't thought possible and I wondered if she really was prepared for this one. Dimitri and I shared a look.

 _You tell them_ , I tried to say. _They should hear it from you._

Dimitri nodded and took a deep breath.

"Mama, Rose is pregnant."

His announcement was met by stunned silence for a few seconds as the Belikova women stared at us with open-mouthed expressions of shock and disbelief. Then Viktoria exploded.

She jumped to her feet and stalked up to me in a rush of movement. "You cheated on my brother?" she all but screeched, her face inches from mine. "You lying bitch I can't believe—no, I _can_ believe you would do something like that!"

Dimitri and I both shot out of our seats at the accusation.

"I would never—" I choked out, enraged. Dimitri, too, was fuming.

"Watch your tongue, Vika," he growled. "We just got done saying that a new development with spirit has happened and you aren't even going to hear us out?" Tension lined every inch of his body and I reached out to lay a comforting hand on his arm.

"Are you listening to yourself?" Viktoria demanded of him. "Are you so whipped that you can't see you've been used? What did she tell you? 'Oh, Dimitri it's a miracle'? Bullshit. Before you jump to magical conclusions you should look at the cold hard truth. Your girlfriend is a lying whore who used you and everyone else—"

"Get out!" Dimitri roared at her. Viktoria stopped, stunned by his outburst. I was too. I knew I was seeing a bit of the infamous Dimitri Belikov anger right now. "Get out of my house until you learn to treat Rose with respect. I have chosen to spend my life with her and I wont have you stand in our house and insult her or _our_ child."

"Y-you can't be serious!" she stuttered, eyes wide. She looked to her mother and sisters who sat frozen on the couch, and then to me, anger in her eyes. "You believe her?"

"I have always trusted Rose," he said, working to calm himself now. "It's time you do the same. Now, get out until you've had time to think up a good enough apology."

Knowing that she had no other course of action, Viktoria spun on her heels and darted out of the apartment, door slamming behind her.

I suddenly felt very overwhelmed. I dropped into the chair Dimitri had vacated and buried my face in my hands.

"That didn't go well," I groaned. "I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Roza," Dimitri soothed, crouching in front of me and resting a warm hand on my shoulder. "Vika overreacted. She always has had a temper." I didn't want to bring up the other part, the bit that nobody in the room knew: that she already believed that I was a man-stealer. She'd thought that ever since the night I had Abe rescue her from the blood whore den. She'd obviously never gotten over that.

"But its what everyone thinks. I told you this would happen."

Dimitri was now trying to gently coax my hands from my face but I held steady. I didn't need him or anyone else seeing the blush that burned so brightly on my cheeks. I shouldn't be ashamed of my child. I wasn't. But I was ashamed that I'd apparently given so many people the impression that I'd sleep around behind Dimitri's back.

"So…how is it possible?" The timid voice belonged to Sonya. I looked up at last to see the remaining Belikova's—including the girls who were apparently woken up by their aunt's dramatic exit—staring at us from the couch.

I took a deep breath and explained, hoping to do a better job of convincing them than I had with Viktoria. "We didn't think it was. I was pretty far along before I even found out. I was hurt in an attack last January—I had internal injuries—and Lissa healed me. She did more than heal injuries though. We aren't quite sure how it all happened but the fact remains that I'm pregnant and Dimitri is the only person who could be the father."

"January?" Olena exclaimed eyes wide. "Then you're—" I could see her doing the math in her head.

"Four months," we said together. She looked at me with wide eyes.

"But you don't look it!" she exclaimed. Dimitri stood and then helped me to my feet. I took hold of the loose fabric at my back and pulled the material taunt over my stomach.

My audience let out exclamations of surprise.

Olena was at my side in a heartbeat, reaching out a hand to touch her newly revealed grandchild. She froze just shy of touching me.

"May I?" she asked, meeting my eyes questioningly. I nodded and she hesitated no longer.

" _Privet moy rebenok,"_ she whispered. Hello my child _._ " _Kakoy syurpriz dlya vas_." What a surprise you are _._ "Oh Roza," she sighed. "So many miracles you bring to this family." She looked up at me again and I was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She drew me into a tight hug, whispering rapidly in Russian as she bit back sobs. I looked at Dimitri, eyes wide, over the shoulder of his crying mother.

He gave me an encouraging smile. His sisters got up and went to him, speaking quietly so I couldn't hear, and I let them have their private moment.

"You don't doubt me?" I asked shyly as she pulled away. Her eyes widened.

"Why argue over how something happens when the fact remains it did?" she asked. "I will not ask how miracles work as long as they continue to bless my family. First you come and show me that my son found love before he died and then you brought him back to me. Now you have given him more than I ever could have asked from his life."

"Well, he's given me a lot too," I admitted with a watery grin.

"As any good couple should," Olena nodded firmly. She patted my belly and her eyes widened in shock once more. "But four months!" she exclaimed, looking between Dimitri and me. "How did you survive your capture? Why were you even working?"

I blushed once more.

"Well, I told you I found out late," I said slowly.

"Are you saying you didn't know when you were taken?" she demanded sternly.

"Well…no. I did. But only just!" I felt the need to protect my decisions. "I found out at ten weeks. Dimitri was out of town and I didn't want anyone asking why I was off guard duty before I could tell him and…" I trailed off and shrugged again.

Olena looked at Dimitri, shocked. "You didn't know?"

Dimitri detangled himself from his sisters and sat down once more, pulling me onto his lap. Everyone settled down for what promised to be an interesting story. And we spoke for hours. Dimitri told them about Lissa revealing the pregnancy and how it had factored into my rescue. I told them about how I'd even found out I was pregnant and then how I hid it while under Marlen's command. I got up twice during the conversation, once to get the sonogram photos and once to relieve my bladder.

By the time we'd exhausted the subject—with a fair amount of fawning over the photos—it was the middle of the Moroi night.

"No wonder Yeva suggested we come," Karolina said through a yawn. Zoya was passed out on her lap.

"Yeva?" Dimitri said. "What do you mean?"

"Well obviously we wanted to come see you guys, but we worried about leaving Yeva. She kept insisting that we had to come, though. She said it was important. She must have known."

"Of course she would," I grumbled. Maybe it was just as well that she hadn't come. I didn't think I could withstand her sharp glares and even sharper tongue tonight.

"Well we're glad you came," Dimitri said. "I'm much happier having told you in person."

"As are we, _moy mal'chik_ ," his mother agreed. "But it is time we let you both sleep. We will talk more tomorrow."

Dimitri left with them, helping to carry luggage and a sleeping Katya to the guest quarters while I went to bed, my head spinning with the day's developments but my heart full.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

28

I heard the whispers following me as I walked with Olena, Karolina, Sonya and their daughters through the gardens by the chapel. It was Sunday and they'd wanted to attend services. We'd been planning on going as an entire family but Viktoria had shown up at our apartment just before we left for services and after two days of silence she'd begged Dimitri to stay and talk with her a bit. So we'd ended up going without them.

As I heard the whispers and speculation behind me I kind of wished Dimitri had come. Over the past week or so I had caught people staring at me, scrutinizing as they started to see the changes in my body but were unsure if it was just their imagination. The further along I got, and the more defined my belly got, I saw that speculation turn into criticism. People didn't tend to make comments when Dimitri was around but I could hear them now. Whispers trailed behind me and I often caught phrases like "….she _is_ pregnant!" and "…heard Belikov was furious. That's why he isn't here today." And my favorite "…if she even knows which Moroi knocked her up?"

I grit my teeth harder with each comment and tried my best to ignore it. It wouldn't do me any good to get into fights or draw attention to myself now. We'd known people would gossip and assume the worst. When we officially came out and acknowledged my pregnancy we'd tell people the truth, whether they believed it or not. But knowing people would say the worst and hearing it were very different things. I was reminded of my days back at St. Vlads when Jesse and Ralf had spread some pretty nasty rumors about me. I'd been distraught at the gossip and slander on my name. How was this any different? If anything it was worse because I couldn't refute the physical signs of their gossip.

Karolina slipped an arm around my waist and drew me closer to her side. "Would you like me to go set them straight?" she asked quietly. Most of the time I only saw Karolina as Dimitri's sister and a mother of two. I tended to forget that she was trained as a guardian and indeed fully capable of setting people straight.

I shook my head, grateful she was even willing to. "No, let them talk. We haven't officially announced anything, though I guess its kind of obvious." I looked down at myself. I'd been forced into one of my nicer maternity outfits for services and the shirt—while holding a higher than average percentage of elastic and spandex—still clung to my body, revealing the defined bump at certain angles. "I can't get mad at people for assuming the worst when it's all they know. I just hope we can at least change a few minds when we do tell." I thought it was a pretty big indication of my own maturity that I wasn't trying to leap at people and beat the truth into their stubborn minds. The old Rose would have and it gave me a little bit of hope that maybe I was mature enough to be a mother. If anything it was definitely an indication that Dimitri's zen lessons had rubbed off on me over the years.

We continued on to the commercial section of Court where a number of eateries were located. We were planning on meeting the missing members of our group, as well as Lissa and Christian, there for a late breakfast. We were just passing through the clothing sector where the more expensive clothing stores were located when I nearly ran into someone exiting the tailor shop.

Nathan Ivashkov brought himself up a few inches short of me, surprise flickering in his eyes. He had changed over the years. After Adrian's marriage to Sydney and his divorce from his ex-wife he'd tried to shy away from public notice. I'd always thought it was because he was shamed by Adrian's actions (though I thought the reverse should be true). He was leaner now, having lost some of the paunch that accompanied rich eating and little exercise. It had been an uncommon sight on usually slender Moroi but now he looked to be in better shape. His lions mane of silver hair was also tamed in a more subdued, common style. He still put on his arrogant demeanor around others, particularly me. He'd never liked me when I dated Adrian but I wondered how he felt about me in comparison to his daughter-in-law.

He looked me up and down now in his critical way, his eyes lighting on my midsection.

"So," he drawled. "The rumors are true. You've gotten yourself with child. I always told Adrian you would stray from his bed. Guess nobody warned Belikov."

" _Excuse me_ —" Olena started, outraged. I reached out to put a restraining hand on her shoulder. His comment honestly shouldn't have startled her. She lived in a dhampir commune where those comments were never in short supply. Looking at Nathan Ivashkov now I had the startling realization that Olena was looking at her children's uncle. Did she know? To my knowledge Dimitri had never revealed his fathers true identity to his family. I wasn't about to do so now either, especially with how disgusted they all looked. Nothing ruined a persons perspective more than realizing they were related to someone they disliked. I had felt that way initially after learning the truth about Abe.

"Go spew your vile thoughts to someone who gives a damn, Lord Ivashkov." I also hadn't forgotten the very real possibility that he'd betrayed Lissa and gotten me kidnapped by Strigoi. I wasn't feeling too kindly towards him given that. I looked him up and down. He certainly looked dressed to impress, one of the few things that hadn't changed over time. "You're looking rather fancy," I said. "Off to another one of your business meetings? Have someone important to talk to?" In addition to his changing looks, Lord Ivashkov went about avoiding the limelight by taking extended trips off of Court grounds. This was one of the reasons Dimitri and Mikhail suspected him of consorting with Marlen.

"My dear dhampir," he drawled, "I only associate with important people. All the more curious that I am still speaking with you."

"Don't let me keep you then. I wouldn't want to sully your reputation." I stepped aside and gestured for him to continue past me.

He gave me one last scrutinizing look before departing.

I made a face at his retreating figure. "I never liked that man."

"Who was that, exactly?" Sonya demanded, watching him go with the rest of us. Zoya and Katya, thankfully, seemed to have followed none of the conversation.

"Lord Nathan Ivashkov," I answered as we resumed our walk. "I used to date his son Adrian. He was never happy with the idea that his son might sully the family reputation by being with a dhampir."

"He sounds like a charmer," she observed. "And you actually dated his son?"

"Adrian may be a bit eccentric but he's nothing like Nathan."

"Where is he now?" Karolina asked, curious.

"Adrian?" I asked, jauntily. "Oh, he's married to a human!"

* * *

Dimitri's frown increased as I continued on with my description of the run in with Adrian's father.

"And he knew you were pregnant?" he asked, voice lowered to avoid catching the attention of other diners in the restaurant. Our table was pretty big, accommodating his entire family—including a sulking Viktoria who had given me a curt and completely insincere "I'm sorry"—and Lissa and Christian. The two of us sat across from each other but I doubted that raising his voice enough for me to hear would allow anyone else to as well. When I nodded his frown deepened even more. "He might have heard that from Marlen."

"I don't know," I admitted, unsure. "I don't know if you've realized or not, comrade, but the cats pretty much out of the bag." I pointed to my stomach. "I heard at least half a dozen comments during services alone. As for Marlen telling him," I shrugged. "That could be true but I'm not so sure." Lord Ivashkov had said a Moroi was the father. If he had been in contact with Marlen he would have known about my compulsion induced confession. Marlen had no doubt about my child's paternity. That didn't rule Ivashkov out, though. There was too much evidence against him and he had too much motive for hating Lissa to discredit him as a threat.

"He's under surveillance at any rate," Christian supplied. "If he's making contact with Marlen he's not doing it when he's at Court."

"Why bother when he spends half of his time off grounds?" Lissa asked. "Besides, we're operating under the impression that Marlen and his contact are still working together," she continued. "From what Rose has told us and what we know, Marlen changed the plans for trading Rose without consulting his partner. They might not be working together now."

"Is that supposed to be a good thing?" Olena asked.

"Well neither of them is as much of a threat without the other as backup," Dimitri explained.

"But separate, we now have two threats instead of one," I finished.

* * *

"Widen your stance!" I called out to the young man in front of me. I came up behind him and kicked his instep gently until he spread his legs into a stronger horse stance. "What good is the strength of your punch if you knock yourself off your feet in the process?" He settled into the adjustment and continued on with the set of high blocks, mid blocks and low blocks that had been assigned. I moved on through the crowd of Moroi fighters, adjusting a stance here, the angle of someone's hips there and so on until I'd made two complete circuits. "Okay," I called at last. "Now switch," I called. "Defenders are now on offense."

The group obliged and switched tactics. I was leading the class with Mia today. Dimitri had guard duty and Christian had been pulled into a Council meeting regarding his classes. I was curious to hear what was being said in that meeting but seeing as I was off active duty I had no reason to show up and eavesdrop. Besides, Mia needed help today. I made another pass through the gym with a critical eye. The students were definitely improving with each lesson. Practices were held three times a week for them and I hadn't been to all of them. It was interesting to see the difference each time I returned. Christian had been hesitant to let me continue on instructing the class in my current condition but Dimitri and I had assured him that I'd be fine just calling out orders and demonstrating technique. Besides, a certain amount of exercise was good during pregnancy. I wasn't about to let my skills slip if I wanted to get back on active duty as soon as I could after delivering. I went to the gym several times a week and trained with weights (not my usual caliber but what the doctor had recommended) as well as ran laps.

I rested a hand on my lower back as I worked my way around the room, wincing at the strain. I was not in favor of how my body was rebelling as of late. Seventeen weeks pregnant and my back and hips killed me by the end of the day. I was not looking forward to when the baby really started gaining weight.

I corrected a few more issues I found before nodding to Mia across the room. She called the class to order.

"Okay, now I want you all to separate into your groups, water users up here, fire users to the right," she continued to order the different elemental groups into separate sides of the practice space. Once they were all in place she gave out orders. Since we were inside—it was raining steadily in the dark night outside the gym—they wouldn't be working their serious magic. We didn't want the gym destroyed. Instead they were to work on fine-tuning their skills. Something the magic teachers always stressed to the class was that it was just as important to work fine details with their magic as it was to drown a Strigoi or incinerate them. Simply opening a small hole in the ground to trip up a Strigoi would be just as valuable as an earth user commanding the ground to swallow them whole. Even more so, I thought, considering a guardian might be close to the Strigoi and get swallowed up with them. Each elemental group had props for their trade: buckets of water, pots of dirt and cinderblocks, neat little dummies with barometers inside that helped register changes in air pressure, and candles and flame retardant targets.

For the next hour they practiced honing their abilities. I'd seen a fair few of these people take down large practice dummies on the outside practice courts and nearly pass out afterwards. It was good to see the looks of concentration on their faces as they carefully gauged exactly how much energy they needed to put into a job.

I glanced around at the audience we had. As usual our group attracted a certain amount of attention from the guardians training in the gym. Many of the guardians liked to pitch in the odd comment or point out different things that would be useful in a fight with Strigoi. We had a few onlookers today who watched the goings-on with interest. One such spectator caught sight of me looking at her and glared.

Viktoria still hadn't warmed up to me over the past week. Around Dimitri and her family she was civil enough but that's about as nice as I could put it. And even though I did understand where the hostility was stemming from it didn't help my patients much. I found myself getting more and more cross as time went on. I'd be willing to talk to her, to let her yell and get out her anger so that we could move past this mess but every time I tried to approach her alone she fled.

Glancing back at my class now I saw that they were wrapping up, stowing away equipment under Mia's competent watch. I edged closer to Viktoria while she was held in place by the crowd at her back.

"You can help out if you want," I offered, hoping the proverbial olive branch might get me somewhere. There had been a look of genuine interest on her face before.

That look was gone now. She looked me over with hard eyes, gaze lingering on the baby bump visible through my tight workout shirt. I'd started the class that day by announcing in a voice that left no room for argument "Yes, I know you all have eyes. I'm pregnant. Don't ask questions, it's not your business." The wide-eyed stares hadn't stopped but they hadn't asked questions. I'd felt the lingering stares of the guardians in the room, too. Their opinion mattered more to me than the Moroi's. I had a good reputation among them and didn't want them to think that I'd succumbed to the stereotypical blood whore ways and slept around behind Dimitri's back. I'd owe them a better explanation in time, hopefully with Dimitri at my side to validate my claims.

"It doesn't look like you need help," Viktoria said coldly. "It doesn't look that difficult."

I took a few deep breaths, trying to rein in my spiking anger.

"They're learning the basics of combat," I answered when I could speak calmly. "True its not difficult for dhampirs but to Moroi who have never had any discipline it's a whole different world. It has its challenges. If you're anything like Dimitri, you'd be a good teacher."

"Oh yes because you know all about his _teaching abilities_ ," she drawled. "Tell me, where did he teach you more? On the mats or in the bed?"

"You're out of like Viktoria and you know it," I hissed, flushing red with anger more than embarrassment. I didn't need her airing dirty laundry with my colleagues all around us. They knew my past with Dimitri and accepted it. I didn't need them thinking his family was against us.

"Everyone thinks it," she said. "That pedestal you think you stand on is more of a spotlight of shame."

"You didn't think that back in Baia when you were so eager for me to stay and live with you." I was more hurt by her comments than I let on. I didn't think I was held up on a pedestal. Yes, I was aware that I was pretty famous in Moroi society but I knew that was more from the situations I'd been put in than my earning it. I was a damn good fighter but there were still others better than me.

"I was naïve back then," she said loftily. Man that was an opening for me if I'd ever heard one. I didn't rise to the occasion.

Instead I said, "I don't want to fight with you. If not for my sake then for Dimitri's, can we please settle this?"

"There is nothing to settle," she growled. "I just don't like you."

"Did you ever read my note?" I asked, desperate. "I left it in your room when we visited a few years ago. Please say you read it."

"I burned it," she said without mercy. "I didn't want your excuses."

"It was an explanation, not an excuse," I countered. I was hurt. I'd agonized over that letter for days, trying to decide what to say and how to not offend her in the process.

"Explanations are excuses. I don't have time for them. And I don't have time for _you_." The crowd behind her had dispersed and she was able to flee my presence.

"That was harsh," Mia said, coming up beside me. The rest of the class had disbanded while I was distracted. I hadn't heard her come up to me. "And that coming from someone who used to think you were a psychopathic whore."

"You mean you still don't think I am?" I asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as I wiped an errant tear from my cheek.

"No I don't," she said, seriously. "I mean, yeah you can be crazy sometimes but that has more to do with protecting the people you care about than just doing stupid things. And you're not a whore."

I wrapped an arm around her petite form and headed for the gym's exit. "That means a lot to me."

* * *

I scooted over in the bed, making room for Dimitri as he slipped in beside me. He'd spent the day with his family while Lissa and I crammed for our final exam coming up in two days. It had been absolute torture catching up on the work I'd missed during my captivity but I was proud of myself for doing it. All that I needed now was to pass the last exam and I could say that Rose Hathaway was a college graduate.

It had been a week since Viktoria and I had last spoken and she'd gone out of her way to avoid being in the same room as me. In a way I was grateful for that because I wasn't sure I could keep my calm if we were together and I didn't want Dimitri to suffer for that. The rest of his family had been nothing but kind during their stay and were always eager to impart little nuggets of parental wisdom onto us at every possible twist and turn.

I would miss them when they returned to Russia in two weeks but I also was looking forward to get back to normal—as much as was possible anyway.

Dimitri gathered me up against his side and buried his face in the curve of my neck, laying small sweet kisses along my skin.

I moaned happily as I settled in to his embrace. I missed this. We hadn't had sex since before his visit to Alder. My initial plans to amend that had been interrupted by his family's arrival and we'd been too exhausted over the past two weeks to even consider it. I was fairly receptive to the idea now, however. My hormones were raging and his kisses seemed to ignite me.

"Don't start something you're not willing to finish, comrade," I warned him huskily. He chuckled against my skin, the vibrations going a long way to further my sudden need.

"You better not tease me and fall asleep half way through," he warned. I couldn't help but flush at that. I'd been so tired lately that I'd managed to fall asleep during one of the few times we'd actually had together a few days before. It wasn't like we were in the middle of sex but the not so innocent cuddling on the couch had ended sooner than either of us had intended.

"If I do then you obviously aren't doing your job," I informed him.

He laughed and reached out to gently rub my ever-growing stomach. He loved to do that and the further along I got the more often I caught him doing it. Though I hadn't said anything to him I knew it was his way of reassuring himself that the whole situation was real and not one of his dreams. He never expressly told me that he'd dreamed of us having a family before but I'd woken up to him thrashing in his sleep over the years. I'd lean in to wake him up—he had nightmares about his time as a Strigoi and I often pulled him from them—and catch whispers. "Roza," he'd say along with things like "family" and "baby" and " _moy rebenok_ ". My child. He'd dream about his child. He'd never mentioned it and neither had I, I didn't want him feeling guilty for wanting something I couldn't give him. It was a moot point now, considering the circumstances but I knew that was where the frequent touches stemmed from. That and his male pride in seeing his child grow. I was kind of proud of that too, if I was being honest with myself. There was something sexy about seeing your body change to house your lovers' child.

He shifted to hover over me, our bodies touching only as my chest and stomach met his. He leaned down to kiss me and our mouths met in a clash of passion and long suppressed hunger. I moaned again at his touch and taste.

He moved away after only a few moments and I protested until I felt my shirt disappear and his lips continue down my body. I writhed in pleasure as he made his way down my throat, over my collarbones, pausing to place a gentle kiss on each breast before moving down further to my stomach. Here he paused a moment to stroke the swell of my belly before placing a kiss on its peak. " _Zdravstvuy, lyubov' moya_ ," he murmured. Hello my love. " _YA ne mogu dozhdat'sya vstrechi s toboy._ " I can't wait to meet you.

It was at moments like this that I was thankful I'd taken on the challenge of learning Russian. It warmed my heart to understand Dimitri when he was at his most emotional.

I wasn't the only one who reacted to Dimitri's soft words. The response was immediate and surprising.

The baby kicked.

At first I thought I imagined it but Dimitri froze as well, eyes shooting up to meet my surprised gaze.

"Was that—?" he whispered, eyes wide.

"I _think_ —" I trailed off, not wanting to be wrong. "Say something else!" I urged. "I think they like your voice."

Dimitri bent back down, an eager look on his face as he said, " _Ty slushayesh'? Tebe nravitsya moy golos?_ " I smiled. He was asking if the baby liked his voice. The answer was almost immediate and undeniable. I felt the substantial kick to my lower abdomen and saw the resulting ripple of movement across my skin. Dimitri, whose hand was placed just below that, quickly moved his hand to cover the area as he let out a torrent of Russian baby talk. I felt tears prickle in my eyes and did nothing to stop them. I'd felt the stirrings of movement for a while now but never a definitive kick.

I placed my hand beside Dimitri's and felt the kicks from both within me and outside of me as the baby gave two more kicks and was still again. Dimitri's own eyes were shining with unshed tears as he quickly grabbed hold of my face and kissed me senseless. We didn't need to say to one another how much those few kicks had meant to us. Our actions spoke for themselves.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

29

"Mrs. Ivashkov and I have been putting our considerable knowledge to the test," Abe informed the small gathering of people in Lissa's office. "Though she returned home a few weeks ago she provided us with the list of Strigoi attacks over the past year as promised. I cross-referenced those with my own list of suspects." He pushed a neatly stapled stack of papers onto the table we all gathered around.

"Is Lord Ivashkov on that list?" Hans queried, reaching for the stack.

"No," Abe answered even as Hans went looking for confirmation himself. "However, with his amount of traveling he may not have ever reported a run in with Strigoi if it resulted in a business partnership."

I scowled at that thought. Adrian's father was just the slimy type of business man to withhold information from others in order to get a leg up in the game.

"We've already looked into most of these people," Hans commented, scanning the document before passing it on to Lissa.

"Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way," my mother proposed. She sat between me and Abe, arms crossed and a thoughtful look on her face.

"How so?" Dimitri asked. He sat on my other side and leaned forward to look around me at my mother. I leaned back in my chair to help. "We know they're getting information from inside Court."

"But what if they weren't physically here themselves?" she asked.

"You mean what if someone is feeding them information?" Dimitri clarified. She nodded. "That's why we're looking into connections. Even if the person giving Marlen's partner the information isn't aware they're doing it, or what purpose the traitor has with the information, they still have a connection to Marlen's partner."

My head was beginning to hurt.

"But what if they don't have a connection at all?" It wasn't like my mom to speak in riddles, that was more mine and Abe's territory. Either she was spending too much time with the two of us or she really was puzzling it out in her head as she spoke. We waited for her to explain herself.

She looked at me. "Is it possible that Marlen's partner is in contact with someone at Court through a spirit dream?" she asked.

I was so startled by the idea that I momentarily lost balance in the chair I'd been leaning back in. Dimitri's quick reflexes saved me from tumbling backwards.

"Spirit dreams?" I demanded as my chair thunked back on all fours. "You think a spirit user is in league with Marlen? The reason he hates Lissa so much is because of it." The others at the table looked equally as confused as I was.

"Maybe they aren't the spirit user themselves."

"Viktor Dashkov," Hans supplied, catching onto my mothers train of thought. "You think he's using his brother to communicate with someone at Court." He looked intrigued. "That's not an avenue we've explored yet."

"It's not Viktor Dashkov," I said flatly. Only Dimitri, Lissa, Sonya and Jill knew the truth about Viktor's fate. I hadn't been able to tell others without dirtying Lissa's campaign for the throne.

"It fits," Hans pointed out. "This is exactly the type of thing Dashkov would do. Look at what he did to his own daughter."

"No," I said shortly. "It's not him. Victor Dashkov is a vindictive man willing to go to any length to get what he wants, true, but this wasn't him."

"And how would you know?" Hans demanded, irked at my denial.

"Let's just say Vicktor Dashkov is done playing people like a chess game," I said quietly.

Hans and my parents looked at me, eyes wide. "And you would know this because…." Hans prompted.

I gave him a very deliberate look. "Don't ask questions you aren't willing to deal with the fallout for."

We locked gazes for a few terse moments before he nodded gruffly. Viktor Dashkov's escape from Tarsarov was still a mystery to the greater Moroi community. I was willing to let it stay that way. I saw Victors death in turns of fixing my mistake in letting him out and my punishment for it. I would never be free of the guilt for taking his life but the greater Moroi population was safer for it.

"If not Dashkov then what about Doru himself?" Abe asked at last. "You say Marlen won't work with a spirit user but what if he doesn't know he is one? Doru would definitely have motive for wanting Lissa off the throne. And for getting back at you two," he nodded to Dimitri and me. "You three are the reason his brother was locked up to begin with."

I gave the idea some serious thought. Dimitri had left Robert Doru unconscious in a bush after I killed Viktor. He could be out there and be hell bent on exacting revenge on me. Certainly, the motive was there. But I would be his greatest target and Marlen had specifically said that his partner hadn't wanted me hurt. Besides, when I thought of Robert Doru I didn't see someone capable of orchestrating such an elaborate scheme.

"Its possible that a spirit user could be contacting someone in their dreams and getting information without that person knowing it wasn't a normal dream," I admitted at last. "But between the two brothers Viktor was the brains and Robert was his weapon. And without someone who knows how to use a weapon it's useless." I met my mothers eyes. "It's a really good idea but I doubt Robert Doru has the ability to think like that. I'd be surprised if he's even still alive."

"Do we even think Marlen and his accomplice will be in any condition to strike soon?" Lissa asked after a moment of silent rumination on the subject. "It's been weeks and he hasn't done anything."

"We nearly eradicated his forces," Dimitri reminded her. "He wasn't caught and I'm sure that a few others were not in the warehouse at the time but he'd still need far greater numbers than he has now in order to do anything. If we can assume that the increase in Strigoi attacks the past few years have been due to his army building then it will take him a while to recuperate."

"If he's being careful," I inserted. "He was careful all this time because he was trying to surprise us. The surprise is over now. He has his eyes set on a goal and nothing is going to stop him. He'll come back sooner rather than later." I didn't like the idea that Lissa, Dimitri and I had such big targets on our backs right now, particularly when I got less and less mobile with each passing day.

"We've already had reports of increased Strigoi activity across the state as well as New England," Lissa admitted. "There's no pattern that we can track but its safe to assume that Marlen is rebuilding."

"We'll finish ruling people off this list," Hans said at last, gesturing to the list Abe had provided him with, "and we'll keep Lord Ivashkov under heavy surveillance until we know more."

* * *

The ground rolled beneath my feet and I went crashing to the pavement, small bits of gravel and dirt grinding painfully into my bare arms and legs.

Viktor Dashkov laughed.

"Dance all you want, Rose," he taunted, "but the fact remains. You are a soulless killing machine."

This wasn't how it had happened. Viktor hadn't said that to me. He'd implied it before and said it in other ways but never like that.

He continued. "So cold. So heartless. You wield death so easily. What kind of mother will that make you? How can you cuddle a child with hands that kill?"

I screamed and launched myself off of the revolting ground and slammed into him, throwing him up against a wall.

And then I proved him right. I was a killer. And it was easy.

* * *

"Rose, Rose wake up!" Dimitri was calling out to me. The quaking ground beneath me was really just Dimitri's grip on my shoulders as he tried to shake me into awareness.

"I—" I croaked out painfully. My throat was raw.

"You were screaming," Dimitri said as he let go of me and reached for the nightstand. It was dark in our bedroom, the watery daylight provided by overcast day beyond the blackout curtains barely giving enough illumination for me to see Dimitri's hand close over something on the table top. He passed me the glass of water I kept by the bed. I downed it before trying to speak again.

"I'll never be rid of Viktor Dashkov," I rasped at last, setting the glass aside while trying to calm my racing heart.

"Viktor?" Dimitri asked, surprised. "I didn't think you'd dreamt of him in ages."

I had, actually. After I'd first killed Viktor he'd featured in many of my dreams. As time went by it happened less frequently. Still, every few months he'd pop up and taunt me, my minds way of never letting me forget. I would never lose control like that again, spirit darkness or no.

Dream Viktor was scary but once I woke up I could usually move on.

Not tonight.

His words haunted me, presenting another fear and planting it firmly at the forefront of my mind.

"He's right," I said quietly. "How can I be a good mom when I kill so easily? What kind of mom does that?" To my embarrassment I felt tears leak down my cheeks.

Dimitri cupped my face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"Roza," he said gently, "Viktor Dashkov isn't worth listening to. He wasn't in real life and now he isn't in dreams."

"It felt so real," I admitted. "And he said stuff like that when he was alive, too."

"Viktor Dashkov spewed pretty poison," he said, voice hard as he continued to stroke my face, rough callouses scratching pleasantly along the soft skin. "The only reason you dreamed of him tonight is because he was brought up in the meeting today."

"I know," I whispered, still unable to shake his words.

"Killing isn't easy," Dimitri said when he realized he wasn't getting anywhere with making me forget the dream. Instead he changed tactics to addressing it.

"What?" I asked, confused at the sudden change.

"You said you kill easily. You don't. Every kill takes something from you. It is something we do out of necessity, not want. If it were easy I would worry but its not and you know that."

I closed my eyes and let his words sink in. I'd once been eager to kill Strigoi. I remembered the day back at the academy clearly, when Dimitri introduced me to Tasha and gave me one of the biggest lessons of my life. Killing wasn't about the pleasure or the attention you got for it. It was a thankless but necessary job and nothing more. I didn't look forward to killing Strigoi anymore. I tried to avoid it when at all possible and when I couldn't, I felt sorry for the wasted lives.

I wasn't a cold-blooded killer like Viktor had accused me of.

"But I'm still a killer," I whispered.

"What?" Dimitri asked.

I sighed. "I'm a killer. Its what we do. Guardians protect people and in doing so they give more than just their service to their job, but their souls as well. We're all marked by the deeds we do."

"You're going all philosophical on me," Dimitri accused, teasingly. "That's usually my job."

I smiled briefly. "Do you think our baby will mind?" I asked suddenly, hand resting on my stomach where the baby was kicking lazily. "We are born into this life but do you think he or she will be upset that their parents are technically killers?"

Dimitri sighed. "We can only hope that they come to love us for who we are and forgive us for the unpleasant things we must do to protect them." He was right. I could listen to what Viktor or anyone else had to say and make myself out to be the worst person in the world but in the end I had to make peace with myself and what was required of me in order to keep the people I loved safe.

"Life as a dhampir isn't easy," I agreed, leaning forward to rest my head on his chest. His arms came around me, holding me close.

"No, it's not," he agreed. "But it's worth it."

* * *

"And if you look here you can see the hand tucked up behind the back," Dr. Gibson said, tracing the cursor on the screen so we could follow its path. Dimitri and I watched with rapt attention as she pointed out the different characteristics of our child. It was just the two of us at my scan again and I was determined to keep it this way for the remainder of the pregnancy. Something about the experience was just too intimate to have all of his family or even Lissa here. Dimitri squeezed my hand as he took in the image on the screen.

Dr. Gibson moved the wand on my belly around some more, pushing in on my lower stomach until I winced. I had to pee so bad at the moment I was afraid I'd have an accident right on the table. The doctor made a sound of apology before clicking things on her small command station.

"I'm impressed Rose," she said after a few moments. "You caught yourself and the baby back up to a healthy weight. All of the measurements look good. In fact, your baby is a bit on the tall side." She smiled indulgently at Dimitri whom couldn't quite hide the self-satisfied smirk of realizing his child was already starting to take after him.

"I swear to God, comrade, if I have to push a ten pound baby out of me you will never touch me again." I threatened him lightly, only half meaning what I said though I made a mental note to ask Olena exactly how big Dimitri had been when he was born.

The doctor laughed at me. "Tall doesn't mean large birth weight. You're baby is on track now for a normal weight. They weigh almost seven ounces."

"Oh well, it could be worse," I said pragmatically upon hearing this news.

Both the doctor and Dimitri rolled their eyes at my silliness.

"Your little one is being cooperative today," the doctor said near the end of the scan. "You would like to know the sex, right?"

I looked to Dimitri once more, eagerness suddenly racing through me. At his nod of agreement I quickly voiced my own.

The wand moved once more and pressed down slightly higher on my belly than it had before as the doctor made small comments to herself like "just a little higher" and then the satisfied "ah, here we are".

"Congratulations Guardian Hathaway, Guardian Belikov." She smiled widely at us. "You are having a son."

"It's a boy?" I whispered, eyes wide as I stared at the screen and the structure she was indicating to. I didn't know much about ultrasounds but I knew enough about men to understand what I was seeing. "It's a boy!" I laughed. "I _told_ Lissa she was wrong!"

I turned to look at Dimitri more witty comments on the tip of my tongue but I cut them off abruptly when I caught sight of his face. His guardian mask was down for once and the awe that took root there as he stared at the screen was breathtaking. He looked back down at me after a minute and the look of awe remained as did, I noted in surprise, the glassy beginnings of tears in his eyes.

Though he'd gotten better since we'd first met, Dimitri rarely showed such stark emotions around other people. It seized my heart up in painfully pleasant spasms to see it now, his joy almost overwhelming that of my own.

"Roza," he whispered, and the tears fell at last.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

30

"I don't want to tell anyone just yet," I whispered into the small space between mine and Dimitri's bodies. We lay facing each other in our bed, both drawing lazy patterns over my stomach and our slumbering son within. Son. A boy. I had been awash with so many emotions in the doctors office earlier that day but now, as my mind processed everything and I drew strength from the man beside me, I found that I was so overwhelmingly happy. A boy. Lissa had been adamant since I'd first told her of my pregnancy that I'd have a girl. She'd spoken nonstop of anything she could, often incorporating words like 'pink' and 'dresses' and such. But I'd clung to the possibility of a boy. I was happy to be proven right.

While I was absolutely sure that I would have loved a daughter just as much as a son I was beginning to realize that I loved the idea of a mini-Dimitri in my life. I wanted to see the embodiment of the man I loved go through all of the stages of life. I hadn't known Dimitri in his earlier years but I knew with an unfounded conviction that watching our son grow up would give me a window into that previously unobtainable part of his life.

Besides, I _liked_ being the only girl for Dimitri to love in our small family. He loved his sisters and mother and grandmother but that was a different kind of love. We were a family now, the two of us and our baby, and I was somewhat pleased that I'd remain the only girl in it. From here on out it would just be me and my men.

And I couldn't wait.

"Tell them what?" Dimitri asked quietly, voice rumbling with the pleasant roughness of impending sleep.

"That its a boy," I admitted. "I want this to be just ours, for a little longer."

He yawned and nodded in agreement, his fingers never stumbling in their soothing pattern. He was a much lulling the baby inside me to sleep with that pattern as he was himself. His soothing pattern was working its magic on me too, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, thoughts spilling unimpeded from my sleepy lips.

"No more Kumquat," I sighed, snuggling deeper into my nest of pillows. "No more 'it' or 'they' or 'he or she'. It's 'him'. It always has been him. Amazing, perfect, beautiful," I yawned widely and whispered the last, "he's our son."

* * *

Lissa and I graduated from college two days after my doctor's appointment. The commencement ceremony was in the morning so Lissa managed to convince me that it was okay for us to participate in it without risking her safety. It was strange being watched instead of being the watcher as I crossed the stage to collect my diploma, rounded curve of my belly just visible through the baggy fabric of my graduation gown. I felt silly making such a big deal out of graduating when I knew I would do nothing with this degree but I still felt a small amount of pride when Dimitri presented me with a large bouquet of flowers and kissed me thoroughly in the middle of the arena.

That night, back at Court, we held a celebratory party at my apartment. Dimitri's entire family, my parents, Lissa and Christian, Sonya, Mikhail and Mandy all squeezed into the small space, laughing happily as we tried to one-up each other with embarrassing stories. Sonya and Dimitri had us all roaring with laughter when they told us about their time in Palm Springs with Adrian and Sydney. Sonya's impersonation of Adrian when he discovered she used his hair products was priceless. Lissa and Dimitri had a few embarrassing stories at my own expense, ones I happily compensated for. A few stories about when Lissa and I were fumbling our way through human society had both of us blushing. Dimitri added a few stories of his own about how he'd managed to track us down in Portland.

I felt myself getting emotional throughout the night as I realized I was surrounded by almost everyone I loved. It was a good reminder of the people who would always be there for me. Sydney and Adrian and Jill had all returned to California the week after I'd gotten home and while I missed them we'd gotten a phone call from them earlier. Sydney was particularly proud of Lissa and my accomplishment as she herself finished up her own degree. They'd promised to visit again when the baby was born.

It was also one of our last opportunities to spend time with the Belikova's. They were heading back home in a few days after their month long stay.

The night wound down from energetic, loud stories and conversations to a quieter more subdued atmosphere as the three little girls present were safely tucked away sleeping in mine and Dimitri's room. We assembled on every available surface to continue our gathering. I tucked myself snugly against Dimitri in the oversized living room chair.

"Olena?" I asked at one point, recalling a question from my ultrasound a few days prior. "Am I going to die when I have this baby? Dimitri is so damned tall I'm worried."

She laughed heartily, as did Dimitri, before pausing to think. "He was always tall. By the time he was in third grade he was often mistaken for a middle schooler."

"Oh great!" I exclaimed sarcastically. "Our kid's going to be a freak of nature."

"You already knew that was coming," Christian quipped. "Just look at its mom."

I threw a pillow at him as Olena went on.

"Yes he was tall but he wasn't a very big baby. I'm sure you'll do fine."

"What was he like as a baby?" Sonya asked curiously, leaning against her husbands knees as she reclined on the floor. "I can't picture him being anything other than a guardian."

"Well he made a good husband for all those baby dolls," I pointed out slyly, remembering a long ago conversation with Karolina and Sonya. Dimitri made a noise of chastisement and growled "I'll get you for that," in my ear.

The women laughed.

"He's always taken his job seriously," his mother agreed as she and her daughters went on to regale us with many stories of Dimitri taking on the task of 'man of the house' and caring for everyone.

"Maybe there's hope for you yet," my mother said as the last stories dwindled. "I was planning on making myself scarce around Court over the next few years if the baby was anything like you were Rose." I didn't miss the playful glint in her eye. She so rarely played around that I didn't want to ruin it. However, my own indignity got the better of me.

"I was _not_ that bad!" I argued.

My mother laughed. "You wouldn't remember, would you? You forget that for the first five years it was just you and me. I remember every tantrum and every disappearing act you ever pulled."

"You make it sound like that's all I did," I grumbled. Dimitri wound his arms around me and pulled me closer to his chest. I felt the faint rumble of laughter that shook him silently.

"We lived in Glasgow with my mother," Janine explained to the room of curious onlookers. "In an older home with plenty of bolt holes and a bit of land in the surrounding areas. Once, when Rose was three, she got mad at me—and I don't even remember why anymore—and ran off. The entire town was out looking for her. It was getting dark and there were enough Strigoi on surrounding roads that I was in a full panic. We scoured the area all night and didn't find her. I came back home at dawn and found her asleep in the old bolt hole under the pantry floor."

My cheeks burned as the others laughed. I had no recollection of that night or any other instances she followed the story up with but they did sound like something I'd do. In the end there were as many instances of my own cunning and wiliness as there were good stories about Dimitri.

"Okay so we have a fifty-fifty shot of having either an angel or a hellion," I conceded at the end. "But really, mom, its your own fault. I mean, look who you chose to have a baby with!" I gestured emphatically to Abe who did indeed have a look of pride on his face at the stories of my childhood. "You knew nothing good could come from that one."

"I beg to differ," Dimitri whispered in my ear. "Something very good came from that relationship."

"I guess it all comes down to whether it's another Rose Hathaway or another Dimitri Belikov," Lissa summed up, either not hearing Dimitri's whispered comment, or ignoring it. "I can't imagine some mix of the two. Rose already has a strange enough sense of duty. Can you imagine adding Dimitri's honor code to that?"

I could, actually. I could imagine our son with his father's looks and fierce protective nature. I could imagine him every bit the Dimitri Belikov who held me now. I could also imagine the occasional show of my temper as he reached the end of his patience and the somewhat outlandish plans that he'd come up with.

Dimitri leaned forward and whispered to me once more. "Should we tell them?" he asked.

He'd kept true to my request the night of the ultrasound and nobody knew we'd found out the baby's gender yet. It had been fun the past few days, keeping the secret to ourselves and having a few moments peace to plan on our own before everything got clouded by everyone else's opinions. But I also wanted everyone to know the truth so I didn't have to worry about slipping up and saying it.

I nodded. "You tell them," I offered.

"What are you two whispering about?" Christian asked. "Or do I not want to know?"

"Well," I said, straightening up and shifting so that everyone had a clear view of Dimitri next to me. "As it so happens, we do know if the baby will be more like its mom or dad. I had an ultrasound a few days ago."

"You know the gender?" Lissa demanded among the cacophony of similar questions. "And you didn't tell us?"

I shrugged. "We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a few days."

"Will you tell us now?" Karolina asked eagerly. The Belikova women were all perched on the edges of their seats, eager to hear if another girl would be joining the family or if a boy would even out the numbers and finally keep Paul company.

Dimitri shifted forward and rested a hand on my stomach before dazzling his family and our friends with a smile.

"It's a boy," he announced.

The news was met by exclamations of joy and congratulations and a "thank God" from Christian as Dimitri and I were pulled from our seats and into the awaiting arms of well-wishers.

Lissa was the first to pull me into a hug. "I can't believe I was wrong!" she jokingly lamented.

"I told you not to plan too far ahead," I reminded her.

Karolina was next, babbling on about how happy Paul would be to hear that he wasn't the only boy among the cousins anymore.

I made my way around the room as Sonya and Mikhail came forward and then my own parents.

"It's about time there was another man in the family," Abe said offhandedly. "Maybe I'll teach my grandson about the family business."

"You will not!" my mother and I exclaimed together. I continued on. "You try and teach him anything like that Zemy and you'll never get near him again. The only people who're going to teach my son how to break kneecaps are his parents."

Abe held his hands up in defeat but the smile on his lips was real enough.

The conversation renewed itself as Olena and Karolina, the only parents of a son in the room, gave us advice and shared more stories. Sonya and Mikhail departed at last, taking Mandy to her own bed. Sonya and Karolina went to gather their own children while Dimitri showed the rest of the group to the nursery when they asked to see it. I could hear the hum of their chatter across the apartment as I went to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

"I can't believe how you have everyone fooled," said a voice behind me. I sighed and put my glass of water onto the counter before turning to face a disgruntled Viktoria. I'd been surprised she'd even showed up tonight but she'd kept herself as distant as possible, only observing.

"I don't have anyone fooled," I said quietly, noting that she'd very efficiently cornered me in between two countertops and herself. "I'm not lying about anything."

"It's impossible," she said, pointing to my stomach accusingly. I wrapped my arms around myself as if to protect my son from her scorn. "It can't be Dimitri's."

"I really wish we could move on from such obstinate denial," I admitted. "I was as surprised as you—more so I'm willing to bet. But the fact remains that its happening. This is Dimitri's baby and your nephew."

"It is not," she denied. "I don't want to see Dimka hurt and when that baby comes out looking nothing like him he will be."

My anger was growing with each passing word. "When our son comes out looking exactly like his father, Dimitri will be thrilled." I hated this conversation. I hated the idea that we were trying to hurt each other with our words like we were back in high school. I wasn't out to prove her wrong but I would all the same. "Besides, a simple DNA test will clear up all your concerns."

"I doubt that," she assured me. I heard the conversation from the nursery move into the hallway and lowered my voice as I continued our conversation.

"Will you stop being so pig-headed?" I demanded. "Get over your grudge against me and be happy for your brother. It's not all about you, Viktoria. He has a right to be happy without you ruining things for him."

"I'm not the one who ruins things for people!" she shrieked, at the end of her own temper. The conversation down the hall cut off immediately at her remark as the others caught wind of our argument. Viktoria either didn't hear that or didn't care. She continued on. "Its _you_. You always ruin things for everyone else. You manipulate people, make them trust you and then you go behind their backs and take everything away from them!"

We weren't talking about the baby anymore and we both knew that. I saw Dimitri round the corner first but ignored him as I tried to bring the conversation down once more.

"I've told you, Viktoria, I never meant to hurt you. I did it for you!"

"And there you go again!" she snapped. "Trying to make yourself look all self righteous as if you do things for others. Are we to believe that you never do things for yourself?"

"Of course I do!" I snapped. "I'm not that different from everyone else. I do things for others and I do things for myself. But what you're talking about, I didn't do that for myself. I did that for you and I did it for Dimitri!"

"He wasn't even there!" she shouted at me. Apparently years of anger and hostility were finally coming out. I flinched. "Don't you dare go saying that you did it for him! We both know it's not true. You aren't him, you had no right."

"What the hell is going on?" Dimitri demanded, suddenly beside us, a hand on each of our shoulders as if he was afraid we'd attack at any moment. I hadn't realized until then but we were both positioning ourselves to launch at the other. I immediately relaxed my pose and backed up a step, bringing my back completely flush with the countertop.

"Don't worry, comrade," I assured him. "It's nothing."

"The hell it isn't," he snapped. I hadn't seen him this angry in a while. Not directed at me anyway. It was now, directed at me as well as Viktoria and the entire situation. He'd been curious about our attitude towards each other for years and I'd denied telling him the truth a few weeks ago. He was obviously at his limit and his next words confirmed it.

"You two are some of the most important people in my life and you can't get along. I want to know why. And don't go giving excuses again, either of you," he warned as we both opened our mouths to do just that. "I want the truth."

"Go ahead," Viktoria told me. "Tell him the truth. Tell him what you took from me. What you were really doing while he was gone."

"Don't be stupid," I snapped. "I've already told you what happened. Let it go." Viktoria was already doing enough to hurt her image in Dimitri's eyes right now. I wasn't about to drag her further through the mud by ruining Dimitri's image of his perfect little sister. How would he react if he knew she'd visited blood whore dens? That she'd dressed as she had that night in hopes of hooking up with a sleazy Moroi? Dimitri fought so hard to protect his family's reputation in the eyes of everyone he met. How would he feel to know she went slinking off to do exactly what he stood against?

I wasn't about to tell him.

"Rose," Dimitri said in a low, warning tone.

"Don't make me say it, Dimitri," I warned him quietly, not trying to hide the pleading note in my voice. "Don't."

"See!" Viktoria cried, apparently triumphant. "You don't want him to know what you did!"

"I didn't—"

"Is this about what happened in Baia?" Abe demanded, looking incredulously between me, Viktoria and the unaware Belikova's who stood beside him, watching our argument with wide, worried eyes. I hadn't noticed everyone else had re-entered the room and was looking on. My father turned his disbelieving gaze on me. "You never told them?"

"Leave off it old man," I warned him. He was the only other person who knew what really happened that night.

"No," Abe scowled, taking a step closer to us. "She's insulting you in your own home and you only helped her."

"She didn't help!" Viktoria shrieked as the argument suddenly shifted to include Abe. Of course, my old man loved being in the middle of every argument. I brought my hands up to rub my face wearily as Viktoria continued. "She ruined everything."

"She protected you," Abe argued.

"I can take care of myself."

"What's going on?" Olena demanded at last, also moving closer to the kitchen and its arguing occupants.

"Everyone shut up," I snapped, at the end of my patients. "Vika, just let it go," I warned one last time. I knew Abe wouldn't restrain himself much longer.

"No! You ruined my life and now you're ruining my brothers!" The brother in question was watching the argument like a ping pong match, incredulity and weariness written in the lines of his face.

"She didn't ruin your life," Abe said calmly. "She stopped you from ruining your own. Or do you not like being a guardian? Would you rather have been a mother at sixteen?"

" _What_?" I didn't have to look at our spectators to know that all three other Belikova women had demanded that.

Viktoria blushed.

"Shut up, Zemy," I hissed, glaring at him. "Now is not the time."

Abe raised an eyebrow. "You may be okay with her insulting you in your own home but I'm not." He turned to Belikova's. "She was about to make a rather permanent mistake with a Mr. Roland Titkova before Rose intervened. She made a deal with me: get Viktoria out of trouble and she'd leave Baia that night."

"It wasn't any of her business!" the distressed woman shrieked. She didn't look much like the composed and hard guardian that I'd come to expect over the past few weeks. Instead she looked very much as she had the night I left Baia: broken and alone.

"Someone had to look out for you," I whispered. "That's all I was doing. I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"It wasn't your job! You weren't my brother!"

"But I would have done the same thing," Dimitri growled, suddenly coming to life once again. "I would have dragged you away from that man myself." By the look on his face he'd recognized Roland's name. From what I understood the man had a pretty nasty reputation in Baia.

"He was using you, Vika," I say quietly, slumping back against the counter in defeat. I'd tried so hard to prevent this argument and now it was out in the open. I felt a mixture of relief and sadness.

"He loved me!"

"He just wanted another notch on his bedpost," Abe said harshly, never one to coddle anyone.

"Stop lying!" It wasn't so much a scream as a keening noise anymore.

"They're not lying," Sonya said quietly. Viktoria whipped around to glare at her sister for taking our side. "How could you repeat my mistake?" she whispered, holding tightly to her daughter, who was awake and staring at her aunt as if she'd never seen her before.

"You—what?" Viktoria's anger seemed to dissipate in a flash. Her shoulders slumped as she stared at her sister.

"Roland is a mastermind at manipulating women. That's what he did to me. He's Katya's father."

Viktoria, flushed from our argument up until this point, paled. "No," she breathed and that one word held the sound of her shattering beliefs.

I had told her that in the alley that night and she hadn't believed me. Watching her now, I wished it hadn't been the truth. She suddenly looked destroyed, as did the rest of the Belikova women and Dimitri. I reached out to rest a comforting hand on his forearm. He looked down at me with wide eyes.

Viktoria turned on her heel and ran out of the apartment, door slamming in her wake.

"Vika wait!" I cried, making to follow her.

"No," Sonya caught my arm as I moved past her. "Let me."

I teetered on my tip-toes, torn between pursuing her anyway and knowing that I wasn't the person she really needed to talk to right now.

"Okay," I agreed at last, planting my feet solidly on the floor. Sonya went to follow her sister, the door closed with a definitive _click_ , leaving the rest of us in stunned silence.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

31

Dimitri didn't come to bed and I didn't venture out of the room to see if he'd returned home or spent the night with his family. I hoped it was the latter because I'd rather him be spending that time mending their relationship then being mad at me in our own home.

I felt terrible about the whole thing. Maybe misguided affection wasn't the worst thing that could be revealed about someone but to Viktoria's family it was pretty big. The entire family was pretty open about everything and two big secrets, perhaps the only two within the family, had been revealed last night: Viktoria's conflict with me and the father of Sonya's daughter.

Part of me wanted to hide in my room all day but a combination of my increased appetite and a promise to Lissa drew me from the room as late morning approached.

Dimitri was on the couch in the living room, head resting in his hands.

He looked up upon my entrance.

"I didn't want to wake you," he said quietly. "I just got back."

I nodded, words sticking in my throat. We hadn't fought exactly but I was worried about what he'd have to say about the secret I'd kept.

I went and sat beside him on the couch. He reached out for me and I found myself nestled under his arm.

"How's Vika?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Confused, mostly. Hurt. Sonya talked to her and it seemed to help."

I nodded. "I'm sorry I never told you," I admitted. "It just wasn't my secret to tell."

He sighed and pulled me closer, burying his face in the top of my head.

"Thank you," Dimitri murmured into my hair.

"For what?" I asked, burying my face in his chest, relieved that he wasn't angry.

"For treating my little sister like your own when I wasn't there to protect her."

"I'll always protect her," I assured him. "I just wish she wouldn't hate me for it."

"She doesn't hate you," he said resolutely. "She's sore about it but she'll make peace with it eventually. But Roza, loving someone doesn't just mean making them happy. It means making difficult decisions in their best interest. That's what you did."

"You should have seen her that night, Dimitri," I whispered, eyes squeezed shut but seeing everything that happened that night. "She was so hurt. I think she really thought she loved him. Maybe she really did. But Roland didn't love her. What he said to me when her back was turned…she was going to be so hurt by him."

"I don't know everything that happened," Dimitri admitted as he held me tighter. "But I know that you did what you felt you must. Roland has a certain reputation in Baia. It wasn't so bad a few years ago but now everyone is aware of just what kind of man he is. I just didn't know he'd gotten to either of my sisters."

"Don't make them feel bad about it. Sonya found out the hard way and it didn't do Vika any better getting told by someone else."

"You are wise, Roza," he said, a smile hidden in his voice. "And you are full of love. You will be a wonderful mother."

* * *

We were just getting ready to head over to Lissa's when there was a timid knock on the door. Already guessing who it was Dimitri didn't hesitate to let his youngest sister into the apartment.

She looked pretty bad. I'd been through heartbreak before and I knew how rough it was. Seeing it written plainly all over Viktoria's face was hard to see.

"Dimka do you mind..?" she trailed off gesturing between her and me.

Dimitri gave me a questioning look.

"I'll meet you at Lissa's soon," I assured him. With that he left us to our privacy.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked, heading to the kitchen before she had time to respond. When I set a glass of water down at the table she took a seat at last.

"How are you?" I asked. "Dimitri didn't seem angry when he came home."

She let out a breath. "He wasn't, not for long anyway. I think he was at first, but mostly because he didn't want to believe his sixteen year old sister had acted that way. And then he wasn't too pleased with how I've been treating you."

I shrugged. "I can fight my own battles."

She watched me closely before practically blurting, "Aren't you mad at me?"

I raised both eyebrows at her. "Why would I be?"

"Because of what I said to you! How I treated you. I believed the worst of you and I…I said… _terrible_ things about the baby."

I rested a hand on my stomach at the mention of my son.

"I'm not happy with what you had to say," I admitted, "but I'm not mad. You were hurt and didn't think that you could believe me. I know what its like to be stubborn, trust me."

"But you were just trying to help me," she whispered at last. "That day in Baia and ever since…you could have told my family so many things, there are still pieces I haven't quite told them…you could have ruined me."

I was pretty shocked by that. "Why would I want to?" I demanded. "Vika, we had an argument. It happens. But you're missing the entire point of what happened that day. _I was trying to protect you._ I did that for Dimitri, yes, but also because I love you. I never want to see you hurt, by some guy or because your family thinks badly of you for a decision."

"So you really don't hate me? Because I hated you," she admitted. "I hated you for what you did and for keeping Dimitri away from us. I never stopped to think about how happy you make him. And you do. I've never seen Dimitri happier than he has been these past few weeks. I think that hurt me to see, too."

"I love him," I said simply. "We make each other happy. And when I fell in love with Dimitri it meant I loved everything about him, including his family. I went to Baia loving you for his sake but when you all welcomed me into your home I began to love you for who you were. An argument did not and never will change that. You made a mistake. It was a hard lesson to learn but I'm assuming you have." She nodded meekly at that. "Good. Then we can move past this. All I want is for Dimitri to have his family and for our son to have all of his aunts. I'm not lying about the baby, Vika. He's Dimitri's."

"I know," she whispered, tears spilling over at last. "I know he is. I'm sorry I said such horrible things."

"Just make up for it from here on out."

She sniffed and laughed.

"You know the stupid thing?" she asked. "I don't even care about Roland anymore. I haven't in years. I have Zander and I love him with all my heart. I know I was angry about everything that happened that day but if I'd slept with Roland it would have been like giving away a gift I could never give again. I'm glad I waited for Zander."

I could understand that, and it made everything worthwhile to hear her admit it.

"So are we good now?" I asked her. "Can we go back to the way things were when we first met? Because I could use a friend like that right about now."

She wiped away her tears and straightened her back, suddenly looking very much like the Viktoria I had first met in Baia years ago. "Absolutely."

* * *

"Loose!" Christian's command boomed across the outdoor practice field as his students hurried to comply. Beside me, Lissa murmured her appreciation as the Moroi unleashed their elements on the practice targets twenty yards away.

Viktoria, on my other side, made a similar sound. I'd been heading Lissa's this morning to meet up with her and Christian before this display. Having gotten side tracked with Viktoria we'd caught up with them on their way to the practice field. Lissa, as well as her Council members, were viewing this spectacle for the first time. They'd been kept informed with consistent updates from Christian, Dimitri and I but it was time they saw for themselves. After some of the Moroi had been involved in my rescue their plight had gained in popularity, people finally realizing what they were actually capable of. We were still a long way from standardizing the lessons but Christian was hoping that this demonstration would at least allow the program to start in a few more academies around the world.

The Council pressed up against the fence and watched intently as Christian and his fellow teachers took their class through their magical display. We weren't showcasing what they'd learned from the guardians today because, though it was equally as important as the magic, it was generally accepted that Moroi could learn to fight if they wanted to. Tasha had been proof of that.

As the presentation continued the noise drew in a crowd. The rest of the Belikova's showed up to watch. I couldn't quite gauge how they felt about the situation. They were pretty old school on women raising families while men fought. They'd accepted me as an anomaly but I didn't think they'd changed their views entirely. I wondered if Olena would ever decide that it was time for Viktoria to give up her job and raise a family. Viktoria had once told me that that's what she saw in her future. Had that changed now that she was a guardian and had a charge?

The demonstration went off without a hitch and I was proud of the sometimes ambitious, sometimes crotchety group of students as they did their instructors credit before their queen.

"They're doing well," the Drozdov Council representative admitted dryly as the students finished and began storing the equipment.

"Extremely well," agreed the Conte Council member, one I knew was an avid supporter of the initiative.

"Considering that a few months ago the most they could do was set a few pinwheels moving or light a candle," Lissa said, "it's a very promising sign that this initiative is worthwhile." Listening to her distant, unemotional voice one would think she was just an impartial observer. She had to be in her position as queen, to show that there were no biases and that everything must be for the best of her people, but I could see the delight in her eyes. She was proud of her peoples progress and she was doubly proud of Christian's success.

"We need a field test," Lloyd Badica grumbled. "They're good in practice but how would they stand up under fire?" I glared at the man but he didn't notice. I wondered if Fredrick Voda had spoken with his cousin since the meeting in Pittsburg or if Lissa would be needing to call in her favor soon.

"They have been field tested," Christian said. He'd been approaching the fence and had caught the last comment. "Some of these Moroi were involved in Guardian Hathaway's rescue. The proved themselves."

"Only a few," Lord Badica insisted. "Mostly the instructors."

"At some point we will have taught them everything we know. It isn't a matter of them not knowing enough. That's why they're there after all, to learn. They need time, as any guardian needs before they graduate."

I hated to admit it but Christian had gotten very good at navigating political waters over the past several years. Part of it was because of his relationship with Lissa. He couldn't very well be with the queen without learning to hold his own in her circle, but more than that it was his passion to get Moroi magic out in the world that influenced his actions. He'd taken over his aunts' old platform on the subject and approached it in a much better fashion than she had. Tasha had been very vocal, taking every opportunity to shove the need for Moroi magic down people's throats. Christian, while possessing the same fire and often ranting about the stupidity of close-minded people behind closed doors, put on a good face in public, giving facts that couldn't be refuted. He could still be a pain in the ass when we hung out as friends, but I admired the person he became in public.

Plus I still loved how Lissa went against popular expectations by keeping him around, tragic family past and all.

Lord Badica muttered something along the lines of 'believe it when I see it'.

Christian nodded. "You will," he assured the man. "In the meanwhile, we'll get nowhere unless the Council approves more programs in other academies. So, have you seen enough today to at least convince you that the lessons are working?"

* * *

It took two more days of Council arguments and testimonies from many of the instructors and students of the Moroi combat classes for the Council to approve expanding the program. They started the process of implementing classes at four more academies around the world including St. Vladimir's and St. Basils. It was a high note to end the Belikova's trip on.

"We'll miss you so much!" Olena said, squeezing me tightly. "We'll make sure to talk often. Keep us updated on everything and we'll be back once my little grandson is born."

"Mama we have to go," Sonya said gently, laying a hand on her mothers shoulder. We all stood in the Philadelphia airport, saying our goodbyes at customs. It was broad daylight outside so there was no real threat of any nasty surprises, particularly because we had only decided to escort Dimitri's family the day before. No information for our lovely little traitor to leak.

Olena pulled away from me, nodding.

"Yes dear," she agreed.

"Don't worry Mama," Dimitri said, coming up beside me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "You'll hear from us often."

It was a bittersweet goodbye and I felt myself getting a bit choked up, ridiculous since my own father had left two days ago and I hadn't cried. I was more accustomed to saying goodbye to him.

"And we'll come visit next Easter," I added. "So Yeva and Paul can meet him, too."

Viktoria wrinkled her nose. "I'm glad I'm not going back to Baia," she admitted. "I don't want to be around babushka as she gloats about knowing before us."

"You really think she knew?" I asked while Dimitri chuckled.

Viktoria nodded. "She told us we needed to come see you. We'd already made plans after the attack but she kept insisting that we needed to come see the truth for ourselves. I hate it when she's right."

"Maybe its just as well that I have until Easter before I have to deal with her," I admitted.

We launched into one last round of farewells before the Belikova women disappeared through the customs gate and Dimitri and I headed back to Court.

* * *

"Seriously, comrade, do we really need all of this?" I asked as we lugged the heavy bags full of baby items through our apartment door. Because we'd been in such a big city we'd taken the opportunity to get a good amount of baby preparations done on our way back from dropping his family off at the airport. I'd gone a bit crazy with the baby clothes, justifying to both Dimitri and myself that we'd need it. I hadn't expected to need all of the other stuff: a bassinet, a bouncer, a nursing pillow and half a dozen bottles. "I don't remember Sonya and Mikhail having all of this for Mandy."

"They did," Dimitri assured me, taking my bags from me and bringing them to the nursery. "Babies may be small but they don't stay that way for long. And they need a lot of stuff."

"Yeah, I'm not looking forward to going through the four boxes of diapers," I agreed, making a face.

Dimitri chuckled. "It's only the beginning, Roza."

While he took care of putting away the baby stuff I went to the kitchen and dropped off the mail I'd gotten from the lobby. We did get a bit of it, mostly correspondence from old friends and junk mail about baby clubs that Lissa had signed me up for. There was a small box in today's mail and it was addressed to me.

I quickly dumped all of the other uninteresting papers aside and cut open the box, pulling out the contents.

The baby outfit inside was pretty adorable. A blue onsie with the words 'I'm handsome, moms beautiful, and dad's lucky' on the front. A pair of blue pants and matching shoes were tucked inside. I pulled everything out, smiling at it.

Who had sent it? Maybe the Belikova's had slipped it in the mailbox this morning. There was no return address. In fact, there was no postage at all. It had come from inside of Court.

I unfolded the pants and found that a small envelope was tucked inside.

The smile slipped from my face as I pulled out the note inside.

 _It's a boy. I can't wait to congratulate you in person._

 _-M_

* * *

 **A/N: I know that a lot of you expressed your hatred for Viktoria throughout her spat with Rose and I wanted to at least make my view on it clear real quick. I don't hate Viktoria or think she's that much of a bitch. I always saw her as the hurt little sister who's actions were always dwarfed by her sisters. The argument between her and Rose was never really resolved in the book series so I wanted to address it here. I felt that I could not proceed with the happy news of a baby without first resolving old grudges within the family. So, here ends the tension between her and Rose. Hope you all enjoyed it!**


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

32

I was out the door and thundering down the stairs, package and its contents thrust under one arm, before I'd even processed what I was doing. I vaguely heard Dimitri call out a question when he heard the resounding slam of the front door hitting into the wall but I didn't pause to answer.

The Moroi on duty at the reception desk looked understandably startled as I slammed the box down in front of her and demanded "Who dropped this off?"

"I-I, excuse me—" she stuttered, eyes as round as quarters.

"It's a simple question!" I roared. "Who the hell dropped this box off?" I jabbed my finger at the box in accusation. "Who told you to put it in my mailbox?"

"Roza—"

"I don't know!" the Moroi gasped, cutting off Dimitri's call as he made it down the stairs and into the lobby. I was attracting the attention of everyone passing through the lobby but I couldn't find it in myself to give a damn at that moment. Anger burned in my veins like wildfire. "I only came on duty an hour ago! We don't staff the desk during daylight hours. It wasn't dropped off to me."

"Check the security footage," I commanded. "I want to know and I want to know now!"

"The system is down for maintenance this morning," the Moroi whispered, unwilling to meet my eyes. "One of the camera's was broken last week and a few others have been freezing up. We have a maintenance crew working on it now."

"Damn it!" I swore, sweeping the box off of the desk and sending it crashing into the wall to my left. Dimitri went to fetch it as I began to pace.

"They knew!" I muttered to myself as I began to run through all of the implications in my head. "They knew it was out. They probably messed with the system themselves. They have to blend in to avoid notice but with crews in here that would be easy enough. Or they could pay someone to do it for them and—"

Dimitri's hand came down on my shoulder, stopping both my pacing and my muttering. I looked up at his face and could tell by the grim look there that he'd come to the same conclusions I had about the package now in his hands. The note was clearly visible on top.

"We should call Hans," he said.

Twenty minutes later our apartment was overflowing with people. Hans had shown up with a few guardians to take our statements and begin an investigation. Only a few minutes after their arrival Lissa and Christian burst through the door, the remainder of my guardian team and mother in tow. We had yet to replace Alan and Xavier but my fathers spare guardians also made an appearance.

"How the hell could this happen?" Lissa demanded of no one in particular. She went straight to the dining table where the box and its contents were clearly laid out.

"Don't know," I said with a sigh. I was on the couch, resting heavily against Dimitri's side. I felt thoroughly beaten. We hadn't heard anything from Marlen in weeks and I'd begun to silently hope that he'd been too devastated by the guardian raid to recuperate and make an attack again soon. That note changed things.

"He knows it's a boy," Lissa whispered, reading the note. "But only the people closest to us know that!" I nodded. That was the fist thing that had caught my attention. Even Hans and my team hadn't known the baby's gender up until this moment. If anything I should have felt assured that none of them were the spy but I wasn't. I knew for a fact that none of the people who knew the baby's gender were working for Marlen—who had obviously sent the package. That meant that whoever had passed him the information had been able to get it for themselves. They'd either been unassuming enough to sneak a confession from my friends or they'd found it out for themselves through my medical records or in my apartment.

"So Marlen still has his partner," Christian agreed. "That's one question answered."

"But it only opens up a dozen more," Dimitri said. "There are no postmarks on the box. Someone inside the wards delivered this personally. They can get to us without drawing attention."

"Lord Ivashkov would draw a lot of attention wandering into guardian housing wouldn't he?" Lissa asked quietly.

"Like a peacock among turkeys," Alastair agreed.

"So does that mean it's not him?" Christian asked. "Because I can't think of anyone else."

"It might be," I said. "He could have paid someone to drop off the box."

"That's a lot of trouble to go through to send a taunting message," Hans observed.

"But focus on the message," I said. "Marlen has always had a flair for the dramatics but he doesn't make empty threats." I didn't mention the possible connection to when Dimitri sent me notes when he was a Strigoi. I didn't need to cause him grief over that and I wasn't sure if Marlen was mimicking Dimitri's own misdeeds or not at this point. "The point is, he's just assured us that he'll see us again. He's rebuilding his army, and when it's strong enough, he'll strike again."

* * *

Our apartment finally emptied out around Moroi evening time. Dimitri, who had been doing his best to act calm the entire day but had been silently fuming, stayed long enough to assure me that there was extra security in the lobby and a patrol set up around the building before hurrying out of the apartment. I knew he needed to work off his pent up rage as much as I wished I could, but I also wished he'd stay and comfort me over the situation.

I hated that I felt weak enough to need comfort but my emotions were tied up in a whirlwind inside of me and I couldn't make heads or tails of it. I was angry that Marlen was reasserting himself in our lives and threatening us and or child, scared that he might actually succeed, terrified of what damage he'd do _trying_ to succeed, and even a little bit relieved that at least the waiting game was over and we could get back to working with solid proof that someone was out to get us.

And I was worried about Dimitri.

He tried to control his anger but he wasn't perfect. I knew his own emotions were boiling and he couldn't keep a grasp on them forever. I'd have to help him with that eventually, before it got to be too much.

I tried to distract myself as I waited for him to come home. I made dinner and cleaned it up, I straightened the house and finally I went to the nursery. Dimitri had gotten half way through unpacking the bags from our earlier shopping trip. I picked up where he left off and hung up all of the clothes—somewhat less exciting and adorable now that Marlen had ruined something else for me—and placed everything else in its appropriate place. I sat leaning against the wall for a while, staring at the small crib that now held a mattress and its very first stuffed animal: a light brown teddy bear that Dimitri had insisted on buying today.

Why was something as innocent and pure as a baby under such harsh speculation? My baby had no more say in who his parents were than anyone else and yet Marlen wanted to use him for his parents and the general public wanted to ridicule me for his father. The talk had only increased since that day at church and I was often followed by a maelstrom of gossip and speculation as I made my way around Court. I'd given up completely on trying to obscure my pregnancy; it had become an impractical tactic considering my stomach was now visible even under the loosest tops.

I hadn't addressed the gossip other than to admit to some people that I was indeed pregnant. I didn't offer up answers on the father or whether it was planned between Dimitri and me or not. Both Dimitri and I had agreed we wanted to tell everyone that he was the father. That was still true. But my old hang-up over it possibly upending the guardian system kept me from saying anything yet. Dimitri acted like he understood—the hard part was that he really did understand—but I knew he was getting angry. He didn't like the negative impression it made of me and our relationship any more than he liked the insinuation that his child was a bastard.

With a sigh, and wondering how my life could have gotten so complicated, I pulled myself to my feet and left the room, pausing with a brief moment of indecision near the crib before reaching in and taking the teddy bear with me. When I finally slipped between the covers of my own bed I held the teddy bear close.

* * *

Dimitri had come home in the late hours of the night and crawled into bed beside me, pulling me close. We hadn't talked much about his disappearing act but I'd noticed the bandages on his hands the next morning. He'd gone to the gym to take out his anger in the only way he knew. It had upset me. I'd learned back at the academy that Dimitri was good at helping me rein in my emotions and I'd thought he'd learned the same about me when we were on the run and hunting down Sonya. I wished he'd thought to talk to me instead of hurting himself. I voiced none of this, afraid to disturb the fragile peace that lay between us. I knew his grudging anger was near the surface just as I knew he was questioning Marlen's motives for sending a note so similar to his own actions as a Strigoi.

The next month passed with no more leads on who had dropped off the package. People were questioned, video footage from a week before was reviewed and no answers were turned up. There was a certain amount of tension between Dimitri and me. On top of living in fear that any day something terrible would happen with Marlen and his partner, the gossip at Court had turned vicious and we were the center of ridicule. I didn't know what was said among our fellow guardians because I was largely absent from the gym these days, but I could tell by the tense set of Dimitri's shoulders when he came home at night that it wasn't only the Moroi gossip mill turning out rumors.

Lissa's birthday passed and there was a pretty big celebration at Court among her supporters. It was another time where I was unable to act as part of her guardian detail and I really didn't like it. I was getting tired of being pregnant, though I still had a little less than half my pregnancy remaining. I didn't regret the baby and I still found joy in feeling him kick, but I missed being able to preform my job and I certainly missed my body. I found that I didn't really like having the extra weight pulling down on my stomach and exhausting me in my simplest tasks.

After Lissa's birthday she and Sonya began full preparations for the arrival of James Wakefield, the young spirit user from St. Vlads. His school year was over and after he'd gone home to spend some time with his family he was now coming to live out the remainder of the summer under Lissa and Sonya's instruction. I intended to be there and help in any capacity I could. When Lissa had originally extended her offer to James at St. Vlads I'd imagined my role in his education would be restricted to my time off when I wasn't on guard duty around the Court wards or guarding Lissa herself. Now, with my sudden dramatic increase in free time, I found myself making plans to be much more involved. I had to do something. I was going absolutely stir crazy. That, combined with my already hyped up hormones, meant that I was set off pretty easily. This was unfortunate for both Dimitri and I because, my touchiness combined with his mounting frustrations, led to one of our biggest fights as a couple.

"What the hell do you mean I'm embarrassed?" I shouted at him, clutching a throw pillow from the couch tightly in one hand. I wasn't even sure how our argument had started. I'd been preparing to leave the apartment and go meet up with Lissa and James, who had arrived at Court the day before, when Dimitri had returned from his early morning shift. We'd said our customary greetings and pleasantries—all somewhat forced as they were anymore—and some offhanded comment of his about what a co-worker of ours had said had set me off into a rage. Dimitri had defended himself—justifiably in hindsight but definitely not to my raging mind—and somehow the fight had morphed into an argument about revealing our sons paternity.

"Just what I said!" He wasn't shouting like I was but the hard tone in his voice was nearly as bad as if he had been. The tone of disappointment was worst of all. I never wanted to let Dimitri down. "You are twenty-three weeks pregnant, Rose! Everyone knows! We've admitted it!" We had. Of course we had. People had known for nearly two months that I was pregnant. We— _I_ —just hadn't addressed it.

"I know that! How do you think I could have missed it?" I gestured to my swollen abdomen as if that proved my point. "Its not like I overlook this! It looks like I swallowed a fucking basketball!"

"Its not the fact that you _are_ pregnant!" he said, exasperatedly. "Its that you won't tell the truth! Why? You've given me excuse after excuse and they're no good. What else am I to assume but that you're embarrassed?"

I felt my face heating up with rage. "I'm not embarrassed of my son! How dare you even say that!"

"I didn't!" he snapped. "Not about him! But about me!"

"You?" I gasped, momentarily stunned. "Why the hell would I be embarrassed about you?"

"Because it shouldn't have happened! I think you're embarrassed about something else strange and impossible happening to you!"

I gaped at him. "Its hard to explain, yes, but I'm not embarrassed! God Dimitri, don't be so stupid! You know why I haven't explained it yet! The guardian system—"

"Yes the damn system!" he snapped, eyes blazing. "That's always the excuse but Rose, since when have you let something like the _system_ stop you from getting what you want?"

"That's not fair!" I objected, close to tears. "You care about it too!"

"I do," he agreed. "But the system has let us down before. What did we do about it then? We changed it, Rose! Maybe we have to do that again. But you have to try first."

"I am!" I shrieked. "I am trying!"

"You haven't told anyone the truth aside from those you knew would believe you in the end," he accused.

I found myself stumbling over my words at first as so many rushed to the tip of my tongue and I had to sort them out. "If you think that its been easy for me to tell even one person," I hissed, "you're dead wrong. I've worried every time that people would accuse me of cheating. That they'd think the worst of my baby and me. Its never easy."

He sighed and ran fingers through his hair in agitation. "You," he said. "Its all about you. You were worried what they would say about you. What they'd think about you. What about me?" he demanded. "What do you think they're saying of me? They either take pity on me because you cheated or they take pity because I'm stupid enough to stay with you. Do you know how many people have told me I should just kick you aside?" The question was rhetorical but I still responded, stung.

"You don't believe that, do you?" I demanded.

"Of _course_ I don't!" his voice rose slightly. "I've never doubted you. That's why this is so frustrating! I wish you would have the same faith in my judgment as I do in yours!"

"You're not showing much faith in my judgment right now! You don't see the danger I do!"

"Give and take, Rose. It's your turn to trust me first."

I had no words so instead I let out a shriek of frustration and threw the pillow at him. I wasn't sure why I threw it, exactly. He was kind of right but my mind wouldn't allow me to process that right now. He caught the pillow easily and tossed it aside.

We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, chests heaving in exertion from our fight. We'd never spoken to each other like this before.

"Your son," he said at last.

"I—what?" I asked, blinking rapidly and trying to process if I'd missed him say something. I didn't think I had.

The spark of anger in his eyes had died out, sadness replacing it.

"You keep calling him 'my son'. Never 'our son'. He is a part of both of us, Roza. We both get to make decisions about him."

He'd left me there, mouth hanging open, as he absconded through the front door once more, letting it slam shut behind him with a sense of finality.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

33

After my argument with Dimitri I decided not to see Lissa right away. I would be poor company for anyone at the moment, let alone her new pupil. Instead I moped around the apartment nursing a wicked headache and replaying every moment of our argument.

Dimitri was right. I was trying to control a lot of the decisions we made in regards to our son. Part of that was because it was my body that was being made a spectacle of and I felt that I had the right to address it in my own time. But it wasn't just my body anymore, was it? I now shared it with Dimitri's son and as such he was just as entitled to making decisions as I was. I'd somehow lost sight of that. No matter how bad I felt about this oversight, however, I couldn't help but also be mad at his accusation. How could I be embarrassed about our son? Give the choice I'd repeat this experience a hundred times over, kidnapping and all if that meant feeling our son move inside me and sharing those moments of joy with Dimitri.

 _Maybe I am a little embarrassed,_ I admitted to myself for the first time. Pregnancy in dhampirs is almost always viewed as dirty because, nine times out of ten, the pregnancy was a result of a hook-up or some other sordid activity. That negative stigma was already rife in our society and was bad enough. For me to be in a committed relationship with another dhampir and turn up pregnant was pretty much an admission of my own guilt as a testament to my unsavory moral character in the eyes of our people.

I hadn't really thought about it in such terms before. Never considered it before Dimitri brought it up.

By the time evening came around I was ready to apologize to him and try to make things better.

Only he didn't come home.

I didn't know if that made me feel guiltier or angrier or both but when morning came and he still wasn't in his customary place beside me in bed my anger returned full force. I sought an outlet in the only place I could

* * *

I barged into Lissa's office without knocking, needing nothing more than to rant to my best friend about the stupidity of men and how my life was currently falling apart. I didn't get very far, however.

"I don't know what I could possibly do to convince him that I'm not _emb_ —" I cut myself off abruptly, spying Lissa, not at her desk as I had anticipated, but on the couch. And she had company. Sitting beside Lissa on the couch was James Wakefield. I had been meant to meet them yesterday but after my fight with Dimitri I had decided against it. I hadn't even thought of the possibility that Lissa would be with him when I'd come storming over a few moments ago. I gave a guilty look to Lissa who looked slightly annoyed but mostly exasperatedly amused as she usually did when I was in one of my moods.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't realize you had company." I nodded to James. "Mr. Wakefield. Good to see that you arrived safely."

"Woah," was all the young boy said, eyes wide as he stared at me.

I raised an eyebrow. Was that a reaction to my entrance or to my physical state? I'd met the boy before at the academy and, while he'd admittedly given me a longer than necessary once over, he hadn't been overly lewd in his attention. He'd obviously found me pretty but not worthy of gaping open mouthed as he was now. Of course, I hadn't looked pregnant back then either. "What?" I demanded, when he continued to stare. "Never seen a pregnant woman before?"

He didn't answer me, instead turning to Lissa. "Is that aura normal?" he demanded. "I haven't seen it before."

I hadn't been expecting that. "What about my aura?" I demanded, glancing reflexively upward as if I could see the colorful cloud that Lissa assured me was there. What was wrong with it? He was acting like the spirit users I'd encountered while bonded to Lissa when they noted my abnormally dark aura. "I thought it went back to normal after the bond broke."

"It did," Lissa confirmed before turning to look at James. "What about it?" she asked him.

"What's with the gold in it?" he asked. "I thought that was spirit users only."

Confusion showed on Lissa's face as she turned and squinted at me. "Is that not normal for a pregnant woman?" she asked while I looked on with my own confusion. Gold? Since when did my aura have gold in it? I was also struck by the sudden oddity of the situation. James had come to Court to learn from Lissa and here she was asking him questions.

James apparently felt the same. He gave Lissa a look. "I thought you were the expert, not me!" He blushed when he remembered who exactly he was talking too. "Sorry, ma'am. Its just—we'll I've seen a few pregnant ladies since this aura stuff started to happen: a teacher, my moms friend, a girl at my school. Their auras never looked like that. They were different, yeah, because of the baby, but not gold. Only gold I ever saw in an aura was yours and Mrs. Tanners. But I don't think I looked at yours when we met back at school," he said, turning back to me. "I was a bit distracted." I shrugged and went to sit in the chair opposite them.

Lissa's eyes lit up, intrigued. "I'd never noticed. The only other woman I've ever been around during a pregnancy was Sonya. She always has gold." She looked at me again. "I guess this has to do with the baby's conception," she puzzled slowly.

James watched me, eyes critical, and I saw a sudden spark of intelligence. "That baby has two dhampir parents, doesn't it?" he asked, excitedly.

I fought to keep my jaw from dropping. I blushed instead and huffed out an indignant "Excuse me!" So far we hadn't told anyone anything about the baby's father. That was one of the reasons—the major one—that Dimitri and I were so on the outs.

James shrugged, unabashed. "You're a legend back at school. Word got out about your pregnancy and people were confused. Some were mad because you have a fairytale relationship with Belikov and ruined it by cheating. They wanted to know why you'd do that. Some said maybe you two wanted to make a family however you could. But from what I've heard about you two over the years neither of those reasons really made sense to me. This does." He leaned forward, looking at me. I realized he was monitoring my aura to see if I denied it. "It makes the most sense if somehow the baby belongs to him. This is some weird spirit side effect. I'm right, aren't I?"

I looked at Lissa, eyes wide. I hadn't realized how many people were speculating. Inside of Court, yeah, they saw me every day. But outside of Court?

"We haven't told many people that," Lissa admitted cautiously, knowing it would do no good to lie to James. Even as a new spirit user he seemed pretty adept at the whole aura thing. "It could cause problems if people knew."

"Problems how?" James asked, leaning back against the couch, a self-satisfied smile playing on his lips. It struck me that the shy boy I'd thought I met back at the academy had just been cowed by the reputation of his visitors and the shock of his specialization. Apparently on a normal basis James Wakefield was a bit cocky. I was even more annoyed to realize that I recognized a lot of his mannerisms as my own. I tried to ignore that and addressed his question.

"Well," I said. "If dhampirs can have babies without the help of Moroi what's to keep us from abandoning them? We risk a lot to protect Moroi and we do it because our race can't survive without them."

"That's true enough." James agreed. "But what does that have to do with you?"

I was beginning to wonder about that spark of intelligence I'd thought id seen. "Everything." I stressed. "This baby is proof that we don't need the Moroi."

"Uh, yes you do," he insisted. "I mean, both parents are dhampir, yes, but you still need a Moroi spirit user to—er—help things along. You're still dependent on Moroi. And they're in short supply. It's like Restoring Strigoi; you can do it, it's a miracle and we've never thought it was possible before, but Strigoi are still killed. It's impractical to try and Restore them all. If dhampirs try to reproduce with only other dhampirs it would be so insignificant that the species would die out anyway." He suddenly looked embarrassed. "I like biology. I get carried away sometimes. Sorry."

I stared at the kid, eyes wide in surprise.

So. Easy.

He was right. That was the solution and it was so simple. How had I not thought of it? Looking at it now, it was a completely obvious solution. I remembered what Dimitri had told me the day I'd been complaining about narrowing down the suspects for the traitor: don't look too hard, you might miss something simple.

Well damn. I'd missed a real simple solution to my concerns about undermining the guardian system and that overlook had potentially cost me the trust and respect of the man I loved.

* * *

"I'm sorry," I said as soon as Dimitri stepped through the door that night. He looked up, surprised, at my abrupt announcement. I continued on before he could interrupt. "I'm sorry that I was so caught up in worrying about what other people thought about our son that I failed to involve you and take your opinions into consideration. I may not be as selfish as I was back in high school but I still have a long way to go before I'm as selfless as you."

Dimitri moved across the small entryway and came to the dining table where I sat. He pulled a chair out and swung it so that he was facing me when he finally sat. He reached forward and took my hands in his, his large, warm palms dwarfing my own and reminding me of just how large he really was. Dimitri always looked amazing. He looked even more so now, in the aftermath of an argument that had rocked the foundation of our relationship and reminded me that things weren't set in stone, there was always the possibility that Dimitri wouldn't stay in my life. It was unlikely, and I knew that one argument, no matter how bad it was, wouldn't change things. But it was a scary realization.

"You are many things, Roza, but selfish isn't one of them. I should never of implied otherwise. You were being protective," he gave me a small smile. "You were being a mother."

I sighed. "Maybe, but I wasn't being a very good girlfriend in the process."

"I wasn't being a very good boyfriend," he countered. "I should have expressed my concerns and opinions before things got so crazy. I sort of blew up at you."

"You had every right," I assured him. I gave him a helpless smile. "This is ridiculous. I hate fighting with you."

"We're not fighting," he assured me. "Now that we are on the same page I think we'll both be more careful about co-parenting in the future."

We sat like that for a moment, his callused thumb tracing random designs across the backs of my hands. I watched the deft movements with half a mind, the rest of my thoughts focused on my conversation with James Wakefield earlier that day. After a few more minutes of silence I told Dimitri about it.

"He's right," Dimitri said after taking a few moments to process my words. The look of relief in his eyes was real and fervent. "The news of the baby might actually have the opposite effect you were worried about."

"How so?" I asked, not following his line of thought. "I mean, maybe it wont tear apart the guardian system, yeah, but how could it do anything to help it?"

"Our baby is proof that dhampirs can have a family, yes. And that empowers us. Moroi treat dhampirs the way they do now because we need them; because they can get away with it. News of our son could change that. They would become more appreciative of our role in their lives if they had the potential to lose it. On the same token, it gives dhampirs hope, and people with hope put more of themselves into everything they do."

"But," he added, "just because this has happened once doesn't mean its about to start happening everywhere. James is right, spirit users are still a necessary part of the process and that still makes us dependent on Moroi in some capacity."

"Assuming that people even believe that its true," I added at the end. "People still tend to doubt me and the crazy that comes with me."

"They can't refute some of the things Lissa does," Dimitri pointed out with a wry smile. "Remember how adamant I was that you weren't seeing ghosts? And then Mason led you to the caves?"

"And then you got to see the ghosts yourself in Russia," I pointed out.

He shuddered. "I'd as soon as never experience that again," he assured me. "The point is people can deny something as much as they want but if its true then the proof will show itself eventually. Whether we decide a DNA test is necessary proof or the child comes out looking exactly like me," he gave me a teasing yet hopeful smile at that last part, "eventually those naysayers will be proven otherwise."

I slid out of my own chair and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I felt whole again in his embrace.

"You're right and I love you," I kissed his jaw lightly, "but in the end the only person I really care about believing the truth is you."

* * *

"What about 'Aleksey'?" I asked, pausing on the name and turning it over in my head. I liked the sound of it. After our talk when Dimitri got home—and our later reconciliation in the bedroom—we'd settled down curled up together on our bed, thumbing through baby books and websites. Our sons' birth was getting rapidly closer and yet we hadn't done much more than rule out a few names over the past months.

Dimitri hummed in approval. "It's a good, strong, name. It means 'defender'."

"Well that kind of fits, doesn't it?" I asked, rubbing my stomach over the spot where I'd just felt a particularly strong kick. "He'll probably be a guardian some day. Assuming he is a dhampir and not some weird mutant breed."

"I'm positive he's dhampir," Dimitri assured me. "And it's a very good name," he agreed, placing his hand alongside mine.

"And," I added, moving on from my earlier joke, "it says here that the nickname for it is 'Aleks', which sounds like 'Alex' and that is a completely normal nickname for once, even for a Russian name."

Dimitri chuckled. "You and this issue with Russian nicknames," he teased.

"I'm sorry," I said primly, "But I still don't see how they get 'Dimka' from 'Dimitri'. There's not even a 'k' in your name!"

"It makes more sense in Cyrillic."

"Yeah, well, our baby is going to grow up here in America so he can have an American nickname."

"He can have an American name, too," he pointed out. "We don't have to pick something Russian." I knew he was being kind to me. He'd said that before as I insisted on searching through a Russian name database on my phone while he flipped through the paperback Lissa had gotten us. I also knew it meant a lot to him that I was looking into Russian names to start with.

"I'm not limiting us," I objected. "We'll pick the name that's right for him, whether it is American, Russian or even Turkish. I just won't name my child something stupid like 'Oleg'." I said, pointing to the name at the bottom of the page I was on.

Dimitri shuddered mockingly. "I had an instructor back at St. Basils. We did not get along well. His name was Oleg."

I laughed outright. "Who would have thought, you had your very own Stan Alto!"

He nodded, serious. "I cannot think of that name without picturing him."

"Well that's two names we can rule out then!" I announced, adding them to the 'no' list I had going on my phone. "But I do like the name Aleksey. A lot. We'll keep that one in mind."


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

34

"You're on medical leave," Hans told me.

"I'm twenty-eight weeks pregnant, I'm not diseased!" I objected crossly, flinging my hands up in exasperation. Lissa rolled her eyes at my theatrics. "I'm perfectly capable of sitting at a damn table with you and planning a strategy."

"I know you, Guardian Hathaway," my boss informed me dryly. "You won't drawl the line with planning. Next it will be helping check supplies, then meeting and personally vetting all guardians involved. Next thing you know you'll have wheedled your way onto the plane with us and be headed for Boston."

I glowered at him. "I would not!" I objected. Then paused. "Besides, would that be such a bad thing?" I asked. "An extra set of eyes couldn't hurt."

"No," he and Lissa chorused. "You're staying at Court."

I glared. "What good can I do here?"

"You can stay safe," Lissa said. "You got another note today, didn't you?" I didn't respond but my silence was as good as saying yes. "Exactly," she said. "Its not safe for you to leave the wards."

"And its safe for you?" I queried sarcastically, hands on hips. The action only worked to emphasize the sizable dome of my belly, which probably didn't help my case.

"No," she admitted. "But unlike you, I have to go. Plus, ever since you started telling people the truth about the baby you've generated a lot of attention."

I scoffed. Attention. Try all out media scandal. It seemed like we were all that people talked about anymore. When I'd finally set the record straight about my son's paternity at the gym one day I hadn't anticipated the veritable hurricane of public opinion to follow. I'd known it would be interesting and a bit messy, but I hadn't expected to need a full on FEMA cleanup team to handle the situation.

There were currently two main groups in regards to the news: those that outright denounced me for my debauchery and lies and those that believed me and not only viewed me with excitement and hope but downright worshiped Lissa for her role in the situation. Both groups made me uncomfortable though I found myself better equipped to deal with my enemies than those that wanted to hear again and _again_ how my baby was conceived. I'd gotten frustrated after the fiftieth or so time explaining Lissa's role in the matter and instead started telling people in exact detail how Dimitri had done his part in fathering our son. Dimitri was downright scandalized that I'd publicly and accurately described what he was capable of. Most women were impressed.

It wasn't the rude comments and not so subtle threats that I received within the wards that worried Lissa though, it was the notes I'd been receiving. Not including the one Marlen had sent with the baby clothes, I'd received three other notes from him in which he liked to detail the gruesome plans he had for me and my son.

I knew a lost argument when I came across it, besides Dimitri and Christian had already assured me that they would be attending the conference, adding extra muscle and fire magic to Lissa's defenses. It was the best I would get in that regard. But that didn't mean I couldn't participate in any way possible.

"How about a deal?" I said instead, rubbing my forehead wearily where I felt the beginning of yet another tension headache coming on. I'd been getting them more and more often lately. "You agree to let me participate in the planning and I'll promise not to argue about leaving the wards anymore."

Both Lissa and Hans gave me a skeptical look, assessing my expression for any signs that I was lying.

"And you won't do anything stupid on Court grounds while we're gone either?" Lissa asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue at her. Part of me was already planning on how I'd sniff out the Court rat in their absence. While we'd received no outward threats from Marlen's anonymous partner, Marlens notes had been making their way into my care without detection. After the package was dropped off at the dhampir housing complex security had been tightened. Since then the notes were completely random. I'd found one in my gym locker, one taped to my apartment door and, perhaps the most terrifying, one slipped into Lissa's pile of Council documents. The rat needed to be found and dealt with before they did something worse than pass on information and deliver notes.

"I won't do anything stupid," I assured her.

She sighed. "Then be here at eight tomorrow," she said gesturing to the office around her. Apparently her office was our command post until we knew who could be trusted at Court. "We'll settle the details and make sure that nobody other than us knows the plan."

* * *

"Are you okay, Roza?" Dimitri whispered, leaning closer to me so that his lips were at my ear.

I nodded and fought to remove my hand from my forehead. We'd been arguing the details of Lissa's travel and protection plan for hours and the headache that had started yesterday had only grown worse over time.

I'd been getting headaches more frequently as my pregnancy progressed and Dr. Gibson had assured me that it was from a combination of stress and not drinking enough water. I pulled my own water bottle closer now and chugged a bit of it before answering Dimitri.

"Fine, comrade," I said, giving him a somewhat convincing smile, despite the fact that there were currently two of him in my field of vision. Double vision was a common side effect of my headaches. I was no stranger to them, I'd been dealing with them since my shadow kissed days, but these pregnancy ones put my usual ones to shame.

"Maybe you should rest," Dimitri said, concerned. "If the medicine isn't helping it then you should probably quit before you make it worse."

I'd downed two Tylenol—the only medication I was allowed to take while pregnant—almost an hour ago and the weak ass medication hadn't even touched the pain.

"Don't worry yourself," I told him. "I'll be fine. We're almost done. There are just so many pieces to this plan, I'm sure I'm not the only one getting a headache from it."

That was true enough. Several other members of our group were rubbing their heads and faces in frustration by this point in the day. My team, with two new and completely vetted guardians to replace Alan and Xavier, were all present along with Lissa, Christian, Mikhail, Mia, my mother and Hans. Mia would also be accompanying Lissa to Boston as another magic user. Hans had decided that, considering the high risk nature of the conference after Pittsburgh, he would also be accompanying Lissa to Boston. I was sure that between him, my mother and Dimitri there was enough ass-kickery available there to sufficiently make up for my absence.

"Lets run through this one last time." Hans command was met by groans and the shuffling of papers and resettling of restless bodies.

"We will have three SUV's prepped, packed and waiting in the parking garages that morning," Alistair started off. "Its about a four and a half hour drive to Boston from here. Daniel, George, Mia and I will drive there."

"We'll make a bigger deal about settling the SUV's but we won't file the flight plan for Boston until just before take-off," Stella put in. "While the SUV's are prepped to roll out we'll take Her Majesty and the rest of our group to the tarmac and get in the air before anyone realizes that she didn't load into the cars."

"We'll have a group waiting on the ground in Boston at the private airfield," Mia added. "You'll land in full daylight so there should be no problem getting to one of the hotels."

"We have five different reservations made at major hotels in the area," Christian said. "They'll all be thoroughly checked the day we get there and we'll pick one at random though we'll check in to all of them." This was to confuse any followers as to which hotel Lissa was actually in. All five hotels would have a higher than normal presence of guardians patrolling. All the hotels would be hosting Moroi also attending the event so the manpower wouldn't be wasted on appearances alone.

There was a lot of more technical information that we skipped over during this summary, info about patrols and shift rotations and routs to take to and from the tarmac and hotel and conference but those were also burned into our memory. Everything was planned out from what luggage would be loaded into the SUVs to where they would stop for gas along the way. Every detail was planned out, as were alternatives if anything were to go wrong. They would be gone for three days and I knew I wouldn't get a wink of sleep while they were out of my sight.

"Alright," Hans said at last. "That's everything. Stick to your jobs and we leave in two days."

He left quickly after that, as did most of the team who had a lot of preparations to see to. I felt useless as I watched them go, knowing that I had no such tasks. Soon it was just Lissa, Christian, Dimitri and I remaining.

"I don't like this," I grumbled as I ditched my wooden seat at the table in favor of the loveseat. I draped myself across it, feeling the vertebrae of my lower back pop as the weight in my belly dragging down shifted off of them at last. I winced and rubbed my right side under my ribs where the muscles pulled in response.

"You promised you wouldn't fight," Lissa reminded me, voice pleading. I knew she just wanted to see me safe but it irked me that she felt the need to protect me now. That was my job and nobody was letting me do it.

"I'm not," I snapped then, seeing the hurt on her face, quickly adjusted my tone. "I just don't like you leaving the wards without me. I worry about you."

She gave me a warm smile. "I know you do."

The conversation moved onto more benign topics involving Court gossip, the latest news from our friends and updates on Christian's magic programs in the academies, including the progress they were making on the new programs that the Council had approved.

I pitched in when necessary but mostly just listened, closing my eyes and trying to assuage the piercing pain behind my eyes.

"Roza," Dimitri's voice startled me and my eyes flew open. Two of his concerned faces floated over me, brows furrowed. "Are you alright, love? You fell asleep." I looked around sheepishly to where Lissa and Christian conversed in low tones, politely ignoring us.

"Sorry," I apologized, embarrassed.

Dimitri gave me a look that said I was ridiculous for apologizing.

"Lets get you home, Roza. It's been a long day."

We parted ways with our company and headed off at a slow, ambling pace towards home. It was a rare moment anymore when Dimitri and I were able to take our time walking anywhere together and I intended to enjoy it, headache or no. I kept one arm linked with his so that I didn't trip over anything that my distorted vision hid, and conversed with him in low tones. The sun was starting to rise and many people were finding their way home for the night, swarming along the path around us.

"It scares me," I admitted to him quietly, as we walked around a gaggle of women diverting the flow of traffic. "That you'll be out there with Lissa and in as much danger as her. I mean, Marlen is after you, too."

Dimitri nodded. "That may be true, but we can't stay behind the wards forever. If we do that he still wins."

"I don't want to be stuck behind the wards," I assured him. "Its more that I want to be there to help. I love Lissa, never doubt that, but she has so many people looking after her. I need you to remember to look after yourself too. I need you back here. _We_ need you back here." My emphasis on we did not slip his notice. He brought his other hand around to place it on my belly. Our son was active at the moment, shifting position as he did with increasing frequency. I knew that things were starting to get tight for him in there.

"I will always fight to make it home to you two." He hesitated. "But Rose, you know the risks of what we do."

"I know," I sighed, rubbing at the spot under my right ribs where a dull pain had started up once again. "And I've always accepted those risks. It just seems different now."

The words were sour in my mouth. I loved my job and I couldn't imagine not spending every day guarding Lissa, but I was about to have a son who frankly needed my protection more than her, both from scrutiny and hostility at Court and the dangers of the world outside the wards. That would be a full time job in-and-of itself and one I needed Dimitri for.

"Everything seems different when a child is involved," he agreed, shifting so that now we walked with one of his arms wrapped around my waist.

A Moroi, who had been walking nearby, muttered something. I missed it but Dimitri did not. He stopped walking abruptly, causing a murmur of malcontent in the crowd behind us as they parted to continue on. Dimitri fixed the Moroi with a cold eye.

"Excuse me, sir?" he asked, voice cold. "But I believe that is none of your concern. I'll ask for your apology now."

The Moroi, a man in his mid-forties who I did not recognize but based on his nice clothes and expensive haircut I guessed was a royal, made a face, stopping his own movements to address Dimitri.

"It is my concern and everyone else's when she tries to upend our society and everything we know with blatant lies," he sneered, looking at me as if I was something nasty he'd scrapped off the bottom of his expensive shoes. "But truly, what should we expect from a queen killer? Crafting elaborate stories is how she gets herself out of trouble."

"I'm no queen killer and I'm not a liar!" I exclaimed at the same moment Dimitri growled "Apologize, now."

The man did not take Dimitri's advice, continuing to address me instead. "You are a charlatan and an adulterer and you," he swung to look at Dimitri, "are either too stupid or too pussy-whipped to notice."

Dimitri might very well have attacked the man if I hadn't laid a restraining hand on his arm, fingernails digging into his forearm in painful warning.

My pulse was hammering angrily in my throat and I felt the reverberating thuds throughout my body. My vision was swimming dangerously before me and one of the key reasons that I didn't attack the man myself was because I wasn't sure which of the two images before me was the real man.

"Stop wasting your breath on people who could care less about you," I advised him, gritting my teeth both in anger and against the pain.

"Everyone will know the fraud you are soon enough," the man assured me. "And when they do you and your kind will finally lose your grip on Moroi politics and slink back to the communes where you belong."

He pivoted on one heel and disappeared into the thinning crowd. I stared after him, the world spinning slightly. It wasn't the first time I'd been told I was lying, it wasn't even the first time I'd been called a charlatan which I thought was impressive because I'd thought that word was dead and buried. But it was the first time someone had said that I'd been responsible for dhampirs losing what little status we'd gained under Lissa's rule.

My spinning surroundings had not settling as I had expected. Instead, the world swarmed faster and faster and I felt my breathing and pulse speed up in in response.

"Rose?" Dimitri demanded sharply, coming out of his own shock and internal debate to realize that I was still clutching his arm too tightly. "What's wrong?"

"I—I—" I couldn't finish the thought. Panic suddenly rushed through me as I realized how little control I currently had over my own body. I had spent years conditioning my body to listen to my commands even when exposed to the worst pain imaginable, so it was extremely scary to realize that none of that control was left at the moment. I forced my mouth to speak.

"Something's wrong," I managed to gasp out before the ground fell out from under me and my world went black.

* * *

 **A/N: Alright! We are approaching that point in the story where I always start to tie up loose ends. That being said, please review and let me know if there are any loose ends or mysteries that you want to make sure I address. I do my best to keep track of them all but I like to make sure I don't leave anyone hanging.**


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

35

*Dimitri*

Dimitri looked at the prone figure laying on the hospital bed and wondered if there would ever be a stretch of more than a few months between Rose nearly dying or getting seriously injured. It wasn't good for his own health and he was convinced that each scare such as this one took years off his life.

After Rose's seriously understated comment of "something's wrong" she'd dropped like a sack of potatoes in the middle of the residential courtyard. He'd caught her only barely and—ignoring the cries of surprise and curiosity from onlookers—swung her up into his arms and made for the infirmary.

Over an hour later and Rose hadn't regained consciousness. He sat beside Lissa in the small, private room watching her breathe and listening to the reassuring, if a little rapid, beeps of the heart monitors.

Doctor Gibson came through the door and Lissa immediately jumped up.

"I tried healing her," she informed the doctor. "It didn't work. Why can't I heal her?" she demanded.

The doctor, who was visibly startled at the outburst, took a moment to regain her composure before speaking.

"When Rose came in both her and the baby's heart rates were elevated as was her blood pressure," the doctor said, addressing them both. "I'm having a urine protein test and platelet count run just to be sure but I think Rose may be exhibiting signs of preeclampsia. That's a condition only curable through the birth of the child so I wouldn't expect you to be able to heal her."

"Preeclampsia?" Dimitri demanded, shocked. "But Rose is young and healthy. I though that women who got that were either unhealthy or older."

The doctor nodded in agreement. "In most cases, yes. But many cases also present during first pregnancies, particularly high risk ones, which Rose's definitely is considering the circumstances."

The circumstances. Dimitri hated that phrase. Why was their child a circumstance? Why couldn't it just be a miracle like he thought it was?

"Rose had mentioned headaches when I last saw her," the doctor said. "Have they continued or gotten worse?"

"Worse," Dimitri and Lissa both answered. Dimitri continued. "She tried not to complain but you could tell they were getting worse. But Rose has always suffered from headaches and she's been under a lot of stress lately. I don't think anyone really thought much of it." Dimitri silently berated himself for not forcing her to go to the doctor when the headache hadn't gone away by this morning. Going to the meeting about Boston had most certainly not helped it. Neither, probably, had the confrontation with the royal in the courtyard.

"Increased stress would mask the symptoms at first," the doctor admitted. "Can you think of any other changes? Edema—swelling? Vomiting? Abdominal pain or vision changes? Shortness of breath?"

Dimitri thought over the past few weeks carefully. "Vision," he said at last. "She's been tripping a lot more often, and bumping into things."

"Abdominal pain," Lissa added. Both the doctor and Dimitri looked at her with curiosity. Lissa shrugged. "She's always rubbing her right side. She says the baby kicks a lot but he kicks _everywhere_ and she only favors her right side."

"Its common for pain to present under the right ribs," Doctor Gibson supplied in agreement. "I'm fairly convinced we have the right diagnosis but I'll wait for the tests to confirm. I'd also like to keep her overnight for observation.

"Can we do anything about it?" Dimitri asked. "Since Lissa can't heal it."

The doctor shook her head in negation. "Unfortunately, the cause of the condition is the pregnancy itself. Until the child is delivered the stress on Rose's system will continue. We can manage it with careful monitoring and reduced activity. Her blood pressure is the biggest concern at the moment. It needs to be brought down to safer levels. Ideally I'd put her on bed rest until she gives birth but I doubt seriously that will do her any good either. We'll really have to limit her activity levels though. No more trips to the gym, no more stressful situations, no more sex," she informed Dimitri, who nodded obligingly. "The good news is that she's already twenty-eight weeks which is considered viability. If something drastic were to happen and we had to deliver the child its odds of survival are very good." 'Odds of survival' did not sound good to Dimitri at all. He didn't want any odds other than the full health of his son and Rose. The next several weeks were bound to be difficult.

* * *

"What do you mean 'bed rest'?" I demanded crossly, folding my arms over my chest. This action was somewhat understated due to my reclining position on the hospital bed. "I'm already doing nothing!"

"We just need to reduce your stress levels," Dr. Gibson soothed me. She stood at the foot of my bed, looking at me over a clipboard presumably holding my medical charts.

"My activities have nothing to do with my stress!" I objected. "That comes from other people commenting on my son and my moral character." And my job, and the notes Marlen was sending me, and my own reservations about being a mother. "If anything I'll be more stressed if you confine me to bed and give me too much time to think about everything!"

"We aren't restricting you to a bed," Dimitri—damn the man, he was agreeing with the doctor—murmured, reaching out to uncross my arms and gently stroke my left hand around the bulky bandage securing an IV to it. I was restricted to the infirmary overnight for observation and fluids. I reached my now free right hand down to my stomach and scratched uselessly at the tight band cinched around my belly, monitoring the baby's heart rate. It itched like crazy. "You can still go to Lissa's, shop around Court and go to the café. Just take out the more strenuous activities."

I understood what they were saying and the rational part of my mind agreed. When I'd originally woken up in this bed and they'd told me that my tests came back positive for preeclampsia I'd immediately wanted to do whatever it took to reduce the risk to my baby. That rational part of my brain, however, was currently suppressed by my raging hormones and I found myself arguing against my better judgment.

"First you take away my job, now you'll take away anything else I can do to make myself feel _useful_? Since when have I been content to just putter around Court like some royal and let other people take care of me?"

"Others might be taking care of you but you're protecting your son," Dr. Gibson said, voice serious but not unkind. "You're three-quarters of the way through this ordeal Rose. After the baby's here you can resume your normal activities. I think a few weeks of sacrifice are worth the end result myself."

Her words sobered me and I relaxed back against my pillows, eyes drifting to the monitor that recorded my baby's heartbeat.

"I know," I said with a sigh. "I can be a bitch on a good day. These mood swings are murder."

Dimitri muttered something under his breath in Russian and I got the distinct impression he was commenting on his position at the other end of them. I let it slide. He was a saint for putting up with me and I'd let him know that later.

"Take it easy, huh?" I commented instead. "I guess this will give me an excuse to finally finish the nursery."

* * *

In any event, I didn't finish the nursery for a while. Dimitri and I had added to it slowly over time and, while we had the main furniture constructed and most of the necessary pieces, we hadn't fully organized it. We had intentions of painting the walls a soft blue but I was told that under no circumstances was I to undertake that challenge by myself and with Dimitri leaving for Boston the day after I was released from the infirmary I had nobody else to do it. Sonya had offered her assistance but it quickly became apparent that we would get nothing done with a toddler running around the apartment and getting into everything. So, instead of the nursery, baby locks became the topic of conversation. Sonya was helpful, pointing out the different places that would need them, though she assured me that until my son could walk they wouldn't be necessary.

In reality, she was there to keep an eye on me, per Dimitri's request. With the traitor still at Court he felt that if he and my guardian friends had to be away then a kick ass spirit user would be the next best defense. Her company put a halt to my search for the traitor but also provided me with a decent distraction in my worry for our loved ones outside the wards.

I'd received a text earlier in the day from Lissa telling me that they had landed and successfully sequestered themselves into a safe hotel for the night. It was full dark outside now and I found myself counting away the hours until dawn. Every time Sonya caught me glancing out the window she tried to distract me. It was during one such distraction attempt that she brought up probably the worst possible topic.

"I've been meaning to ask," she said, lounging on the couch beside me, Mandy finally passed out in the oversized chair across from us. My apartment looked like a tornado had blown through. I turned my attention to my former teacher. "You'll remember the attempts at the anti-Strigoi vaccination I had a few years back?"

I nodded. Three years back a spirit user, Nina, had Restored her dhampir sister, Olive. Right after the restoration Sonya, with the help of Sydney, Lissa and Adrian, had managed to create a tattoo ink out of Olives blood and the residual spirit trapped inside, which presumably kept the recipient from being turned. Though we hadn't put the tattoo to the test—none of us were willing to intentionally get our friend Neal attacked—our spirit user friends were convinced that he was now immune to the Strigoi way of life. While this had been an initial success progress after that had come to a stand still. There had been no known Strigoi Restorations since and Sonya had had no luck replicating the effects despite her best efforts. We'd all marked up the success to a one time occurrence that would never be mass-replicated, potential or not.

"Of course," I agreed. "Have you made progress?" I asked, suddenly interested. Had she been working on this without telling us? I had thought she was fully consumed by her current life as mother, biology teacher and part-time spirit consultant.

"Nothing to speak of," she admitted, "but I have a new theory." I nodded for her to continue. She studied me with sharp eyes and I suddenly realized that she was studying my own aura. "Your aura has been changing lately. It was gradual at first and I didn't make the connection until a few weeks ago." I was suddenly uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. "But I realized I've seen this type of aura before. Not as strong, mind you, but I've seen it."

I tried to clear my throat but my mouth was suddenly dry. "And where have you seen it?"

She raised on perfectly shaped eyebrow. "On Olive. I don't think I recognized it at first because it faded over time, as the spirit magic worked its way out of her blood, but when she was originally Restored her aura was very similar to yours now. And Neal's changed slightly after the tattoo. But where theirs faded, or remained steady, yours has only grown stronger. In fact, I don't think its yours at all. It's the baby's."

I couldn't speak. My throat was suddenly tight. Sonya took my speechlessness as encouragement to continue.

"Imagine! He could be the answer we've been looking for. The amount of spirit coursing through his veins must be immense! I've already noticed the gold present but the rest of it? It's incredible. He could be the key to everything. He could help save our people from ever being forcibly turned."

She watched me with wide, excited eyes. The color was high in her cheeks, flushed as she was with her passion and excitement.

I felt no such excitement. I stood up on wobbly knees and stumbled away from her.

"Y-you'll stay away from my son," I sputtered out, panic thundering through my veins.

Her expression collapsed at once to one of shock and confusion.

"But why?" she demanded. "Isn't this great news?"

Great news? _Great news_? She was putting words to exactly what I'd been afraid of from the moment I found out I was pregnant. She wanted to experiment on my child.

I shook my head rapidly. "No. No, you can't touch him. I won't let anyone use him."

"I'm not trying to hurt him, Rose," she was trying to be soothing but her words had the opposite effect. I needed to get away from her. To get away from this conversation all together. I knew Sonya didn't mean any harm by her intentions but she was a scientist after all and what was to stop her from bridging the tenuous gap between good intentions and using someone for the greater good? Victor had started like that, needing something simple and rational— a cure to his Sandovskys Syndrome — and going to extreme lengths like sacrificing both his daughter and Lissa's life in the process. I couldn't let my son be on the bad end of a potential cure.

I turned and fled from my apartment, leaving Sonya stunned and confused.

* * *

I couldn't move very fast and yet my feet managed to take me as far from the dhampir living quarters as possible. Sometime later I ended up wandering around the service sector for higher up Moroi, ignoring the constant buzzing of my phone as Sonya tried to call me. I had no desire to be here, hated the stares that were openly sent my way, but at least here I knew what people were thinking. They were judging me, saying I was a liar and a whore. They could say whatever they wanted because they, at least, couldn't do any harm with their words. Sonya's words had terrified me because she had the ability to act on them.

I was tired of everything. I was tired of the threats and the comments but above all I was tired of the uncertainty. The future was never clear but over the past few years I'd gotten used to it at least being predictable. It centered around a few things: fight Strigoi, protect Lissa, make the world a better place. Now? I couldn't guess anything about the future. Would my son be healthy? Would he be judged for my actions or for what he was? What would he be? Dhampir? Some sort of hybrid? Would he ever get a chance at a normal life?

I didn't like not having the answers and I scowled at the reality that I wouldn't have them for a long time to come.

"If looks could kill," someone said nearby. I nearly fell. As it was I stumbled over uneven cobblestones and a strong arm struck out and caught me around my upper arm. I regained my balance and looked meekly at Ambrose. I hadn't even seen him, caught up as I was in my own musings. He was lounging on a bench near the courtyard fountain. I hadn't even realized I was passing by the spa he worked at. He was dressed in his white polo shirt with the spas logo, making me suspect that he was on his break.

"Thanks for the catch," I said. He patted the bench beside him and I figured it couldn't hurt to take a seat. I didn't have anywhere to go anyway. I wasn't sure if Sonya was waiting for me to return or not.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said, looking concerned.

"It was my fault," I assured him. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Well I'm glad to know that look wasn't aimed at me, at least."

I made a face at him. "It wasn't at anyone in particular. I just have a lot on my mind."

"I can imagine," he glanced down at my stomach and I gave an internal sigh. Even Ambrose, poster boy for questionable relationships, probably thought I was a closet blood whore trying to pass off my mistake for a miracle. "For what it's worth, I believe you."

Or not.

I raised an eyebrow. "You do?" I asked. "I'm actually surprised. You know how kinky reality can be. Why don't you assume the worst of me, too?" My words were bitter and I realized in retrospect that I'd probably insulted him by mistake. He didn't seem offended by my words though.

"Because I know you," he said. "And I've seen you do some pretty incredible and down right impossible things since I've known you. You found Tatiana's murderer and I'll always be grateful for that. And I know how much you care about Dimitri."

"I do," I agreed, relieved to have someone understand, even if his opinions meant next to nothing in Court society. They meant a lot to me.

"I haven't gotten to speak with you lately," he admitted, "and I'm sorry for that. But I've been meaning to catch up with you. I was worried."

I blushed slightly from embarrassment. I hadn't even spared him a thought in the past several weeks and here he had been, worrying about me.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you lately, too," I said. It was the right thing to say. Even though it wasn't strictly the truth he seemed to light up at my words. I realized that I was probably one of the few people at Court who he could actually count as a friend. I didn't judge him like the rest of Court did. I may not agree with some of his past choices but they were his own choices to do with his own life and his own body. "If we ever go this long without seeing each other again please come set me right. I tend to get caught up in things and lose track of time."

He gave me a brilliant smile. "I will." The smile faded slightly. "But you have a lot to get caught up in. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."

No doubt he was. With the combination of his ability to blend into his surroundings and his copious jobs around the elite of Court he probably knew more about every individual here than even the guardians.

It was that realization that spurred a sudden moment of genius on my part.

"Actually yes," I said, heart speeding up in sudden anticipation. "I have a problem and nobody has been able to figure it out so far."

Ambrose leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, eyes intent.

I slowly explained my situation to him, about how I'd realized back in January that someone at Court had betrayed Lissa and everything that had happened since. When I finished my explanations of the dead ends we'd come up with he leaned back, a quizzical look on his face.

"Someone who opposes Lissa's rule…. it's not a small list," he admitted reluctantly. "But someone who had the opportunity to come across this Marlen guy and the gall to work with him. Well, that shortens it doesn't it? You'd need someone pretty tough. Most Moroi run at the thought of Strigoi."

I nodded in agreement. I hadn't mentioned my suspicions of Nathan Ivashkov but his words lined up with my suspicions of him. Nathan Ivashkov was no pansy. Unlike most of the Courts population I could see him treating a relationship with Marlen like a business deal if it meant getting what he wanted.

"I'll think about it. Poke around a bit. Maybe I can come up with something useful."

I gave him a smile, my first real one of the night. "Thank you, Ambrose. That means a lot to me."

"Anything for you," he gave me his usual self-assured wink and I felt myself relax in the presence of his normal banter.

My phone buzzed again and I silenced it with an impatient flick of my wrist.

Ambrose raised an eyebrow. "Lovers quarrel?"

"No," I sighed. "Just a disagreement with a friend. At any rate I don't feel like heading home yet."

"Then come with me!" he said, jumping to his feet and pulling me with him.

"Where?" I demanded, slipping the silenced phone back in my pocket.

"You're worried about your future and you don't want to go home yet," he said, moving us towards the spa. "You should talk with my aunt. Maybe she can help."

* * *

I really didn't think that Rhonda would give me any more answers than she had during my last two readings but once Ambrose made the decision to bring me to his aunt there was no changing his mind.

"I know you are a skeptic," he said, hand securely around my wrist as he led me through the back hallways of the spa and to his aunts workroom. "But I think it might really help. She gave me a reading a while back and it suddenly made everything clearer to me. I was struggling a bit, trying to figure out what I was really supposed to do with my life, but now I know."

I wanted to point out that if he was still working menial jobs for the Moroi than his aunts reading hadn't really changed anything but I let that slide. To the best of my knowledge he wasn't whoring himself out anymore and if that was attributed to his aunts advice then I couldn't completely begrudge her.

"Her fortunes always tend to make sense _after_ the events foretold actually happen. How is that helpful now?"

"At least it will make sense when things finally happen." We came to a halt outside a familiar door. He turned to face me. "Besides, what do you have to lose?"

He was right, and more because I didn't want to return to my apartment and my conversation with Sonya than because I wanted my fortune read, I followed him.

The waiting room was empty and Ambrose led me straight past the secretary and into the throbbing heart of his aunts reading room.

Rhonda looked exactly the same as she always had, down to the flowy over-gown and curly brown hair.

She smiled when she saw me.

"Rose!" she exclaimed, getting to her feet and coming around the low table to greet me. She clasped me in a warm hug and squeezed tight. "So good to see you! Though I must say, I didn't expect your company while I was at work."

I gave her a slightly sarcastic smile and elbowed Ambrose at my side. "Your nephew is pretty persuasive. I can see why you're still in business."

She threw her head back and laughed. "All to do with his recruiting and nothing to do with my skill, I see. Always a skeptic." She sighed before turning back to her original seat. My phone buzzed again. Annoyed I dug it out of my pocket and shoved it in Ambrose's direction.

"Can you hold onto this for me?" If I was going to be suckered into a reading I might as well do it right, no distractions. He nodded, taking the phone and slipping it into his pocket. I turned to Rhonda and continued our conversation.

"That's not how I meant it," I said, blush creeping onto my cheeks. I didn't think she was a quack, exactly. I knew too many people with unexplainable powers to immediately put her off as a fraud. But then again, I knew too many people with unexplainable powers to think she was any good with the few she possessed.

She shrugged. "However you meant it the fact remains that you are still here now and I'll help you in any way I can."

She sat down on the opposite side of the table from me and I took an awkward minute to try and lower myself to the floor. A strong hand clasped my arm gently and Ambrose helped lower me to my seat. I gave him a grateful smile which he returned before quietly slipping out the door and leaving me alone with his aunt.

"I see fate has been kind to you," she said, nodding to my stomach. If nothing else could be said about my pregnancy it was a great conversation starter.

"Everything is taken with a grain of salt," I answered. She took up her tarot cards from the corner of the table and began shuffling.

"How do you mean?" she asked.

"I wouldn't change anything," I assured her, resting a protective hand on my stomach, feeling my baby move beneath my palm. "But I'm not sure 'kind' is what fate was going for."

She shrugged again. She did that a lot and the action gave her a distinctly bird-like impression.

"We do not always understand the intentions of the powers that be. If we did then things might be even more confusing for mortals than they already are. Cut the cards please." She offered up the card deck and I obliged.

"How many cards today?" she asked.

"Lets make it shorter," I said. "I really shouldn't stay too long." True enough. While I had no desire to return to Sonya and our conversation I didn't want her to get worried and come looking for me or tell Dimitri what happened when he checked in later. Also, multitude of cushions or not, the ground was hard and my back did not approve.

Rhonda nodded and proceeded to lay out five cards.

I stared at them critically.

"Okay, I said. I honestly have no idea what I'm looking at."

Rhonda, who'd been studying the cards dutifully, laughed, and then pointed to each of the five cards in turn.

"You have: Justice, the six of swords, Judgment, the nine of cups, and the king of swords."

I stared at each card. Only the nine of cups, a pretty happy looking card, was inverted.

"Huh," I said, carefully schooling my face into a calm mask. "And what would you say these cards meant for me?"

"Well," Rhonda, settled into her zone, obviously relishing the act of fortune telling. "Justice often invites the sitter to view a situation from someone else's point of view but it can also mean that the sitter does not have all of the relevant information about a situation." Well that wasn't very helpful. Which situation was the card even referring to? The pregnancy? Marlen? The traitor? Something completely unrelated that I wasn't seeing because I was too caught up in my own personal drama? And not having all the relevant information? I already knew I didn't have that! If I did I wouldn't be so in the dark about everything in my life right now. I scowled at the cards as Rhonda moved on.

"The six of swords," she said, "This means a purposeful journey. It can mean success or leaving troubles behind. Even group secrets taken to a new situation."

"I have no idea what 'group secrets' would be. I don't have any more secrets," I admitted. I certainly had had secrets in the past. A lot of them. But as of right now I was pretty caught up on my truth telling and painful admissions.

"Then maybe it will simply mean success. There are a lot of areas in your life I'm sure you'd wish to succeed at."

That was true enough. I stroked my stomach once more. I'd like to succeed at being a good mother, for one.

"Judgment," she pointed to the third card.

I scowled. "So I'm going to be judged for something," I said bitterly, looking down at my large stomach. Two guesses as to what exactly I'd be judged on.

"Not exactly," she said. "It can also mean that a situation is about to come into new light, or, that a situation is about to take a turn, for the better or worse, however, is unknown."

"Cryptic," I muttered. She ignored me and proceeded once more.

"The nine of cups is generally a happy card. It's often associated with pregnancy so I'm not very surprised that it showed up in your reading. It means success, security, and satisfaction. It shows completion." Would the literal translation of that be that I completed my pregnancy successfully? That would be a comforting thought. "Though we would be wrong to assume the most obvious meaning is the true meaning." Rhonda spoiled my thoughts. "And its inverted…." she trailed off grudgingly.

"So everything is opposite," I said, deadpan. What did that mean? I wouldn't make it to nine months? I wouldn't have success or security?

"Not necessarily opposite. It might just mean that there is a lack of progress in something in your life."

"Lets just move on," I said, feeling myself rapidly approaching the end of my rope. "I don't like that card anymore."

She obliged, pointing to the last card in the set. "The king of swords. It shows a need for leaders. No big surprise there, you are in the middle of everything or so I hear. A true leader." I didn't blush at her words.

"That sound suspiciously good," I said, considering the rest of my cards. "What else does it mean?"

Another shrug. "The king is sometime known for being domineering or inflexible."

I sighed. "That sounds more along the lines of the rest of this reading. I wonder if it's a comment on my own inflexibility or someone else's in my life."

"That I cannot tell you."

"Of course," I murmured. "Because that would actually have been useful." I sighed and took in all of the cards laid out before me. I don't have all the information I need, a journey and group secrets revealed, I was being judged and I would be unsuccessful, and there would be a domineering and inflexible person in my life. The reading sucked. "I always come here looking for answers and every time I leave with more questions," I said, echoing my earlier comment to Ambrose.

"I wish I could construct happy futures," Rhonda said apologetically, "but I can only give hints as to what's already planned out for you. It may not be as bad as it seems though."

"I hope not." I began the laborious process of getting to my feet. Rhonda rushed around the table to help me and I straightened up with a wince, hand going to my lower back as it protested.

I bade her farewell and exited the reading room. Ambrose was waiting for me by the reception desk.

He winced when he saw me. "Reading no good?" he asked sympathetically.

"I don't know," I admitted. "It certainly didn't answer anything."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I was trying to help."

I immediately felt guilty. He had been trying to help and I wasn't being very grateful. He was the first person to genuinely try and help me in a while, for my own sake and not others.

"Thanks for trying," I said. "I appreciate it."

He looked like he was about to say more but my phone, sitting on the desk in front of him, began to ring again. I glanced at it wearily, expecting Sonya again, but I perked up when I saw a different, and very welcome name flash on the screen.

"Its Dimitri," I said, glancing up at Ambrose. His eyes flickered to the clock on the wall and his expression fell.

"I have to get back to work anyway," he said grudgingly. "Will you get home safe?"

"Of course," I assured him. "It was good to see you. Thanks again, for everything."

"Anytime Rose."

I exited the office space and quickly answered my phone. My future may be uncertain but I was eager to hear Dimitri's voice now and know that he'd be by my side through whatever the future threw at us.

* * *

 **A/N: This one was for you Honly. Happy birthday and thanks for reviewing!**


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

36

My heart raced as I took in my surroundings. The dimly shadowed room, the naked fluorescent bulb hanging from a wire above me, the cold concrete floor biting into my sore shoulder and hip. No. No! I couldn't be back here! Dimitri and my mother had saved me, taken me away from my erstwhile prison. How was I back? It was all so real. I could smell the cold metal of the chains biting into my wrists and ankle, feel the way they squeezed on my joints until it felt like my bones were separating.

I tugged and tugged at my fetters, crying out in pain and frustration as they remained solidly in place. How could this be real? It wasn't real. Dimitri had saved me. My friends had come for me.

But it felt so real. Could dreams feel this real?

I looked down at myself. I was curled around the large bulk of my belly, trying to protect it and its inhabitant from our surroundings. The small protection of clothes was long since gone, the tattered remains of my blazer and blouse falling uselessly around me, unable to span my changing girth. The cold press of the concrete floor onto my stomach sent shivers down my spine and I felt the feeble struggles of my son moving away from the hard, cold press on my left side, orienting himself mostly to the right side of my womb. I wanted to cry. I _did_ cry. I couldn't even protect him while he was inside of me. I couldn't give him a comfortable position.

 _Why was I here?_

The room seemed to flicker around me and it took me a minute to realize that the light overhead was sputtering out, the filaments burned up at last.

I willed to live on. I couldn't be trapped here in the dark. The suffocating press of the shadows surrounding me threatened to move closer with each flicker of the light.

"Please don't go, please don't go," I repeated like it was a mantra.

But it did go.

The light sputtered out and I felt my breathing come in shallow gasps.

Not the dark. Isolation and restraints I could and _had_ dealt with before. But the dark? When I couldn't see anything coming?

That was the worst. I couldn't stand being in the dark, both literally and figuratively.

"Why am I here?" I asked myself, panting. "Why? I haven't been here in months! My friends rescued me. They wouldn't leave me here like this!"

"They didn't have a choice," said a cold voice close by.

I shrieked as Marlen spoke to me. I hadn't heard the door open. Hadn't seen anyone come in. Had he been here all along?

His voice was amused. "Did I sneak up on you?" he asked. "I'm very good at that. I let you think you're safe and then I get you when you're most vulnerable."

I glared into the darkness.

"This isn't real," I told him stoutly. "I'm not really here."

"Aren't you?" he asked. "Did you ever really leave this room?"

"Of course I did! I've been back at Court for months!"

"That's not what I asked. Did you ever really leave this room?"

I was confused. I'd answered that question. Of course I had! I'd gone back to Court, graduated college, shared love and excitement with friends and family.

And had the worry and threat of Marlen hanging over me the entire time. I'd physically left this room but had I mentally? Had I been free mentally since Marlen had taken me or had I been hostage to my fears of both him and his partner ever since?

Marlen chuckled. The sound was low and cold.

"We'll see each other soon, Rose," he promised.

* * *

" _Wake up!_ "

I gasped and sat up in bed, narrowly avoiding smacking foreheads with Sonya as I did.

"What?" I gasped, heart pounding furiously. I hadn't seen Sonya since our argument, finally coming back to my empty apartment after hours of meandering around Court grounds. It was a shock to see her now.

She stood beside my bed, hurriedly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Her face was grim.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, all anger and panic over our argument fading in an instant as I realized her reason for being here was serious. Her next words confirmed it.

"There has been an attack."

* * *

Less than an hour later Sonya—clutching a sleepy Mandy—sat in the corner of Hans office in the guardian headquarters. I was wearing a path in the gray carpet as I paced back and forth before the desk. Guardian Stone, Hans second in command, sat behind the desk, talking rapidly into the phone at his ear. Outside the office door the guardian headquarters were a blur of activity as teams of guardians were prepared to leave and help handle the scene of the attack. The scene of the attack being the hotel in Boston that Lissa had been staying at.

When I had spoken to Dimitri last he had mentioned that they were rotating the hotels that Lissa stayed at to make sure that she wasn't in one place too long. The Eliot Hotel, where the attack had taken place, was the one Lissa was staying at her last night in Boston.

And we had no idea if Lissa was there when the attack happened.

Lissa's entourage had been scheduled to leave for the airport around the time of the attack but the weather in Boston had been severe and there had been concern that the flight would be delayed. We hadn't had another check in from the team since that news and therefore didn't know if they'd been present during the attack or not.

And from the sounds of it, the attack had been massive.

We were still receiving reports from the guardians who'd been present. The Eliot was housing over a dozen important Moroi from the conference and there had been an estimated thirty or so Strigoi that attacked during the early hours of dawn. That was part of the reason their attack was so successful, because with the coming dawn the threat of Strigoi had been relatively low—until the day had dawned extremely overcast with no signs of sunlight.

Alchemists were en-route to the hotel now and the guardians who had reported the attack to Court were searching the building for signs of Lissa's party. The humans who worked the front desk were among the victims of the attack so the guardians were trying to navigate the hotel's database to see if Lissa's group had checked out. Meanwhile they were scouring the building for signs of her.

I'd tried calling Lissa, Dimitri and my mother immediately following Sonya's news, dialing frantically as I rushed across Court grounds in the dim morning light. They hadn't answered. Nobody in the party had.

We all tried to reason that there could be another explanation for this lack of communication but none of those excuses eased the knot of pain settled firmly in my chest.

 _They aren't gone_ , I thought to myself. _They are on their way back home and when they get here they'll have a_ damn _good explanation as to why they couldn't answer a fucking phone._

I thought back to my dream when Marlen had said "I let you think you're safe and then I get you when you're most vulnerable."

I looked down at my stomach, glaring. Most vulnerable was right. I couldn't have gone on the trip and even if I had I'd have done nothing but get myself killed trying to help. I was vulnerable and by being so I made those that I loved vulnerable.

I knew Marlen was behind this.

Technically speaking it could be any group of Strigoi who managed to rally together and attack a large congregation of Moroi. The meeting in Boston wasn't exactly a secret. But what were the chances of more than one large group of Strigoi being present in New England and managing a strategic attack on such a large group of guardians?

That many Strigoi together was practically unheard of up until a few years ago and there hadn't been many occurrences of such a group since.

Marlen had rebuilt his army.

"Rose sit down," Sonya said in a quiet, tired voice. "You'll send yourself into labor at this rate."

I paused in my pacing to assess the validity of this statement.

I had one hand pressed to my lower back, trying to assuage the pain there. The other was resting on my sternum where I was steadily applying pressure in an attempt to alleviate the knot of pain nestled behind it.

She had a point and I knew Dr. Gibson would be berating me if she was here now. I moved to the chair beside her, animosity forgotten, and lowered myself into it with a small groan of pain.

"Mikhail still not answering?" I asked her quietly, mindful of the sleeping toddler in her lap. She'd had her phone out at frequent intervals, trying to reach her husband.

She shook her head, lips tight.

"They've been sorting through the damage for over an hour," I said, trying to cheer her up as much as myself. "They would have known if Lissa and the team were there by now."

"It was a mess there," she said, gesturing to the computer on Hans' desk where we'd seen many bloody pictures taken by guardians on sight. Once the Alchemists got there we'd have much more thorough documentation. Until they arrived, however, the guardians were doing their best to find and treat the wounded, catalogue the dead, search for any lingering Strigoi, and fend off the human authorities. The hotel was extremely large. There were any number of rooms that the team could have barricaded Lissa in for her safety.

And as much as I knew they would protect Lissa I also knew that if they were there during the attack Dimitri, my mother and the others would not have stood idle while their comrades were in trouble.

If they had been there they would have fought. And if they had fought and survived they would have contacted us by now. I remembered the images of white marble steps in the grand entrance of the hotel, a waterfall of blood staining them, and shuddered.

 _God please say they weren't there._

Many of the Strigoi had gotten away. They'd attacked in the predawn, taking sleepy humans and guardians alike unaware. It had been a quick hit and then retreat. Guardians had reported numbers, a total of at least forty-three dead, made up of a dozen Strigoi, four Moroi, seven guardians and twenty humans so far.

The attack seemed to be more about scaring and sending a message than targeting our people. Still, four Moroi and seven guardians dead. A dozen Strigoi? Marlen almost certainly had five times that by now.

Guardians flittered in and out of the office over the next few hours, carrying reports. The teams of guardians on standby left, leaving Court seriously low on guardians. Guardian Stone made an executive decision to employ several of the best students in the Moroi combat class, getting their names from me, and posting them along the wards with guardian partners in case this was all a distraction for an attack at Court.

 _They should have been back by now._

I tried not to think about it. It wouldn't do me any good to think like that. I needed facts.

For the first time in years I missed the effects of being shadow kissed. What I wouldn't give to be able to see into Lissa's mind and know that she was okay. To walk outside the wards and call the ghosts to me just to make sure no familiar faces lay among them.

Sonya excused herself for a minute, draping her sleeping toddler over my own lap before she left. I sat there, stroking Mandy's curly brown hair, smiling as I caught hints of her mothers auburn among the strands.

Would my son be like this, such a perfect blend of both his parents? I admired Sonya's striking beauty and would be lying if I said I didn't find Mikhail attractive but seeing the combination of those looks on such a small person brought that beauty to an entirely new level.

I loved Dimitri's soulful brown eyes and heart stopping smile but I somehow knew that if our son had those features they would put his father to shame just as I knew if he had my wicked cool hair mine would pale by comparison. Everything looked better on a child.

I continued stroking the child's curly head, humming softly. Such sweet innocence. I hoped to anyone who was listening that she didn't grow up without a father. She was extremely lucky for a dhampir, having both her parents eagerly participating in her life. Not many of us got that opportunity and I wanted her to experience it all through her formative years. My son, too. If Mikhail and Dimitri didn't come back it wasn't just Sonya and I who would suffer. Sure we would suffer, I couldn't imagine life without Dimitri, but I was an adult and I knew the cost of a guardian's job, just as Sonya did. Our children didn't. All they would know would be the absence of their fathers and the incomprehension of why that had happened.

Sonya returned, a cup of tea in each hand. She set one beside me and retrieved her daughter before settling down, skillfully managing to not scald her daughter in the process.

"I wonder if I'll ever be able to do that," I said with a wry smile.

She returned it. "Practice. I suggest starting with colder drinks first."

I took up my own drink and sipped carefully at it. It did help a bit, at least it gave me something to focus on.

"Rose," she hesitated. "About the other day—"

"Don't," I cut her off. "I'm not mad. I was scared."

"I know," she agreed. "And I didn't mean to do that to you. I don't want to make your child into some sort of experiment. I didn't realize how it would seem when I first asked."

I shrugged. "I understand why you asked and maybe in the future he," I patted my belly and felt an answering kick, "can decide for himself whether he wants to help or not. But I'm not going to make that decision for him." I wrinkled my nose. "Not that I'm against an anti-Strigoi vaccine. I think it's wonderful. But I'm not going to use my son that way."

"Looking at it from a mothers perspective I agree. The scientist in me is the one that argues."

I didn't respond to that, I didn't think it was necessary. I was friends with Sonya and all her perceived aspects but I would fight her scientist-self tooth and nail if I had to in order to protect my son.

Guardian Stone had yet to be off the phone during this entire ordeal but he put whoever he was talking to on his cellphone on hold when the desk phone rang.

"Stone," he answered curtly.

I couldn't hear the other end of the conversation but I saw the immediate effect it had on the harried guardian. He sat up straighter and gripped the phone tighter.

"When?" he demanded. He glanced at the wall clock to compare it to whatever answer he got. "I want them here as soon as they land."

I sat up, tea forgotten as I listened. _As soon as they land?_ As soon as _who_ lands?

He returned the phone to the receiver and I immediately jumped on him.

"What's happening?" I demanded.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow before answering.

"That was the control tower at the tarmac," he said. "They just got radioed for permission to land. It's the queens jet."

* * *

I couldn't have made it across Court grounds and to the private tarmac before the plane landed. Still, it was nearly unbearable to wait as the landing party was immediately escorted to the guardian building.

I resumed my pacing but when the doorway to the office was blocked by a large crowd, I stopped, staring.

"Sparky!" I gasped, throwing myself at Christian before he had a moment to blink. He caught me, surprised, and stumbled. Mikhail, right behind him, braced the Moroi.

"Mikhail!" Sonya screeched, startling her daughter into frightful wakefulness. She began to cry but for once her mother wasn't there to comfort her. She was across the room and in her husbands arms.

"What the hell is going on?" Hans gruff voice demanded as Christian and I were elbowed out of the doorway for the rest of the large group to enter.

Things became very cramped as over a dozen people crammed into the tiny room. I abandoned my hug with Christian as I searched the crowd. The two people was most anxious to see were among the last to enter.

"Liss!" I gasped, drawing her to me in the tightest hug I could manage. "Oh thank God!"

"What's wrong?" she asked, echoing Hans who was already in quiet conversation with Guardian Stone and my mother. Mikhail and Sonya had made their way over to Mandy and were trying to console her quietly.

I didn't answer right away. I'd caught sight of Dimitri.

He looked as wonderful as ever, hair drawn back into a ponytail, duster draped over his long form.

I threw myself at him and he caught me expertly.

"Roza wh—"

I reached up and clasped the back of his head in a firm grip before drawing him down for a fierce kiss.

He tensed in surprise but didn't fight me, instead drawing me closer and kissing me back.

Normally I wouldn't have kissed him quite so long or thoroughly in front of a crowd but I couldn't give a damn at the moment.

"I thought you were dead!" I gasped when I finally released him.

"What?" he demanded. "Why? We didn't run into any trouble."

I stared around the gathering with wide eyes. They hadn't? They were supposed to land hours ago! How had they gotten here so late and managed to miss the attack?

I could see that Hans, my mother and Mikhail had been enlightened of the situation, grim and pale faces set as they spoke with their companions.

"You don't know," I said slowly. "How do you not know? Why don't any of you answer a damn phone?"

"When we got to the tarmac the storm was terrible," Lissa informed me. "A cell tower nearby got struck by lightning and we had no service. We took off as soon as we could but we didn't get radio reception until we were closer to Court. What. Happened?" she demanded of me.

I felt my own face grow pale as I was tasked with informing the group of just how close to death they'd come today. I gripped Dimitri's hand tightly.

"There was an attack at the Eliot Hotel this morning," I informed them. "We thought you were dead."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Many of you are asking how long this story will be. The answer is I'm not 100% sure. I have everything planned out in a timeline but haven't completed every chapter yet. The way its going I'm going to say it will be around 50 chapters but don't hold me to that. I still have a lot of stuff to tie up before you worry about this ending!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.**

* * *

37

"I thought I lost you," I whispered, gently stroking a finger up and down Dimitri's bare chest, reveling in the slight tremors that my touch sent through him. We were curled up on our bed after a long night of debriefing and settling the attack in Boston. It was technically the middle of the vampiric day but we had no intentions of emerging from our apartment until the next day. Dr. Gibson may have restricted me from having sex but there were a few creative workarounds that we'd employed.

"I'm not going anywhere, moya serdtse," he assured me in a low murmur.

"Not by choice," I agreed. "But there's always a risk. When I sat in Hans office waiting for news I couldn't help but realize all of the things that I need your help making decisions about."

"Mmm?" he made a noise of inquiry.

I quietly told him about my conversation with Sonya the first night he'd been gone. We had talked on the phone since then but I hadn't wanted to admit my unwillingness to help create the vaccine.

"I feel terrible," I admitted at last. "Like by doing this I'm trying to prevent world peace or something. But I can't agree and make that choice for him." I hesitated. "Did I do the right thing? What would you want to do about it?"

Dimitri considered for a long moment before responding. "If I could stop even one person from experiencing the life of a Strigoi," he whispered, "I'd do it. But not at the expense of our son." I let out a sigh of relief. He continued. "It is a tough decision to make but I think you made the right call. Aleksey deserves the chance to grow up as normally as possible. If he chooses to do something about it later than it will be his own choice, not ours."

I smiled and nuzzled my nose slightly into the hollow of his throat before looking up at him.

"Aleksey?" I asked. We'd both liked the name a lot but hadn't outwardly made any decisions yet.

Dimitri looked mildly embarrassed and I was surprised by how sexy that was to me. He always seemed so sure and confident that these little moments when I caught him off guard were extra special to me.

"I know we haven't made a final decision yet," he admitted. "But I can't get the name out of my head. Every time I think about him," he brushed his fingertips over my stomach. "Well, it seems to fit."

I was tempted to continue teasing him, just to get more of a reaction out of him, but I decided against it. It was hard to tease him when he was being so honest with me.

"I agree. Sometimes I'll be thinking about him and I'll call him Aleksey without realizing it. I hadn't wanted to make the final decision until we saw him but…" I trailed off.

Dimitri shifted out from under me and moved so that his face was level with my stomach. I was as naked as he was so there was no need to push a t-shirt out of the way. Instead he laid both hands on either side of his son and spoke to him.

"What do you say, malen'kiy chelovek? Would you like to carry the name Aleksey?"

The baby always responded to Dimitri's voice and now was no exception. He gave a strong kick towards Dimitri's left hand. I let out huff of surprise at the strength behind the move and Dimitri laughed.

"I guess that answers that," I agreed.

* * *

"Happy Birthday, comrade," I said, kissing his temple as I came up behind his chair. He gave a pleasant hum of appreciation before turning his head to graze his lips across my own retreating lips.

"Thank you, Roza."

It had been three weeks since the attack in Boston and we'd returned to normal life as much as possible. Dimitri had taken a weekend off of work and we'd finally completed the nursery. I frequently found myself stopping by the room and standing there for a few minutes, just picturing my son sleeping within the beautifully made crib or playing within the four blue walls.

Lissa had been steadily adding stuffed animals and clothes to our already sufficient collection. That, combined with Dimitri's mother and sisters frequently sending everything from outfits to diapers and a stunning hand-knitted blanket from Yeva, had the room bursting with everything a growing boy could possibly need. I sometimes found Dimitri in the room as well, sitting on the rocking chair that I would one day nurse our son in, just taking everything in. At thirty-one weeks into my pregnancy we were prepared to welcome Aleksey soon.

But I kind of hoped that he'd have his own birthday and not share one with his father if for no other reason than because I had plans for Dimitri today and didn't want to spend the day experiencing labor for the first time.

"The big three-zero," I teased, moving to sit in the chair next to him. "What an old man I'm shacking up with." He'd been sitting at the table, reading the newspaper (an extremely domestic activity he insisted on doing every Sunday), and eating toast. I reached over and snagged a piece from his plate.

"Don't tell me the age difference is going to start bothering you _now_ ," he quipped in return. "You've had five years to come to grips with it and, if memory serves, you were the overzealous one in our courtship."

"'Overzealous'" I air quoted, "is a perfect description of my personality and I take no insult at your words."

He laughed and set the paper aside, reaching out to take my free hand in his.

"I'm glad for it," he assured me.

I finished my toast in happy silence. When it was gone I motioned for him to finish up. "Get ready to go, comrade," I said. "I have the day planned out for us." I headed back to the bedroom, pausing at the hallway to turn back to him. "And by the way, Dimitri." I waited for him to turn around and look at me. When he did I gave him my best sultry smile and saw the response in the shift of his body. "You are the goddamn hottest thirty-year-old I've ever seen."

* * *

"You said that?" Lissa giggled madly and I swatted playfully at her arm in response.

"I'm not embarrassed," I defended myself, pushing a stray lock of hair from my eyes. "Its true. He _is_ hot."

She nodded in agreement though I knew she preferred icy blue eyes to deep chocolate brown.

We were meandering through the Court gardens near the church and the dawning summer day was already turning warm. I quickly refastened my hair as we proceeded. Lissa had been itching for some time outside her office and with Dimitri on shift at the gate I'd been more than happy to accompany her when she asked.

While it wasn't unusual for us to get together and wander the grounds, the discreet distance she'd asked the rest of her guardians to follow us at let me know she had something important on her mind and she didn't want many people to know.

I waited patiently for her to tell me, instead regaling her with the highlights of Dimitri's birthday the day before and letting her laugh at my expense. She was wound tightly, stressed from the usual responsibilities and duties of her job plus the added fallout of the Boston attack and the fruitless search for the traitor. But despite that stress, which I was all too familiar with seeing on her face, there was an underlying excitement in the way she moved and watched the world around us.

After an hour of wandering around the empty gardens—with the sun starting to peek over the horizon Court was finally slowing down for the night—I finally sighed and pulled her onto a nearby bench shielded by a trellis with wisteria creeping up it. Her guardians would be able to see her but the majority of our expressions would be masked.

"Alright, spill," I told her once she was settled. "What do you really want to talk about?"

She gave me a wry smile. "Can't keep anything from you, can I?" she asked.

I shrugged. "The fact that you asked me out here to talk in private says you don't want to keep it from me. So…" I gestured for her to start.

Instead of answering right away she reached into the pocket of her slacks and drew out a glittering circlet of silver, topped in an impressively large square cut diamond.

I stared at it, eyes wide for a moment, before letting out an impressed whistle.

"I didn't know Sparky had such good taste in jewelry," I said.

Lissa giggled and slipped it onto her finger, admiring how it sparkled in the morning light. "He really does. Its amazing but…you don't think its too much?" she asked shyly.

I shook my head vehemently. "Its fit for a queen," I assured her. "But more than that, its what Christian wanted you to have. It's not too much. Definitely not."

She shot me a grateful smile.

"How did he ask?" I prompted. "When?" I tried to cover up my sudden and ridiculous serge of jealousy with questions. I had no reason to be jealous. I loved my best friend and I wanted her to be happy, which she obviously was. I already shared her with Christian and her people just as she shared me with Dimitri and soon our son. I didn't think it was jealousy over that because, honestly, though they'd be married and probably considering kids within the next few years, I didn't expect her marriage to change our relationship.

 _Maybe because its not you_ , a devious part of my mind whispered. I hated that part. Dimitri and I weren't going to be forced into a marriage just because I was pregnant. We'd talked about marriage often during our relationship—though I realized belatedly that it had been a largely avoided topic during my pregnancy—and, while not opposed to the idea, I'd been keen on the idea of establishing myself and my reputation before taking his name for good.

What about now? My reputation was firmly established, as a guardian at least.

But our lives were changing enough right now and I didn't need to add marriage to that. I was just hormonal and letting the jealousy get ahead of me. In truth, I'd probably always question a proposal from Dimitri if he did it right now. Would he only ask because of the baby? It was better to just worry about that down the road and be happy for my best friend now.

She gave me a guilty look and mumbled under her breath.

"Excuse me?" I asked, dryly. "I must have misinterpreted that mumble because I could have sworn you just said _in Boston._ " I emphasized the name in mock disgust."Which is ridiculous because that was three weeks ago and there is no way my best friend would keep such a secret from me for so long. _Am I right?"_

The guilty expression only deepened. I sighed. "Liss why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. I wasn't trying to come across as hurt but I was, just a little. I'd always assumed she'd come running to me straight from the proposal, not sit on it for three weeks.

"I wanted to," she said, "and I planned on it when it first happened. But then we got back and found out about the attack…." she trailed off sadly. "I didn't think it was the right time to make the announcement. Everyone was so sad and scared and I didn't want my engagement to be tainted by that."

I understood. In her shoes I wouldn't want to deliver what was supposed to be such good news—highly anticipated news for the older loyalists who thought her live-in boyfriend was a sin of the highest caliber—to be overshadowed or forever linked with such tragedy.

I reached out and pulled her into a crushing hug.

"I'm so happy for you," I whispered into her hair, and knew that, jealously or not, I truly was.

She held onto me tightly for a few more moments before pulling away, sniffling slightly. "Thanks."

"Well," I said, leaning back on the bench and settling in for a long conversation. "When is this thing going to happen…."

We talked for another hour on the bench as she spilled every hope she had for the ceremony, fears over too little or too big of a ceremony, the guest list, when she wanted it and what dress she dreamed of. It was nice to spend some time just talking like old friends who didn't have to worry about the larger world around them.

When the sun climbed its way above the tree line I finally called it quits. Lissa was already beginning to show fatigue from the now direct rays.

We headed back to her living quarters, guardians following at a discrete distance once more. We'd broken free of the gardens and were crossing through a covered breezeway when a flash of silver caught my eye. At first I thought it was the sunlight glinting off of the ring Lissa now proudly wore but I quickly realized it wasn't.

I let out a cry of warning and grabbed Lissa by the back of her blazer, throwing her to the ground just as the knife slashed through the air where she'd been standing. I knocked the downward sweep askew, redirecting it from Lissa's now prone back and to my arm.

I felt the biting sting of the blade connecting with my left arm but ignored it, instead bringing my right arm around to catch the blade as it retreated, red droplets of blood— _my_ _blood_ —arching from it, and grabbed the wielders wrist.

I realized then that the unknown assailant was a Moroi man a littler older than I. There was a split second of stillness as we locked arms and wills, and then I had to make a decision.

He was taller than me but he was Moroi. He was weaker. However, my left arm was substantially weakened by whatever damage his knife had done and my center of gravity was off due to the baby I carried. If I deflected his blow downward he'd either catch Lissa who was struggling to get out of the way, or my own stomach. If I deflected to the side he'd catch me in the throat.

Which really only left one option.

The whole attack had taken less than three seconds to reach this point. Daniel and Alistair, Lissa's trailing guards, were rushing up the breezeway at top speed but they would be too late to stop the motion I already felt building in my opponents muscles.

And in that split second I made a decision.

It was this Moroi's life or my own.

I forced the knife wielding hand down and under. The Moroi was caught by surprise at this motion and didn't put up a defense as the knife slipped under his ribs and into his chest.

I let go of him and he dropped just as the cavalry arrived.

* * *

"How the hell did this happen?" Dimitri demanded of Alistair and Daniel as soon as he entered the infirmary, a blur of angry Russian and guardian black and white.

While Lissa had been quick to heal the sizable stab wound on my upper bicep we'd both been rushed to the infirmary to be checked out for further damage. Someone had sent for Dimitri at his post at the gates and it had taken him all of fifteen minutes to get to the infirmary.

And he was livid.

He stalked up to my cot and quickly caught hold of my chin, turning my head from side to side in his rapid assessment of my health.

"Comrade, relax," I said in my best attempt to be soothing while my cheeks were squished together between his large fingers. "I'm fine, Lissa's fine. Everything is okay."

"And do you realize how lucky that is?" he demanded, dropping his hold on my face. He pointed to the blood that had dried down my arm. "Six inches to the right and you'd be dead." His face was a mask of rage but beneath that I could see the truth. He was scared. He'd been told there was an attack and he'd immediately thought the worst. A lot had been happening to me lately to put me in the infirmary but I was fully aware that each time I ended up here it put Dimitri though similar pains.

"I didn't say it couldn't have ended badly," I reasoned, trying to lighten the mood as he continued his inspection, reaching out to shift my body this way and that in order to inspect all angles. "Only that it didn't." I was very lucky indeed that it had ended as well as it had, though I was upset that the Moroi man had died. Not that I was overly sympathetic for his cause or life choices but I'd have liked to talk to him. I'd like to ask him why he opposed Lissa so much when she did so much good. I'd ask him why he thought violence was the answer. And above all I'd ask him why he had taken such a risk when his faction was already obviously making plans for Lissa's demise.

I shared my thoughts as the rest of Lissa's guardian detail arrived with Hans in tow. "What I am more concerned with is why the Moroi dissidents decided to attack Lissa in person when we all know they've got other plans in the works with Marlen."

"Maybe not all of the dissidents consult each other," Alistair proposed, leaving his perch near the door to come stand by Lissa as a new team member took his place. "There is likely more than one group out there, though I'd expect them to be aware of each other in such a small place as Court."

"Maybe all the rebels do know each other," Daniel suggested, also relinquishing his position to another team member as he accompanied my mother to my side. She immediately joined Dimitri in his careful inspection as Daniel continued. "But maybe Lord Ivashkov hasn't shared his plans with others. I'm sure even extremists have limits."

"Do we even know who the Moroi was?" Lissa asked, directing her question to Hans. "Did he have connections to known nonconformists? Connections to Lord Ivashkov in particular?"

"His name was Raoul Jennings," Hans informed us, looking thoroughly harassed. His job was a tough one but nobody could deny that his workload had increased significantly over the past several months. "A member of the Drozdov family on his mothers side. He lives outside Milwaukee and stands to lose his guardians under the queens new proposal for guardian allotment. He arrived at Court three days ago but he visits frequently. He has a second home here."

"He's shown up around the gym a few times," Christians voice startled me. Dimitri and my mom had finally concluded their appraisal of me and settled on either side of my cot. I'd been fixated on Hans' words and Dimitri's warm hand on my thigh and hadn't noticed him enter the room. He was sweaty and wearing his workout shorts so I knew he'd been at the gym when news of the attack reached him. Christian walked swiftly to Lissa's side and kissed her before continuing. "He makes a nuisance of himself a few times a month, rambling about lowering ourselves to doing servant labor and dirtying our blood but he's never been violent. Until now." His face darkened severely as he glanced back at Lissa's dishevel appearance. "If I'd known he was capable of this I'd have set his ass on fire long ago."

Lissa reached out and clasped his wrist in light admonition.

"The question now is, where do we go from here?" Lissa's soft question rang through the room.

"We're at a dead end," I admitted somewhat bitterly. "All our leads have turned up nothing and we have nothing new to go on." I ran a hand over the swell of my stomach, both taking comfort in the large curve and worrying about it. It wouldn't be too long now until the baby was here and I didn't want my son coming into the middle of this mess.

"We retrace our steps," Dimitri said, reaching out to still my hand as it made a third circuit over my belly. "Start over and see what we missed."

"Then were do we start?" my mother asked.

"We question the one person we know is against Lissa and was in guardian building when this all started."


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

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38

"What's this?" my mother asked Lissa as she entered the room accompanied by none other than James Wakefield. I had to admit to some of my own confusion at his presence. While he'd become a permanent fixture in Lissa and Sonya's life over the past month or so he rarely accompanied her places, more often just meeting in her office for lessons or ambling around Court on his own.

"Are you babysitting?" I asked her. "Wasn't it Sonya's day?" That was a bit snippy on my part and I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth but I couldn't help them. I was irate. My back hurt, my bladder was going to explode and I'd been staring through the one way glass at Lord Ivashkov with his perfect suit and 'not a care in the world' demeanor for the past five minutes. Dimitri made a cautionary noise at my tone and I glared at him over my shoulder. Both he and my mother would be interviewing Lord Ivashkov in a few minutes. We'd just been waiting on Lissa to arrive.

"Today is Mommy Sonya's day per the custody agreement," James agreed glibly, "but seeing as she's out of town my other mother gets the pleasure of my company for the day."

I glared at him while Lissa scoffed. James Wakefield had turned out to have a sharp tongue and endless witticisms that rivaled my own once he'd gotten comfortable around us notorious folk. I kind of wished it had stayed hidden.

"Mommy Sonya should have taken you with her. Or put you in daycare," I snapped.

"That's what you're here for!" he smirked. "Besides, you gotta learn about those rebellious teenage years at some point." He pointed to my stomach. "That's a ticking time bomb."

"If I'd whelped you I would have drowned you," I said, deadpan.

"Rose!" Both Dimitri and Lissa admonished me sharply while, to my surprise, my mother suppressed a smile.

"Hormones," James said sagely, obviously unperturbed. "She doesn't really mean it. She just can't stop the verbal vomit, right Rose?"

I stared at him, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

Never mind that his words were entirely correct. Could he read me that easily?

"That's why I'm here," he offered up.

And then it clicked.

"Get out of my head you little shit!" I made a grab for him but he danced easily out of my way as my larger bulk got in the way. "He can read minds?" I demanded of Lissa, appalled.

She nodded. "We figured it out a few weeks ago," she said. "I remembered what you told me about Oksana and what I felt during that fight with Avery." We both couldn't help but shudder at that reminder. "We've been working on it ever since. He's having some issues controlling it so he hasn't been hanging out with many people lately but I thought we could use that to our advantage with him." Lissa pointed to Lord Ivashkov through the window.

Well, that _could_ be useful. But it was also a huge invasion of privacy. I remembered the invasive brush of minds when Oksana read me and didn't want this snippy Wakefield anywhere near my own private thoughts.

"That could be very useful," Dimitri mused behind me.

I screwed up my face in consternation. "Just point your satellites that way, not at me," I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest and turning away from him. My head was crowded enough with my own thoughts, I didn't need him rattling around in there too.

A few more words were traded before Dimitri and my mother left us in the observation room, door swinging shut deftly behind them. A few moments later the door to the interrogation room opened and they filed in, a wall of guardian austerity, to sit before Lord Ivashkov.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?" drawled the obviously bored royal. He leaned back in his metal chair and unfastened the button of his jacket, making himself comfortable.

My mother spoke. "There was an attempted assassination of the queen last night," she said in a clipped tone, face giving nothing away.

"Is that supposed to be a question?" Adrian's father demanded.

"Well you don't seem surprised," she noted.

He gave my mother a dry look. "This is Court, Guardian Hathaway. I realize you've spent a great deal of your life in the wilds of Nepal with that disreputable excuse for a Szelsky but around here news travels fast."

"And what are your views on this latest attempt on Her Majesty's life?" Dimitri asked. He could have been asking about the weather in that tone.

"That it obviously wasn't a good one," he responded.

My mother raised an eyebrow. "Do you wish it had been better? Perhaps you think you could have done better."

Nathan Ivashkov exhaled sharply and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. He began to undo his cufflinks.

"I've told you before that I hold no love for the idealistic girl. She has no idea what she's doing. She wears a fancy hat and sits on a big chair but that alone doesn't make you a ruler. She meddles with traditions she ought to leave alone. But do I want her dead? No. And I certainly wouldn't lift a finger to do it myself."

"Are you saying you'd have someone else do it for you?" Dimitri probed.

"I'm saying that while I detest the new political influence from on high I have neither the skills nor the inclination to do her in physically. Political and social sabotage? That I could do. With ease. But I have refrained to this point. I do not like the new policies being implemented however I am not fool enough to think that any other leader would do exactly as I want given the chance. And the last election was rather taxing and personally costly if you do recall. I'd rather not experience another so soon."

"Why are you so against Her Majesty's rule?" my mother asked, ignoring his long winded response.

He glared at her. "She breaks from tradition, need there be more reason? This society has existed for hundreds upon hundreds of years and she decides that she should be the one to change it? I make no effort to hide my displeasure, Guardians. There are royal families for a reason. Historically we have given the most to this society and been entrusted with its rule. And now she wants to give more power to the commoners? To those with no connections of importance and who don't know how to lead? She wants to give guardians to less influential people and leave those of us who earn them unguarded? I have many objections with her choices."

His face had become rather red during his speech and a vein thundered dangerously at his temple.

"You seem very passionate about this, Lord Ivashkov," Dimitri noted. "It may be important to note that you're business has taken you away from Court grounds more frequently as of late. Perhaps cultivating these connections you say royals are so good at. Are you sure that you wouldn't wish to see harm come to Her Majesty?"

"Yes," my mother agreed before he could respond. "As I seem to recall, the queens new proposal for guardian disbursement may take away some of your personal guardians. How do you feel about that? Not well, I'd assume, considering you approached Guardian Welles concerning a bid for a _third_ guardian."

"That proposal is a farce and I have every belief that the Council will reject the preposterous notion! The royal lines have always reserved the right for more protection as we are targeted by Strigoi. They care not for common blood."

"Really?" Dimitri inflected surprise in his voice. "If that were true then why do all of the records of Strigoi attacks paint a different picture? Because, according to our records and those of the Alchemists, only thirteen percent of Strigoi victims are royal Moroi. Twenty-three percent are non-royal's, thirty percent are dhampirs and thirty-four percent are humans. In that respect, I do think you are even less popular than you believe."

I stifled a laugh of my own. Less popular indeed and Dimitri's tone made it clear that he wasn't only speaking about Strigoi food preferences.

"So the question remains, Lord Ivashkov," my mother put in, "in a scenario where your blood is less at risk than even humans why do you believe you merit a third guardian?"

A red flush crept from his collar and up his neck. A white ring appeared around his lips as he fought his impulses.

"My reasons are my own and not under the scrutiny of this pathetic Court," he hissed. "My business is legitimate."

"We wouldn't doubt the legitimacy of your business, Lord Ivashkov, particularly not with all of your _connections_. In fact, it is those connections we are most interested in," my mother said sardonically. She pulled an envelope—one that she had carried into the room with her and to this point not referenced—towards her and removed a single sheet of paper. "We have been in contact with the Alchemists. They are so good at keeping records, as I'm sure you know." My mothers allusion towards his ex-Alchemist daughter in law might as well of hit on deaf ears for the reaction he showed. He'd long sense disowned Adrian and severed any connections to Sydney. "The records I am referencing, are those of your travels for the past year. You have spent a great deal of time in the St. Paul airport in Minnesota."

She left the statement hang for a moment as the royal's eyes flickered between the two guardians nervously. In comparison, the dhampirs were stalwart in appearance.

"And what is this gross invasion of privacy supposed to suggest?" he raged. "I have many business dealings and St. Paul is a large city. I take many flights through that airport. It proves nothing."

Movement caught the corner of my eye and I glanced over at James Wakefield for the first time since the interview started. His brow had furrowed in concentration.

"He's hiding something," he murmured. "He isn't thinking about it right now and I can't quite dig for it yet but as soon as St. Paul came up his defenses flared. Something about that place has him worried." He hesitated as he studied the man closely. "No. Worried isn't the right word. Whatever it is he's eager for it. Anticipates something. I can't get much from him but I can tell it's about a person and not just business."

Anticipation? Over a person? Marlen?

"Do we have any record of Marlen in the St. Paul area?" I asked Lissa, still watching the scene in the room as my mother and Dimitri needled Nathan Ivashkov further but to no effect.

My hand drifted without consent to my pant pocket where a crinkle of paper alerted me to the message kept there.

I'd received another note from Marlen this morning, slipped under my apartment door. I'd picked it up and shoved it in my pocket before Dimitri saw it. It wouldn't do him any good to see it. It was another in a long line of messages we'd received over the weeks. Its message was only seven words. Seven small words that separate meant nothing, but together sent chills down my spine: _You're not safe. We're coming for you._

We as in who? Marlen and Nathan? Marlen and his army?

"No direct links," Lissa answered me. "St. Paul is a fairly popular Strigoi haunt. If Marlen was active in the area it could be obscured by other activity. I'm not saying he wasn't there," she said quickly. "Just that we can't be sure."

I sighed as Dimitri and my mom rose from the table and headed out of the room.

"And as slimy and sneaky as this man is we can't prove he has done anything." I glanced at Wakefield. His face was screwed up in concentration and I could practically see steam coming out of his ears. I felt a flash of sympathy for the boy but I was too far invested in our little spat to show it. "Can't you get anything else from him?" I asked.

He spared me a quick glance. "I'm kind of new at this," he grunted. "It doesn't always work when I want it to."

"You can't control it?" I demanded seeing a new list of potential problems on the horizon. How could this kid be around people without being able to filter out thoughts? He could be useful—or dangerous—to have near the Council. And around Lissa? Damn he could know all the Moroi secrets inside a day.

"He has amazing control considering the time he's spent working on it," Lissa defended. "Its all about practice and learning control. He has a way to go yet but he'll get there."

A new thought popped into my head. No wonder Wakefield had been pretty solitary in his time here if he couldn't control his power. How would he survive at school?

He scoffed, obviously catching that thread of my thoughts. I glared at him.

Lissa knew where my thoughts were, too, not because she read my mind but because she knew it as well as her own.

"He'll be remaining at Court for this school year," she informed me. "While he learns to control his abilities. Sonya and I will be here to help him and he'll have tutors for regular academy curriculum."

"So if you can't control it so well yet what can you do with it?" I demanded snidely.

He didn't rise to the occasion like I'd expected him to. Instead he sighed and explained in a rather diplomatic voice.

"I catch snippets of thoughts. Sometimes just emotions or memories of emotions. With Lord Ivashkov he thought of St. Paul and while I couldn't pull out exact information I could sense memories of anticipation, worry, maybe some fear but definitely excitement. Whatever is there scares but excites him."

"But you could read me," I pointed out.

He shook his head. "I walked into the room and caught your thoughts. I'm not very good at telling who those thoughts come from yet, but I'm starting to hear them. I just knew by the context of the thoughts that they were yours."

"It's a start," Lissa cut in, "and it gave us something we didn't have before."

"What's that?" my mother asked as the door to the observation room swung open and she and Dimitri re-entered. "Because I'm not so sure he gave us anything useful in there, aside from a obvious dislike for you and your politics—which we already knew."

"You were on to something about St. Paul," Lissa informed them.

"He met someone there that's important to him."

"But he was pretty adamant about not wanting Lissa dead," James put in.

"Wouldn't anyone about to be caught arranging a monarchs death deny it?" Dimitri asked.

Wakefield looked uncertain. "I suppose. But I'm not sure that's what I felt from him."

"You just said so yourself that you're not one hundred percent accurate yet," I supplied, moving to Dimitri's side and leaning into his comforting warmth.

He shrugged. "True. But I'm not sold."

"So our next step is to find out about St. Paul," my mother interrupted. "Find out who he's meeting there, how they met, and why he keeps going back."

"And how are we going to do that?" Lissa asked.

My mind was whirling with the turn of events and the complication of getting Nathan Ivashkov to cooperate. That in and of itself was unlikely so the next step would be to go there and figure it out for ourselves.

And that's when I knew what we had to do.

James, still unable to keep his pesky powers off my brain, laughed at my sudden idea. "Brilliant," he chortled.

Our three companions looked between the two of us, curious.

"What has you two agreeing?" demanded Lissa.

"I think," I said slowly, "that its time Lord Ivashkov got his third guardian."


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

39

"…rash of disappearances and murders in both Harrisburg and Allentown, which had been showing a decline in violent crimes up until the last few months…."

Dimitri hit the mute button on the late night news broadcast I'd been watching. I glanced over my shoulder to see him set the remote down on the side table and walk towards the kitchen, shoulders tense.

"You know he's probably hunting in Philadelphia too," I said quietly. Unlike the other cities mentioned Philadelphia would be an easy place for Marlen to hide his feeding and recruitment. I'd been keeping track of news stories ever since my rescue and I'd seen the steady increase in disappearances and deaths. I'd recognized the signs of a large Strigoi presence. Marlen was rebuilding his army.

"I know," he said through a set jaw. Dimitri, I knew, took it as a personal offense that Marlen was still at large despite the fact that he'd had no way of stopping him during my rescue. Marlen hadn't been there when he'd come. Still, for his offenses against me and his new victims, Dimitri felt responsible. He hadn't killed Marlen back in Russia like he'd tried to.

"He's getting sloppy," I offered up, fighting down my own qualms of disgust. "He's leaving a trail. Soon we'll be able to narrow down where he is. We already have the local guardians and Alchemists working on it and—"

"I know," Dimitri repeated, harder. I clamped my jaw shut. I just wanted to make him feel better. I hated that Marlen was still at large. I didn't feel safe when each note he sent me brought back memories of my kidnapping in a rush of panicked emotions and the phantom feel of iron-clad restraints around wrists and ankle. I certainly didn't feel safe with him alive but I also didn't feel guilty. I had been in no position to end him and I hated that Dimitri felt the need to shoulder that burden himself.

"We'll get him," I soothed, leaving my nest of pillows and blankets on the couch to come up behind him. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, fisted hands planted firmly on the granite countertop as he leaned over it. I reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing the full length of my body against him. It was a well-worn tactic that usually worked in my favor. I'd been adopting this position throughout our relationship when he felt helpless or world-weary. As expected, he relaxed into my hold, muscles unclenching one by one as I tried to work the tension from him merely by proximity and promise of understanding. My stomach pressed into the small of his back and I knew he could feel the soft movements of our son as sure as I felt them myself.

"YA prosto Khochu, chtoby vy byli v bezopasnosti. Vy oba," he sighed softly, turning around to gather me up in his arms. _I would just see you safe. Both of you._

"You always make me feel safe," I assured him in my own terribly accented Russian. He chuckled into the top of my head, planting a kiss among the dark strands of hair.

We stayed in each others arms for a few more lingering moments before breaking apart and scrambling to get ready for the day. Lissa had an open Council meeting today and both Dimitri and I wanted to be there when the shit hit the fan. During Lissa's four year stint on the throne she'd done her best to make as many Council meetings open to the public as possible, trying to show her people that they had a voice in the politics that governed them. They'd also caused me more than a few gray hairs, always a matter of contention and quick to elevate to extremes.

On the agenda for todays meeting were many boring conversations about budget cuts and healthcare. And the guardian reallocation proposal. The Council had had two meetings about that particular topic before and today it was being brought to the public forum. Everyone already knew about it but this would be the first time to really make their voices heard.

I was expecting a lot of shouting and threats.

Dimitri donned his guardian attire and I my most formal maternity shirt—one that still did nothing to hide the shear enormity of my thirty-four, almost thirty-five, week belly—and we headed for the Council meeting.

"Has Guardian Barrett reported on Lord Ivashkov's movements yet?" I asked Dimitri as we walked.

Soon after Nathan Ivashkov's interrogation we'd managed to push through his request for a third guardian. The guardian assigned to him was a freshly graduated man from Alder Academy, one that Dimitri and Christian had met during their extended stay there a few months past. While he'd been assigned to Lord Ivashkov Barrett's real assignment was to take note of all Ivashkov's business dealings and report back to Guardian Headquarters after each business trip.

Ivashkov's latest trip had lasted over two weeks and they'd returned to Court late last night.

Dimitri shook his head at my question. "No," he said. "Han's main focus has been this meeting. He's expecting a lot of trouble. He's scheduled Barrett to come in tomorrow evening when Lord Ivashkov's other guardians are on duty." Feeling a little bit like James Bond, we'd agreed that secrecy was the best tactic here. Very few people knew about Barrett's real purpose in Ivashkov's service—none of which were his original two guardians. The only people who knew the whole truth were those of us present in the observation room the day I'd come up with the plan, Hans and Barrett himself.

"I wonder what he'll have to say," I pondered though, in truth, I didn't think it would be anything necessarily useful to us at present. I had to believe that, had the new blooded guardian caught a whiff of an alliance between his temporary charge and a Strigoi, he would not have waited for an appointment to bring it to light. While any information on Ivashkov's secrecy could only help us I didn't think it would solve our problems just yet.

"Nothing complementary, I'm sure," was all Dimitri had time to say before the crowd for the council meeting swallowed us.

* * *

I sat near the back of the courtroom, trying to be unobtrusive while maintaining constant visual contact with Lissa. She looked regal and wholly in her element as she sat perched in the large, regal chair, ankles crossed primly beneath her pinstriped power suit. I heard a few murmurs of admiration from her supporters within the crowd, primarily young non-royals like it had been during her election. They looked at her and saw a powerful beacon of change. I was probably one of three people in the room who could really see her anxiety. Yes, she put on an amazing front of contentment and I knew that she really did belong up on that chair, but despite all of that I could see the slight twitch of her eyebrow and the set of her shoulders that wound tighter as more and more people filed into the room.

I caught her eye and did my best to convey my support. I hoped she was able to read my customary message of 'I'll kick any ass you want me to' that usually accompanied these types of events. She gave the barest nod of acknowledgement and then shifted her gaze to another key figure in the crowd. A few rows ahead of me and placed neatly in the middle of the room, was James Wakefield. His presence had been Sonya's idea. After returning from her little family vacation and hearing of her prodigy's success during the interrogation she'd thought to put his skills to use here as well. While he'd gotten no better at honing his abilities and focusing on one person in particular she was hoping he could be used as a type of net in the room to gage the situation and perhaps pick up on any major threats. Lissa objected wholeheartedly, insisting that her people were entitled to their own thoughts and, while I had to agree that such an invasion of privacy was terrible, I was much more willing to live with those repercussions than the potential death of my best friend and charge. Besides, the boy was so scattered with his abilities that the only thoughts he'd probably be able to pin down here would be—much to my chagrin—my own. As if reading my thoughts—most likely he _was_ reading them—James turned slightly in the pew-like benches and twiddled his fingers at me in a mock wave.

I glared him down into submission and he slinked back into a forward facing position.

"I now call this Council meeting to order," the Court herald's voice boomed from the front of the room where he stood before the Council seats. "Her Majesty, Queen Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Dragomir presiding."

The courtroom settled down, the general consensus being that people wanted to hear what she had to say in order to fuel their arguments.

I think Lissa's tactic was to bore the audience to death so they wouldn't be around to argue when she got to the good stuff. That, or, she was hoping that people would zone out and miss the good parts.

That's nearly what happened to me. As the Council droned on about this policy and that I couldn't help but let my mind wander. I started to focus on my son moving within the confines of my womb, tapping messages to him and imagining that his pattering response was Mores Code or some equivalent method of communication.

I was just starting to teach him some inappropriate phrases that would have his father scolding me when the uproar started.

Lissa had moved onto the topic everyone was there for—the guardian reallocation—and had been fielding questions from the crowd up to this point. The polite hand raising and turn-taking had finally broken off, multiple people jumping to their feet as they argued whatever point had just been raised.

"…always been!" a man in a deceptively simple white button up shirt was saying. That shirt probably cost more than my entire maternity wardrobe.

"Yes but that doesn't mean that's how it needs to stay," argued a woman in thrifty jeans.

"Why change what has worked for years?" demanded the first speakers companion, a woman whose auburn hair was pulled up into a flawless ponytail that had me a little envious.

"Because it _isn't_ working!" yet another voice from behind me called. "This is the same argument we've been having for years! Strigoi numbers are on the rise, guardians are on the decline, and what precious few we have are wasted on Court socialites who rarely leave the wards! It's the working class that suffers!"

"I thought that's what you liberals had your combat magic for," sniffed the first speaker in disdain. "We let you have that one. Train yourselves if you will but don't force your decisions to impact those of us who have done nothing to deserve it."

"Exactly!" crowed the voice in the back. "You've done nothing to deserve anything! You have not earned your guardians you were merely given them as a birthright!"

"It is our right nonetheless!"

Ugh. Why had I wanted to come to this meeting? Though I thought the non-royal side of the conflict had a better argument that was my biased opinion. It was also the same argument we'd been hearing for years in most of the heavier changes Lissa proposed. I sought out my friend in the rancor and saw her slightly annoyed expression as she tried to act as an unbiased observer.

There was so much hot air being blown around in the room that it was a wonder it didn't take off like a hot air balloon.

And then it got interesting.

"You talk about birth right and royal's being united but obviously they aren't!" exclaimed a new voice in the row in front of me. "The queen was born of the same birthright and yet she fights for us because she sees through the propaganda to the truth!"

"The queen can say whatever she wants!" snapped the woman with the awesome ponytail. "She's _queen_ and will never be without an entire fleet of guardians! She doesn't have to practice what she preaches!"

I jumped to my feet at that, ready to defend Lissa's honor.

But I was completely unnecessary as about half the room surged to their feet in defense of their queen. The roaring rebuttal to that last statement was intense as Lissa's supporters listed many of the attributes that made Lissa such a great queen. I could see the glow of pride start to warm her features as her people stood up in her defense. I could also see the guardians start to shift formation as they readied for the signal to break the gathering up. Obviously, nothing would be decided today, but still the argument was important.

When I was sure at last that Lissa's honor was in no need of my personal defense I settled back down, easing my way awkwardly onto the uncomfortable wooden pew.

Unfortunately, my movement caught someone's attention and another of Lissa's 'crowning achievements' was shouted above the din.

"It's not just politics that she uses to help us! She uses her magic too!" The speaker was the woman in the row before me, the one who had argued that Lissa was proposing something that would take away her own birthright. I had liked her argument up until this point. Now I wished we could have thrown her out of the room before this point. She continued her thought, voice projected in such a way that it was easily distinguishable among the noise. "She has used her magic to heal our injured and sick! She has revolutionized our world by learning to Restore Strigoi! And now she has given us the hope for more guardians!"

To my extreme embarrassment she flung up an arm wildly and pointed directly to me. I tried—unsuccessfully—to make myself invisible. When I still remained wholly visible a few seconds later I felt my body tense up in preparation for the onslaught that was brewing.

And then it came.

"You actually believe that farce?" someone shouted from across the room. "It was a lie spun to increase her popularity! A ploy to stir up public support."

"It's true!" another person defended me. "We've seen the miracles Her Majesty can wield! Why couldn't this be true too?"

"There's no proof yet! Chances are that she's just a lying whore! I'm sure you'll all remember those rumors a few years back. She has quite a reputation—"

I was on my feet once more, slinging an insult back at my anonymous assailant before I completely registered the action.

"Get your mind out of the gutter and your head out of your ass you pompous freak!" I snarled, blood pumping furiously through my veins and fists clenched tightly at my side. "The queen doesn't lie to you and my business is my own."

"How can you claim that it is only your business when you try to use your circumstance to promote her popularity?" slung another hothead.

"We never used Rose as a ploy," the cool and unmistakably powerful voice came from the front of the room. The arguments cut off momentarily in deference to their queen.

Lissa was standing at the edge of the platform, staring down at the crowd in her freaky way of making everyone in the room feel singled out.

"Rose's circumstances are her own business and the only reason anyone here feels the need to comment on it is because we are entirely unhappy with our own lives and feel the need to gossip and slander others for the sake of our own amusement." I rarely saw Lissa in a temper and it was a sight to be seen. These people were figuring that out for themselves.

"But she's trying to change the way we think—" someone attempted. She silenced them with a look.

"She isn't attempting to change anything. The fact remains that things have changed and while it is definitely an unexpected and not entirely unpleasant change it, for the moment, belongs to her and those closet to her. When and if we are able to discover more about this new spirit ability we will not keep it from the people. Until then I request that you leave Guardian Hathaway and her family out of this argument. We are here to discuss the reallocation of guardian forces and we have deviated into a popularity contest. That was not the intention of this open Council. Until everyone can come to this discussion with logical and factual arguments and concerns I see no use in dragging it out. This session is over." Lissa presided over the entire courtroom and made the audience feel like a thoroughly scolded class of unruly kids.

The courtroom started draining as the masses slunk away, proverbial tails tucked between their legs. As the crowd thinned I was able to see that Dimitri had broken rank and was standing in the aisle by my seat. I knew even without asking that he'd been there since the first insult had been slung in my direction. I didn't move to meet him. Instead I felt like all of the energy had been drained out of me by the stares and accusations. I dropped back onto the bench, one hand on my stomach, the other rubbing at the knot in my lower back where all my tension had seemed to ball up in a vice.

"Are you okay, Rose?" Sonya asked, approaching me as the last few people filed out of the room, casting frankly curious glances at us over their shoulders. James Wakefield trailed behind her like a puppy, obviously shaken up by what he'd witnessed today. I have her a nod before turning to give James a weak smile.

"So," I said, trying to give him my best saucy smile, which felt weak and watery even to me. "How'd you like your first glimpse into the world of politics?"

He shrugged and gave me a look that said he appreciated my effort, no matter how flat it fell. "Well," he said, "I finally understand why people call politics 'cutthroat'."

Dimitri had come to stand behind me and he brought his hands to my shoulders, gently kneading at the tight muscles, trying to help relieve the tension.

I groaned in approval but wished his efforts would drop lower to the pain still stabbing in my lower back.

We were virtually alone in the room now as Lissa, Christian and my mother abandoned their positions to come join us.

"That went well," Christian commented as he came within easy hearing range.

Lissa thwacked him in the stomach before turning a guilty eye on me. "I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I had no idea it would all spin so out of control. They had no right to start talking about you like that."

"They say that and more behind closed doors and in open courtyards." It was true. I'd heard my fair share of the rumors and I'd even been confronted a time or ten. I knew Dimitri fought the same battles. But I'd never seen it like this before, mixed in with the mob mentality. That experience had shaken me more than I wanted to admit. I still couldn't bring my blood pressure back down even minutes after the fact.

"Relax, Roza," Dimitri whispered in my ear. I knew he could feel my pulse thrumming rapidly at my throat. His hands moved down my arms to wrap more securely around me. "It's over now."

I wanted to believe him but at that moment I knew it wasn't true. I felt a hot rush of liquid suddenly gush between my legs and came to an abrupt and startling realization. The fire in my back suddenly took on a new meaning.

"Uh, no its not, comrade," I said, my voice sounding surprisingly calm as opposed to the sudden uproar in my mind. "My water just broke."


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

40

"Would you please stop staring at me?" I gasped out, doing my best to glare at my best friend while ignoring the surprisingly painful contracting of muscles in my abdomen.

"Sorry," she capitulated, turning instead to look at the fetal monitor over my shoulder. It beeped reassuringly, if a little faster than normal, as the baby felt the stresses of his abrupt and early eviction from his current home.

Early.

Too early. Thirty-four, almost thirty-five, weeks was too early. Dr. Gibson assured me that many babies were born at this stage and ended up perfectly healthy. Dhampirs, especially with our hearty nature, did exceedingly well with early births. Still, I struggled with the mixed desire to cross my legs and force my son to stay in a while longer and the absolute need for the pain to end and to have my body back to myself again.

I winced as another contraction washed over me, an insufferable vice grip around my midsection like a metal band being ratcheted tighter and tighter with no reprieve. It was going to tighten and tighten until my skin could no longer contain me and I'd burst. I guessed that was sort of the purpose of contractions but I still didn't like them. It wasn't just the baby that felt like it would come out, it was every bit of me, like I was struggling to keep the rest of me together as well. My breathing hitched as my lungs struggled to inflate. Dimitri reached out and rested what I'm sure was meant to be a comforting hand on my shoulder but I couldn't stand to be touched at the moment, my skin already felt alive with nerves and the extra sensation was too much. I slapped his hand away with a warning to never touch me again. It came out sounding more like a snarling, caged animal.

Just when I thought I could take the tightening sensation no longer, it relaxed, releasing all of its pressure in an instant.

I took in a great gulp of air, savoring the sensation. I would never take advantage of luxurious ability to breathe again.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into the pillow beneath me as I regained my senses. "I didn't mean to snap at you two."

"It's alright, moya lyubov'," Dimitri cooed, carefully not touching me but instead offering up ice chips, the only thing the doctor was allowing me to consume at present. Not that I thought I could stomach anything else.

I'd been in this damn hospital bed for six hours by this point. I'd previously been under the illusion that labor would go quickly, especially after the suddenness of its onslaught. I hadn't been expecting to give birth today—and it was honestly looking like I would, in fact, be giving birth tomorrow—and so it only felt right that everything should have rushed so quickly. I'd watched a lot of romantic comedies lately and they all assured me that labor was quick and painful.

They'd been right about one thing at least.

I winced as another contraction hit, though, blessedly less intense than its predecessor.

I wasn't ready for this. Yes, Dimitri and I had prepared as much as possible in the physical sense for the arrival of our son, his room was complete and all of his perceivable needs already attended to, but I wasn't sure I was emotionally or mentally prepared. I'd hoped for a few more weeks alone with Dimitri, a few weeks to settle all of the uncertainty around us. I hadn't wanted my son born into the same world as Marlen. But it didn't look like I had much of a say in the matter.

When I'd been brought into the infirmary by a worried Lissa and a no-less-worried-but-better-at-hiding-it Dimitri, Dr. Gibson had—after assuring me that everything was progressing nicely—scolded me for putting myself into a high stress situation like the Council meeting. I'd received the full unabridged version of the 'I told you that you had pre-eclempsia and not to stress yourself out, what did you expect to happen' speech from her.

She was right, unfortunately, but it had seemed like a good—or at least, not bad—decision at the time. After the attack on my personal character and the ensuing pain of labor I was willing to retract that initial assumption.

"Shit," I hissed through yet another contraction. "Distract me," I commanded of my companions. "What happened after the meeting?"

Not that they would know too much. Lissa had left my side for barely an hour since it had happened, Dimitri not at all. But Christian and other advisors had been coming and going, whispering to her in a corner of the room.

"Not much," Lissa said. "Everyone's gossiping about the proposal and the arguments made, of course, but nothing outrageous. Some people are impressed that I called them out, others mad that I'm treating them like school children." She scoffed at the last part.

"They acted like it," I assured her. "You were badass. I'm proud."

"Thanks," she gave me a wry smile. "But nobody knows you went into labor. At least, nobody that we didn't inform."

We'd informed a few people. My mother was currently at guardian headquarters settling the last bit of work associated with the Council. After escorting me here and learning that it would be some time before the baby came, she'd felt comfortable in handling her work. She'd assured me she'd be back later. And that she'd call my father to let him know. I wasn't sure I wanted Zemy here for a touching meet your grandson moment just yet.

Dimitri, likewise, had called his family from my bedside. Back before the contractions had started coming in earnest I'd been able to take the phone and accept their well wishes and promises to speak after we'd greeted our son. Sonya had also initially come to the infirmary but, feeling like it should be a closer family affair, graciously excused herself forcing Lissa to keep her updated on my progress.

I knew the waiting room would be full when the time came and I appreciated the number of people who were wishing us well. I was also very glad they wouldn't be in this tiny room with me when I completely abandoned any sense of self-worth and screamed and swore and pushed a baby out of my body. I was already secretly planning on using some of my coveted Russian swear words for the cause. Vika had taught me a few as a parting gift and I intended to use them to damn Dimitri to hell for his part in my pain.

But I didn't want to focus on that just now.

"What about James?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Did he pick up anything during the meeting?" His initial presence at the meeting had been temporarily forgotten in the rush of events.

Lissa almost hesitated to answer and I latched onto that. "What?" I demanded. "What did he find out?"

Lissa shrugged. "There was a lot of scorn for me and my politics floating around but that's nothing surprising or new. And nothing outright hostile. There was also a lot of anger towards you and Dimitri, though mostly because of your role with spirit than for any personal reasons."

"So nothing useful," I sighed, finally giving in and letting Dimitri touch me. He gently kneaded the knots in my lower back and I let out a small sigh of relief, however temporary.

"Well," she hesitated again and I glared at her. She exhaled in a strong gust. "He did catch onto something but he doesn't know who it was from," she admitted. "He caught Marlen's name—"

"Was it from me?" I demanded, refusing to get hopeful over what might be nothing. "I'm sure his name passed through my mind during the meeting."

"No," she admitted. "He can tell when he's catching your thoughts because he's had so much practice lately."

I growled. "I'm going to wear a fucking tinfoil hat around him."

Lissa giggled but it was tense. "How is he sure it wasn't from one of us," Dimitri asked. His hands had stilled on my back as he latched onto the hope of news. "He may be able to tell Rose from the rest but there were a handful of us in the crowd who know all the details."

"That's the point," Lissa admitted. "The thoughts he heard…well it's not exact and James is still learning—"

"Cut the crap," I snapped. "What did he hear?"

"Someone in the room was thinking that they might actually get more support from the angry mob then they did from the Strigoi," Lissa whispered with a wince and I knew how painful the news was to her. It was one thing to speculate and take the word of a Strigoi, it was another to have absolute confirmation that one of the people she fought for was willing to sell her out to Strigoi. "The thoughts were frustrated. The person they came from was angry that they had gotten nowhere with Marlen's supposed help."

My breath left me in a rush and it had nothing to do with contractions.

"So the traitor was at the Council meeting," I confirmed, needing to hear it in such absolute terms from my companions too.

"Yes," Dimitri agreed, voice hard. "It would appear so. Who else knows?"

"Janine," Lissa admitted. "She and Sonya took James to the guardian headquarters to inform Hans. They're already working on a list of everyone who attended."

"It was public," I pointed out. "I didn't see a sign in sheet."

"No," Lissa agreed. "But they're pulling security footage. It will take a while but they'll make a list of everyone who attended."

"Was Lord Ivashkov there?" I asked, suddenly unable to recall if I'd seen Adrian's father in the melee.

"Yes," Dimitri informed me. He'd reached out to grip my hand by now and the pressure he was using led me to believe that he was more worked up about the news than his voice was letting on. I knew he wanted to be involved in every step of uncovering the traitor. But he also wanted to be here with me.

"Will they keep us updated?" I asked Lissa. "I want to know everything they do."

Lissa nodded. "Of course. But for now you need to focus on yourself. I'm going to have Dr. Gibson come and check you again. These contractions are getting really close together."

* * *

"YA raskroya tebe shariki dlya etogo Dimitri!" I screeched as I doubled over in pain, one hand gripping the chair rail on the wall, the other his hand. Dimitri reared back in surprise, eyes widening as he realized what I'd said.

"Who taught you to talk like that?" he demanded, squeezing my hand in return as I doubtlessly cut off the circulation to his fingertips.

"Don't change the subject," I gasped. "You're lucky that this will be our only kid because I swear if there was even a chance of this happening again I'd never let you touch me!"

"It was Vika, wasn't it?" he continued, unperturbed by my threats. "She'd find it hilarious."

"There is nothing _hilarious_ about this situation. Why the hell did your mother or Karolina choose to do this more than once?" I started grumbling unsavory comments about their plausible masochistic nature under my breath.

"Vesti sebya," he chided me. Behave. "They did it because they found the result worth the pain, as I'm sure you will. We both will," he added, glancing thoughtfully down at his purpling hand.

"That remains to be seen," I groaned, trying to straighten up once more and resume my walking. After twelve hours of labor Dr. Gibson had suggested walking to encourage my labor to progress. I'd felt it was pretty far progressed seeing as my contractions were pretty much consistent but she'd said I was still only half way there. She didn't say it, but I also knew that she was getting concerned by the delay between the onset of my labor and its inevitable conclusion. She was coming in more frequently now and spending a longer period of time studying the fetal monitor.

Determined to wipe the worry from her face and my own mind I'd set to the task of walking my baby right out of me with near reckless abandon.

Or, as close to that as I could considering my constant pacing was interrupted every few minutes by a contraction so crippling I was forced to hunch over and focus on breathing.

"What?" Dimitri teased. "You don't think he will be worth it?"

He was trying to keep the mood light. I knew he was as worried as I was, the natural fear compounded by the doctors obvious concerns, but he was doing his best to keep my mind off of it.

"I'm sure he will be," I answered after another pause for breath. "I'm just doubting that your mom or sister would ever have agreed to more kids if the father of said kids was as much of a giant as you are! This kid is going to kill me!"

"Well," he scoffed, "my mother, did, as a point of fact, give birth to me. And they say the original is much more effective than a copy."

I then suggested a few things about his mother that would have had poor Olena blushing. Dimitri was caught somewhere between amusement and offense, sputtering out what might have been a laugh or a reprimand.

"I shudder to believe that any daughter of mine even knows the existence of such preferences," came an unmistakable and—at the moment—unwelcome voice from the doorway.

I turned my glare on my father as he entered the room, my own mother blushing at his side. She'd obviously heard my comments.

"You'd better watch what you say Zemy or you'll learn just how much I know," I warned him.

"Rose just prides herself in accumulating knowledge for jokes and insults," Dimitri assured Abe. "I'm sure the only reason she even paid attention to history lessons about the Soviet Union was to use them against me."

"I've learned a lot of things in order to hold it against you," I informed him unpleasantly. "Right now I'm learning how unpleasant the entire business of childbirth is and trust me, I'll hold that against you for the rest of your miserable life."

He actually looked mildly concerned about that prospect. Good.

"Why don't you two go get some air?" my mother suggested to the men. "Dimitri, I'm sure there are a few things that you guys will need from home. Why don't you go get them now before you risk missing anything?" She stepped past my father and to my side, indicating she'd take over Dimitri's position.

Dimitri, after casting a worried glance my way and receiving a nod of approval, consented and left the room with my father.

Mom took up my newly released hand and escorted me on another circuit around the room. We completed two such rotations before she spoke.

"You know, when I was in labor with you it took seventeen hours between my first contraction and my water even breaking."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"And after that?" I asked. "How long after your water broke?"

She shrugged. "About two more hours."

She'd endured nineteen hours of labor for me. I hated to think that I wasn't as strong as she was but twelve hours were already hell on me.

"How bad is it?" I asked quietly. "That my water broke so long ago?"

"Not bad," my mother assured me in as soothing a tone as she'd ever taken with me. "My doctor at the time told me it could be more than a day before you came. She just didn't know how impatient you were. None of us knew at the time." She chuckled at that.

"Yeah well this kid must have Dimitri's patients because he's not coming," I groaned and stopped walking once more.

I'll give my mother credit, she was pretty good at playing the patient and wizened mother.

Our pacing resumed and we said little for some time.

"My doctor is worried," I said quietly at last, fighting down the qualm of uneasiness at the admission. "She hasn't said anything but I can see it on her face."

My mom chose her words carefully. "I think she's worried because there are so many unknowns. Nobody know quite what to expect and if we just try to expect the normal we could miss something important." She paused to think for a moment before continuing. "I don't think that this is different from any other dhampir birth. You're a little early and that's some concern, as is your blood pressure, but I'm sure things will be fine. You're strong and so is he."

I took comfort in her reassurances, especially because she wasn't trying to sugar coat everything. She was admitting to the possibility of something going wrong. There was always that chance.

"Well," I sighed. "He's got some kickass grandparents and kickass parents if I do say so myself."

She laughed. "He does at that."

We said no more, just walked and walked. Dimitri and Abe finally returned, a small bag slung over Dimitri's shoulder. I returned to my bed and we all settled in for the wait. Lissa appeared an hour later and joined us. My father was just setting up a pool on when we all thought the baby would come when Dr. Gibson arrived and wanted to check my progress.

"You're nearly there, Rose," she said, a certain tone of relief tingeing her voice when she spoke. She helped straighten up my blankets and tossed her glove in the trash before continuing. "You're nine centimeters dilated and fully thinned out. I expect that you'll feel the need to push at any time. I'll get the nurses ready." She smiled and clapped a hand on my knee. "This is it, you'll meet your little boy soon."

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri didn't know what was scarier, the rapidly approaching responsibility of parenthood or the threats to his manhood that Rose was making. He stood at her side, letting her squeeze the life out of his hand as she bore down, teeth grit sharply against the pain. She swore vividly in Russian and he didn't even feel the need to chastise his sister for enabling her. With what Rose was enduring at his expense he was willing to grant her this small concession.

The doctor was speaking to him, telling him that the head was visible. Rose screamed and he felt like he was in the middle of a maelstrom, being pulled in all directions, wanting nothing more than to comfort Rose and take away her pain, wanting to dart to the doctors side and watch as his son entered the world. And a small part of him wanted to run, to leave the terrifying and miraculous scene in the small hospital room, to not witness any of his lovers pain. He felt ashamed of that small part of himself. It was cowardly to want to leave, even if it was because he couldn't stand the sight of Rose in pain. She had no choice but to stay here and face it.

Lissa and Janine were the only other two people Rose had allowed to stay in the room, and they crowded at her other side, holding her other hand and whispering words of encouragement. He felt in need of encouragement himself.

He was so eager to meet their son and compare all of his similarities to his mother and himself, to see what was uniquely his. And yet, at the brink of this becoming a reality he could not stop the doubts and worries that had plagued him since he'd learned of Roses pregnancy. What if he wasn't a good father? What if growing up first with an entirely unsuitable role model and then none at all doomed him in his own prospects as a father? What if he wasn't the partner that Rose needed in this journey? What if. What if, what if, what if…they swirled around in his mind, dizzying and surreal until Rose broke through.

She screeched, a sound entirely new and startling, before falling back against her pillows, exhausted.

And then the doctor was lifting a small, bloody and squalling form and placing it on Roses chest. She presented Dimitri with a pair of shining scissors and in that moment the whirlwind inside him stilled, like the eye of a storm, and all Dimitri knew was the reality of his son.


	41. Chapter 41

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

41

Dimitri and I leaned our heads together, cooing gently over the small, mewling form of life clutched to my chest. The last twenty hours had been a whirlwind of fear, pain and doubt but lying here together, pressed close against each other on the hospital bed as we stared at the result of all those emotions, I felt calm and sure at last.

"He's perfect," I breathed, running a careful finger down the arch of his nose, exactly the same slope as his fathers. Everything had happened so quickly after he was finally born. Dimitri had cut the umbilical cord and then Dr. Gibson had whisked him away, clearing his airway and checking him for any problems associated with his early birth. He'd been put in a warming chamber with an oxygen mask for a few hours and we hadn't been able to hold him until now, several hours later, when he had been completely cleared by Dr. Gibson. "Robust" and "fit" were among the words she'd used to describe him as she handed over the small body at last. "Dhampir" was another word.

Small was one of the first words I thought. Five pounds no ounces and nineteen inches long. Small, robust, fit and absolutely perfect. Our friends and my parents had all stayed long enough to fawn over him and congratulate us before clearing out and giving us the family time we so desperately wanted.

And I couldn't stop staring at him. I didn't want to miss a single detail, from the dark fuzz of hair covering his head in a cap—a color identical to my own—to the shape of his eyes and the length of his lashes. He looked like Dimitri. I'd read somewhere in my pregnancy research that babies often looked like their fathers, a way of reassuring said man that it was his offspring and something to be protected. The part of me that was still interested in animal behavior and biology found that pretty interesting. The maternal side of me was just overwhelmed with love at seeing the reflections of the man I loved in my child.

"Absolyutno krasivyy." Dimitri whispered. _Absolutely beautiful._

I could only agree.

"He has your nose," I whispered, running my finger over the bridge of said nose again, watching in fascination as the sleeping child's features twitched in response, nose wrinkling slightly—a response I recognized as my own. "And the shape of your eyes," I traced those too, watching the eyes flick back and forth beneath the lavender shaded eyelids. "And definitely your lips." I was very familiar with Dimitri's lips and I recognized our sons for what they were—a perfect replica of his fathers. The strong curve of lower lip, the slightly fuller upper lip. So many similarities recognizable at a glance. I wondered what other similarities would become apparent as he grew and developed his own personality.

"But he has your hair," Dimitri assured me. "And your ears," he reached out to gently trace the curve of his ears. "And the set of your jaw."

"He's perfect," I repeated, tightening my grip on the warm, swaddled form of our son. "Perfect, beautiful, amazing Aleksey."

* * *

"You didn't decide to go with Mason?" Lissa asked me as she fawned over her godson, currently cradled in her arms. She had returned at the dawn of the new Moroi day, determined to come and properly meet Aleksey at last after waiting on pins and needles throughout the night. I'd appreciated the distance though, finding that the time spent with just Dimitri and our son had been critical for grounding me in my new reality of parenthood. I could feel my life and priorities shifting as if they were a physical presence, my actions, thoughts and intentions all moving to center on Aleksey and his welfare.

"I thought about it," I admitted to my best friend. I was sitting on my hospital bed, picking idly at the Jell-O that had been provided with my breakfast. Dimitri had gone home to shower though I knew that he was just being generous and letting me have my time with Lissa. I had no doubt that he would have been glued to our son's side if he didn't take others into consideration. I was debating the possibility of my own shower while Lissa babysat but decided against it. While I was feeling nominally recovered from the ordeal of childbirth I didn't want to press my luck and face-plant on wet tiles, further delaying my return home. "I loved Mason and would love to commemorate him in some way but it didn't feel right." I shrugged. "I'll just leave that honor for Eddie whenever he and Jill start popping out kids."

Lissa mock glared at me. "I hope they wait a while for that."

I rolled my eyes at her but otherwise ignored that comment. "I feel like that would kind of be like me naming him Andre when that choice should belong to you." Not that I'd ever considered naming my son after Andre at all. Dimitri and I had debated over Aleksey's full name for some time, running through the choices. Should we name him after Dimitri? My friend Mason? Or maybe Dimitri's first charge and lifelong friend, Ivan? We'd settled against all those choices, deciding at last that our son was entirely his own person and deserved to have an original name. Why set him up to be compared with his namesake when he was bound to forge his own path in life? Thus we had settled at last on the name Aleksey Kolya Belikov.

"We'll see how I feel about that when the time comes," she said dismissively. I knew that Lissa still had mixed feelings about her brother after all she'd learned about him and her father. The male proclivity in her family to cheat and womanize still stung her and she probably didn't want to risk perpetuating that tendency in her own sons by naming them after such men. But they'd also been her family and she'd loved them.

That was a conversation for another time, though.

"Nobody's going to look at this baby and doubt that he's a full-blooded Belikov," Lissa said, still studying Aleksey's sleeping form with a keen eye.

"Are they already picketing outside the infirmary and demanding a blood test?" I asked, setting aside my barely touched Jell-O. The thought of public opinion hanging as a raincloud over my otherwise spectacular day put me off my breakfast.

"Not picketing, really," Lissa said in a falsely casual tone. "But words out that you had your baby and there are more than a few interested spectators loitering about for when you leave."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste but decided to not comment. I wanted Lissa to have the ability to banish them from the area and let me be in peace but I knew she couldn't, not without facing accusations of oppressing rights and protecting my lies. "I hope they all get sunburn," I said meanly, instead.

She laughed. "It would serve them right. But ignore them for now. Just focus on this handsome little devil." She handed said little devil back to me and I took him gratefully. I ached without him, like the hauntings of a phantom limb, still felt but decidedly missing. I was more than happy to have the light weight and warmth of him pressed against me once more.

"I should go," Lissa said, regret palpable in her voice. "I still have to smooth things over after the Council meeting." She stood and brushed imaginary wrinkles out of her smart, pale gray suit. "We're holding an open discussion tomorrow but the final vote is going to be private."

"And how are things looking in the Council?" I asked, pulling my attention away from my baby with a marked effort. I raised an eyebrow at Lissa in question.

She shrugged. "Drozdov, Selzky, Voda, and Ozera are on board with it. That puts us up to six with my vote. Ivashkov, Lazar and Taurus are completely against it but the others are on the fence. I _think_ I can convince Zeklos and maybe Badica to agree. We'll see what happens at the discussion."

I sighed, wishing I could be there to help. But, if the open Council meeting was any indication, my presence would only excite things and divert attention from the true matter at hand. Still, I wished I could be there to protect her.

"My mom will be there, right?" I asked.

At Lissa's confirmation I let out a breath of relief. If Dimitri and I couldn't be there, my mother was the next best thing.

"Come tell me about it after," I requested in parting. She agreed and left, with a last kiss to both Aleksey's forehead and my own.

* * *

"…and your aunt Sonya and Babuska." I stirred, coming slowly out of sleep to catch the tail end of Dimitri's conversation. I pulled myself further from my sleep and cracked an eyelid to see Dimitri, phone in hand, angling the camera so that whoever was on the screen was visible to our bleary-eyed newborn. Aleksey was bundled tightly and laying in the medical cradle at the foot of my bed, the overhead warming lights shining down on him and highlighting the luster of his hair and the slightly tanned tone of his skin, which had been revealed as the redness of birth had worn off. His flawless baby soft skin was the same color as my own.

The amount of squeals and Russian baby talk would have alerted me to the callers identity if his introductions hadn't.

" _Oh Dimka,"_ Olena's voice broke through the cacophony, a loud array of noises that had Aleksey's eyes widen in surprise as he stared uncomprehendingly at his extended family half-way around the world. "He's absolutely _beautiful_!"

"Yes, mama, he is," Dimitri agreed, pride evident in his voice. He moved the phone and clicked the screen, no doubt flipping the camera so they could still see our son as he spoke to them. "I cannot wait for you all to meet him."

"Soon," Olena promised. "We are thinking of coming for Thanksgiving. It is almost two months away but by then Paul will have a break from school and he is so eager to meet little Aleksey."

It sounded perfect to me. I was eager for them to meet the newest Belikov too but I also couldn't help but look forward to the next two months of getting to know my son without having to share him with even more people.

"We'll look forward to it." He glanced up and caught sight of me awake. He smiled broadly in my direction. "Roza is awake, mama. I'll talk to you later."

He hung up amid the calls of goodbye and set the phone—mine, I realized, I must have missed the ringing during my nap—aside. He reached a hand into the cradle and stroked our bundled son while looking at me.

"How are you?" he asked.

I was pretty exhausted. My body felt oddly deflated and still shuddered occasionally from the aftershocks of labor, my stomach in turns knotted and weak, and a throbbing existed between my legs that as of yet made it impossible to sit completely upright.

"Amazing," I answered, my eyes flickering between him and our son who, in the absence of excess noise, had promptly gone back to sleep. "I can't wait to take him home."

"Doctor Gibson came by while you were sleeping," he informed me. "She said you'll be good to go tomorrow but wants to keep Aleksey another day, just to keep an eye on him."

I screwed my face up in disapproval. "I'm not going anywhere without him." I had no intentions of leaving my sons side for some time. With people loitering around outside waiting for us to make an appearance the last thing I was going to do was walk home empty handed and show them that my son laid unprotected inside the infirmary walls. Hell no.

"I told her as much," Dimitri agreed. "She said that you can stay as long as he's here, though she'd give you the option to leave."

"Why does he have to stay?" I demanded. "She said he was healthy."

"Because he was early," Dimitri was acting fairly calm all things considered. I expected him to be just as defensive as I was over Aleksey. I felt guilty a moment later as I realized he was, he'd just had time to process the doctors orders already. "Dhampir babies are pretty resilient, more so than a human baby and therefore he's already much better than any human baby would be at this point. But he's still small. She wants to keep him under the warmer lights a little longer. Just a precaution. She says his vitals are all good. And she wants to make sure he's nursing well before he goes."

I'd attempted to nurse Aleksey two times so far. The first time he'd shown no interest, the second time he'd been a bit more amiable to the idea but hadn't been latching well, something I was given to understand was common in such an early birth.

"And if he doesn't?" I demanded, affronted that his reason for being held here could be partially my fault. It was my job to feed him afterall.

"He will," Dimitri assured me soothingly, reaching out his unoccupied hand to rest gently on one of my legs. "Just give him time." I nodded reluctantly.

We both lapsed into silence as we watched the cradles sleeping occupant, a silence that only broke a few minutes later when my phone rang.

I grabbed the offending device off the table where Dimitri had put it, annoyed that someone was interrupting us, but worried that it might be Lissa and an issue with the Council.

"Hello?" I answered on the third ring.

Whatever I'd been expecting, it wasn't what I got.

"Hello Rose," Marlen drawled. I froze, eyes widening as icy panic shot down my spine. For a moment I was back in my cold cement cell, metal cuffs cutting painfully into my wrists and ankles as I prayed silently and uselessly for a rescue I couldn't expect to come.

"Marlen," I choked and Dimitri, who'd been watching my reaction with a worried eye, shot out of his chair immediately, shock and fury taking over his face like a thundercloud in the middle of a monsoon.

Marlen chuckled. "I hear congratulations are in order," he said, "for a healthy baby boy."


	42. Chapter 42

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

42

 _Marlen chuckled. "I hear congratulations are in order," he said, "for a healthy baby boy."_

"What's his name now?" Marlen continued, obviously enjoying his moment of surprise. "Oh yes, Aleksey. Such a strong, traditional name. His father must be proud."

My throat was inexplicably dry and I swallowed twice before I could make any sound. When I was capable of words once more, they were harsh.

"If you or your _informant_ raise a finger towards my son I swear to God and whoever else may be listening that I will gut you and tie your entrails into pretty bows while you watch," I snarled into the phone, gripping it so tightly that the edges bit into my palm. The pain helped me focus.

Dimitri, pale with fury, had his phone out already calling Hans or whatever other reinforcements he thought necessary. Marlen chuckled. "Such hostility for a new mother. Tell me, Rose, do you kiss your son with such a mouth? Hold him with hands that promise so much violence?"

"A mother would do anything for her child," I assured him coldly. My jaw was starting to ache from the pressure I was putting on my teeth. I wanted to reach through my phone and throttle the man who had tortured me, threatened my sons' existence before he was even born and continued to do so now that he was new to the world. I had wasted many sleepless nights on this horrible excuse for a (somewhat) living being and I wasn't about to let him rob me of any more time with my son.

"Oh I believe that," he agreed. "I'm just not so sure you'll have the chance."

I glanced at Dimitri who was whispering furiously into his phone, eyes glued to my face. He motioned for me to keep Marlen talking. I swallowed hard and rose to the bait.

"And why not?" I demanded.

"Because I'm closer than you think," he said glibly. "I'm everywhere you look and nowhere you expect. Just remember that as you celebrate the happiest day of your life. And congratulations, he has his fathers eyes."

The line went dead.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri hadn't thought that anything could bring him down from the elation of being a new father. He was overwhelmingly happy about everything, from the multiple attributes that his son shared with him to his dream of Aleksey having his mother's hair. He couldn't get rid of the smile permanently etched into his face or the feeling of absolute and unfathomable love constricting his heart each time he saw Rose holding their son or the softening of her dynamic eyes. Those eyes had seen so much in her short life and he knew they could snap with intelligence, harden with hatred and fill with love when she looked at him but he'd never seen those beautiful eyes soften so completely as they did when she looked at Aleksey.

So he was immediately alerted to the turn of events when she picked up the phone and the soft look instantly crystalized into loathing, pure and uncontained.

"Marlen," she said and Dimitri was instantly on his feet.

In the space of a second he processed his options. He knew the call would be short and he should alert any number of people of what was happening: Hans, Janine, Lissa, _Abe_. He dialed none of those numbers.

"Hello?" Sydney answered on the second ring, alert and ready. Dimitri had already told Sydney and Adrian about Aleksey's birth and it was uncommon for them to speak more than once in as many days. "Is the baby alright?"

"Are you near a computer?" Dimitri demanded, ignoring the question. The baby in question was sleeping peacefully in his incubator, unaware of the threat whispering in his mothers ear.

"Yes I'm at work but—" Dimitri cut her off.

"I need you to tap into Rose's phone records and trace the number calling her. Now."

"Marlen?" she asked, but he could already hear the furious clicking of a keyboard in the background as she didn't wait for an answer.

"He's on the phone with her right now," Dimitri admitted, eyes locked on Rose as her face flickered with a number of emotions in rapid succession. His heart hurt at the sight. She had nightmares about her time with Marlen though she didn't speak about it often. She tried to leave the experience in her past thought it left physical and emotional marks on her.

"Keep him on the line," Sydney commanded. "I'm tracing it now but it will take a few minutes."

"You don't have that long," he said, though he motioned for Rose to keep Marlen talking. Dimitri saw Rose begin to pale and knew that the conversation was about to end. "What do you have so far?"

"Calling from an unregistered cellphone in South Pennsylvania. I can't quite pin it down yet. Give mew a few more…"

"He's gone," Rose said quietly, lowering the phone at last.

"Damn," Sydney's curse was followed by a crashing noise in the background and her retort to someone nearby. "What are you looking at? I just lost my work."

Dimitri went to Rose's side, perching on the edge of the bed and resting a hand on her shoulder.

"What did he have to say?" Dimitri asked her as he heard the clicking resume on Sydney's end.

She took in a rattling breath. "The usual, I suppose," she exhaled. "He knew his name, Dimitri." She stared up at him with wide, scared eyes. "He knew Aleksey's name. And that he has your eyes. _How did he know_?"

Dimitri bit back his own string of curses.

"He's always one step ahead," he admitted bitterly, focusing on the phone once more. "Sydney, did you get anything else?"

"I pinned it down to a fifty mile radius," she admitted. "The call pinged off of four different cell towers but the call itself could have originated from any of the three large cities and their surrounding areas."

"Can we trace the number?" he asked.

"Like I said, it's was unregistered. But I can run the number and see where it was purchased. That might give us a place to start."

"Let me know what you get," he said. "And thank you."

He dropped his phone back into his pocket and let out his own shuddering breath.

"We can never have just one day, can we?" Rose asked him sadly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Not until Marlen's out of the picture," he agreed.

* * *

"Welcome home, little one," I said as Dimitri held open the apartment door and I brought Aleksey into his home for the first time.

It had been two days since Marlen's phone call; I'd been released from the hospital the day before but Dr. Gibson had insisted on keeping Aleksey longer. I'd stayed by his side despite my discharge and after Dr. Gibson was confident in our ability to work together to get Aleksey nursing adequately she'd allowed him to go home at last.

"It may not seem like much right now but its filled with so much love," I continued, as I walked slowly through the rooms, giving him the grand tour. I wasn't feeling too confident in myself at the moment. I'd gotten through the past several months on biological instinct so far, my body doing most of the work for me without me having conscious thought of it. Aleksey survived as long as I took care of myself. Now? Well now even carrying him was different. I'd carried him for eight months and yet holding him in my arms was a completely different and terrifying experience. What if I dropped him? Held him too tight? What if I put him down somewhere and forgot where? I'd never had to worry about where I left him before; he'd always come along with me.

I felt Dimitri's hand come to rest on my waist and I realized I'd paused, standing in the doorway of the nursery for longer than necessary.

"Everything will be alright, Roza," he whispered, pressing his lips against my temple. "We will get used to life now. It will become second nature."

"Does that mean that I have to spend the next few months walking on eggshells, unsure of myself?" I asked, a little breathlessly. "I'm not used to this," I admitted, staring down at the sleeping baby in my arms. He, at least, seemed completely at ease with the situation. "I'm usually pretty confident."

"You've never had someone so completely dependent on you," he soothed me.

"I'm a guardian," I pointed out. "That's actually my entire job."

He chuckled. "To an extent. But being a guardian is about looking for danger in a dangerous situation. Being a parent is looking for danger in any situation, no matter how ordinary."

"I just don't want to screw this up."

With a sigh Dimitri began coaxing me forward into the room. He stopped us at the crib and disentangled his arm from my waist before gently taking Aleksey from my arms. Only once he had lowered him to the mattress, did he pull me from the room.

"I know it's scary," he said, once we were in the hallway and the door to the nursery was partially closed. "But we can do this. We have each other and we have him." He reached up and cupped my face between his hands. "That's all we need."

And he leaned down to kiss me.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri fought against the very unprofessional urge to yawn as he stood pinrod straight against the wall of the Council room. Aleksey had been home for three weeks and the nighttime struggle of having a newborn was making itself apparent. Dimitri was exhausted between nighttime feedings and diaper changes. Add to that a dhampirs natural inclination to daylight hours and trying to acclimate a baby—even one that was as mellow and content as Aleksey—to their nocturnal schedule was proving to be a challenge. Aleksey had a tendency to sleep longer during the Moroi day and less during the Moroi night. Not that Dimitri blamed him, he would rather be awake to enjoy sunlight as well. And in truth Dimitri knew he could never be mad at his son. Not now when lack of sleep was suddenly taking its toll on him, not in five years when he caught him drawing on the apartment walls in sharpie or in fifteen years when he was getting in trouble at an academy like Rose so often had. He could be nothing but proud and in awe of the life he and Rose had created. Dimitri filled every moment of his time off work attending to his son in any way he could. His cellphone was already loaded with photos of him, including the several Rose texted him during each shift.

That was another thing to be in awe of. Rose. He'd known during their entire relationship that she'd never seen herself as the maternal type. She'd been good enough with children but was always eager to send them on their way to their parents and escape that responsibility. She'd been good with his nieces and nephew whenever she saw them, and to Mandy, but he'd known that the idea of motherhood scared her. Often during her pregnancy he'd caught the wariness in her eyes.

But all her worrying had been for nothing. Despite her self proclaimed worries the first night they brought Aleksey home she'd taken to motherhood with a finess that Dimitri envied. She was still her sarcastic, witty and downright stubborn self but the second the baby cried or the second she laid eyes on him she melted. Dimitri hadn't realized he could love her any more than he had before their son was born but his love for her—for the both of them—grew stronger with each passing day and sleepless night.

Dimitri felt his phone buzz in his pocket and had to restrain himself from reaching for it, eager to see the latest photo of his son. He couldn't of course. Not only was he on duty but it was more than just gate duty or border patrol. He was one of a dozen guardians present at the latest Council meeting, lining the wall as another impartial observer, unable to put in a word in the Moroi politics unfolding before him.

"...just saying we can't pull all guardians from active duty immediately," the Drozdov representative was saying. "We'll need to wait until we have new graduates and can rearrange the current setup."

Three days after Aleksey was born the Council had voted to approve Lissa's guardian reallocation proposal. After word had gotten out that Dimitri and Rose's son looked just like his alleged father support for Lissa had skyrocketed and put pressure on the Council to vote in her favor.

"I agree," Lissa was saying. "When the new guardians graduate we'll begin the process. As of right now we'll reevaluate all current guardian placements. Guardian preferences will be taken into consideration. I am well aware that Moroi and their guardians forge relationships. Any guardians wishing to remain in their current posts will be allowed to do so. Moroi currently assigned guardians that live most of their time outside of wards will also keep their guardians. I'm not taking away guardians already in place—unless those guardians have children or dependents and would best serve in safer locations. We are implementing a new system starting now."

Dimitri could feel the approval radiating off of the guardians in the room, all focused on Lissa's every word despite their impassive looks. If support for Lissa had improved among the Moroi since Aleksey's birth, her approval among the guardians—already strong—soared above any expectations. Dimitri was often met with congratulatory handshakes and slaps on the back when he stopped by the gym or headquarters, the women—and even some of the men—begging to see pictures which he proudly showed off.

He and Rose had taken Aleksey out around Court a handful of times, wanting to show that they were not hiding anything or ashamed, but at the same time not wanting to risk a newborn among the chilly autumn weather and the risk of social uprising. There had been an argument or two that had broken out in their wake. Mostly they left their apartment to go to Lissa's or Sonya's, sometimes even a quick stop at the cafe. Most controversy over Aleksey's paternity was put to rest as soon as people caught sight of him. While there were a few skeptics and naysayers the general consensus was—to Dimitri's immense pleasure— that Aleksey was the spitting image of his father. He got an especially strong thrill each time he caught sight of his son and recognized his features for the same ones Dimitri caught in the mirror each morning. He absolutely loved that Aleksey had seemed to inherit his mothers coloring but could not hide his pleasure at having his son look so much like him. Male pride at its finest, Rose would tease.

And all he wanted to do was to go home to them. The Council meeting dragged on for ages as the Moroi debated every aspect of the new system, designing the selection process for guardians and Moroi as well as the matching criteria. When all was said and done Dimitri thought that the new system was impressive and he could see the pride on Lissa's face as she adjourned the meeting at last.

Once all of the Moroi had left the room and Lissa was escorted to her office by her guardian detail Dimitri relaxed and pealed himself away from the wall, eager to finally head home to the two loves of his life.

* * *

Every inch of me was exhausted. I hadn't slept more than two hours straight in the month that Aleksey had been home and I found it difficult to keep my eyes open at any given moment. That being said, my body still couldn't resist the squalling cry of my infant son.

My eyelids pealed away from my dry, scratchy eyes slowly, reluctantly. I was in my bed, face buried in my pillow, the position fairly uncomfortable on my hard, full breasts. I shifted and turned slightly to see what had brought me to consciousness. Dimitri was sitting on the bed next to me, silhouette framed by the late afternoon light leaking around our curtains. Aleksey was swaddled in his arms as Dimitri made silent attempts to quiet the crying baby.

He saw me looking at them and gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I tried to keep him quiet but he finished his bottle. I think he's still hungry." If I was exhausted, Dimitri had every right to be more so. I stayed with Aleksey all day, tending to his needs and feeding him every two or so hours. Dimitri, after the first week and a half at home with us, had gone back to work. Long shifts and new parenthood had taken its toll on him and despite the guardians ability to work on little sleep for prolonged periods of time, he too was exhausted.

My heart fluttered a bit at his kind attempt to give me some rest.

I pushed myself into a somewhat sitting position, scrubbing my hands vigorously over my face in an attempt to wake myself up more.

"That's okay," I assured him through a yawn. "My boobs hurt anyway." That was an unpleasant reality of motherhood that I hadn't anticipated. What time of my day that wasn't dictated by my son was controlled by my body and the rapid rate of milk replacement in my breasts. If I didn't feed Aleksey every few hours or if he refused to drink the fullness became unbearable. I'd taken to pumping, freezing excess milk for occasions when I wasn't on hand to feed Aleksey. I might as well feed him now that I was awake. I likely wouldn't be able to fall asleep without doing that or pumping first.

I held an arm out in invitation and Dimitri gratefully dropped the squalling child into my arms. The noise quickly cut off when he latched eagerly onto my breast.

"Get some sleep, comrade," I said softly, settling in for a long nursing session.

"I'm alright," he assured me, yet despite his words he sank back into the blankets, propping himself on one elbow and resting his head against my side. I made a few quick readjustments and managed to free up a hand. I reached out to stroke his tangled hair softly. Everything was silent and content for a time as Aleksey drank his fill and then fell asleep with no further prompting. I studied him in the dimming outside light. Over the past month he had managed to fill out a bit more and start to look less like a slightly alien figure and more like a baby. The redness of birth had faded completely and his slightly tanned complexion had remained. The rounded cheeks showed promise of his fathers cheekbones, as did his chin. He definitely looked more like Dimitri then he did me.

Dimitri had fallen asleep under my gentle touch.

I managed to lean over to my side of the bed and lower Aleksey into his bassinet without waking father or son. Feeling slightly proud of this, I readjusted my sleep shirt so I was covered once more, and sank back into the blankets, Dimitri's warmth pressed firmly against my side.

Maybe I didn't get much sleep these days, but moments like this made it all worth it.

* * *

"I'm coming!" I called loudly, hoping that whoever was knocking at my door could hear me over the wailing of the baby. To Aleksey's credit, he was pretty good about not crying all the time. The only times he did were when he was hungry or in need of changing. Other than that he seemed to already be developing his fathers patients with me and I was very grateful for that. The last thing I needed was a child with my mischievous tendencies. I couldn't imagine having a baby that cried simply for the pleasure of seeing me squirm.

I finished pulling the last tab of his diaper shut while throwing the offending mess of a dirty diaper in the pail.

I scooped the now calmer baby into my arms, snapping his onsie shut as I headed for the door. I wasn't expecting company. Lissa was set to come by in a few hours, after several meetings she had lined up for the afternoon, but I knew it wasn't her because she wouldn't be knocking.

Was it Dimitri, I wondered? He was due home soon and, in the craziness around the house and our sleep-deprived states, he'd forgotten his keys before.

I swung open the door and felt a shock run through my system. That shock was quickly overrun by joy and I broke into a wide grin.

"Sydney!" I exclaimed.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all for the amazing reviews! To the guest who reviewed last chapter and gave me the mini-lesson in Russian nicknames...THANK YOU! I wanted to PM you but you weren't signed in. I really appreciate the information and hope to incorporate it into future chapters.**


	43. Chapter 43

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

45

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, swinging the door open wide and letting Sydney and her entourage enter the apartment. She pulled me into a quick hug as she passed into the living room, followed by Adrian, Eddie and Jill.

Jill squealed and immediately held her arms out for Aleksey who I happily transferred over.

"Good to see you too, little dhampir," Adrian drawled, laconic smirk in place.

I rolled my eyes at him but submitted to a hug of welcome.

"I didn't know you were coming," I admitted. It was only October and I hadn't been expecting them until the holidays at the soonest.

"It was kind of a last minute trip," Eddie said. "Sydney found something and demanded that we be here in person to tell you."

"Tell me what?" I demanded, icy fear trickling down my spine. My eyes immediately flitted to Aleksey but he was safe for the moment, Jill's head bent over him as she cooed her admiration for him.

Sydney didn't answer right away, instead she looked around my apartment and, catching sight of what she was looking for, swiftly moved to the kitchen counter. She snatched my phone off of it and without further ado slammed it onto the tile floor bringing her sensible two inch block heel down on the screen. It shattered on impact.

"What the hell?" I screeched, darting towards her. "Do you know how many pictures of Aleksey I have on that?" I demanded. Eddie caught my arm and prevented me from stopping Sydney though he looked as shocked as me.

"Sorry," she said. "But they'll be backed up to the cloud anyway." She gave the phone one last stomp and bent down to examine it, sifting through shattered glass and broken metal with a pen that miraculously appeared out of her purse.

"Care to explain why you did that?" I demanded. "Lissa got that for me!"

Last Christmas Lissa had given me a phone. I had never had a cellphone of my own before. Up until that point I'd had a business cell provided by the guardian headquarters. That had been a basic phone and I'd enjoyed the perks of the newest iPhone when Lissa gave it to me. After Marlen had kidnapped me Lissa had replaced my phone with this one.

"I'm sure she'd be happy to get you another one," Sydney murmured, still sifting through the wreckage of my phone with a sharp eye. She gave a sound of satisfaction and pulled out a small chip from the mess of plastic and glass.

"And what's that?" I demanded, weariness eking its way into my indignation. Sydney wasn't one to smash phones for fun and I knew that.

"That," she said with grim satisfaction as she straightened up and held the small rectangular piece of plastic and metal the size of my pinkie nail up for everyone to see, "is a cloning chip."

"Cloning chip?" Eddie asked, eyes fixed on the chip. He was still holding my arm and his grip tightened. I barely felt it. I'd gone cold at her words.

"Yes," she said grimly. "Someone slipped this into your phone, Rose. And whoever did has had access to everything on it. Calls, texts, emails. Pictures," she nodded towards Jill and Aleksey.

I couldn't breathe. We had been asking ourselves how Marlen could know so much about what was happening inside Court. How his partner could be in so many places and have so much access to our private conversations. It hadn't been anything as convoluted as covert spirit dreams. Instead it had been a much simpler solution: I'd been giving them everything they needed.

"Oh my God," I gasped, clutching Eddie's arm tightly, in desperate need of support as every conversation, text, email and web search I'd had since returning to Court ran through my head. When had my phone been bugged? How much had they found out? I remembered the chilling phone call from Marlen and how he'd known what Aleksey looked like before he'd been seen by anyone than our inner circle of friends. Just before that Dimitri had video called his family. From my phone.

The front door opened and Dimitri came in. He caught sight of our assemblage and read the situation, or maybe just my face, in half a second.

He crossed the room and pulled me from Eddie's grip to rest against his chest.

"What's wrong?" he demanded.

* * *

"Is there any way of finding out who put the chip in Rose's phone?" Lissa asked Sydney. We were in Adrian and Sydney's townhome while Hans and his team swept my apartment, Lissa's apartment and her office for bugs. All of their phones had also been searched for bugs but mine had been the only one found.

I felt extremely violated by the newest development, more so than I even had when being held by Marlen and denied basic human rights.

I had scarcely let go of Aleksey since getting him back from Jill a few hours earlier.

"I'm working on it," Sydney said. "Each chip has a serial number. Even if I can't find out the specific buyer I might be able to find out where the batch of chips it was manufactured with got sent to for sale."

"And how will that help?" Christian asked. "A batch of chips can be distributed to any number of locations."

"True," Sydney conceded. "But if one of those locations is the same place, or near enough, to where the burner cell that Marlen called Rose on came from then we can narrow down a location."

"You found out where the cellphone was bought?" I asked, eager for some good news. I hadn't heard anything from Sydney about her work on the phone call since Aleksey came home from the hospital.

"I did," Sydney affirmed. "Well, mostly. It came from one of four locations in Philadelphia but they make up a thirty square mile area. I'm hoping that the chip can help us narrow that down."

"How'd you even figure out the chip was there?" Dimitri asked, tightening his arm around me.

She shrugged. "I ran out of supernatural explanations for how the spy was getting their information and tracking the phone down started to get me thinking about other technologies good for tracking and it sort of stemmed from that. If the only people with access to the private conversations were not the spy's then maybe they were doing it without knowing. And what is the one thing we always have with us no matter where we go?" The question was rhetorical and she answered it herself. "Our phones. So I went off of that. I figured out the search area for the burner cell last week but I didn't want to risk calling any of you in case there were more bugs."

"But someone still had to get Rose's phone to plant it," Eddie pointed out. "Who has access to it?"

Eyes turned in my direction and I shrugged.

"A few people," I admitted. "I have a password on it to keep people out of it but I never thought about people physically putting something in my phone." I wasn't perpetually leaving my phone in public places but I did put it in my gym locker during combat class practices, in Lissa's office and any other number of moderately accessible places. Not to mention if someone had access to my apartment—as they very well could after some strategically placed notes I'd found.

The room was silent for a few minutes as options were mulled over. I was broken out of my own thoughts when Aleksey started rooting around to be fed.

"I need to feed him," I said to nobody in particular. I stood up automatically, eyes flickering around the room for a place that would provide some privacy.

"You can use the guest bedroom upstairs," Adrian offered me.

I nodded gratefully and made my escape, wanting to leave behind the lies and deceit and just focus on the one real thing in my life.

While I had once feared that I wouldn't be able to feed my child properly I'd come to love these moments alone with Aleksey. The connection that I felt between us while he nestled close to my chest and I was able to provide for him in the most basic way was pretty spectacular. I studied him closely in these moments and knew that, if I had any artistic inclination at all, I would draw him like this, in profile, the graceful curve of his nose, the tight seal of his lips against my flesh and the curling fingers with small, half moon nails that arched against the slope of my breast as if he was trying to hold me as I did him. I couldn't draw worth a damn, but I had an excellent memory and I knew that I'd remember my son like this even when he was grown and out fighting evil in the world.

There was a light knock at the door and Sydney poked her head in, eyes politely adverted towards the ground.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked. "If you don't mind."

I shrugged and, realizing she couldn't see it, called for her to come in.

She settled herself on a chair in the corner of the room and did her best to try and give me privacy. I wasn't shy and didn't hesitate to shift Aleksey from my now drained breast to the other one. Sydney noticed the exchange and tracked the move with a curious eye.

"Is it weird?" she asked, eyes fixed on the back of Aleksey's head, all pretenses abandoned. "All of the changes your body went through?"

I nodded. "The weirdest experience of my life so far," I scoffed. "And that's saying something. But not bad. Not really, anyway."

"It seems a bit….inconvenient. I mean, even if he didn't need to be fed so often your body still needs to get rid of the milk."

I nodded, remembering my thoughts from the night before.

"It definitely makes it hard to wander far from him. Not that I'd want to. But its also kind of satisfying, knowing that I'm able to provide for him. I mean, I'd probably be heart broken if I just wasn't able to do it. Some women can't."

She nodded, still a look of quizzical interest on her face.

I gave her a sly smile. "Why?" I asked. "You and Adrian planning something?" I widened my eyes at her. "Or did something unplanned happen?"

Her eyes shot up to mine, startled. "No!" she assured me quickly. "To both. I'm not pregnant and we're not planning on it. Not for a long time, anyway." I'd expected that answer. Sydney was too careful to get into a fix by accident and I knew she was still working on her career before a family. "But that doesn't mean that one day…" she trailed off with a shrug. "Some day," she affirmed.

"I'll be there with answers when the time comes," I assured her. We lapsed into a comfortable silence for a while as Aleksey finished his meal. Sydney offered to burp him while I readjusted my clothing and he was asleep by the time she handed him back.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she said suddenly and I knew we'd come to the real reason she'd followed me up here. "I know that this is all hard for you but I want you to know that even if it seems like this person—whoever they are—is everywhere, so are your supporters. We're always looking out for you."

I blinked a bit rapidly, fighting the sting of tears suddenly fighting to overwhelm me.

"Thank you," I said. "Its nothing against you," I assured her. "I just can't believe I missed it. Everything seems a bit obvious now that you've pointed it out. It's my job to see things like this and I missed it."

"Not only you," she pointed out. "Dimitri, Hans, Janine. Even Abe and his mind is as twisted as they come." She offered me a smile. "It isn't in our repoitar of crimes. We're used to fighting magic and the evil undead, not technology."

I laughed. "Maybe the academy had it right, keeping all but the necessary technology at bay."

"Yes but imagine where the world would be without Pinterest. Or Instagram." She laughed and I joined in.

"Yes, societies need to pick and choose what people see about them," I agreed. I'd meant it as a joke but Sydney froze, eyes widening.

"Rose," she breathed, "you're a genius!"

"I am?" I asked, confused. "I mean, I'm not as dumb as most people think but genius? I prefer clever."

She rolled her eyes.

"Now you're just being a smartass."

"That still means I'm smart."

"Do you want to hear my plan or not?"

I nodded.

"We can use the chip in our favor!" she exclaimed. "Not only can we use it to track where the traitor has been but now that we know they're listening we can use it to know where they'll be!"

"You want to set a trap," I whispered. "Draw them out."

"It's about time the hunter became the hunted, don't you think?"

* * *

"Don't you see?" I demanded, standing in front of the couch and commanding the attention of the room. "Its our chance! We can finally have them where we want them."

"So, what?" Christian asked. "You put the chip back in a phone and leave a trail of breadcrumbs for the traitor to give to Marlen. Then you just wait for him to follow them?"

"Exactly," Sydney nodded curtly. Unlike me, she was sitting down, though she radiated eagerness too. Adrian, at her side, was currently holding Aleksey and doing a far better job of it than I ever thought possible. "We can replace Rose's phone and re-upload everything so it doesn't look like I ever destroyed the first one. The traitor won't know the difference."

"Won't he be suspicious that the chip stopped working for so long?" Lissa asked.

Sydney shook her head. "The chip only transmits when the phone is charged. We'll just have Rose send a few apology texts saying she forgot to charge it for a while."

"So the real task will be deciding where to set up the ambush," Dimitri said, a look of extreme concentration on his face. "It will need to be a controlled location but not an obvious one. We can't just suddenly make plans for Rose to go to a warehouse in Philadelphia."

"No," I agreed. "It has to make sense. I've been locked up on grounds for months. The first time I have to leave will need to be for a good reason."

"We have a few days to come up with a solution," Sydney said. "I can pick up a new phone for you here at Court and uploading everything won't take long. But we still need to wait for the trace on the chip to come back. When we set up a location we need to know how long it will take Marlen to get there."

"In the meantime we need to act like nothing is happening," I said. "The traitor may get information from my phone but they are still at Court. If they see anything unusual they'll report it and all of this will be for nothing."

There were nods of agreement. "I'll have a better location for you in a day or two," Sydney promised. "Then we can start making plans."


	44. Chapter 44

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

44

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked, inflicting my best dubious tone as I paced around the living room, phone clutched tightly to my ear.

"Of course not," Hans answered promptly. "I don't like it one bit. But Her Majesty insists that she must go and we ultimately answer to her."

Hans was doing a very good job at acting like this was the first time we'd had this conversation. In reality it was about the tenth but this time was the one that counted. I felt the eyes of everyone else in the room on me as Hans and I laid the trap we hoped to catch Marlen in.

Off to the side Sydney sat at the dining table, laptop in front of her, as she did something techy. She gave me a nod when she caught my look, assuring me that things were going according to plan. I looked to the couch and met Dimitri's eyes. He sat rocking Aleksey, bottle firmly in his mouth to keep him from making any noise. He too nodded, a mixed look of apprehension and eagerness on his face. I understood him. I was nervous too. After all, I was setting a trap to lure God knew how many Strigoi in but I wouldn't be participating in the fight. I'd be sitting at home, coddling a newborn while we waited to see if his father and our friends ever returned. But on the flip side, it felt good to finally be doing something proactive and to be—for the first time ever—a step ahead of the enemy.

It had taken Sydney the promised two days to get a better fix on where Marlen was hiding out and once she'd pinpointed that to a thirty-mile radius in Harrisburg we'd decided to set our trap. A week of planning had led us to this very moment.

"Baltimore," I repeated for the third time in the conversation, making sure that anyone listening couldn't possibly have missed it. "What the hell is in Baltimore for her?"

"You know the Zeklos lord lives there," Hans said dismissively, as if the why was unimportant, only the command. "The vote on the guardian law was too close for her liking and she wants to be able to secure those swing votes in the future, you know that. She's trying to show that she's willing to work with others, not just make them come to her. That's why we've been leaving the wards to begin with."

I scoffed. "I think we're past the point of extending the proverbial olive branch," I said, staring imploringly at Lissa who was perched on the couch next to Dimitri. She made a face at me and turned away, clearly ignoring the jab. "I don't like this. She shouldn't leave the wards."

"I fought her on it but she's insisting. We made a deal," Hans proclaimed. "This is the last time she'll leave the wards. After this she'll bring the meetings to her."

And the trap was baited. If Marlen thought that this would be his last opportunity to get Lissa and anyone I cared about outside the wards then he was sure to act on it.

At least, that's what we were counting on.

I exhaled sharply. "Fine. E-mail me the details. I want to know everything."

"You aren't going," he reiterated firmly.

"I know," I snapped. "But I'm still Lissa's head guardian and I'll be damned if I don't know everything happening."

Hans grumbled something unflattering under his breath. "I'll send it to you now. Don't plan anything stupid, Hathaway."

"I don't do stupid," I assured him pithily. "I do dangerous and reckless." I hung up the phone and dropped it onto the counter like it was about to bite me.

"Well?" I demanded of the silent room around me.

"The chip was transmitting a signal the entire call," Sydney assured me. "Whoever put it there was listening."

"And they'll be reading that email too," Adrian added as my phone dinged with the details Hans had promised.

"Do you think he'll go for it?" I asked again.

"I don't think he'll have any reason to suspect it's a trap," Lissa admitted. "You sounded like your normal self on the call. And everything made sense."

Dimitri's phone buzzed and he quickly juggled Aleksey and the bottle before he answered it, putting it on speaker.

"Well?" My mother demanded shortly from the other end of the line. She and Abe had been with Hans on the other end of our conversation.

I reached for my phone once more and flipped it open, accessing the email from Hans.

"It all looks in order," I said. "Now all we can do is hope he shows up."

* * *

"I don't like this," I repeated as I sat on the edge of our bed, watching tensely as Dimitri moved around the room collecting all he would need for his trip to Baltimore. I clutched Aleksey to my chest with one hand, using him as a shield against the pain and worry working to overwhelm me, the other hand fisted firmly in the sheets of the bed.

"I know," Dimitri said in a show of endless patients. I would have probably smacked him by now if the roles were reversed and he'd endlessly nettled me. "But Roza this is our last chance. You want a world free of Marlen don't you? A world where Aleksey is safe?" He'd stopped moving around the room by now, coming to stand before me. He reached out, placing one large hand on our son's dark head, the other against my cheek. I leaned into his touch and nodded briefly. "I know you are worried, and I love you for that, but it has to be done. I'm not willing to let Marlen exist in a world with our son."

He stayed a moment longer before resuming his earlier tasks.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing. I understood. I knew logically that this was our best plan—hell I'd been fighting for this to happen—but I couldn't beat down the impression of how utterly useless I was. I'd thought that once the baby was born I'd be able to help more, to be useful and in the thick of everything. Yet, here I was, a month and a half after Aleksey came into our lives, and I was as useless as before. I knew there was no stopping Dimitri from going on this mission and it was for that very reason that I couldn't go. I could not in good consciousness put our family in a situation where Aleksey could lose both his parents at once. I couldn't.

"You're such a good father," I sighed, opening my eyes once more. "I hope you know that. I don't say it enough."

Dimitri stilled once more, turning back to face me. His expression was soft. Loving.

"I would do anything for our son, Roza. Anything for our family. That is why I must do this."

"I know," I gave him a wry smile. "And trust me, this whole 'defender of the weak' and 'world's best father' thing is a real turn on for me. When you get back you'd better be ready for a celebration of our own. Lissa promised to watch Aleksey for one night." I waggled my eyebrows suggestively at him and he chuckled. Neither of us had forgotten that I'd gone to the doctor for my six week check up the day before and been cleared for all physical activities.

He crossed over to me once again and cupped my face between both his palms.

"I look forward to it, Roza. You have no idea." He leaned down and caught my lips with his. I instantly released my death grip on the bedding and instead reached up to tangle my fingers in the hair at the base of his neck, pulling him tighter against me. He molded himself against me perfectly, skillfully avoiding crushing our son, instead bringing him into the protection of both our bodies like he'd done so many times while I was pregnant.

The kiss was long and scorching and when Dimitri pulled away I cursed the time crunch we were on. I would have liked to give him a good parting gift too but we simply didn't have time. I pushed back the heat burning in my lower belly and stood up, transferring my son to my other arm, and moving about the room, helping Dimitri finish his preparations.

* * *

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" I hissed as I tore apart the diaper bag, searching futilely for the diaper rash cream that wasn't there. I threw the useless bag back against the chair it had been resting on, kicking the leg of the chair in the same move.

"Rose, calm down," Lissa said in her best soothing voice. "Everything will be fine."

"It damn well won't and you know it," I snapped, glaring at her over the back of the chair. She was pacing around her kitchen, trying to calm my screaming son while Mandy tugged at her skirt and asked an endless stream of questions.

Everybody was on edge. The tension in Lissa's apartment was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. Aleksey could feel the tension and it was making him irritable. He'd been crying almost non-stop for the two days since Dimitri and the attack team had left to set the trap. The time of Lissa's supposed 'arrival' in Baltimore was in a few hours and the rest of the team was on their way to join them. Because she was supposed to be gone from Court grounds Lissa had been confined to her apartment since everyone—including Christian and several of his best Moroi combat students—had departed with a Lissa lookalike.

I'd spent the past two days hiding in my own apartment and after reaching my limit on the crying I'd come over to Lissa's to try and find some peace.

It wasn't working.

On top of the tension and Dimitri's absence Aleksey had his first diaper rash, a terrible smattering of red across his poor bottom that only added to his dismay, which he was quick to vocalize. Lissa had attempted to heal it but it kept coming back, forcing us to resort to standard rash cream.

And I'd forgotten the damn cream at my apartment.

"I won't calm down," I snapped. "Our men are setting a trap by intentionally walking into another trap and we have no idea if they're okay or not. And now I've forgotten the fucking diaper cream and its my fault!" I dropped onto the sofa in dismay. "It's all my fault."

I was talking about more than the diaper cream now and we both knew it.

"It's not your fault, Rose." Lissa came to sit by my side, still attempting to shush Aleksey as Mandy gave up on her questions and went to sit in front of the television. "You got the best of Marlen, yes, but he's the one who's causing all this trouble. Its all on him."

"Maybe but it still affects us all." I took my squalling infant from her and did my best to sooth him. I attempted to feed him but he turned his face away from the proffered breast and continued to fuss.

"It will be over soon," she said and I realized that Aleksey wasn't the only one she was trying to sooth. I appreciated the effort considering she was just as worried about the outcome and her fiancé as I was.

I stood up. "I'm going to go get his diaper cream," I said. "I'll be right back."

"Leave him with me," she said, standing as well and holding her arms out once more. "It'll be quicker. Plus, you'll attract less attention without his crying."

I hesitated. Silly as it was I hadn't been more than a bedroom away from my son since he was born. Now I was going to walk all the way across the Court grounds without him.

But Lissa was right and I would only be a few minutes.

Besides, I needed to calm down.

I passed the baby over to his godmother and nodded my thanks.

"I'll be right back," I said. "We can make lunch once I get back."

I left the three of them and headed for my apartment. I tried my best to ignore the mild activity around me as I went. It was late afternoon for the Moroi and Marlen would be falling into our trap at any moment. The list of details Hans had emailed me included Lissa's approximate arrival time at her fictional meeting—just before sunrise so that the risk of an attack during her visit to the Zeklos lord would be minimal. The sky was starting to lighten with the coming dawn and if Marlen were to attack now would be the time. I'd talked to Dimitri before heading to Lissa's and he'd assured me that everything was moving smoothly. Hans and Lissa had combined their powers and gathered the largest group of full fledged guardians in years, pulling all but the most essential guards from duty around Court and three academies on the East Coast. Dimitri had been impressed by their numbers—nearly seventy guardians and a dozen magic users, including Mia and Christian. He'd sounded confident in their ability to handle Marlen and his troops.

"Just think, Roza," he'd said. "Nobody will be able to stand up and say proactive strikes against Strigoi are impractical. If we're right we can eliminate over fifty Strigoi in one day. The possibilities are endless."

"You just focus on the fight," I'd begged him. "Let Lissa handle the politics."

He was right and in the brief moments between my worry and panic I imagined a future where we didn't sit on our asses and wait for the fight to come to us. That combined with the possible success of the Moroi magic users today would launch Lissa's political agenda leagues ahead of where it was currently stalled out. Popular opinion would finally drown out the aristocratic tones of dull old traditionalists.

"So you remain at Court while everyone else risks their lives for their queen," sneered one of the loudest aristocratic voices opposing Lissa.

I stopped in my tracks to turn and meet the disapproving gaze of Lord Nathan Ivashkov.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He had been coming out of a custom boutique and caught sight of me in the courtyard. He looked completely at ease for someone who was supposedly helping orchestrate the downfall of said queen.

"You almost sound like you care," I said.

He scoffed. "For the queen? No. Not even for the pathetic traitors who plunge their way into a warzone believing that a few months training will protect them."

"Traitors?" I asked, surprised. "You're hardly one to talk."

He glared at me, green Ivashkov eyes flattening with hate. "I am no traitor. The queen is the traitor. Traitor to her own kind. I stand up for what is right, and Moroi fighting definitely isn't right."

"They use to fight," I pointed out, ignoring the jab at Lissa. "Back in the old days."

"Yes," he agreed. "In the Dark Ages where there was no protection from the Strigoi. Now we have adapted. There is no longer a need."

"Adapted, huh?" I asked, hand propped primly on my hip as I glared across the short distance between us. I'd moved out of the popular path and now stood a short distance away from him, sheltered from the thin crowd by the boutique storefront. "That implies changing to accommodate a new development. Maybe there was a time where guardians were plentiful enough that Moroi didn't need to fight but that time is over. They must adapt once again. The time to fight back is now."

He sneered. "Spoken from a warriors perspective. You see the world through bloodied lenses. Not everyone must fight."

"Your son is out there," I pointed out. I very well could be talking to the traitor now. In fact, every bit of evidence we had pointed to him. Maybe I shouldn't be spilling the details of the trap being laid for Marlen but the reality was that it was too late for either one of us to do anything to stop it. "Is he a traitor too?"

I knew he hated his son for his decision to marry Sydney but I didn't know if he was willing to call anyone of his blood a traitor. Adrian and Sydney had gone with the guardians, though they wouldn't be in the actual fight. Sydney was staying close enough to do some magical tracking and making amulets for the fighters to use. Adrian—along with Sonya who had managed to talk her way into going while Mandy stayed with Lissa—was there to provide first aid for the worst injuries, despite the fact that he was currently on meds and magically impotent. He claimed to be able to wrap a bandage as well as anyone else.

"Adrian is not a fighter," Nathan said dismissively. "He will do what he always does—anything that helps himself."

I snorted. "That's rich, coming from you," I said. "You are the epitome of self-centered."

"I do what I think is right for my people," he argued, vein beginning to throb in his temple.

His people. _His people._ I snapped. Lack of sleep, mounting tension and worry all washed over me in a tidal wave and made my next words slip out before I thought them over.

"Oh yeah?" I stepped closer and spoke. "I know what you were doing in Wisconsin," I bluffed. His eyes, narrowed to slits until now, sprung wide in surprise and I relished the fact that I was the one to instill that surprise and panic. "I know who you were meeting."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he tried to insist. I ignored him.

"I must say I was surprised," I'd hit my stride in this lie now and was able to rattle off my quips without flinching. "I thought you were better than that. I thought even a person like you wouldn't lower themselves to such levels. But like I said, you're very self centered."

His surprise had solidified into a hard mask. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, his nostrils pinched and white around the edges. "I am not above doing what I must for those I care about," he assured me, voice hard. "And what I do and who I do it with is absolutely none of your concern."

He spun on his heel and stalked off among the first rays of daylight. I watched after him in surprise. I hadn't actually thought he cared about anyone but himself. I watched until he disappeared from sight. He made no move to reach for his phone and I honestly doubted that he was about to call Marlen and ruin our plan. Apparently his loyalty wasn't absolute.

I finally processed the rising sun and realized how long I was taking. I mentally shook myself and hurried once again towards my apartment to retrieve the cream I needed and get back to my baby boy. Talking to Adrian's father had left me with a slimy feeling and the distinct urge to hug my son.

I rushed through my apartment, grabbing the small red tube of cream from the changing table with little thought as memories of the conversation ran through my head. I made my way back across Court, analyzing every last word of the confrontation.

Ivashkov hadn't seemed rushed or on edge. He hadn't seemed like he was anticipating anything. In fact, he'd been utterly calm. While I was sure that Adrian's father was a stone cold businessman who could con the best of them I wasn't very gullible either. I hadn't gotten the feeling he was lying to me.

Could I afford to believe that Nathan Ivashkov wasn't Marlen's partner? Because if he wasn't then I had absolutely no clue who it could be. I wanted it to be him because I didn't like the guy and he was a likely suspect.

But my gut was telling me that it wasn't Nathan.

"But if not him, then who?" I demanded of myself as I hurried through the chapel gardens leading up to Lissa's apartment building. "And what is he really doing in Wisconsin?" I didn't have time to ruminate on the question.

Something hard collided with the back of my head and I pitched forward into darkness.


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.**

* * *

 **A/N: I had a lot of mixed reviews over the last chapter and just wanted to address something. Some of you were not happy with how easily Rose let her guard down. To address that: she really didn't** **. Here she is, forced to stay at home while the people she loves are risking their lives and someone is trying to do her friends harm. Her life is completely out of control so she latched onto the one thing she had control over: her ability to make her son feel better, even if it was just getting cream for a rash. In addition to that she is a first time mother and worried about her son, therefore frustrated with herself for forgetting something he needed. She wasn't be reckless in leaving Lissa's apartment, she was being a mom. Furthermore, she had no reason to believe that Marlen's partner would do her harm because the partner was the person that stopped Marlen from hurting her originally. So, while I respect everyones opinions and everyone is certainly entitled to their own thoughts I just wanted to make my perspective clear. Hopefully those of you who were not happy about the last chapter find this one more enjoyable.**

* * *

45

*Dimitri*

The Strigoi charging for him stumbled and shrieked as a ball of flames slammed between his shoulders, instantly setting his shirt ablaze. Dimitri glanced in the direction the fireball had come from long enough to give Sydney an appreciative nod before turning to the struggling Strigoi and finishing him off.

He was breathing heavily. He'd been fighting for what felt simultaneously like hours and seconds. When the battle thrall overtook him he was never sure of exact timing, only sure that he wasted no time as he moved from one opponent to the next.

The trap had been laid according to plan and had worked as intended; the Strigoi under Marlen's command had fallen right into it. They'd set up a fake meeting at a brownstone owned by a notoriously staunch Zeklos lord and evacuated the residences within a miles perimeter under the pretense of a gas leak. Once the area had been free of civilians they'd baited the trap, using some of the accompanying Moroi magic users as doubles for the Zeklos family. They'd then set up a loose perimeter, which the Strigoi had slipped through not realizing that the net closed behind them and the guardians surrounded them.

Rose and Sydney had been bouncing around estimates of Strigoi numbers for weeks and guessed anywhere between fifty and sixty Strigoi based on disappearances and increased crime rates. Dimitri hadn't had time to count since the fighting began but he was willing to bet that there had been more than that.

Dimitri slipped his stake out of the flaming Strigoi and moved on without a backwards glance at the burning corpse. They'd pinned the Strigoi between two lines of guardians, an inner ring that had been 'patrolling' the Zeklos residence and the outer ring that had closed in on them. Dimitri was a part of the inner ring, keeping Christian, his friend and charge, close by him. Christian—sharing some similar attributes with the Zelkos lords' oldest son—had been part of the act within the home. Dimitri felt him at his side now, distracted by his own confrontation with row after row of Strigoi.

Dimitri hoped that no news stations decided to take out a helicopter to inspect the area of the gas leak. He didn't want to deal with the wild stories that would follow.

He caught sight of the skyline and the rapidly graying night sky. Dawn was approaching and the dwindling numbers of Strigoi would not be a threat for long if they could only prevent them from reaching shelter in the next fifteen minutes.

Dimitri wasn't quite ready for the Strigoi to all burn to a crisp. He hadn't found Marlen yet. He needed to see the man, to know for certain that he was present, and that he was taken care of. Preferably by his own hand. He would feel slightly cheated if the sun took care of Marlen when he had so much to pay him back for.

Dimitri waded through the undulating mass of fighting men and women, dodging fists, fangs and sakes as he went. The fighters were matched in numbers but the guardians had the upper hand in skill. Even the fairly green Moroi combatants all had skill that superseded the enemy. Marlen had definitely been focusing on numbers when building his army, not skill. He hadn't done much to train his recruits, though raw power did the trick in many cases.

Dimitri was grateful for his superior height at the moment as he stood a head above much of the crowd, searching for the man who had caused him so much pain and heartache over the past year. The one responsible for taking Rose and almost costing him the love of his life and his son.

He wanted to rip the mans heart out. 'Man' was too good of a word for what Marlen was. He knew from personal experience that once a person was changed into a Strigoi they were no longer what they used to be. Man or women it didn't matter; they ceased to hold many of the qualities that made up a man or woman, their humanity and faults. Instead they became an 'it'. A being that existed purely to cause mayhem and pain. He had to find Marlen so that he didn't have the opportunity to do that for anyone else again.

He watched over the many fighters looking for the familiar figure, the pale skin marred by red burns. He needed to finish what he started in Siberia that day so many years ago.

There.

Across the roiling sea of death he caught sight of the object of his fixation. He was engaged in combat with a slight figured woman that Dimitri would recognize anywhere.

Janine Hathaway was doing a superb job of fighting the larger and stronger opponent. But she was gaining no ground.

Dimitri acted quickly. He reached behind him and grabbed Christian by the arm, pulling him in the direction they needed to go. The Moroi came willingly, too focused on directing his magic where it was needed to fight the guidance.

Janine caught sight of him as soon as he lined himself up to join the fight. She didn't acknowledge him further but turned slightly, orienting her body so that Marlen was forced to pivot slightly. And in doing so, he caught sight of Dimitri.

Marlen smiled.

"Belikov," he said in a tone of mild pleasure. "What a lovely surprise. Nice reception you set up for us here."

Dimitri narrowed his eyes at the Strigoi as he brought up his stake, unwilling to be distracted by the conversation. Janine moved closer, forcing Marlen closer to Dimitri.

"You sound pretty caviler for someone who just led his followers to slaughter," he growled.

Marlen shrugged.

"I'm not alone in that. How many of your people do you think will die before we are finished here today? You are just as bad as I am."

Dimitri clenched his teeth. "I am not," he assured him, "anything like you."

"Well," Marlen scoffed. "Not anymore at least."

"Dimitri," Janine warned him. She nodded faintly towards the sky, which was lighting considerably. Dimitri understood the message. _Kill him now or you won't get the chance._

Perhaps it was a blessing that the sun was forcing him to act quickly. Dimitri felt such rage inside of him that all he wanted to do was torture Marlen, to make him feel every bit of pain that he'd felt because of him. That part of Dimitri scared him. He hadn't felt such rage towards a Strigoi since that night with Boris in the ally outside his tattoo parlor. Rose had calmed him that time but he had been ready to take on every Strigoi in the world. He felt that rage now and without Rose to calm him down he was glad he wasn't able to act on it. Maybe Marlen was getting a mercy he didn't deserve but in reality, Dimitri was saving a piece of his soul by not acting on the rage dwelling inside of him.

"Who are you working with?" he demanded of Marlen, moving closer. Marlen stepped back out of reflex but only brought himself closer to Janine in the process. She leveled her stake warningly. Christian completed the box around Marlen, poised carefully so that he could summon fire in a split second. "Who is feeding you information from inside Court?"

Marlen only laughed. "As I die today I take comfort in knowing that I will still haunt you after my death. Because until you find my partner and bring them down you will feel eyes on your back. You will constantly be watched. I am not your only enemy, Belikov. And an enemy that lies close to home is far more dangerous than I ever could have been."

Dimitri lunged.

He felt his stake pierce Marlen's chest and felt his aim prove true as the blade slipped between the ribs and into his cold, ungrateful heart.

The first rays of sunlight breached the skyline of Baltimore and illuminated Marlen's body for the first time since his death, and the last.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri stared at the carnage around him waiting for some true feeling to hit. Right now he felt…nothing. He'd expected to feel relieved, satisfied, or at least vindicated. Instead he felt nothing for wielding so much death over the past few hours. He didn't like that. It was his job to kill Strigoi and protect innocent people yet that didn't mean it had to be easy. He didn't like how easily he could detach himself from his actions. All he wanted to do was go home and hug his son, then follow through on that personal celebration Rose had so tantalized him with before he left. But it had to wait while all of the death around him was dealt with.

Dimitri moved through the mess of bodies, taking in everything. As the sun breached the skyline the rays of daylight swallowed up the shadows surrounding the battle scene. The bodies of countless Strigoi began to disintegrate, leaving the total number of them undocumented.

Some bodies didn't disintegrate as the light struck them. The dawning day illuminated the bodies of fallen guardians and Moroi.

Their loss wasn't as significant as the Strigoi's in terms of numbers, but their losses would be felt. They had lost only one Moroi, an earth user Dimitri remembered helping on more than one occasion. It was a sad loss but the man had known what he was getting himself into and to believe that nobody would have been injured would have been ridiculous.

And then there were the guardians. Perhaps a dozen were mixed among the remains of the Strigoi, revealed as the sun thinned out the enemy. Dimitri walked among them, looking at every face.

Unlike the earth user Dimitri knew some of these faces better. Here lying on the steps of the brownstone was Luke Harris, a guardian he and Rose frequently sparred at the gym. He'd always believed Rose, both during her incarceration for the murder of Tatiana and during her pregnancy. He and Dimitri had worked out together a few times since Aleks birth and Harris had complemented him on how much his son looked like him. Dimitri reached down to close his eyes before moving slowly onward.

At the end of the block another body was strewn halfway on the sidewalk, halfway on the street. The small slight figure first had Dimitri's heart racing, particularly when he caught sight of auburn curls peeking out from a tightly tied bun.

Dimitri moved closer, dreading seeing the lifeless gaze of Janine Hathaway.

He leaned over and caught sight of her face before quickly exhaling a gust of relief when he realized it wasn't his prospective mother in law.

Still, he knew this woman.

Molly, the guardian who had helped steer him in Nathan Ivashkov's direction. She stared back at him now with flat, lifeless eyes. His heart ached as he reached out and closed her eyes too. He couldn't imagine finding her boyfriend, Lang, right now. He didn't want to be the one to tell him such bad news.

How would Dimitri react in his position? Hearing that the woman you love is lying dead on the street? Dimitri couldn't imagine it. Couldn't say for sure what he would do in that situation because it was too painful to even consider.

He moved on and found that—in a perverse, turned around way—the burden of informing Lang of his girlfriends death wouldn't fall on his shoulders.

Lang lay bloody and immobile only a few yards away from Molly, eyes closed permanently against the violent world.

Dimitri finally began to feel something in the aftermath of the battle: sadness and regret.

He regretted most of this. He regretted the lives lost, the lies and deception. He regretted that one person could impact so many lives in such a negative way. He knew that all of the Strigoi here today were newer, a product of Marlen's hate and anger towards just a few people. It was sad to know that their lives were cut short, too.

God, all Dimitri wanted right now was to hold Rose and never let her go.

"You should have that looked at," said a voice beside him.

Dimitri didn't jump, exactly, but he was a bit annoyed at himself for being taken by surprise. He hadn't heard Sonya come up beside him.

"What?" he asked her. In answer Sonya reached out and touched a tender spot on his forehead. Her fingers came back wet with blood.

"I hadn't noticed," Dimitri admitted, dismissing the injury immediately as inconsequential.

"You wouldn't notice a four inch gash in your forehead," she said, dryly amused. "Come on," she gestured back the way she'd come. "I'm sort of tapped out in the spirit department but I can help you clean it at least."

They turned back towards the Zeklos residence, which was doubling as their command center.

Guardians were moving around the scene checking for survivors, recording the dead, and simply looking around at the impossible, history worthy task they'd just undertaken. Dimitri was relieved to note both Janine and Mikhail off in the distance at the command center they were heading to. Beside them he could see Sydney and Adrian at work, helping supply first aid.

He saw Alistair and Stella working together near the portion of the team not left guarding Lissa and was grateful that more friends had survived the chaos.

Sonya stopped short and Dimitri reacted on instinct, moving himself in front of her and the prospective danger.

And then he saw what made her stop.

"Oh," he sighed. "Moy drug, ya sozhaleyu." _My friend, I am so sorry._

The body before him was Hans.

* * *

*Dimitri*

Dimitri hadn't had time to talk to Rose yet. After he'd made it back to the command station he'd sent her a text assuring her that it was over and he was okay but hadn't had time to look at his phone since. He knew that Lissa—who Christian had talked to at length—and Guardian Stone would keep her apprised of the situation.

Guardian Stone had also been informed that he was the new Head Guardian at Court.

The bodies of the fallen guardians and Moroi had been collected and laid out in greater dignity in a nearby home. They would be transported back to Court when the rest of the guardians left. All would return to Court for a debriefing before returning to their respective guard posts around the east coast. While Dimitri was truly saddened by the death of the stubborn but honorable Head Guardian he was grateful that his closest friends and loved ones were okay. Janine, Christian, Sydney, Adrian, Mikhail and Sonya were all safe, though Janine and Mikhail both supported bandaged from their own battles.

The day had been a mess of head counts, cleaning up, damage control with the human press, and the arrival of the Alchemists—which Sydney and Adrian seemed to disappear for.

The scene finally cooled down enough in the late afternoon that all non-essential people were able to return to Court. Dimitri was in one of the first cars headed back, escorting Christian.

"Relax, man," Christian told him after they'd been on the road for a while. "You'll see her soon enough. Things will be cool now. No more crazy Strigoi with a personal vendetta."

"There's still his partner," Dimitri pointed out.

"Do you think they'll risk making a move now? Without Strigoi support?" His friend sounded unsure.

"People do crazy things while upholding their beliefs," he said grimly.

Christian sighed. "It would be nice to have a break from all the crazy. Lissa and I just want to plan this wedding but she hasn't even been answering my texts lately."

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you talking to her earlier?"

"Yeah, for a few minutes but then Mandy and Aleksey were crying and she had to go. Haven't heard from her since."

Dimitri thought back to his silent phone and Rose's lack of response earlier. If the kids were giving them a rough time then it really didn't surprise him that she hadn't responded to him. Still, he couldn't wait to get back home and crawl into bed with her. The sun was nearly setting and she'd probably still be in bed when he got back. He entertained himself for the remainder of the car ride with fantasies of just how he would wake Rose up when he returned.

The caravan of guardians pulled through the Court gates at sunset.

Dimitri had to fight his eagerness to jump out of the SUV and race to Rose's side. He was being a bit ridiculous. He was a thirty-year-old man and he felt like a horny teenager eager to see his girlfriend. Well, Rose did that to him a lot.

But as soon as they moved into the guardian building he knew there would be no crawling into bed with Rose right now.

The place was abuzz with activity and not just in response to what had happened in Baltimore. What really confirmed that something was wrong was Lissa, pacing back and forth in the lobby, trying to quiet Dimitri's screaming son while Mandy followed her around, hand gripped tightly in the hem of her shirt.

Dimitri and Christian went straight for her.

"Oh thank God!" she exclaimed, seeing the two of them approach. In a matter of seconds Dimitri had Aleksey in his arms, hugging him close while Christian pulled Lissa into an embrace.

"What's going on?" he demanded, examining his wailing infant for signs of injury. He saw no obvious signs of anything wrong and Aleksey was starting to calm down at his fathers touch. "Where is Rose?"

Lissa looked up at him over Christian's shoulder, worry lining her face.

"I don't know," she said.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he demanded, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Aleksey's had a terrible diaper rash so Rose went back to your apartment to cream for it. She was supposed to come right back. But she never did. We've searched all of Court grounds. Rose isn't here."

* * *

*Dimitri*

"How the hell could she have disappeared?" Dimitri demanded of Guardian Stone. The mans quick promotion to Head Guardian hadn't gone easily for him. He looked haggard and in desperate need of sleep yet Dimitri was not willing to give him—or anyone else—the opportunity until _somebody_ did their damn job and helped him find Rose.

The entire situation felt like deja vu to him. Coming back to Court to find Lissa a wreck and Rose missing. The only difference now was that he held the solid warmth of his son to his chest as he searched for his mother.

"Its quite easy," Stone hissed. "She disappeared during the height of your confrontation in Baltimore. Our resources were stretched thin to begin with and during the attack they were diverted completely. The parameter was maintained but all interior guardians were removed from their posts for the mission."

"It was Marlen's partners final move," Christian said. All eyes turned to him. Janine and Abe—who had continued on his stay at Court since the birth of his grandson—had come into the building shortly after Dimitri, followed by Mikhail and the rest of the returning guardians. "He either realized that it was a trap from the beginning or found out today. Either way he decided not to alert Marlen and instead use the distraction as a means to get to Rose."

"That means that Rose really has been the partners target all along," Adrian pointed out. "And you all think my father did this?"

It hadn't stayed a secret for long that Nathan Ivashkov was their prime suspect. Adrian hadn't seemed overly surprised at the accusation but he was doubtful.

"Where is your father now?" Abe asked him.

"At Court. His two guardians were enlisted in the fight. He wouldn't risk leaving the wards without them."

"Two?" Lissa asked. "He was assigned three. Where is Bennett?"

"I haven't seen him since Lord Ivashkov returned from his most recent trip," Alistair supplied. "He and I spar together when he's at Court. His partners said he was doing something for their charge."

"And we didn't know this?" Lissa demanded, turning to Stone. She was not used to being kept in the dark anymore.

He shrugged, already going through files on Hans' computer.

"Lord Ivashkov returned last week. With everything happening in preparation for Baltimore we hadn't gotten to it yet."

"Someone needs to reach out to Guardian Bennett now and find out what he's doing," Dimitri said, moving to hand a now quieter Aleksey back to Lissa. She looked up in surprise, question on her lips but Dimitri was already headed for the exit.

"And where are you going?" she called.

"To drag Lord Ivashkov back here and get answers once and for all."

* * *

*Dimitri*

"Just answer the question!" Dimitri shouted at the pompous airbag seated across from him. Unlike the last few encounters he'd had with Nathan Ivashkov, Dimitri was pulling out all the stoppers this time, bypassing courtesy and subterfuge and heading straight for bleeding every last bit of useful information from the mans mangled body.

"I don't have her!" Ivashkov exclaimed in exasperation. He'd said the same thing three times already. "I already told you, I saw her in the shopping district, we argued and she left. Then I went home and waited for my guardians to come back so I could leave for my business trip."

"Your business trip that has you leaving a guardian behind?" Dimitri demanded. "You fought so hard for a new guardian yet he didn't return to Court with you. Where is he?"

"What I do with my guardians is my own concern," Lord Ivashkov replied snidely, nose up in the air. "I assure you he is still among the living and that is all you need concern yourself with."

Dimitri glared at the man. "Marlen is dead, you saw to that. There is nobody to get you out of this."

"Who the hell is Marlen?"

Dimitri knew enough about bluffing to know that it was extremely difficult—almost impossible—to lie and not have some indicator. And in that moment he had to acknowledge two possible realities: Nathan Ivashkov was a world-class liar, or he was telling the truth.

He did not lighten up on his interrogation.

"Don't play innocent with me! The Strigoi you were willing to sell your queen and people out to just to get what you wanted!"

Ivashkov's eyes widened in surprise.

"Strigoi?" he sputtered. "Work with one? Are you insane? Who would do that?"

"Someone with enough motivation. You hate the queen for her political views. You hate Rose and I for helping advance her agenda."

"Its no secret that I don't like the queen," he said. "Every policy she has put in place has undermined my aunts legacy and gone against tradition. I think she's an idealist with no true understanding of long term ramifications. _But_ that doesn't mean I want her dead."

"You don't?" Dimitri asked, eyebrow raised. "And why not?"

Nathan looked at him, exacerbated. "You lived through the last election. Do _you_ have any desire to relive that madness? I absolutely do not."

Dimitri, standing up and bracing his arms on the table until this point, dropped into his seat and leaned back, studying the man intensely.

"Then tell me what is happening in St. Paul."

Ivashkov paled slightly.

"Nothing important. I have many business associations around the country. St. Paul is merely one of them."

"If that were true then I'd still have to wonder why your 'business' takes you there once—sometimes twice—a month."

"It is a complex deal that I doubt you'd understand."

There were two sharp knocks against the glass window into the room.

"Mmhmm," Dimitri gave a non-committal grunt. "You can stick to that story or you can tell me the truth. Make sure you can live with whatever you choose because that knock on the window meant that Guardian Hathaway finally got a hold of Guardian Bennett and he's about to tell us the truth."

* * *

*Dimitri*

"Her name is Irene," Janine said upon his entrance into the observation room. "She's a non-royal who lives just outside of St. Paul. She works as a secretary for a law firm."

"I can't believe he's not the traitor we were looking for," Lissa sighed heavily, staring incredulously at the ruffled and antsy man still in the interrogation room.

" _I_ can't believe my dad is screwing a non-royal. Mr. High and Mighty fell for a commoner!" Adrian chuckled despite the seriousness of the situation, also observing his father.

"Her status as a royal or not is irrelevant." Dimitri pressed. "The point is that this explains all of his business trips, his secretive nature his need for the third guardian. He said that she couldn't get one so he did it for her. Guardian Bennett confirms, he's been guarding her for the past week."

"So if it's not Lord Ivashkov then where does that leave us?" Lissa asked. "Who else has motive?"

"A lot of people, unfortunately. The real question is 'who had the opportunity'?" Sydney said.

"And who has Rose now?" Dimitri demanded.

"I've got a record of everyone who left Court since Rose left Her Majesty's apartment," Guardian Stone said, holding up a sheet of paper for Dimitri's inspection.

He took it and studied it closely, running every name and story through his head before he lit upon one that had him frozen in his tracks.

"Yebena mat'," he breathed. _Holy shit_. "Kak ya propustil eto?"

"Miss what?" Janine demanded immediately, coming up to read the paper in his hands. "What did you miss?"

Memories danced through Dimitri's mind. Faint recollections of a quiet, unobtrusive figure lingering during important conversations, inserting himself into their lives and problems. How the hell had he overlooked this?

"Ambrose," Dimitri whispered through numb lips, pointing to the name three quarters of the way down the list. Everything began to click together like puzzle pieces in his mind. "It all makes sense. Ambrose has Rose."


	46. Chapter 46

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

* * *

 **A/N: I am so happy with how many of you were equally surprised with my reveal as those who guessed it. I know a few of you guessed Ambrose for a while now. One of you was spot on in your predictions about ten to fifteen chapters ago. It really excites me to see that people were able to catch hints I dropped all along.**

* * *

46

Light danced beyond my eyelids, illuminating the blackness around me into a red haze. I felt a car moving beneath me and smiled a little, shifting to rest my head against the window. Were Dimitri and I taking another road trip? The thought was a comforting one. We'd discussed it, getting away for a little while as a family, just me, him and Aleksey, once Marlen was taken care of. Despite the circumstances of our first major road trip, Dimitri and I had enjoyed the freedom of sitting behind the wheel of a car and deciding at random where the road would take us. We'd taken a few road trips since Lissa became queen, usually taking a weeks vacation once a year and just getting in the car to drive. It had taken us a lot of places. The first one had taken us to the Corn Palace, another to St. Louis and a third to Colorado. We had missed last years due to my pregnancy but I was happy to make up for it now.

I could hear the low murmur of his voice in the seat beside me as he spoke, apparently talking to me even while I was asleep.

I sighed and relaxed further, allowing the peaceful atmosphere to sink into my body and relax muscles that had been tense for days on end.

There was music playing softly in the background, I realized, and tuned in, expecting some old Prince song or equally as embarrassing eighties classic.

Instead, I caught the guitar rift to a completely modern rock song. I felt my eyebrows furrow slightly. Dimitri would never listen to this. He said it was just noise. It wasn't even country, which was his second favorite genre. I tuned in closer to the conversation.

"—wherever we want. That's the beauty of it. No more rules, no more listening to Moroi who think they're better than us. Freedom. That's what we'll have."

The receding tension in my body returned full force, like a wave crashing against the rocky shore, sinking immediately into every available space of my body.

That wasn't Dimitri's voice.

And then it all came back to me. Dimitri wasn't back from Baltimore yet, I didn't even know how the fight had gone or if the trap had even been successful. Was he even alive? And Aleksey? Where was he? I heard no signs of him in the back seat. I doubted he was quiet because in the two short car rides we'd taken with him since his birth we'd learned he was not a huge fan of the car, fussing and crying for most of it. No, we hadn't been planning a road trip at all. I'd been going back to my apartment to get his diaper cream and left him with Lissa. He'd been crying and I'd been in a hurry. I'd gotten stopped by Lord Ivashkov but had left him and gone back to my apartment.

What had happened after that? I'd found the cream, I knew. I'd known exactly where it was and been in and out of my home in five seconds.

But I hadn't gotten back to Lissa's. I had no memory of anything after exiting the guardian housing.

I registered a dull throbbing at the back of my head and had the immediate instinct to reach back and touch it but I restrained myself. Whoever was beside me, a familiar voice that I knew but couldn't quite place, hadn't realized I was awake yet.

I tuned in to what they were saying.

"I think you'd like somewhere with land. I know you're pretty social but we've both had enough ridicule from the masses for a while. What we need is distance, a place where nobody's opinions but our own matter. What do you think? No more being called a whore, a disgrace."

I knew that voice. Who was it? It was one I heard often enough to be familiar with it but not daily. And why was he being called a whore, too?

"It's one thing for Moroi to look down on us because we need them to have children, its another for your own kind to look down on you for your relationships."

And then I knew.

I gasped at the sudden recognition, forgetting my intention to stay inert and plan and instead rocketed forward in my seat, eyes wide in shock.

My right arm jerked painfully and I glanced down to see the shiny circlet of a handcuff encompassing my wrist and fastened to the door handle.

I turned to my left, feeling complete and total shock coursing through my system as I took in Ambrose beside me.

"Ambrose," I whispered, horrified. Oh my God. Ambrose. Ambrose, the proverbial fly on the wall to every conversation at Court. Ambrose who had been so wronged by all people in our society. Ambrose who I had confessed my suspicions to in a moment of fancy and gave him the perfect opening to assert himself into our investigation.

Ambrose.

He gave me a dazzling smile, glancing quickly at me before turning back to the road.

I glanced out the windshield and saw an empty mountain lane ahead of us. Forest bordered us to the right while a completely unsuitable guardrail bordered the road to the left, separating us from a steep drop to the ground far below.

He must have taken us deeper into the Appalachians.

"But why?" I asked, voice cracking from disuse and dispare. Ambrose. He was Marlen's partner. Why? I _liked_ Ambrose. It was easy to blame and see evil in someone you dislike—like Nathan Ivashkov—but an entirely different thing to see it in someone as friendly and personable as Ambrose. But the pieces were clicking into place at a rapid rate. If not the motive, then the means.

I remembered a year or so back when he'd shown up to Court with a black eye. He'd told me an old clients husband had found him. I'd offered to help him keep up with his training but he'd denied me. But it hadn't been a clients husband that had attacked him, had it? What if that had been the result from an unreported Strigoi encounter? And why would he report it if he'd become partners with his attacker?

And all of the Strigoi attacks. Ambrose had many jobs around Court, including running errands for people in the administrative sections of Court. He was frequently in and out of Council halls and could often be found near Lissa's office. It would have been no trouble for him to overhear the locations of our safe houses near Lehigh and report them to Marlen.

Hell, we'd been interviewing every person present at the briefing for Pittsburgh but we hadn't thought to consider the waiting staff. He'd been there, I remembered seeing him.

I was almost positive that if we looked back to every occasion that there was information leaked he would be there. I'd even sat outside the spa district at Court and told him everything we knew about Marlen's suspected partner. It was all on me. I'd _given him my phone_ while getting a reading from his aunt.

It really was Ambrose.

"Why what?" he asked, seemingly at ease.

"Why…everything?" I asked. "Why are you doing this?"

He sighed and, in a quick move, jerked the car off to the side of the road where it came to a stop amid shifting gravel. He shifted it into park and then turned to look at me.

"Doing what, exactly? Because I think we have different perspectives here. You told me yourself that you thought Marlen's partner was out to kill Lissa. None of that is true."

I raised my eyebrow in disbelief. "Ambrose. Marlen hit our car. He tried to kill Lissa. He _took me hostage_ and was planning to trade me for her! What do you think he would have done with her?"

"That was never supposed to happen," he said dismissively. "I don't want Lissa dead, per se. I like her. But she's done so much damage over the past several years that I can't let her stay in office. If death is the only way to get her out then it had to happen. And I never meant for you to be taken, Rose. Marlen wasn't supposed to and I stopped him from killing you."

I gaped at him in disbelief. I should have felt rage or something at this moment but I was completely numb.

"And I'm not Marlen's partner. Partner implies that we agreed on everything. That was far from the truth. He was just a tool to help get what I needed."

"And that's why you let him walk into a trap today," I whispered.

Ambrose shrugged. "I may have been working alongside one but I hold no love for Strigoi. They all needed to die and this was a way to do it." I couldn't believe how cool and offhanded Ambrose sounded right now. I was used to the passionate, full of life, happy Ambrose. I had never met the man sitting next to me now. "Besides, if Dimitri died in the process, so much the better."

And that's when I finally felt the anger I'd been missing.

I lashed out at him with my unrestrained hand. He dodged most of the blow but he was not current on his guardian training and, post pregnancy or not, I was much more skilled then him. I clipped him a stinging slap to the jaw.

"What has Dimitri ever done to you?" I demanded at a shout, blood thundering through my veins and throbbing in my head. "He is kind and good and working towards a better world!"

"He is taking the Moroi world down with Lissa! Tatiana was an amazing queen." His eyes became starry at the mention of his former lover. "She ruled with an iron hand, doling out justice and punishment as fit. Lissa is too soft. She lets everyone walk all over her and relies too heavily on her magical abilities instead of her political agenda."

"She's trying to make our world more equal!" I yelled. "You just said so yourself that we've been looked down on by our own people. She's trying to stop that."

"There is a difference between being equal in love and equal in status. The only way the guardian system truly functions is through a status hierarchy. Start giving too much power to the dhampirs and soon they start to realize they should not be sacrificing themselves for the Moroi."

I gaped at him. "But you don't even _like_ the guardian system. You never wanted to be one."

"Just because I don't want to be a guardian doesn't mean that I don't think the Moroi should be protected. They need to be and if there's going to be any way of doing that then the system has to be as it was. Tatiana believed in that. She fought to make sure the women and children didn't fight but she knew better then to mess with the status quo."

I opened and shut my mouth a few times, searching for the right words. The truth was he had me completely off guard here and I didn't know how to respond.

"Let me get this straight," I said. "You want Lissa gone because she's fighting for equality, which you only want in love but not socially." He nodded. "I don't think you can separate the two, Ambrose. They both influence the other."

"I've come to realize that," he admitted. "I've worked so hard over the past year to make changes and none of it is helping. The Council still works to approve guardian reallocation and the changes in guardian structure. The queen is still in favor—more so now because some traditionalists are on board now that she's engaged and not just living in carnal lust with her boyfriend—and our world is a mess over her powers to help dhampirs reproduce without the Moroi." He turned to give me a pointed look and I wanted to find a physical way to defend my son, despite the fact he wasn't here right now. "I can't fix that much corruption. I can't change the minds of the entire public. So I've decided to take myself, and you, out of the mess. We're always the ones who take the hit when public opinion shifts. We won't be any longer."

My brow furrowed. Why was he ignoring the most obvious fact? "Ambrose…everything you say you hate Lissa and Dimitri for…I'm right there with them. I support Lissa and fight alongside her and Dimitri for the same goals. I'm the _mother_ of the child you are so sure is helping Lissa change things. Why didn't you want me dead?"

He turned briefly towards me and the look he gave me was so scorching, so soul deep, that I realized in an instant what I'd been missing this entire time.

The one thing that had been so elusive about Marlen's partner was why he hated Lissa and Dimitri so much but wanted to keep me protected. And now I knew. I wasn't just Ambrose's only friend, the only person at Court who never looked down on him or judged him for his past.

He was in love with me.

"Oh," I breathed. "Oh, Ambrose." I was completely confused by my emotions. I was not angry or satisfied like I thought I'd be when I finally figured out who was behind everything. I was so, so sad. Here Ambrose was, hating Lissa and Dimitri, hating my son, and I couldn't be completely angry with him. He was social outcast, so isolated from true contact with others aside from his aunt and older women who only used him for sex and blood, that he'd found the only way he was able to survive. Tatiana had shown him kindness in life, as much as I was convinced the woman was capable of. He'd clung to that connection even after her death. He needed to defend it and that was where his hatred for Lissa came from. And after Tatiana's death? Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say that we were best friends but we'd run into each other on occasion and chat. We'd had lunch a few times and were always kind to each other. I hadn't realized that my kind words were probably the only ones he ever heard anymore. That connection had turned into something greater in his mind. It made sense that he'd hate Dimitri for keeping me from him. It even made sense that he would see our son as a threat. He was a permanent link between me and Dimitri that showed not only the love that we had for each other but our lasting connection to each other. Any hopes he'd ever had of the two of us working out were thoroughly thrashed by Aleksey's existence.

He nodded. "Now you know," he said simply, throwing the car into drive and pulling back out onto the road. "And we're about to have our chance. Away from Court and politics. We'll be free."

"What about my son?" I asked carefully. "What about my baby?"

He pursed his lips, a white rim appearing around them. "Dimitri is alive," he said at last. "I heard that on our way out of Court. Your boy will have his father."

The relief I felt from that statement was only half of what I wished it would be. Dimitri was alive. I exhaled a large sigh. Dimitri. Oh God, Dimitri.

"Doesn't he deserve his mother too?" I asked. "Ambrose, isn't it every dhampir's dream to have both their parents in their life? Wasn't it yours?"

He swallowed hard, Adams apple bobbing. "I had my aunt. She was more than enough."

"Maybe to someone who knew nothing else."

"Being a guardian took my mother away from me," he spat. "She died protecting an ungrateful Moroi. Why else would I want to get away from that?"

"But I'm alive!" I protested. "Aleksey can have both his parents. You're taking that from him."

"Then he will not be the first casualty of my actions. I'm sorry."

I felt tears stinging my eyes. My boy. Yes Dimitri was there for him and I would forever be grateful for the family I knew he would be able to have without me but that wasn't enough. I needed my baby. He was a part of me and I could not stand the though of another minute without him, let alone a lifetime. My breasts were hard and swollen with milk, attesting to just how long he had been without me already. The sun was beginning to set outside and I knew it had been at least an entire day. I felt like a vice grip was wrapped around my heart without him in my arms.

I needed him. I studied Ambrose. Despite the tense conversation he was relaxed as he drove, completely at ease with our surroundings. I was fettered tightly to the door and unable to have full control of my body. I was in no true position to attack him.

But that didn't mean our surroundings couldn't work in my favor.

I watched the road ahead as we turned the corner of a switchback, climbing higher into the mountains. The road ahead was clear and obviously infrequently traveled. The woods on our left now were thick with large, sturdy trees.

"That's not good enough for me," I said and lunged. I grabbed the steering wheel with my left hand, my right arm stretched to its limits, wrist pulling painfully in a memory of my days with Marlen. I jerked the steering wheel in his hands and the car swerved.

Ambrose yelled in surprise and tried to regain control. He reached for me with one arm and as he came within striking distance I lashed out, slamming my forehead into his face.

He jerked back in surprise and relinquished enough control over the wheel for me to act.

I pushed the wheel left and the car, speeding along at a fast pace, turned towards the tree line. I leaned back in my seat and braced myself as the car slammed into a large deciduous tree and my world erupted in pain.

* * *

I wasn't quite sure how much time had passed when I came to. The sun was riding low on the horizon, casting the entire scene in gray shadows.

The dimness did nothing to hide the blood.

At first the sight of scarlet blood splattered across the airbag in front of me had me seriously concerned. I had to wonder what shard of glass or sliver of metal had punctured my body and if I was in serious risk of bleeding out. Then I tried to breathe through my nose and realized that the clogged swollen mass was a sure sign of a broken nose, which explained the blood. I relaxed a bit.

Then the aches set in. I'd intended to crash the car mostly on Ambrose's side but we'd ended up pretty dead center in the tree. I looked to my left. Ambrose was face first in the airbag, immobile. Right, I had to act fast. I took a quick inventory of my body. My nose was definitely broken, and throbbing painfully. Blood dripping into my eye also suggested I had a split eyebrow. My right arm was numb, having been yanked painfully by the force of the crash while being handcuffed to the door. I'd had my seatbelt on and the strap across my chest had dug in tightly, burning the side of my neck and leaving a lasting ache in my chest. I found it hard to breathe. I fumbled to unbuckle myself, taking in a gasping breath as it finally retracted. I tried to move but my legs were pinned by the caved in dashboard.

"Son of a bitch," I hissed in pain as I tried to move my legs. They were pinned down by the bent in dashboard which put pressure above my knees, but they weren't stuck. I could probably slide out of the car if the door was open.

Beside me Ambrose groaned and stirred.

Time to move.

I brought both hands up to the door handle and pushed. It was jammed. I tried again, throwing my shoulder into it as best I could. The door groaned.

I threw myself against it four more times before the door gave and swung open.

The next part was tricky and took longer than I had hoped as I wiggled myself out of the seat without the use of my legs. When I finally managed it I was unable to brace myself in time and went crashing onto the dirt beneath the car, landing firmly on my ass.

"The world hates me," I groaned, staring up at the leaves overhead for some time before Ambrose groaned again and got me moving.

Then I was faced with my original problem. The handcuffs. I pulled on them, studying the door handle carefully. It was one of those plastic bars that were there to brace yourself when the driver was speeding. I yanked on it and the door around it buckled slightly. "Right," I said. "Can't break the handcuffs then just break what they're attached to."

I wrapped my left hand around the handcuff chain to help protect my wrist some then braced myself against the side of the car and struck out with my sore leg, slamming my foot flatly against the door.

I stumbled forward on the impact, the handcuffs still firmly fastened.

Ambrose moaned loudly. "Rose?" he questioned.

"Come on, come on, come on," I muttered, setting myself up again and repeating the procedure. The hard plastic of the handlebar cracked.

"Third times the charm," I said and slammed my foot into the door once more.

My ankle bent painfully as the door cracked loudly. The lower part of the handle yanked free of the door.

I sighed in relief and slid the handcuff off the broken end, stumbling away from the car at last.

"Rose," Ambrose called again, more loudly this time. He was definitely awake. He swore loudly and I heard him beating back the airbag.

"Time to go," I told myself, limping away from the car, a compressed mass of silver metal, and towards the woods. I'd run away from Dimitri on two separate occasions and ended up in the woods. What I'd learned from both of those instances was that I'd never be able to fully escape Dimitri.

Ambrose, however, wasn't Dimitri and he'd just been through the same car crash that I had. I was hoping to lose him in the forest.

I heard the screech of metal and a thud as he freed himself of the wreckage.

I moved faster, going as far into the trees as I dared without losing sight of the road. I was already lost; I didn't need to lose my only link to civilization.

"Rose," Ambrose called to me. "Come on, don't be like this. Your son will be fine and you'll be away from all that nonsense at Court."

I didn't answer him, just kept going.

"I know you are confused right now. Trust me, I was too, at first." He sounded like was getting closer. I started zigzagging through the trees. "After Tatiana died I didn't know what to do. I loved her. I believed in what she stood for. Then Lissa started changing things and I bit my tongue. I knew nobody would listen to a bloodwhore like me. But it got worse and worse. I couldn't keep up my relationships with the other women, it didn't feel right. For _years_ I floated around like a ghost of my former self.

"Then one day my aunt sat me down and did a reading for me. And what I found that day was clarity."

Clarity? From one of Rhonda's readings? I thought that was very unlikely.

"She told me that I was about to make a decision that would change my life and bring me closer to the people I care about. That I would meet someone who could help me do this."

I was panting heavily now, and despite the cold November evening sweat dripped down my back and face. It stung the cut on my eyebrow and mixed with blood before dripping into my eyes. I had gone to the gym a bit since Aleksey was born but had not yet worked my way back up to my normal. That combined with my injuries and inability to breathe clearly through my nose were making escape hard, especially when I was unable to keep quiet, harsh breaths and clanking chain of my handcuffs obnoxiously loud in the otherwise quiet evening.

How far away was he?

I caught sight of lights up ahead and realized after a few moments that I was seeing headlights through the trees. I immediately altered my course, making a beeline for the road.

Ambrose was closer now. He continued speaking.

"The only real doubt I had after that reading was who I actually cared about. I had nobody but my aunt and we were already as close as possible. I didn't think she meant one person, but rather our people, as in the dhampirs. I wasn't sure.

"Then I went outside the wards on a supply run one day. I'd done it a hundred times before but this time I got caught in a bad storm and was stuck there overnight. I was attacked in the hotel parking lot." I could see where his story was headed and part of me wanted to take a minute to stop and listen as he revealed the answers to every question I'd been asking the past several months. The rest of me put on speed towards the rapidly approaching car. "He would have killed me, Marlen, except I was wearing my work uniform and he recognized the Court business. He said he was disappointed in me, that I was a terrible fighter for a guardian and that he'd fought a lot of legends I didn't hold a candle to."

His rasping voice was coming even closer. I knew he could see me by now but I didn't dare risk losing the car.

"I told him that I wasn't a guardian but I was sorry I was no Dimitri Belikov."

I stumbled at Dimitri's name but quickly regained my balance. I was almost to the road now but the car was going too fast. It was going to pass me.

"He paused at the name. He asked me if I really knew the man. I said unfortunately. I'm sure you can guess how the rest of our confrontation went."

I could. They'd bonded and forged a business relationship based off of mutual hatred and opportunity.

"We struck a deal and from that moment on I knew I was going to be able to make the change I wanted to see in our world. And when I got back to Court it was like nothing had changed. Nobody had known I was gone for longer than I should have been. Nobody knew or cared how close to death I'd come. Except for you. You saw me, you cared about me. I knew you would have cared if I died. You were my friend, you always had been. You didn't look down on me for my past or my life choices. I hadn't really realized how much I relied on our relationship. You were the only person that I cared about."

The tree line was just ahead. The car was already there. I put on an extra burst of speed but it was no use. I lunged past the final trees as the car sped away, taillights flashing tauntingly in the distance.

And I was grabbed from behind.

"NO!" I screamed, lashing out and kicking, trying to break his hold. He was breathing heavily, chest heaving against my back, but his arms were strong. "Let me go! Ambrose please, for our friendship let me go!"

"I can't do that, Rose! I care too much about you to let you go down with such a flawed society. And make no mistake it will go down. It will crash and burn and take everyone with it. It's only a matter of time before the rift among our people drives us into the light of human day. They'll discover that vampires are real and they'll kill us. I'm saving you from that."

"Your intentions may be good but your execution of it is flawed!" I managed to free my right hand and swung it outward, using the handcuff as a weapon and whacking him firmly on the head with it. He yelped in pain and released me. I broke free and skittered several steps away before turning to look at him. "People change and constantly surprise each other. How do you know that our people wont band together and become stronger for our differences?"

"I've seen too much bad in the world to believe in such a fantasy," he said, rubbing the back of his head where I'd landed my blow. He looked as bad as I did, sweaty from the run and bloodied from the crash. He had a long gash along his right cheek where I assumed that the window had broken and sliced him.

"I'm sorry for what you've gone through, Ambrose," I said sincerely, staring at him across the distance between us. I hoped he could see the honesty in my eyes. "But I didn't do that to you. You made some bad decisions and you can't undo them. I won't let you ruin my life. I have to go home to my baby. If you try to keep me from him I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make your life hell. I won't stop fighting and I'll die before I walk away from him."

Ambrose studied me carefully and I watched the change come over him.

"I did what I did for Tatiana's legacy. I was trying to save what she worked so hard for." His voice broke a bit at the end and I felt bad for him, I truly did, but that only went so far.

"Your intentions may have been good but that doesn't change how much bad you did. You fed information to Marlen. You are responsible for the deaths of so many people," I thought of all the death that I'd been around the past few months. "My friends Jeff and Alan and Xavier and all those who died trying to save me. Those who died in Boston and in Baltimore. You made choices for yourself and didn't care how they impacted others. You were willing to deal in other people's lives. That's what makes a traitor."

"Traitor?" he looked stricken at the term.

"Yes, Ambrose," I said sadly, realizing as I watched him that he'd never considered that word in relation to himself before. "Traitor. Wanting to protect the legacy of someone you loved is understandable and expected but there is no honor in what you did. You could have stood before the Council and made your opinions known. You are my friend. Had you tried, you could have had the ear of the queen herself. Lissa would have listened to you and been glad for the advice. You spent so much time with Tatiana that she would have used your stories as lessons. But you didn't do any of that."

"I doubt she would have listened," he said, but his gaze had turned inwards as he assessed his past actions.

I sighed, feeling the weight of the day—of the past several months really—come down on me. I didn't enjoy tearing Ambrose down. I really did like him but I couldn't excuse his actions. "You are so caught up in disliking her politics that you fail to remember who she is as a person. We both know that Lissa is a kind person and would always make time for someone who is truly concerned for her people."

"I think you have too much faith in people, Rose," he said. But despite his words he put no passion behind it. Up until now his words had been spoken with zeal. Now they were hollow. "But I never meant to hurt people. It didn't start out that way."

"But you didn't stop it when it did. After the attack at Lehigh you could have stopped everything, turned yourself in. What about after I was taken? If you were so concerned with keeping me alive why didn't you turn yourself over and help them? Marlen was going to turn me." His eyes widened and I saw genuine shock in his features. So Marlen never did tell him that part. "Once he found out I was pregnant he realized he had more leverage. He wanted Lissa in exchange for me. He would have turned me and gotten the information he needed before killing me. If you care so much about me—if you really love me—then why didn't you stop him?"

"I-I didn't—"

"You didn't what?" I demanded. "Didn't know? Didn't think? Didn't care?" I shook my head. "You need to be honest with yourself Ambrose. At some point this plight of yours turned into revenge. You were mad that Tatiana was killed and took it out on Lissa. You were mad that I wasn't in love with you and took it out on Dimitri." I looked directly into his eyes as I spoke. "I think you are a wonderful man, Ambrose, but even if Dimitri wasn't in my life I don't think we would have been together. We're too different."

"So what now?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. "This has become my life. You expect me to give up on you and making a change all in one day?"

"Do you have a choice?" I asked. "Where will you go? What will you do?" I took a step forward and reached out for him, catching his hand in mine. "Come back to Court," I begged. "Answer for what you did. Only once you get past this can you really start working towards a goal. If that is to keep our world safe and protected and in order then those aren't dissimilar for what Lissa and I fight for every day."

He looked down at our clasped hands.

"And what will they think of me?" he asked, looking behind me where the sun had all but disappeared behind the horizon. "Will they call me a traitor?"

I sighed again and nodded. "You know they will."

He pulled his hand from mine and walked past me. I wasn't overly concerned with him running away at this point. We both had nowhere to go. I hadn't had my phone on me when I left Lissa's apartment and I doubted seriously that he had one. I also doubted that the car was in any working order at this point.

I watched as he approached a break in the guardrail, watching the last glimmer of sunlight with great intensity. It was probably the last time he would see the sun for a long, long time. I moved to stand beside him.

"I've been looked down of for being a lot of things," Ambrose said, not taking his eyes off the scene before us. The mountain cut away sharply and turned into a tapestry of forest and farmland in the distance. "A dhampir, a whore, but I will not be called a traitor." He moved towards the ledge and in that moment I knew what he was planning. This wouldn't just be his last time seeing the sunset. It would _be_ his last sunset.

"Ambrose don't!" I reached out as if to grab him but thought better of it. I didn't want to force him to make a move faster. "Please," I said, hand frozen in the air just above his arm. "Don't do this."

"And why not?" he demanded, poised precariously on the edge of the ledge. "What do I have to live for?"

"There is always something worth fighting for," I assured him. "I'm not it for you but that doesn't mean you can't find something worth it for you."

He scoffed, a harsh sound that was hard to equate with the usually jovial Ambrose. "Fighting from a prison cell?"

"I did," I pointed out, though decided not to mention the part where I escaped and was innocent of the crimes I was accused of. "Yes you made mistakes and yes you need to answer for them. But you have a lot of good points too and you should make them known. You can still have a purpose."

He sighed. "Some people, like you and Dimitri, thrive on having a purpose. On always working towards a goal. The rest of us just want to live and be content. Neither of which I will truly be able to do from a prison cell."

"You'll live," I pointed out. "That's more than I can say if you take another step."

"But what kind of life is that? Is it really living? I'd rather stop living now, when I have freedom, then give that up."

"So you're going to quit?" I demanded, deciding to change tactics altogether. Trying to appeal to his softer self wasn't working, time for tough love. "You've fought so hard for everything in your life. You went against dhampir traditions and didn't become a guardian because it wasn't what you wanted from life. You pursued a relationship with Tatiana because you wanted it, against all other opinions. So you can't have me and you can't have Lissa dead, that doesn't mean you should stop fighting for what's right!"

He gave me a sad smile. "You chose a life of fighting when you chose the guardians, Rose. I didn't want to become like that and look what's happened to me." He gestured down at himself as if his personal appearance reflected his every action. "I've fought too much over the past few years. Its time I stopped."

He looked down to the empty air beneath his heels.

I took two steps forward and froze when he locked eyes with me once more.

"Ambrose, please," I breathed, heart thundering so loudly I couldn't tell if he'd even heard my plea. Tears stung my eyes. Why was I crying? This was the man that had sold Lissa out, nearly had me, Dimitri and my son killed. I should hate him. But I didn't. I understood him and I felt sorry for him. "Whatever you've done doesn't change the fact that you're my friend. I care about you."

He smiled at me, a full on Ambrose smile that made queens fall in love with him.

"Enjoy your life Rose," he said. "You've earned it."

And then he stepped over the ledge.

* * *

 **A/N: I know this update was a bit late. I am sorry. Unfortunately, the next update may also be late. Don't freak out if it has been a week without an update. It is coming. I promise.**


	47. Chapter 47

Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.

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47

*Dimitri*

"Slow down!" Sydney cried from the back seat as Dimitri cut another switchback dangerously close to the edge. Dimitri tightened his grip on the steering wheel but didn't alter his speed. The GPS tracker had Ambrose's car only ten miles ahead. It had been stationary for the past half hour and all of Sydney's research and satellite photos had shown no reason for the car to stop there. No scenic overviews, no pull off stations, no campgrounds. Dimitri was determined to get to them as soon as possible, before they could start up once more. He, along with Sydney, Mikhail, Eddie, Stella and Janine had all been crowded into the SUV for the better part of the day, chasing after Ambrose and Rose.

It had taken very little time after realizing who Marlen's partner was to get the ball rolling. Guardian Stone had sent several people to search his apartment and talk to his aunt while Dimitri himself had gone to question the guards on gate duty when Ambrose had left Court.

He knew the two guardians and knew of their competence. He believed them when they said everything had seemed normal. Ambrose was going on another supply run, which he did frequently enough. He was due back any time.

They had not checked his trunk as it was only standard procedure to do so on incoming parties.

Dimitri also knew that Ambrose was good at being unassuming. He knew—knew with all his heart—that Ambrose was behind this. Seeing his name on the guard list had brought everything screeching into perspective. Ambrose was often present at guardian debriefings, serving drinks and running errands. He hadn't even crossed Dimitri's mind during the interrogations because they'd been so locked onto the idea of a Moroi dissident being responsible. With Lissa so well liked among the dhampir community none of them had even considered that a dhampir could be in league with Marlen.

Then again, no sane guardian would. Ambrose wasn't a guardian.

A search of his apartment had turned up nothing. As in, he'd packed everything he could carry and left. His aunt had been questioned but hadn't had any information on his whereabouts. She had confessed, however, that he hadn't been himself for some time, always introverted, quiet and watching, nothing like the sociable Ambrose she remembered from years ago. Dimitri was a little suprised with himself and others that this change in behavior had gone unnoticed for so long. Then again, many people had changed after Tatiana's murder and not many people knew Ambrose outside of a silent Court worker. Rose was among the few who might have any insight into the man.

That made it all the more difficult to guess his endgame. Dimitri had no idea where Ambrose could be taking Rose, but he was fortunate enough not to need one.

Ambrose had taken a Court vehicle which—after his and Rose's daring escape from custody several years ago in one of the Courts vehicles—were now all equipped with a GPS tracker. It wasn't common knowledge, only a tool for the guardians to use if necessary.

And today it was very necessary.

It had nearly torn Dimitri's heart out to leave Aleksey behind so soon after reuniting with him but he knew that Lissa and Sonya would take good care of him in his absence. Now that Ambrose was no longer at Court Dimitri felt more confident that the members of Lissa's guard remaining at Court to protect her could handle any disgruntled Moroi threats. Still, he counted down the minutes until he could hold his son and his love again.

"They still haven't moved," Sydney assured him as he rounded another turn. Now the drop off was to the passenger side of the car while he was near the forest. "Its about five miles ahead."

Dimitri scanned his surroundings. There wasn't much for them to stop and do here and he couldn't imagine five miles would change that.

They'd tracked the car across the state of Pennsylvania, taking most of the daylight hours to do so. The sun was riding low on the horizon now and Dimitri worried about Strigoi activity. They'd ended up deep within the Allegheny Mountains, which were part of the Appalachian chain. They were climbing up higher into the Mount Davis area and Dimitri had to wonder if Ambrose's plan was to hole up in the wilderness with Rose for the rest of their lives or make his escape over the West Virginia border a few miles south.

A random part of his mind wondered just how far away they were from the Keepers settlement by now. He doubted Ambrose would head there. He didn't want to fight and in the Keepers settlement everyone learned to defend the community.

He slowed down as he came within a mile of the cars coordinants, everyone in the SUV watching for signs of it.

"Skid marks," Janine's voice came from the seat beside him after a moment of silence and Dimitri's eyes immediately went to the road itself.

She was right, paralleling lines of swerving skid marks marred the sun-bleached roadway, cutting between two lanes and finally headed towards the tree line.

Dimitri followed them and caught sight of the car.

His stomach lurched at the sight of the crumpled silver vehicle wrapped around a large tree. He threw the car into park and lunged out the door, quickly followed by the rest of the passengers. The headlights of the SUV illuminated the crash sight in the darkening night. The passenger door was hanging open and the crumpled hood of the car was smoking slightly. He heard the clicking of guns as some of his companions drew and gave him cover. The wreck seemed abandoned but now wasn't the time for incompetence.

He peeked through the back window but the car was deserted. He laid a hand on the truck of the car and the hatch popped open with only the slightest of pressure. Luggage was strewn inside but there were no signs of Rose. He shut the trunk and went for the passenger seat. The dashboard was caved in and the door handle broken off. The airbag was splattered thickly with blood.

"Nose?" Sydney asked, coming up beside him. "That's a lot of blood for someone to walk away from. Nose bleed would explain it."

Dimitri was inclined to agree but the rational thought process didn't stop his heart from thundering viciously in his chest. Rose was injured. She was hurt and somewhere in these woods either in Ambrose's custody or trying to escape him. Seeing no probable causes of the accident he was pretty confident that Rose had somehow caused Ambrose to lose control of the vehicle.

"That's my girl," he whispered, before standing fully erect and walking around the car, inspecting the scene carefully.

"Over here!" Eddie called and Dimitri practically flew to his side. "Tracks," he said, crouching down and tracing two sets of footprints in the displaced dirt. They were very distinct sizes and Dimitri had seen enough of Rose's shoe collection to properly gauge her size as the smaller print. He pulled his gun from its holster and a flashlight off his belt. Clicking it on he forged his way into the Pennsylvania wilderness.

* * *

*Dimitri*

The guardians spread out in a grid sweep, working to cover as much ground as possible within walking distance of the crash. Sydney stayed with the SUV in case Rose came back or the police showed up and Stella stayed with her.

Dimitri had headed back the way they came within sight of the road. The footprints had disappeared in the undergrowth only a few feet away from the wreck but they'd been headed in this direction. Not only that but Dimitri knew that Rose—even while trying to escape—would be smart enough to head back in the direction she came from knowing that somewhere along the way there would be civilization. He also thought she'd be smart enough to keep the road in sight. Which meant he very well could have passed her on the way to find the car.

"Rose," he called into the night. He waited a few moments to see if any response came. When it didn't he called again. "Roza, its me! Please come out."

He knew there was a very real possibility that she was keeping silent to avoid detection from Ambrose. If this were the case then Dimitri himself could be attracting her kidnapper.

 _Let him come_ , he thought. He'd be happy to come face to face with the man who had caused his small family so much heartache. Dimitri was not pleased by the identity of the Court traitor. Throughout the ordeal of the past few months he had thought that he'd feel vindicated and relieved when when the traitor was brought to justice. That the person responsible for all the troubles in their life would deserve everything they had coming to them and he would not waste a moments remorse on the man.

But he felt none of that now. He did not know Ambrose very well at all but he knew Rose had a soft spot for him. He knew that society had done its best to beat the man down and couldn't help but understand—not accept, but understand—why he had become what he had. While rage burned inside of him at the thought of Ambrose's actions and he had no doubt that when confronting the man that anger would show itself in unpleasant ways, he also felt great sorrow over the turn of events.

Dimitri moved through the underbrush, doing his best to search for signs of recent passage but in the full night it was impossible to tell. His flashlight illuminated only fifteen feet in front of him and he kept sweeping it back and forth for signs. He could just glimpse the moon through the trees, helping him keep the road to his left as he continued, calling for Rose.

"It's time to come home, love," he called after several more minutes of searching. "It's time to come back to Aleksey. He misses him mother."

God, he needed her back. He needed to hold her safe in his arms, to hold both her and Aleksey. He swore that if they got out of this situation he'd make sure to never let her go again.

"Anything?" he asked into his radio, hoping that someone else had picked up on some sign by now. They'd been searching for almost an hour.

There was a chorus of negatives and Dimitri exhaled sharply, forcing down the urge to strike out at the nearest tree in frustration. He stopped and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. He heard no signs of anyone around him. That didn't mean the night was silent, though. Though no animals made a noise in his immediate vicinity he could hear the calls of night creatures all around him in the forest. There were no other pockets of silence like that which surrounded him.

He doubted seriously that they would be making such noise if Rose and Ambrose were crashing through the forest.

With a curt swear he cut sideways through the forest and out onto the shoulder of the road. He recognized the switchback he'd come out on and realized that he must be almost five miles away from the crash by now.

He tucked away his flashlight and gun then set out at a light jog, thinking it best to cover more ground. He'd call from the road and hope Rose could hear him in the forest.

"Roza!" he called at frequent intervals as he went, eyes scanning the road in front of him as well as the tree line, surveying for even the slightest of movement.

He'd almost covered another mile when he rounded a bend in the road and stumbled over his own feet.

In the distance a small figure limped along the side of the road, moving slowly, but determinedly, down the mountain.

"Roza," he breathed, his heart whirring to life in a rush that had nothing to do with the physical exertion he'd just been putting his body through. "ROSE!" he called louder as he kicked himself into action. He took off at a dead run, heading towards the shadowy figure that had just stopped and was turning towards him.

Dimitri caught a glimpse of tousled hair, surprised brown eyes and a bloody nose before he crashed into her, locking his arms around her waist as he crushing her body against his.

She was real. Real and solid and absolutely wonderful. Her breath hitched as he held her but he couldn't bring himself to loosen his grip. He just stood there, holding her as he repeated her name, over and over again like a mantra.

He didn't realize he was crying until she pulled away a fraction and reached up to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Hey comrade," she whispered, tears making silver tracks on her own cheeks as she turned her face up to him. "Can you give me a ride home?"

Dimitri couldn't help himself. He laughed. He laughed and leaned down and kissed her thoroughly, tasting blood and sweat and tears as he did so but willing to put up with all of it because he could taste her too. She responded to the kiss, reaching up and locking her arms around his neck. A cold clink of metal thumped against his back and he pulled away, reaching out and taking her arm. He pulled it into view and saw a handcuff latched tightly around her right wrist, rubbing the skin beneath it raw.

He growled, cold fury taking hold in his core.

"Where is he?" he demanded. "Where is Ambrose?"

"Dead," Rose said in a hollow voice and Dimitri knew that she didn't want to say any more about it. A jumble of emotions whirled through him. Dead. On the one hand he felt cheated that he could not bring his wrath out on the perpetrator. On the other he was grateful that he would not have the opportunity to lose control over himself, which he already felt close to doing. He would sort through those emotions later. For the time being, he asked no more questions.

He pulled her back against him, burying his face in her hair. "God Roza," he mumbled. He didn't say anything else after that, just held her.

She pulled away after a moment, turning her face up to his once again. "Aleksey?" she asked.

"Fine," he assured her. "With Lissa and Sonya. We'll be back with him soon."

She relaxed visibly and Dimitri marveled once again at how quickly and competently she'd sunk into the role of mother. Her every thought and action was made with careful consideration for their son and Dimitri loved seeing it. Loved knowing that not only had she given him the most precious gift he could ever dream to receive, but also that he'd somehow managed to do the same for her. They were a family, one that had stood together against so much opposition that the only struggle left was the test of time.

He leaned down and kissed her again. She clung to the kiss and they spent several moments locked in their embrace before Dimitri forcibly pulled himself away.

"Marry me?" he whispered against her lips.

Her eyes, closed in blissful content until that moment, sprung wide as she stared at him.

"Seriously?" she demanded, a skeptical look on her face. "You've had five years to ask me that and you choose now? When I'm dirty and bloody and have a broken nose?"

He chuckled. "You're beautiful," he assured her.

She glared.

"Okay," he conceded. "Lissa should probably heal your nose. It's a tiny bit crooked right now. But I think I could live with it if we had to. What do you say?"

She tried to fight it, but the smile crept onto her face and quickly became full fledged.

"You already got me pregnant," she said. "It's about time you made an honest woman out of me."


	48. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I do own this plot.**

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Epilogue

5 years later

I crouched down and wrapped my son in a tight embrace, holding his small body against my own for as long as possible. I was content to stay here forever, memorizing the feeling of his warm body pressed tightly against my chest, hoping that the memory would last me for the next several weeks. My exasperated five-year-old had other plans.

"Mamma," Aleksey groaned, wriggling free of my grasp at last. "People are staring."

They were.

I was content enough to ignore them but my son was much like his father and didn't like to attract unnecessary attention. I didn't mention it now but it was very unlikely that he'd be able to avoid such attention here. Not only were his parents pretty legendary and his own existence still a marvel, but my five-year-old son was strikingly handsome.

He was the kind of kid that you did a double take of when walking down the street. Not that I was bragging or anything.

Okay, I was. A little.

My baby looked like a miniature version of his father and it tripped up my heart every time I looked at him.

Dimitri's large hand came down to cup Aleksey's shoulder before he could go too far.

"Say goodbye to your mamma, Leasha," he admonished gently. "You won't see her for a few weeks and you'll regret not doing so." Much to my chagrin, Dimitri had not informed me when we were choosing Aleksey's name that it did, in fact, have a weird Russian nickname. While I was known to call him Alek on occasion the true nickname for Aleksey was Leasha, which was ridiculous to me but Dimitri had fallen into the habit of calling our son that when he was feeling particularly fond of him.

It was hard not to feel that way today. It was Aleksey's first day at St. Vladimir's. Dimitri and I had debated long and hard on where to send our son for his education. My maternal side had wanted nothing more than my son close at hand and had wanted him to work with tutors at Court. The practical side of me— the part that knew one of the hardest lessons a guardian had to learn was independence and self-reliance—had seen the benefit of allowing him to attend school elsewhere. His life and family was already strange enough for a young dhampir and we wanted to give him some common ground with his would-be peers.

Aleksey had made the final decision when offered the choice between Court, Alder and St. Vlads. He wanted to go where his mother had gone, where his parents had met. I'd agreed partially because our story started there but mostly because Alberta was still Head Guardian on campus and promised to keep me completely apprised of my son's progress. And yeah, I was kind of proud to have my son walking in my footsteps, no matter how much of a bad example they might be.

While my son was like his father in many, many ways he definitely had some Hathaway genes, most prominent of which—even at the young age of five—were sarcasm and a certain proclivity for attracting trouble. He didn't look for opportunities to exercise these genetic gifts but he certainly knew when to use them.

"You behave yourself," I told him, pulling him back towards me and kissing him squarely on the forehead. When he pulled back a step I still managed to keep contact, reaching up to smooth back his dark hair, identical to my own, though cut in a sensible cap of hair that was easily manageable for his age. "Listen to your teachers and work hard."

"But make friends, too," Dimitri added, also coming to crouch at eye level. "Have fun here. You are here to learn but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it."

"I know, Dad," he agreed, giving his father a shy, understanding, smile.

 _How strange,_ I thought, _that Dimitri and my roles are so reversed._ Once upon a time I would have been the one giving Aleksey advice on socializing while Dimitri would have been pushing for good behavior. I guess we were both imparting the best advice we'd ever received from each other.

"I love you, _moy mal'chik_ ," he said, also reaching out for a hug and kiss from our increasingly flustered offspring.

Once freed from his fathers grasp Aleksey hastily took a few steps back, looking up at us as we straightened to our full heights. He had to look significantly farther up for his father than me. Aleksey was rather tall for his age. Around us other parents were saying farewell to their children as they moved into the dorms. Dhampir mothers parted ways with their children while further across the courtyard Moroi parents parted ways with their own offspring. Dimitri was a sight to be seen, the only father among the dhampir parents.

Well, almost.

"Come on Aleksey!" Mandy Tanner's unmistakable voice sounded from behind us as she came darting past Dimitri and me and grabbed at Aleksey's hand. "I'll show you around. I have people for you to meet!"

A two-year veteran of St. Vladimir Academy, Mandy was eager to show her younger friend all she had learned. Mikhail came walking up to us at a slower pace, Sonya at his side.

"Behave Mandy," he called out, voice stern. "Don't cause any more trouble for your mother this year!"

"Yes Daddy!" she called, still tugging at my son's hand.

Sonya had resumed her teaching position at St. Vlads when her daughter came of age to attend. Not only did she run a biology club and gardening club here but also she had taken over Ms. Carmack's position as magic teacher. She even had three spirit users under her tutelage, two from Europe and one from Canada who traveled such distances solely to be her students. The resumption of her shining teaching career had been somewhat shadowed by her daughters troublemaking reputation. Mandy had turned out a real hellion, to her parents obvious distress.

Aleksey moved to follow his friend before stopping himself and turning back to us. Try as he might to act caviler in order to blend in with the cool kids he was an affectionate child who was extremely close to the both of us. I could see the excitement on his face but I could also see the nervousness in his eyes. He stared at us for a moment longer before quickly running forward and wrapping his arms around both of our legs, squeezing tightly. "I love you guys," he said into the fabric of my jeans. "I'll see you when Aunt Lissa comes to visit!"

And just like that he was off, running after Mandy to explore his new home. He was brave, too.

I clenched my jaw tightly, fighting back the burn of tears that threatened in my throat and eyes. I was much weaker than my son and didn't know how I would face the world without him waiting for me at home. I'd grown so accustomed to having my little family over the past few years. Each day I would finish my shift with Lissa and stop by the Court daycare to pick up Aleksey before coming home to make dinner and partake in domestic bliss with Dimitri. We'd spend family time with our son before bed and then all crowd into his bedroom where we would squeeze into his twin bed and look ridiculous as we tried not to spill back out. I would hold Aleksey while Dimitri read him a bedtime story. What would I do without that family time now? Without hearing someone calling 'Mom' every five minutes or banging on the bathroom door while I was trying to eek out two minutes of personal time in the shower? What would Dimitri and I do with all of our free time now? I didn't want free time. I wanted my son. I wanted him to rely on me as much as I relied on him. And now? Watching him walk off hand-in-hand with Mandy radiating utter confidence and excitement? It made me both ridiculously proud and sad. I may want Aleksey to rely on me but the fact that he didn't need to meant that I'd done my job as a mother.

Dimitri wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest, holding me tightly.

"He'll be fine," Sonya said from her husbands side. "It's tough the first time but he'll do great here. I'll keep an eye on him."

"Thanks, Sonya," I said pulling my face from Dimitri's chest long enough to flash her a smile.

"We'll be back here in a few weeks," Dimitri reminded me as he released me.

I nodded in agreement. Lissa always made her rounds among the American academies during the first few weeks of the school year. We'd be back here in three weeks. But it would be the longest three weeks of my life.

As Lissa's head guardian I would at least be kept busy over the next few weeks.

"I hope her tour of the academies doesn't take too long this year," Sonya pitched in. "It was already a stretch to get Doctor Gibson to allow her to go for a month. Go over that and she'll drag Her Majesty back to Court kicking and screaming."

I chuckled, easily able to picture this scenario. Lissa was five months pregnant with her first child, a girl she intended to name Rhea after her mother. She and Christian had been married almost four years before finally deciding to have children. They had both wanted to establish their careers before taking such a big step and it had paid off. Even with the two of them fully invested in their newborn daughter neither the Moroi political world nor Christian's combat magic initiative would suffer.

I glanced down at my own hand, watching the ring on my finger catch in the lights blazing from the school around us. Dimitri and I had gotten married a few months after Lissa had, waiting for the buzz of the royal wedding to subside before having our own private ceremony for family and close friends. I'd officially been a Belikova woman for three years and I had loved every minute of it.

Life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. After Marlen and Ambrose were no longer in our lives Strigoi didn't target us specifically but they were still a problem in our life. Their numbers continued to rise despite targeted offensive strikes taken against them by guardians and Moroi alike. I had no doubt that once my prime was past my son and his peers would take up the fight and the thought terrified me. But even at five I could see the fire that burned in Aleksey. He heard stories and knew the truth of our lifestyle. He wanted to be like his parents, wanted to protect people like his Aunt Lissa and Uncle Christian. He wanted to make a difference in the world. He'd have his chance. I was just glad I had a few more years to come to grips with that.

"Come on, Roza," Dimitri said as he looped an arm around my waist and urged me to turn back the way we'd come. "He'll be fine. We should get going."

I took a deep breath and stared at the doorway my son had disappeared through for a moment longer before turning around and allowing my husband to guide me away.

"Okay but I'm calling him when we get home," I warned. "I want to hear from him every night. You _know_ he won't brush his teeth without being told to."

"You mother him to much, Roza," Dimitri chuckled.

"I'm his _mother_ ," I stressed. "That's my job."

"And a fine job you do of it," he assured me.

* * *

 **A/N: And that concludes Only Him! Thank you all for sticking with me on this journey! Its been an incredible experience and I've valued every bit of feedback that you've given me.**


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